A Tapestry of Barge-laden Ley-lines

[RogerXXII]

Best thread title I could come up with, under the influence...

Damn Calvados! Hips..
:ohwell:

[StellaMaris]

I'm impressed, actually. It reads like obscure drivel on the surface, yet LADEN with meaning if someone knows the trigger words. A bit like my columns... :wink:

[RogerXXII]

A bit like Cherisey's pataphysical "code", eh?
We could add "Red Serpentine" to "Ley-lines? ;-)

[RogerXXII]

Well, the proverbial feces has impacted the equally proverbial ventilation system... Seems that Sekhet's erstwhile keeper has woven himself inextricably into a web of deceit. Shall he manage to find a wormhole to salvation? Or shall the entire edifice crumble?

We shall invoke Saint Michel and Sainte Barbe, to mitigate the damage.

[StellaMaris]

I once had a good friend who was a private detective... and he taught me that, in certain types of investigations, sometimes you don't need to do anything - that you simply need to be patient and wait until things unfold of their own accord.

In the meantime, I'm pleased to see that you are grasping how to correctly deploy the proper Newton Coordinates... someday you'll make a very good Herring! :wink:

[RogerXXII]

Dear "Madam",

Whether herring, shark or coelacanth, I shall never shed my fur for scales.
Aren't there enough scaly critters running around RLC? ;-)

[RogerXXII]

And now, suddenly, my knowledge has apparently made me dangerous.
I have a new understanding of the urgent need to discredit our Hidalgo friend. Children who point at the Emperor's "new clothes" and guffaw, get their pointing finger smashed, don't they?

This reminds me of that tag-line from an otherwise unremarkable TV show... "I love it when a plan falls apart" ... :eyebrow:

Or something like that!:chewiedance:

[StellaMaris]

Whether herring, shark or coelacanth, I shall never shed my fur for scales.

Okay, well I guess the Ordre du Hareng Rouge is just gonna have to form a coalition with the Confraternity of the Exalted Furry Thingy, then...

Is it just my imagination or does that actually sound a bit rude? :eyebrow:

[RogerXXII]

Is it just my imagination or does that actually sound a bit rude? :eyebrow:

It actually does... a bit.
You musn't let the Blue Rose get to you!
:popcorn:

[StellaMaris]

You musn't let the Blue Rose get to you!

Eek. Well, that clinches it... I'm definitely changing my avatar, just in case! I'm just having technical problems shrinking the fish, so to speak... :eek:

[RogerXXII]

Meanwhile... back at the oppidum, gigantic earthworks were in progress... the slave labour grumbled, but things were taking shape...

Until... suddenly... the foreman exclaimed "damnation and curses! we've built it in reverse!"...

But then the Lord of the Manor, ever the magnanimous Hidalgo, reassured him "surely, the pot-bellied dwarves of the future will be able to work it out... no worries!"
:)

[StellaMaris]

Profuse apologies... I became so absorbed by the shrinking fish that I completely overlooked the poppadum-consuming pot-bellied dwarves!

So, it is time to summon Launcelot to salvage Chapel Perilous or do we wait?!

[RogerXXII]

Someone recently told me that sitting and waiting is the thing to do, particularly when the other party is prone to missteps and has an irresistible penchant for the grotesque...

The problem with the grotesque is that it's very difficult to satirize... I mean, it's already over the top, isn't it?

[StellaMaris]

Someone recently told me that sitting and waiting is the thing to do, particularly when the other party is prone to missteps and has an irresistible penchant for the grotesque...

In that case, let's invoke Saint Joan of Arc to help out Michael and Barbara, as the 30th is Joanie's Feast Day...

But, while we're waiting for the inevitable, can we at least enjoy a nice bottle of vin rouge?:-

http://www.cellartracker.com/wine.asp?iWine=393205

The problem with the grotesque is that it's very difficult to satirize... I mean, it's already over the top, isn't it?

The trick is to regard this as a challenge to your creative skills. We can always invent neo-Surrealism as a creative aid?

[ProfessorW]

The problem with the grotesque is that it's very difficult to satirize... I mean, it's already over the top, isn't it?

... but surely even the currently un-yummy Robert Langdon would be able to discern that STELLA MARIS could make a SMALL SATIRE out of even the grotesque. Or should one not even touch the grotesque with a barge-pole? :eyebrow:

Completely, à propos de bottes, does anyone have any views as to whether Royston Cave(s) was/were a Templar initiation centre or a prison? My Roger Waters' obsessed guide thought the former; I suspect the latter. The inscription "Trial" seemed like a clue... :headscratch:

[RogerXXII]

Wot's Roger got to do with it?

I believe the answer to that is: neither. Try to put yourself in the boots of a sickeningly Catholic Knight of them there olden days...

It's astonishing to me that "initiation" is a knee-jerk reflex for most people, to such an extent that I sort of welcome the strange new notion of a "prison".
:smirk:

[RogerXXII]

Breaking News. The inspiration for grilled fish recipes in riddles has been found. If you feel flush, join the punters at the auction.

But I didn't know you could fish on the Bugarach!

[ProfessorW]

Wot's Roger got to do with it?

I believe the answer to that is: neither. Try to put yourself in the boots of a sickeningly Catholic Knight of them there olden days...

It's astonishing to me that "initiation" is a knee-jerk reflex for most people, to such an extent that I sort of welcome the strange new notion of a "prison".
:smirk:

Now, I happen to share my "misguided" guide's musical bent, but I can't see why a devoted knight - even of a dying/dead order would freely use an underground chamber (26 feet high) for any purpose. Entry and egress were cumbersome - to say the least - and a normal overground building would have made far more sense. The suggestion - made by my "underground" guide that animals would have been ritually slaughtered by the Templars in the cave made me think that consciousness-expansion should be limited to music and not history. Sadly, the earth which filled the cave was removed without examination. There wouldn't have been room for even a goat to be dropped down into the cave - and what's the point of ritually slaughtering a chicken or a small lamb or maybe a fish?:headscratch:

I tend to think that the rules of Hotel California applied to the cave...

[StellaMaris]

"This is an oubliette, the Labyrinth's full of 'em."

If Roger keeps going on about grilled fish, I'm going to have to change my avatar again:-

6:3 Then the angel said unto him, Take the fish. And the young man laid hold of the fish, and drew it to land.

6:4 To whom the angel said, Open the fish, and take the heart and the liver and the gall, and put them up safely.

6:5 So the young man did as the angel commanded him; and when they had roasted the fish, they did eat it:

:popcorn:

[MortemForay]

Joan of Arc - Baptême du feu

Royston Cave - Baptême du la terre

The Mice once visited the cave and found it was flooded, perhaps there is more than a single element involved in this mystery...

P.S. Don't grill the the faithful 'Babel Fish' either! :eek:

[RogerXXII]

"This is an oubliette, the Labyrinth's full of 'em."

If Roger keeps going on about grilled fish, I'm going to have to change my avatar again:-

6:3 Then the angel said unto him, Take the fish. And the young man laid hold of the fish, and drew it to land.

6:4 To whom the angel said, Open the fish, and take the heart and the liver and the gall, and put them up safely.

6:5 So the young man did as the angel commanded him; and when they had roasted the fish, they did eat it:

:popcorn:


And tell me.. that angel fella, did he show ID? I mean it's all and well for some to just say "Call me Gabriel", but any Asmodeus, Nancy or Larry could say the same, and Bob's yer uncle. No?

[ProfessorW]

"This is an oubliette, the Labyrinth's full of 'em."
Aha, I feel a Muppet for even asking the question.

...but, by a sad association of ideas (well, Terry Jones actually), could it be that the Angel and the young man performed the fish-slapping dance before partaking of said fish? Was the fish, by any chance, the "piece of cod which passeth all understanding"? This is the stuff that you can never find - even in the Apocrypha!

[RogerXXII]

If Roger keeps going on about grilled fish, I'm going to have to change my avatar again

Well at least you've got an avatar, so stop complaining!

[StellaMaris]

And tell me.. that angel fella, did he show ID? I mean it's all and well for some to just say "Call me Gabriel", but any Asmodeus, Nancy or Larry could say the same, and Bob's yer uncle. No?

Not that it mattered to the bloody fish whether it was a faux angel or not - he got eaten anyway! That boy Tobit sure had a lot of gall...

Speaking of which... my English/Latin Vulgate only has the New Testament translated. You don't happen to know where I could pick up an original version of the Book of Tobit, do you? :wink:

[StellaMaris]

P.S. Don't grill the the faithful 'Babel Fish' either! :eek:

Hey Mort! Did you know that the President of the Papal Academy for Sciences is lobbying the Vatican to rehabilitate Giordano Bruno??

[Mnemosyne]

In that case, let's invoke Saint Joan of Arc to help out Michael and Barbara, as the 30th is Joanie's Feast Day...

But, while we're waiting for the inevitable, can we at least enjoy a nice bottle of vin rouge?:-


Greetings Fair Sistah:

You do know what today is...or have you forgotten?? I hope the other part of the act has not forgotten.

"M"

[StellaMaris]

You do know what today is...or have you forgotten?? I hope the other part of the act has not forgotten.

How could I possibly forget that May 28th is the day that Alpha Virginis corresponds to the Meridian?

Bart will be covering for me on Saturday, as I will be away at a secret location carrying out the Ordre's work, but I think his tribute to our predecessors will amuse you! :wink:

[Mnemosyne]

How could I possibly forget that May 28th is the day that Alpha Virginis corresponds to the Meridian?

Ah...Stella...have you've forgotten?! I'll give you a clue:

We'll always have Paris


He's the keeper of our feast. :wink:

[RogerXXII]

You don't happen to know where I could pick up an original version of the Book of Tobit, do you?

Just so happens, I have a deal for you... You can pick one up whilst playing Golf. And speaking of playing, there's a great new play in the wrks. Curtain rises up this week-end on the windswept Plateau de Salvaterre...

[StellaMaris]

We'll always have Paris

I wouldn't bring up Paris, if I were you, it's poor salesmanship.

Okay, I give in - Happy Feast Day of Saint Germain! Now I want to go and drink Pimm's Royale at the Deux Magots and search for relics...

BTW, Roger... have I ever told you just how much I HATE Golf?! This play sounds interesting, though... keep us posted!

[RogerXXII]

You may well hate Golf, my dear young friend, but the Keeper of the Keys to the Tower of St James is having a frantic round for himself.

But, alas! Dessert has been withheld from all the punters! I've been succumbing to such uncontrollable mirth that my ribs hurt... Help!

[StellaMaris]

You may well hate Golf, my dear young friend, but the Keeper of the Keys to the Tower of St James is having a frantic round for himself.

He's always playing with himself - nothing new there! :eyebrow:

Oops...

[RogerXXII]

Well our Golfer left empty-handed... and so did everyone else. The prize was yanked out of reach.

What a distraction from the Dwarf Summit! What do a pot-bellied dwarf, an ethical dwarf , a mental dwarf and a red-headed dwarf discuss at such events?

Their trips down the rabbit-hole, of course! Meanwhile, it appears that The Father Confessor never died where all the experts say he did. Que Lastima! Vamonos a la frontera para cantar las leyendas de RLC...

[Mnemosyne]

What a distraction from the Dwarf Summit! What do a pot-bellied dwarf, an ethical dwarf , a mental dwarf and a red-headed dwarf discuss at such events?

I'm sorry...there's an ethical dwarf in this bunch?

"M"

[RogerXXII]

Well, to be perfectly truthful, Mnemosyne, they're all afflicted to a larger or lesser degree with ethical dwarfism, but that affliction stands out particularly in one member of the quartet.

[StellaMaris]

I'm sorry...there's an ethical dwarf in this bunch?

Allow me to translate... I think Roger is alluding to the fact that one of the cartoon characters is LOW in ethics, not that he is a small person with high ethics.

We have a karmically-clean non-bashing policy here on Mania, which encourages us to expand our creative expression.

Therefore, Roger is now an expert in ironic humour in English, American, and French - plus he speaks fluent Priory of Sion and Music Biz - so our references and tangents sometimes get a bit obscure, even by 23.5 standards.

But, hang in there - you'll get used to us. :wink:

[RogerXXII]

Roger learning good! Roger taking Big Kahuna Leo Madam accelerated course...

Roger can now innocently point out no-nose Pinocchios in 23 different languages!

[Mnemosyne]

Well, to be perfectly truthful, Mnemosyne, they're all afflicted to a larger or lesser degree with ethical dwarfism, but that affliction stands out particularly in one member of the quartet.


Ah! Thank you for the clarification as I now see clearly what you mean. I do hope these dwarfs carry string.
"M"

[Mnemosyne]

Therefore, Roger is now an expert in ironic humour in English, American, and French - plus he speaks fluent Priory of Sion and Music Biz - so our references and tangents sometimes get a bit obscure, even by 23.5 standards.

But, hang in there - you'll get used to us. :wink:

I do admit, he had me stumped and I was at a loss. It was kind of like looking for the grail.

M

[StellaMaris]

Roger learning good! Roger taking Big Kahuna Leo Madam accelerated course...

Now, be nice or else I'll take your cigarettes away and make you go walk a labyrinth! :Tongue:

Roger can now innocently point out no-nose Pinocchios in 23 different languages!

You mean 23.5 different languages...! :)

[MortemForay]

You mean 23.5 different languages...! :)

One half... :headscratch:

Squeek Squeek
Squeek Squeek Squeek
Eek Eek Squeek
Eek Eek Eek
Eek
Squeek Eek Squeek Eek
Squeek Squeek Squeek
Squeek Eek Eek
Eek

[RogerXXII]

Now, be nice or else I'll take your cigarettes away and make you go walk a labyrinth! :Tongue:

I walk non-existent labyrinths, given enough Calvados...

You mean 23.5 different languages...! :)
Yessss.... the .5 language is Tautavel Pidgin... :smirk2:

[ProfessorW]

One half... :headscratch:

Squeek Squeek
Squeek Squeek Squeek
Eek Eek Squeek
Eek Eek Eek
Eek
Squeek Eek Squeek Eek
Squeek Squeek Squeek
Squeek Eek Eek
Eek

I was very concerned by these cheesy comments, which are within a cat's whisker of being libellous. To compare certain writers to other less amiable rodents (and even a cat!) and to compare their writings with droppings, is to fall into a trap of which, I believe, even Art Spiegelman would not be capable. This is murid malevolence at its worst!:mad:

If I have misunderstood Mort's "demi-langue", I sincerely apologise as my main language is dolphin and I only know conversational mouse.:wink:

[StellaMaris]

You guys have really made my day - you can't imagine what a RELIEF it is to have finally found my intellectual equals after all these years!

:bounce:

Being named after a bird in the Real World, my demi-langue is of course The Language of the Birds, specialising in fluent Finch.

But, Roger, SHAME on you for revealing the true secret of the Labyrinth... religious ritual has never been the same since the discovery of fermentation!

[RogerXXII]

Shame on ME!!!???

I'm not the one who thinks sticking pyramids everywhere and anywhere is just good sport!

[ProfessorW]

I'm not the one who thinks sticking pyramids everywhere and anywhere is just good sport!

Perhaps one simply needs to take a less borné approach to virtual history and virtual geography. If one abandons the shackles of conventional (old age) thinking, it might become easier to understand, for example, that the Rubik's Cube is the labyrinth de nos jours. As we all know, however, the Cube was discovered by Saint Credulus in the twelfth century. It was referred to in the rare first edition of The Name of the Rose. Now that wasn't too difficult, was it?:headscratch:

If anyone wants to buy the original Cube instructions (in Aramaic), I can let them have an authenticated copy, signed by "Saint Credulus". Terms on application.

[StellaMaris]

Roger's in a snit because I said somewhere that IM Pei's Louvre extension had grown on me. It was highly amusing working in Paris when all the Frenchies went bananas when it was unveiled... some of them have obviously never properly recovered and harbour deep pyramidal prejudices.

Anyway, IM Pei is old hat now... you should see some of the skyscrapers that have just been approved to be built on the footprint of former Templar properties on the South Bank of the Thames, just to the east of the Barge House Stairs... they are like the 21st century equivalent of the gothic cathedrals.

BTW, did I mention that in addition to aligning with the Axe Historique, the Louvre also aligns with the Zero Meridian? How cool is that?

[RogerXXII]

I don't get into snits...
I have conniptions.

[StellaMaris]

I'm having my own conniptions trying to figure out how to insert an image into a post on this bloody forum!

Speaking of images, I'm glad to see you've finally got your avatar sorted out. :wink:

[RogerXXII]

It's magick, with the accent on the "ick"...

[RogerXXII]

And now.. for something completely different!

We have an invasion of Northern Dwarves into the ongoing RLC saga!

Well... perhaps not so different after all... same dumb lines, with a different accent...:ohwell:

[StellaMaris]

This one doesn't look like a fully-fledged dwarf to me... I think he's only a trained glove puppet. Be careful, though, they tend to proliferate.

[RogerXXII]

I'm off to my trusted chemist to purchase the industrial size "puppet-glove repellent" spray can. I shall request the "extra-strength Menopausal Magdalenophiliac" formula.

[RogerXXII]

Well I've not had such a good laugh in a long time... I've been watching a pot-bellied dwarf bobbing and weaving, twirling and pirouetting, spouting forth inanities from both sides of his mouth as he tries to wriggle out of a trap he laid for himself.

When shall these dwarves understand that the weaving of webs is best left to spiders? ;-)

[ProfessorW]

When shall these dwarves understand that the weaving of webs is best left to spiders? ;-)

Hollywood tells us that the vast majority of dwarves are not happy...:wink:

[RogerXXII]

Well this particular pot-bellied dwarf is definitely going to be Grumpy.
Not that this will in any manner deter his core of disciples. Now he's calling Spanish Alchemists to the rescue! How he thinks that someone whose only weapon is nebulous prose and a dim understanding of events will be able to help, is a mystery... But it's best we not delve too deeply into the psyche of dwarves...

[RogerXXII]

And now it's official. The pot-bellied dwarf has been caught in flagrante delicto, passing off an old and illegible (to most of the punters) document as something altogether different and marvelous.

Having once been told that "the best form of defense is an attack", the pot-bellied dwarf is gyrating at maximum speed, spouting off insults and sarcasm as fast as his "grande gueule" can deliver venom. But all for naught, as the documents he once waved around as a trophy, leaving no occasion unexploited to show that he alone held the documentary "keys to the kingdom", these very documents have become the proof and symbols of his eternal shame and announce to one and all his status as a pariah.

Not so well played, my little dwarf, but fear not, you will always have your small coterie of blind faithful. Just no punters to cheat.

[ProfessorW]

Not so well played, my little dwarf, but fear not, you will always have your small coterie of blind faithful. Just no punters to cheat.

I believe that Section 419 Nigerian scams operate on a success rate of one hit per 100,000 emails sent. Depends on whether you believe in the Greater Fool Theory or not...:headscratch:

[StellaMaris]

Not so well played, my little dwarf, but fear not, you will always have your small coterie of blind faithful. Just no punters to cheat.

In the old days, there would have been hate pages set up by now and vendetta campaigns launched against you.

Am watching events transpire with interest. :popcorn:

[RogerXXII]

The New Days are much the same as the Old. Already, I have incurred the wrath of a forum owner "for my tone" and my "personal agenda", although I'm not quite sure what a "personal agenda" has to do with denouncing fraud?

At the same time, the Right Reverend Mutt (or is it Jeff? I always get those two mixed up!) has piped in that my strict devotion to facts has been a deterrent to his posting as much nonsense as he'd like...

And the pot-bellied dwarf? Well! That one's breaking records for coining new insults in French! Actually, some of them are rather neat and I might use them in the near future...

All in all, a good day. If you go to bed without having tee'd off at least a dozen miscreants, your day was wasted, right?

[StellaMaris]

It's like the story of the Emperor's new clothes, isn't it?

But, what I still don't understand, after nigh-on 15 years of this, is WHY people keep falling for the same old recycled performances?

What do we have to do to get people to see that the Emperor isn't actually WEARING any clothes?!

[RogerXXII]

It's like the story of the Emperor's new clothes, isn't it?

But, what I still don't understand, after nigh-on 15 years of this, is WHY people keep falling for the same old recycled performances?

What do we have to do to get people to see that the Emperor isn't actually WEARING any clothes?!

Part of the problem is that it's impossible to tell for sure... he may be concealing a loincloth under that prodigious abdomen?

We could ask to a rear view... but frankly, I'm not quite prepared for that! :lol: