HighSky Presents: Real Men of Genius...

[Immortal1982]

(Real men of genius.....)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Door to Door Preacher guy.
(Mr. Door to Door Preacher guy!)
When people feel tired, you know just when to show up (:rolleyes: )
Bothering Tired citizens when they are trying to sleep, to preach the word of Og, or Jenova (Will you be saved?)
Being told im Hellbound With the subtlety of a brick to the head (ow that fucking hurtz)
Don't worry, The 2nd Coming of my boot up your ass will look mighty fine very soon...(Blessed be!)
So open yourself a big can of STFU, Mr. Door to Door Preacher guy, you've earned it....(Mr Door to Door Preacher guy.....)

-----------------------------------------------

(Disclaimer: I have nothing against religion, i was born catholic, recieved several sacrements, and attended Catholic school.)

After pulling an all-nighter at work (system crash and a lost shipment needed replacing :( ), I finally get home at about 9:30 this morning and just crash. I get woken up 90 minutes later by a continuous knocking and doorbell ringing. Thinking its a fucking emergency, its my surprise to find out its a Jehovah's witness at the door.

I suppose you can pretty much see how i wasted five minutes of my life, but i'll say it anyways. The man goes right into his effort to get me to repent, ignoring the fact that im Half-asleep and All-Pissed-Off. When he stopped, I just calmly looked him dead in the eye and said, I'm sorry, I'm not interested. Usually that gets them leaving.

That seemed to steel his resolve as he continued, ignoring what i had just said. Continuing his sermon of the porch, he tried to move into the house without asking(WTF!!!) and i pushed back hard. That got his attention. He Immediately told me i was going to hell because i wouldn't let a neighbor into my home 'freely'. At this point, i calmly said(yeah right), GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY *******!

I think i saw piss run down his leg as he ran away....

I called the local hall with a description, and I hope to take care of this. I have met several witnesses over the years, and they are not bad people. This one though, gives the rest a bad name.

I never got back to bed.:(

~SkY~

[southpaw]

I'll save you a seat in Hell.

[rappites]

Keep a squirt gun by the door if they decide to come back. Like one hooked up to a garden hose. Tell them it is filled with holy water.

[southpaw]

Or better yet, urine.

[Senormac]

Is he really your neighbor? I bet he don't live in your neighborhood, which would make him a liar also.........

[Rowanberry]

Probably to that guy, "neighbour" means about all people in the world that he's trying to convert... :romy: Even my devout Christian friends despise such overenthusiastic door-to-door preachers.

But, it appeared to me that this man might have been a fraud; a thief pretending to be a preacher, trying to get into the house to snatch something valuable. There are such guys around, usually they just choose unsuspecting elderly people as their victims. :(

[DaForce]

See, this is the reason I have two baseball bats and a very large machete within grabbing distance of my front door.

It also helps that people can't just wander into my building from off the street.

[tstone]

If it makes you feel any better, I actually heard the narrator from those spots and his singalong dude in my head as I read this.

:lol:

Good stuff...

:D





(Real men of genius.....)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Door to Door Preacher guy.
(Mr. Door to Door Preacher guy!)
When people feel tired, you know just when to show up (:rolleyes: )
Bothering Tired citizens when they are trying to sleep, to preach the word of Og, or Jenova (Will you be saved?)
Being told im Hellbound With the subtlety of a brick to the head (ow that fucking hurtz)
Don't worry, The 2nd Coming of my boot up your ass will look mighty fine very soon...(Blessed be!)
So open yourself a big can of STFU, Mr. Door to Door Preacher guy, you've earned it....(Mr Door to Door Preacher guy.....)

-----------------------------------------------

(Disclaimer: I have nothing against religion, i was born catholic, recieved several sacrements, and attended Catholic school.)

After pulling an all-nighter at work (system crash and a lost shipment needed replacing :( ), I finally get home at about 9:30 this morning and just crash. I get woken up 90 minutes later by a continuous knocking and doorbell ringing. Thinking its a fucking emergency, its my surprise to find out its a Jehovah's witness at the door.

I suppose you can pretty much see how i wasted five minutes of my life, but i'll say it anyways. The man goes right into his effort to get me to repent, ignoring the fact that im Half-asleep and All-Pissed-Off. When he stopped, I just calmly looked him dead in the eye and said, I'm sorry, I'm not interested. Usually that gets them leaving.

That seemed to steel his resolve as he continued, ignoring what i had just said. Continuing his sermon of the porch, he tried to move into the house without asking(WTF!!!) and i pushed back hard. That got his attention. He Immediately told me i was going to hell because i wouldn't let a neighbor into my home 'freely'. At this point, i calmly said(yeah right), GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY *******!

I think i saw piss run down his leg as he ran away....

I called the local hall with a description, and I hope to take care of this. I have met several witnesses over the years, and they are not bad people. This one though, gives the rest a bad name.

I never got back to bed.:(

~SkY~

[Jakester]

Luke, I firmly believe that Jesus died for our sins. Like me, you should try to make it worth his time.

[kah]

I'll save you a seat in Hell.

Hey! We don't believe in Hell, remember? I made you a jersey and everything!
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e164/kahlancypher/nohell.jpg

[Immortal1982]

Luke, I firmly believe that Jesus died for our sins. Like me, you should try to make it worth his time.

heh. I think this is the damn funniest response i've ever seen from Jakester. Just a perfectly unexpected damn good reply.
But, it appeared to me that this man might have been a fraud; a thief pretending to be a preacher, trying to get into the house to snatch something valuable. There are such guys around, usually they just choose unsuspecting elderly people as their victims.

I locked all the doors since i was home alone, but i was wondering the same thing. The gentlemen i talked to at the Kingdom Hall seemed genuinly concerned too, apologizing. I told him to put me on the list of 'non-visits'.

I finally got 12 hours of sleep after typing up the op last night. felt good.

[omicron]

I think a better reply would be:
Luke, I firmly believe that Jesus died for our sins. Like me, you should try to make it worth his sacrifice. :lol:

And it always freaks me out when Jake uses your real name cause it's my name too.

Omi

[Trazalca]

I personally think everyone should write their own Bud Light Presents jingle.

So here's mine. :D

*****

Trazalca Presents- Real men of genius...

(Real men of genius!)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Cinescape poster guy.

(Mr. Cinescape poster guy!)

When you're bored at work and surfing the web, you know where to go to post your feelings to the internet world over just about anything.

(I hate that Britney Spears!)

Wanna create a poll about Star Wars versus Lord of the Rings?
Or Munchkins versus Oompah-Loompahs? Go right ahead.
Just know that everyone else that posts there is just as bored as you are, and really doesn't give a sh!t.

(I wanna read a Traz rant!)

Feeling political or just plain horny? Not to worry.
Just create a thread about kittens that God may kill,
and the rest will take care of itself.

(Jakester grabbed my boobies!)

So crack open a cold one, Mr. Cinescape poster guy.
'Cause everyone needs a high post count.

(Mr. Cinescape poster guy!)


:D :rolleyes: :D :cool:

[kah]

Show-off.

[Bokchoi Cowboy]

I think a better reply would be:

And it always freaks me out when Jake uses your real name cause it's my name too.

Omi


"..My name too" huh? They call that "having a John-Jacob-Jingleheimer-Schmidt moment"...



*

[Sgt. Awesome]

I thought you said movement there... like it's the John-Jacob-Jingleheimer-Schmidt Movement's amendment to the Constituion.

[tstone]

Good one, Traz. Lemme try...


Tstone presents, Real Men of Genius

(Real Men of Genius!)

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Lame 70s TV Show Worshipper!

(Mr. Lame 70s TV Show Worshipper!)

Ever vigilant, on the prowl, when everyone else forgets, YOU are the one who remembers the glow American families gathered around.

(Family Values!)

Yes, you remember the true reason for TV, to give those who would rather not talk to each other something to focus on besides the awkward silence!

(Shut up, the show's on!)

Yes, from Gopher's pratfalls, to Horshack's endearing laugh, you remember when TV was at it's greatest!

(Watchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?)

And those who would strip mine the cultural landscape of 70s TV with cheap remakes, you've an internet petition to express your blazing wrath! And the forums? They are your cut and paste B*TCH!

(Starbuck as a chick? Blasphemy!)

So get to the kitchen and crack open a cold one, Mr. Lame 70s TV Show Worshipper. Even you need an excuse to get out of your Mom's basement every now and then.

(Mr. Lame 70s TV Show Worshipper!)


:smirk:










I personally think everyone should write their own Bud Light Presents jingle.

So here's mine. :D

*****

Trazalca Presents- Real men of genius...

(Real men of genius!)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Cinescape poster guy.

(Mr. Cinescape poster guy!)

When you're bored at work and surfing the web, you know where to go to post your feelings to the internet world over just about anything.

(I hate that Britney Spears!)

Wanna create a poll about Star Wars versus Lord of the Rings?
Or Munchkins versus Oompah-Loompahs? Go right ahead.
Just know that everyone else that posts there is just as bored as you are, and really doesn't give a sh!t.

(I wanna read a Traz rant!)

Feeling political or just plain horny? Not to worry.
Just create a thread about kittens that God may kill,
and the rest will take care of itself.

(Jakester grabbed my boobies!)

So crack open a cold one, Mr. Cinescape poster guy.
'Cause everyone needs a high post count.

(Mr. Cinescape poster guy!)


:D :rolleyes: :D :cool:

[Immortal1982]

A little unexpected update this the original story. The guy, who has no affliation with any church, got arrested in the next town over. I don't have a newspaper link, but what happened was he tried to do the same thing that he did to me, but to a 12 year old girl, home sick from school. Lucky somebody walking by saw the guy force himself into the house. He's been charged, and been sent to the local state hospital for evaluation.