The Ridiculous 007 Rumor Round-Up Rodeo!

[Boromir006]

Mi6.co.uk's got some interesting ones this week. Not completely off the wall or Aishwarya Rai-related, but worthy of addition to the rodeo, which I'm sure will be quite expansive once 2008 rolls around.

Firstly, "trade papers" claim Bond 22 will be based on the Fleming short stories The Hildebrand Rarity, Risico, The Property of a Lady and 007 in New York. All well and good except that elements from these have all been used already. The Hildebrand Rarity introduces Milton Krest and his boat the Wavekrest (Licence to Kill), Risico is the Columbo/Kristatos story from For Your Eyes Only, The Property of a Lady pops up in Octopussy and 007 in New York features a character named Solange - our dear Caterina Murino. I guess all they need to do now is throw Vivienne Michel, Sluggsy and Horror and the Spangled Mob into the mix and they've got their movie. Admittedly this is not entirely out of the realm of possibility as even Die Another Day borrowed a character name from the "unofficial" Kingsley Amis Bond novel Colonel Sun (Colonel Tan-Sun Moon).

Next is our nominee to replace the late Kevin McClory as the perpetual thorn-in-the-side of Eon - Quentin Tarantino, claiming it was his idea to do Casino Royale and that the producers wouldn't hire him because something along the lines of they thought he would "make it too good and f*** the rest of the series." Yes, because every film producer deliberately sets out to make a pile of puke instead of a great movie. (Well, I don't know about the dudes who keep cranking out direct-to-video sequels to Cruel Intentions...)

IMDb's FAQ page for CR has the answer to this one. Tarantino could never be hired for a Bond movie because he's not a member of the Directors' Guild. (Neither is George Lucas, in case anyone was wondering - he quit when the Guild tried to force him to put opening technical credits on The Empire Strikes Back.) Union rules and all that. Which Mr. Tarantino is fully aware of.

Looking forward to more! Yee-haw!

[Kara Milovy]

Tarantino is a spoiled brat, and that's the script that particular rumor is playing to.

The short story rumor is quite funny, because it supposedly "quotes" Purvis and Wade, except the quotes from Purvis & Wade in the article don't support it.

Risico has been fully filmed, and Property of a Lady about 3/4 filmed, plus the title was checked so that's out. The scorpion tail whip from Hildebrand was also used in LTK. 007 in New York has no plot. So what, exactly, would using it mean?

[Boromir006]

Here we go again - MI6 reports that Dutch actress Carice van Houten (any relation to Milhouse?) is being considered for the lead in Bond 22. At least they say it's unlikely and point out that Eva Green wasn't cast until shooting had already started on Casino Royale.

And this isn't a rumor, but it's funny - British Airways have cut Richard Branson's cameo from their inflight showings of CR. They have also blurred out any appearance of Virgin Airlines planes in the movie. Nothing like a little friendly competition!

[WhiteKnight]

I realize, of course, there is almost no chance the van Houten rumor will be be true, but I could live with this casting if it came about. She's definitely very attractive and she's at least in roughly the same age demographic as Craig. I didn't really care for seeing Brosnan bedding Miranda Frost in DAD knowing full well she could have been his daughter.

[LeiterCIA]

I didn't really care for seeing Brosnan bedding Miranda Frost in DAD knowing full well she could have been his daughter.

I thought Brosnan and Denise Richards was even worse.

[WhiteKnight]

True, but admitting it makes it tought to keep up my illusion that Denise Richards in TWINE was just a horrible nightmare.

[fastcar]

If this ever becomes true, I will never see another Bond movie again.


Twin Bond Girls in Bond 22 (http://www.thehollywoodnews.com/article/article_2007_05_18_2856.html)


Blood pours from my eyes!

[Kara Milovy]

It's genuinely the silliest one yet. Maybe EVER.

[mckracken]

thats funny... hopefully there isnt a grain of truth behind this however arent the Olsens all grown up now? they could be Bond's children!

[Boromir006]

That's awesome in its sheer ludicrousness. (Once again, a nameless Bond producer "desperate" to sign someone!)

[bdd]

The sad thing is I could see it happen.

[Daltons Chin Dimple]

I can see Visnic as the villain as he tested for 007 this time round. It often happens in this franchise that people are considered for one role and then pop up in another at a later date.

Also, as he is Croatian he also could easily play an Algerian (think Zidane, an Algerian immigrant who captained France at the last World Cup) and the rumours are that the next villain will hail from that part of the world.

Re : the Olsen twins. Just NO !!!!!

Next rumour, Paris Hilton as a femme fatale, no doubt.

[conman]

Yeah this is that time of a Bond film where all the inane, take-it-with-a-grain-of-salt rumours start to pour in. Pretty soon Eminem will be named as the title song performer. Although I think Goran would be a fantastic choice as the Algerian boyfriend. I can see him and Craig gelling together on screen in a similar way that Bean and Brosnan did in GoldenEye.

[Cooper]

Not as ridiculous a rumor as the Olsen Twins. ..but a rumor nonetheless.

http://www.cinematical.com/2007/05/21/source-says-director-marc-forster-offered-bond-22/

[Boromir006]

Don't see that happening. He's not British (or from a Commonwealth country for that matter - see Martin Campbell & Lee Tamahori).

As for Tony Scott - puh-leeze! The whole movie will be filmed in rooms with horizontal blinds. If they're interested in anybody from that family, go for brother Ridley (like he'd ever do it... but one can dream.)

[Daltons Chin Dimple]

007 has a new found veneer of respectability after CR. Ridley might be persuaded. Spielberg always dreamed of doing one as well (and is friends with Craig), not that he has the time !

[Boromir006]

Eon won't ever hire a "celebrity" director like Ridley Scott or Steven Spielberg because it would mean giving up a measure of control they have as yet been unwilling to part with. And in some respects that's just as well. This was the issue I had with Bond fans who wanted Quentin Tarantino to direct one - it becomes then not a Bond movie but a Quentin Tarantino film that happens to have James Bond in it. (QT couldn't legally be hired to do a Bond movie anyway as he isn't a member of the Directors Guild - something he fails to mention whenever he mouths off about how Casino Royale was his idea).

Somebody more along the lines of Paul Greengrass (United 93 and the latter two Bourne movies), Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) or Stephen Hopkins (Lost in Space, the first season of 24) is more their style - a journeyman, preferably English, with a few good solid credits and the ability to tell a story well. That's all you need, really.

[Cooper]

This isn't a rumor but it does relate to the director talk.

From the London Times, Director Roger Michell discusses why he backed out of Bond22.

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/stage/theatre/article1877785.ece

[Boromir006]

I'm adding the collected stories about Amy Winehouse to the rodeo. Too many to link to but most of them can be found at MI6.co.uk. According to Wikipedia (again, not the most reliable source of information, but is anything rodeo-worthy ever?) she claimed she'd been asked as far back as late 2006 to sing the theme for Bond 22. Now we have a chorus of voices including David Arnold and Shirley Bassey pushing her and Winehouse's record producer talking about it like it's a fait accompli.

Firstly, "Bond Family" people pushing actors or whoever else to join the series seldom see their suggestions adopted (eg. Brosnan suggesting Colin Salmon as Bond). Secondly, how can Eon be considering theme song performers when they don't even have a completed script, let alone a title?

We've seen these sorts before. Like when it was absolutely certain that Spice Girl Melanie C was going to sing The World is Not Enough. Interestingly when Chris Cornell was confirmed for Casino Royale he had never remotely been on the Bond rumor radar, at least not as far as I could tell.

It won't be anyone you're expecting, and it won't be confirmed until late next year (like September-October-ish). So Miss Winehouse and cohorts can go to bed until then. For the record, considering what a horse's rear end she seems to be I'd say keep her away from Bond with a ten foot pole - I don't care how she sings.

[Boromir006]

A few days late with this one, but another Bond Girl rumor, this time Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty:

http://www.mi6.co.uk/news/index.php?itemid=5268

Wow - another report about desperate producers trying to sign the "perfect" wannabe starlet. Eon's staff must consume Xanax by the boatload considering how "desperate" they always seem to be.

I'm beginning to think there must be a random Bond Girl Rumor article generator somewhere where you just drop in the name of this week's attention-hungry flash-in-the-pan and it spits out the same old crap.

[Kara Milovy]

Wow, Boromir, between the Xanax remark and the random rumor generator, you're TOTALLY on a roll today! :D

[Daltons Chin Dimple]

The only comment i could make about Shilpa Shetty would be in bad taste and too sexist for the ladies in this forum, so I shall refrain.

[Archangel972]

The only comment i could make about Shilpa Shetty would be in bad taste and too sexist for the ladies in this forum, so I shall refrain.

Then why bother posting this in the first place?

Come on, tell us what you really feel! :Smirk: