Stand up, or sit down?

[Gentlemen Death]

I watched this movie the other day, but i forgot what it was called. One of the characters brought up a point which i found very intriguing. It is very simple; when you take a crap, do you stand up, or sit down when you wipe??

Well, which one do you do? (Yes this is an immature topic, but i thought it might be funny. I was not aware someone could sit down and wipe after going to the bathroom, very intersting stuff!)

[Kaeos]

This was a Bubba The Love Sponge topic a few weeks ago.

Wow, we've sunk to countering political poop slinging to actual poop talk.

Well, I'll play, why not.

Half stand / hunch over is the only anwer that does not lead to personal peril.


:popcorn: This should be interesting.

[rappites]

Ummm.....well, lets see here.


Sit. With babywipes.

[Gentlemen Death]

Somone else already posted this subject? Damn, oh well, i guess this does not need to continue. And know that i think about it, i am not sure i want it to continue:)

[neglet]

Well, you can't really "sit" and wipe, you have to lift at least one butt cheek. Which can be perilous when using a toilet that isn't fastened tightly on both sides--the lid slides to the weak side and gives you a nasty bump.

The problem with standing, though, is if you have a lot to wipe, you run the risk of it going elsewhere than on the paper or in the bowl. If it lands on the seat and you sit back down, that's big trouble right there.

My, this is a poser of a dilemma.

[Gentlemen Death]

This is intriguing stuff. I want to know more!!!!

[sickness]

Standing, bent over, reaching around, wiping front to back, careful not to rip off either of the two moles I've got growing down there.

[Gentlemen Death]

LMAO

Good one:lol:

[rappites]

Standing, bent over, reaching around, wiping front to back, careful not to rip off either of the two moles I've got growing down there.



You have that too? :eek:

[sickness]

Hey, it's the truth! I was the one (un)lucky enough of the three of us to get the skin outgrowth gene from my mom. Got moles and tags in some bad places. I've inadvertantly ripped of a dozen or so over the years and, let me tell you, it ain't fun.

[sickness]

Yep. Want a picture? :lol:

[rappites]

I hear ya. I have the same problem. You should see under my boobs.

[Al-Dog]

You know this why I love this forum. One moment you’re trying to solve the problems in the Middle East, the next you have a survey on how you wipe your ass.:lol:

[Al-Dog]

I hear ya. I have the same problem. You should see under my boobs.
OK. :popcorn:

[sickness]

I hear ya. I have the same problem. You should see under my boobs.
I say post a pic! :D

[rappites]

They are too heavy to lift by myself. I will have to wait until Outy is home.




I will pass on the pic there sicks. I have my own to look at.


Has anyone ever had anal bleaching?

[Al-Dog]

They are too heavy to lift by myself. I will have to wait until Outy is home.OK, I’ll ask since no one else will, just how big are your boobs if you need two people to lift them?


Has anyone ever had anal bleaching?Do I want to know what that is?

[rappites]

42 double D's.







Just joking.


Anal bleaching (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_bleaching)

Alot of strippers and the porn industry do it all the time.

[sickness]

Those must be some monster titties! ;)

[Metuzalem]

Is it wrong that I already knew what anal bleaching was?

[Space Tycoon]

Well... it doesn't help. :OhWell:






.

[Space Tycoon]

Oh, and it's standing for me.

Of course, as a trillionaire space tycoon I have a staff of ass-wipers on hand...so to speak... in all of the commodes situated in my luxury mansion.

They take care of that particular chore.

Of course they're all FHM amd Maxim models.







.

[Jakester]

Wow. If I were into scat, I'd be happy. But I'm pretty much at the other end of the spectrum, so I'm just gonna go hurl now.

[Outsydr]

May I ask just why the fuck you people are talking about my wife's breasts? You know, I work very hard on a shift that keeps me there through 11 pm. I'm tired when I get home. I don't have the surplus energy to lift something that large.

...


Hunched. So I suppose that's standing. I can't do it sitting down because I'm a big man in many ways who easily loses his balance when tilted.

[sickness]

Outy, that was fucking classic! :lol:

[Al-Dog]

May I ask just why the fuck you people are talking about my wife's breasts? You know, I work very hard on a shift that keeps me there through 11 pm. I'm tired when I get home. I don't have the surplus energy to lift something that large. No disrespect man (however, I’d like to point out she did bring the subject up first), but you’ve got to admit the thought of breast so large that it would take two people to lift them, well, you know. . .

It just boggles the mind.

[Gentlemen Death]

When breasts attack! That sounds like a good rental.

[Space Tycoon]

Wow. If I were into scat, I'd be happy. But I'm pretty much at the other end of the spectrum, so I'm just gonna go hurl now.

Well I wasn't serious or anything... :Tongue:





.

[tstone]

Yup, I'd rent it...probably buy it.

When breasts attack! That sounds like a good rental.

[Gentlemen Death]

Attack of the Killer Breasts......There has to be a porn movie or something like this that has been made, it is a classic name for a movie. B movie i remind you, or just porn.

On to poop. How come you can stand your own smell of poop, but anyone elses' makes you want to hurl?? (What, does your shit smell better then mine, well, does it!?!?!)

[rappites]

You have issues.


I will have Jakester send you the link to tubgirl. That will stop your fascination.

[Gentlemen Death]

I already had the unfortunate chance to see that ungodly site. And i try not to have issues, i really try.

[Natalie201]

I lean to one side.

I'm jealous...my breasts aren't big enough to need help lifting.

[Gentlemen Death]

:Smirk: That could be changed:Smirk:

[tstone]

Aren't they at least Cs? Big enough.\\:cool:

I lean to one side.

I'm jealous...my breasts aren't big enough to need help lifting.

[kah]

Hell, mine don't need to be lifted at all. :Dunno: I was rockin' a 34 DD when I was pregnant, but alas, those days are gone.

That's ok, though. My legs kick ass.

Literally, on occasion. :wink:

[Woodwraith]

Let's hope that ass was wiped before you go kicking it. Otherwise it'll surely leave a mark.

[kah]

:rolleyes:

What did I expect in the poop thread?

[fastcar]

bidet, mate!

kidding, standing room only, here.

[Natalie201]

36DD, natural. Big, but not huge. I mean, when I think of boobs that need help being lifted up, I think porno-huge. I'm kinda jealous.

[Jakester]

Nat, baby, you don't need any larger boobs. They're plenty fine. I'd like to see more of them, though.

[TrixieB]

Damn, and I thought mine were big! 38D here with no enhancements.

[fastcar]

I smell a boob off! CA First Annual Breast Appreciation Awards.

[neglet]

Well, as a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I'd like to remind you all that anything over a mouthful is wasted, anyway. :cool:

Although I know some guys (incuding my husband) don't mind small and perky. Actually, I think most guys are just grateful to get their hands on any breasts at all, so they're not that choosy. :D

[rappites]

Well, as a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee


LMAO!!!

Do you have a bumber sticker that says that? :lol:






:popcorn:

[Kaeos]

The letcherous voyeuristic male in me in facinated how this conversation has gone from

P-O-O-P

TO

B-O-O-B.


:popcorn:

[rappites]

We tend to do that a lot around here. I think I started the boob talk though. I am sorry.

Back on topic.

when you either a) sitting or B) laying down. . .do you lift a butt cheek to fart?


:)

[Kaeos]

http://mooreslore.corante.com/archives/images/larry%20the%20cable%20guy.jpg

[fastcar]

We tend to do that a lot around here. I think I started the boob talk though. I am sorry.

Back on topic.

when you either a) sitting or B) laying down. . .do you lift a butt cheek to fart?


:)

Yes, if you only want dogs to hear it.

[Al-Dog]

The letcherous voyeuristic male in me in facinated how this conversation has gone from

P-O-O-P

TO

B-O-O-B.


:popcorn:I was getting ready to say that’s a considerable improvement, but I guess I’m too late.

But to get back off topic; I’m a fan of small and perky, but big and bouncy is nice also. :)

[omicron]

Actually, I think most guys are just grateful to get their hands on any breasts at all, so they're not that choosy.


QFT. Boobies are great.

What did Ron White say? "You've seen one pair of boobs......you want to see them all." :lol:

Oh and I love to fart on my doggie's head as she cuddles up against my legs when she's sleeping at night. It's a tiny bit of revenge for her horrendous doggie farts. :)

[Gentlemen Death]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I am surprised that this topic has gone on as far as it has. I am not complaining, just interested. I thought this would easily be passed on as immature. Well since it isn't, then why dont we form the poop and boob commitee? I am sure they can be formed together for good, rather then evil.

[rappites]

LMAO. . . .

My brother farted on my head when he came home one night after drinking. I was sound asleep. Right in my damn ear.

and yes he was fully clothed. Damn dirty minded people.

[Gentlemen Death]

I wait for my girl to be asleep, then fart, and proceed to pull the cover over her head and wake her up with sudden touching of her nipples, she gets so mad, it is pure greatness:lol:

[rappites]

I would smack the shit out of you.


LMAO.....

[Gentlemen Death]

She usually does, and then i wonder why i do not get any sex for a week:headscratch:

[tstone]

Well, as a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I'd like to remind you all that anything over a mouthful is wasted, anyway. :cool:

Although I know some guys (incuding my husband) don't mind small and perky. Actually, I think most guys are just grateful to get their hands on any breasts at all, so they're not that choosy. :D


Then there are...other guys...

:Smirk:

And I've got a big mouth...

:eek:

:D

[Gentlemen Death]

Wait....what!?!?!:eek:

[rappites]

Where's Bill when you need him?

[Bill_the_Pony]

I'm sorry. :(

I've been down in the dumps lately. :(

[Bill_the_Pony]

I'm all for the use of a bidet, to get back on topic.

I wish I had one.

I have this thing about being squeaky clean.

:OhWell:

[Kaeos]

I'm sorry. :(

I've been down in the dumps lately. :(

You paint quite a picture my brother. :puke: :puke:

[Bill_the_Pony]

:mad: (stink eye)

[Kaeos]

:mad: (stink eye)


:eek:

"Balloon knot."

http://www.orbitcast.com/archives/george-takei.jpg

[Bill_the_Pony]

What's he doing here?! :eek: :mad:

[rappites]

I guess so he verify the balloon knot.

[kah]

:popcorn:

[Gentlemen Death]

Interesting that this guy is brought up in the poop thread......good times, good times.

[Bill_the_Pony]

http://www.excelsiornews.com/xboard/images/smiles/sprint.gif

[Natalie201]

I probably shouldn't share this. But my boyfriend makes fun of me because if I have to poot I will leave the room. I don't think people should do that in front of each other, it doesn't matter to me that we've been together 4 years, I don't want him to look over at me and say, "Aww, baby, that was a good one."

But he won't let me off the hook about it. He says that when I'm sleeping sometimes I let one out and he thinks it cute.

My friend Bridgette thinks it's unnatural to conceal it. Every time she does it she says, "ahh, it feels good!"

I have another friend who used to walk a couple of steps ahead of me and right before he'd do it he'd say, "Catch."

Vulgarity!

[Bill_the_Pony]

I probably shouldn't share this. But my boyfriend makes fun of me because if I have to poot I will leave the room. I don't think people should do that in front of each other, it doesn't matter to me that we've been together 4 years, I don't want him to look over at me and say, "Aww, baby, that was a good one."

But he won't let me off the hook about it. He says that when I'm sleeping sometimes I let one out and he thinks it cute.

My friend Bridgette thinks it's unnatural to conceal it. Every time she does it she says, "ahh, it feels good!"

I have another friend who used to walk a couple of steps ahead of me and right before he'd do it he'd say, "Catch."

Vulgarity!



I'm all for decorum. :) I hate it when co-workers (not at Starbucks, at that ridiculous office I do graphics at) let one go and then leave the room and wait for you to react. :mad: And of course they always laugh. :mad: :mad: Or when they leave the restroom a trainwreck. :eek: :mad:

So yeah, I'm all about good manners when it comes to that, leaving a clean restroom, etc. etc....you might even say that I'm ana......

:eek:

:o

[fastcar]

I wait for my girl to be asleep, then fart, and proceed to pull the cover over her head and wake her up with sudden touching of her nipples, she gets so mad, it is pure greatness:lol:


That's what they call, in these here parts, a Dutch Oven!





We used to play a game in high school called "SPIKE!" Some people call it "doorknob" or "safety."

If you blew ass, you had to say "SPIKE." If you didn't and were caught, someone yelled out an object and you had to get to that object. (Think of playing UNO and forgetting to say UNO when you're down to one card.) Getting to that object was the goal before being pummelled to death by the others.

Simple example.

Person A: "Pfffft" (forgets to yell SPIKE)
Person B: "Doorknob"
Person A: "Shit!" (Runs for the closest doorknob)

Then you have your hardcore players.

Person A: "Pfffft" (forgets to yell SPIKE)
Person B: "Low flying airplane"
Person A: "F*#k me sideways!" (Runs for dear life)




I was working back stage on a set for our musical my sophmore year. I was 20 feet up on a ramp and ripped one. I looked over the edge and one of my friends, Tony, looked up and smiled. "Doorknob." He said. He knew full well I had no easy way of getting down from my perch without breaking a few bones.

Tony turned the corner of the ramp and I took a leap of faith off the top of the ramp and landed with a thud, my knees buckling from the shock. He raced back down and ran towards me at top speed.

I then crawled to the door, reaching it, just as he was ready to start beating me. I never left myself without an exit plan ever again.

RIP Tony. The world is a darker place without ya.