Entertain me.

[spammityspam]

I'm bored. What can I do instead of laundry/cleaning my room/reading my Economics book?

[kah]

Read all of Slammy's (http://www.mania.com/forums/member.php?u=150) threads/posts.

Angry Alien (http://angryalien.com/)

Cats That Look Like Hitler (http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl)

[kah]

Uncyclopedia (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page)

[Gentlemen Death]

You could do backflips on to various sex objects......

[Space Tycoon]

You could stare at Alizee for awhile. Usually does it for me...



http://www.knifed.net/impute/Pictures/a/alizee_fapfap.gif









.

[Gentlemen Death]

Who is that???

[tstone]

There's Wikipedia. Although some have accused it of "liberal bias".

The usual crowd, and just the more extreme of them.

[Space Tycoon]

Who is that???

A popular singer huge in France a few years ago. She had this sexy Lolita thing going on, but she did it with a lot more class than the Britney-Cristina clones that get cranked out over here.

And she is a genuinely engaging performer, as well as beautiful:


Night Elf Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIdZDWpD0u0)






.

[TrixieB]

There's Wikipedia. Although some have accused it of "liberal bias".

The usual crowd, and just the more extreme of them.

If you really want some fun, check out Conservapedia!! (http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page) Always good for some laughs.

[Jakester]

Slammy's posts are genius.
However, I suggest you put your webcam to good use. You could uh...entertain yourself and entertain the rest of us at the same time.

[spammityspam]

...

Jake, you really are just about the creepiest thing ever. But I think it's why I like you.

SlamShut's posts were GENIUS. Especially the one with the link to Sex Education for "Trainables." Oh, the hilarity. Managed to put off cleaning my room and all my homework, though not, sadly, the laundry, mostly because I had run out of certain vital articles of clothing and it could actually not be put off any longer without being uncomfortable tomorrow.

And dang. That French chick has a fantastic ass. Just wow.

[Jakester]

The creep factor is a gift I like to share with the world.

[spammityspam]

Thanks ever so. Please never touch my nonexistent children.

Boredom haiku:
Dr. Showalter,
I will punch you in the crotch
If you don't shut up.

(About elasticity.)

Boredom tanka:
O Economics!
Business discipline of hell!
Please stop existing right now.
Thy shades pollute my
English-major heart.

Boredom limerick :
There was a young lass from Texas
Who during registration made quite a poor guess.
Economics she took,
'Twas pure gobbledygook,
And it'll take nine hours of Lit Intro to convalesce.

Lastly, boredom freeverse:

Softly, how sweetly
falls my text upon the flames of life?
falling
drifting
spinning
exploding
Burn not ye the texts! Sell ye the texts back to the co-op!
Do not put it in the microwave!
radiation poisoning!
I... expire.




All right, I'm done now.

[Al-Dog]

^ Wow, you really are an English major. Do you dress in all black and wear a beret?

[spammityspam]

Ummm. My sweater is black! But hats make me look like a mushroom, so no, no beret. I also do not smoke or write poetry in kitschy cafes. Or am alcoholic or... what else are writer cliches. Ummm. Do not live in a garret. Close, but no cigar.

I DO however make snide comments about my fellow man rather than attempt to solve societal crises! I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR!

[Jakester]

I can show you something that looks like a mushroom.

[spammityspam]

Fantastic! Put it away.

[Trazalca]

You're bored?
You're not even here a full 5 days, and you're bored already and demanding
to be entertained like Kah usually does once a month?
What are you, a Queen Bee ordering around us drones? New management?
You wanna be entertained? Go buy a ticket to a Broadway show,
and see Spring Awakenings so you can get all girlie over libidinous teenage angst
and relish in the tragedy of being misunderstood and alone in the world.
Or see Snow Patrol the next time they come into town so you can
weep at their bleeding-heart brilliance onstage.
Go play Tetris. Find a can, and kick it.
Try a few pages of Sudoku. Read Nietzsche.
Zone out listening to an iPod while your laundry goes into the spin cycle.
Entertain you? Did you just suddenly buy a balcony ticket
to sit behind the two old geezers at the muppet show?
What do you think this is? Moulin Freakin' Rouge?
And of all things, you're ON THE INTERNET with MILLIONS of
websites at your disposal, and you come here and ask us to be your sole amusement?
Have you suddenly lost your mind and assumed you were at a vaudeville show?
Do you see a red-white pinstriped jacket on me with a straw hat and cane to dance
for your pleasure? Did my name suddenly change to Red Buttons? Jack Benny?
Sid Caesar? Milton Berle? Lou Costello?
And what do you need to be entertained for? You're 18!
These days, just about anything can pass for entertainment with your age group.
This is a bulletin board. EVERYBODY here wants to be entertained.
It's like a virtual dance hall where the music is playing loud, but
everybody's too busy staring at their own shuffling feet to bother dancing.
Everyone is waiting for the other to do the entertaining.
Everyone is waiting for the other person to make the first move.
But guess what? You're new here.
So, if anybody should be doing the entertaining, tis you lady.
We know only enough about you as far as what your blog affords,
but beyond that, what do you do?
You're an English major! Wow! Your brain must be the size of Jakester's ego! Damn!
And when you graduate, my goodness!
Your cerebral magnificence will be oozing all over the place like Mt. Vesuvius on Pompeii , redefining the English language to such a degree,
Neglet would fight tooth and nail to get your work published.
But come on. English can't be your only forte.
Do you juggle? Can you multi-task? What's your typing speed?
If there was a petition to make Pluto considered a planet again, would you sign it?
Would you care? What's your shoe size? How do you like your pizza?
Would you gut a fish? Or must someone with a stronger character do that for you
for whenever you need that fix for your sushi kick?
Can you sing? Since you've shared your love of children to us,
can you read a kid's book aloud with just the right tonal inflections to make it interesting for the little tykes?
Can you change your voice to sound like Barney on queue?
Or Goofy? Or Donald Duck? Or how about sounding like a Mariachi band member
who's had one too many bean burritos during a smoke break from
playing La Cucaracha for the twelth time that evening?
Do you dance? Can't you get down and get funky with yo bad-self?
Is it HammerTime!? What? You do not own your
very own pair of poofed-up parachute pants?
Aren't you working on your next album? PLEASE SPAMMITY, DON'T HURT EM!
Oh I'm sorry. You're an intellectual.
Did your subscription to The New Yorker magazine suddenly run out?
Dying for another viewing of a Woody Allen film to help justify your
transcendental existence in an otherwise intellectually barren landscape
ridden with beer-swillers and dope monkeys?
What? No copy of Hannah & Her Sisters on hand?
No Crimes & Misdemeanors? No Purple Rose of Cairo?

No-no-no my dear lady. YOU entertain ME.

We've yet to see the moxy that you're made of.
What color baton do you twirl? What guitar god poster hangs on your closet door?
Eddie Van Halen? Steve Vai? John Lee Hooker?
You're darn fine with a limerick and quick with a witty haiku.
Tanka is a new one for me. I'll give you that.
But do you canoe? Know how to handle the oars when the waters get too choppy?
Can you make milk come out of your nose?
WHAT? Don't just sit there reading this senseless post. Do something!

Haven't you heard the Jeff Foxworthy joke yet?
As a married comedian directing his jibe at single people in his audience:
"YOU ARE ENTERTAINMENT FOR US!"

As you can see by my current avatar, I'm 39. I'm riding high and halfway
to diving six feet under a headstone. It's all a vicarious wave from here on out.
And since I'm too busy with the responsibilities of my life to have fun anymore,
you're my only outlet for arbitrary beguilement, so ante-up. I'm not getting
any younger here. The clock's a-ticking.

Amuse me. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phKBMty-Nuc) :coffee:

[TrixieB]

Damn... I love Traz rants!!

[chemikillgod]

And of all things, you're ON THE INTERNET with MILLIONS of
websites at your disposal, and you come here and ask us to be your sole amusement?

I think I've reached the end of the internet and have seen basically everything there is to see on it. It's depressing.

[spammityspam]

I apologize.

[Metuzalem]

Best. Rant. Ever.

I. Fucking . Love. Traz.

[Trazalca]

Ah forgettaboudit. You're a very sweet and intelligent lady.
Boredom sucks. If only you could look back at all the crazy crap
we've invented around here to stave it off before the boards were rebooted. :Smirk:

Ecclesiastes 11:9 "Be happy...while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth..."

[Metuzalem]

The boards are getting re-booted? You mean someone might actually catch Rapps' postcount? :eek:

[spammityspam]

Boredom does suck. Especially when you're pathologically shy in a new city with 12 new hours of free time per day. I seriously have no idea how I'm going to continue filling up my day. Unless, as suggested, I start kicking cans... provided I can find one. (Damn environmentalist town stealing my fun!)

Oh, bible verses. My favorite. I do actually like Ecclesiastes though. S'pretty.

[rappites]

The boards are getting re-booted? You mean someone might actually catch Rapps' postcount? :eek:

Jealous much. Don't hate. Love me because I love you so much.


:p

[kah]

You can hate me instead. I can take it. In fact, I thrive on your hatred. It's like a drug to me. Bring on the hate, Tuz. http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/teu42.gif

And when you finish with that, you can make me a sandwich.

[Gentlemen Death]

Me too, please.....:D

[fastcar]

http://static.flickr.com/113/293562775_a89d9993fe_o.jpg



CRAAPPP! Play me off Johnny.

[Gentlemen Death]

Why read a book when you could get the cliff notes online......Books are stupid and people who read smell like mold
and people who eat beans smell like ass
and people who smile are ugly
and people who fart are the most comfortable with farting in there pants, because that is what you are doing....
and the people who appreciate freedom of speech are probably animal killers.....

This was not supposed to make sense, so try not to over anal-ize it, okay.....Sick, weirdos.....

[SinisterPryde]

Boredom is the first sign of a lack of imagination! :D

I never get bored.

Well, except that time I was waiting for my mom to come out of the store. All I had was a piece of gum and some matches.

[Metuzalem]

You can hate me instead. I can take it. In fact, I thrive on your hatred. It's like a drug to me. Bring on the hate, Tuz. http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/teu42.gif

And when you finish with that, you can make me a sandwich.

Swap the word "hate" for the word "fcuk" and you have a deal. Although, I don't know what "thrive on the fuckred" means yet. Give me a chance, I'm still working on it.

What kind of sandwich you want?

[Al-Dog]

Boredom does suck. Especially when you're pathologically shy in a new city with 12 new hours of free time per day. I seriously have no idea how I'm going to continue filling up my day. Unless, as suggested, I start kicking cans... provided I can find one. (Damn environmentalist town stealing my fun!)

Oh, bible verses. My favorite. I do actually like Ecclesiastes though. S'pretty.Need entertainment? How about a little assignment?

Since you live in Austin, see if you can get a picture of Harry Knowles wife. I’m just dieing to know what she look like.

[Trazalca]

Need entertainment? How about a little assignment?

Since you live in Austin, see if you can get a picture of Harry Knowles wife. I’m just dieing to know what she look like.

Now that's one bit of knowledge I can do without.
I really do not want to imagine it. :OhWell:

[Metuzalem]

Jealous much. Don't hate. Love me because I love you so much.


:p

D'awwwwwwww, you knows I have much love for you too babe :D

[spammityspam]

Who's Harry Knowles? And I am so on that.

...once I get a camera.

[Al-Dog]

Who's Harry Knowles? And I am so on that.

...once I get a camera. http://www.romm.org/conv05/conv063005_13.jpg

Head geek at “Ain’t it cool news”.

I just want to see the woman that finds him attractive.

[chemikillgod]

Who's Harry Knowles? And I am so on that.

...once I get a camera.

Oh you're so cute! You're still quite a noob on the internet media circuit, or circus, depending on how you look at it. :-p Anyway, Harry is the guy who runs Aintitcoolnews. Big guy with red hair and beard. I always have this idea of the guy running around Austin self-promoting himself but if you don't know him maybe he really just sits in his basement compound with his 'wife'.

Ah yes.

[spammityspam]

I've been in Austin less than a month, so he could very well be running around. And... I don't like to judge, but he's married? I mean, I'm not a fatophobe. But wow.

The hair, I think, is really what just caps it off. I shall endeavor to look for him. Damn, I think I just missed his birthday-thon thing! Well, I'll still be here in December.

And yes. I am a n00b. I really, really am. My mom did this thing where she was convinced she could train me out of following in my dad's footsteps and becoming a giant nerd. Someday I will probably regale you all (i.e. rant crazily about) finishing school, but for now we're going to save that because I don't want to start frothing in the middle of Ecology. Anyway, it all culminated in my not having pretty much any access to the darker sides of the 'Net, comic books, sci-fi/fantasy in most of its forms or any movie that was not reviewed in the New Yorker until... last summer, if I remember correctly. I still have never played a video game more complicated than Super Mario Bros. (which, by the way, I kick ass at).

So if you have any questions? ^ THAT IS WHY.

[Al-Dog]

I've been in Austin less than a month, so he could very well be running around. And... I don't like to judge, but he's married? I mean, I'm not a fatophobe. But wow. Come on, you can say it; he’s gross.

The hair, I think, is really what just caps it off. I shall endeavor to look for him. Damn, I think I just missed his birthday-thon thing! Well, I'll still be here in December.But on the other hand, he appears to host to some pretty geek-cool events in Austin.

I just wouldn’t want to stand down wind of him.

And yes. I am a n00b. I really, really am. My mom did this thing where she was convinced she could train me out of following in my dad's footsteps and becoming a giant nerd. Someday I will probably regale you all (i.e. rant crazily about) finishing school, but for now we're going to save that because I don't want to start frothing in the middle of Ecology. Anyway, it all culminated in my not having pretty much any access to the darker sides of the 'Net, comic books, sci-fi/fantasy in most of its forms or any movie that was not reviewed in the New Yorker until... last summer, if I remember correctly. I still have never played a video game more complicated than Super Mario Bros. (which, by the way, I kick ass at).

So if you have any questions? ^ THAT IS WHY.Mom shouldn’t try to suppress the inner geek. There’s’ no telling how it might eventually come out.

[chemikillgod]

And yes. I am a n00b. I really, really am. My mom did this thing where she was convinced she could train me out of following in my dad's footsteps and becoming a giant nerd. Anyway, it all culminated in my not having pretty much any access to the darker sides of the 'Net, comic books, sci-fi/fantasy in most of its forms or any movie that was not reviewed in the New Yorker until... last summer, if I remember correctly.

Actually, this board is a good introduction in the ways of geekery and hey, we're all nice people (usually, heh). There's other boards out there that would tear you up if you even hint of ignorance of anything that 'everyone should know about already' which is doubly stupid. And everyone has their own brand of geekdom or nerddom anyway. It's just a matter of being exposed to other things that you didn't realize was out there.

[Jakester]

Al,
Fatboy landed some 18 year old (or 19, I'm not sure) chick. If you can find his myspace page, she's his #1 friend. I'm too lazy to go dig it up.

Edit: she's 20 now and her pic is on his myspace (http://www.myspace.com/aintitcool) page.

[chemikillgod]

Al,
Fatboy landed some 18 year old (or 19, I'm not sure) chick. If you can find his myspace page, she's his #1 friend. I'm too lazy to go dig it up.

Edit: she's 20 now and her pic is on his myspace (http://www.myspace.com/aintitcool) page.

Oh jesus. She looks normal and cute. What in the hell. How does he even get to perform the act-that-must-not-be-named-when-talking-about-Harry? Just, no.

Edit: Okay, maybe he's just really really cool with an awesome personality. Or something. It's not right to judge someone because they look like a leprechaun Santa. We're not all from the cast of the 300. At the same time, Harry did go off on Claire's regenerating virginity so he does have the ick factor going against him.

[rappites]

I like his song that he has on his "space".

[Lavoruis]

You could always recite Bloody Mary" in a a empty old house.
at night. and see what happenes

[Al-Dog]

Oh jesus. She looks normal and cute. What in the hell. How does he even get to perform the act-that-must-not-be-named-when-talking-about-Harry? Just, no. :Dunno: Some things just ain’t right

Edit: Okay, maybe he's just really really cool with an awesome personality. Or something. It's not right to judge someone because they look like a leprechaun Santa. We're not all from the cast of the 300. At the same time, Harry did go off on Claire's regenerating virginity so he does have the ick factor going against him.There isn’t that much personality in the world, he must be making a hell of lot more money then I gave him credit for.

[spammityspam]

You'd be surprised how much slack girls will give in the physical department, you know. We're just not as hung up on it naturally. It's biomologicalalalal. Not sayin' I'd hit that, but I've had really bad crushes on people who were most definitely at the back of the line when the pretty got handed out. There is that much personality.

Consider: when Caveman Joe looks for a woman, what does he want to see? Some healthy chick to bear him stout sons in order to see that his genes are carried forth, preferably with childbearing hips and large breasts to feed thousands of kids. However, Cavewoman Jane is looking for someone to hunt down the mastadons when she's nine months pregnant -- and while the best physical specimen would hunt down the most, he's not going to stick around. Some fugly guy who's going to stand by you is still preferable to a hot one who'll dash off after Cavegirl Betty-Sue when you hit 30 (or I guess in Caveland, 16.) Or, for some, one who can buy the mastodons. Either way. We can feel the same way y'all feel about Alizee's ass, but about a sense of humor or loyalty (or a wallet, in some cases).

My genetic theory is just bulletproof, isn't it?

[Al-Dog]

I agree to a certain extent. Women can get past the looks easier than guys.

But there is fugly and then there is mutant Jabba-the-hut ugly.

If Mr. Knowles wasn’t semi-famous, that girl wouldn’t give him a second glance.

[rappites]

Plus, geeks/nerds/dorks know how to please a woman. They like to go downtown. Guys that are hung up on their looks are only aware of what they need.

[Jakester]

Would you want that going downtown?

[rappites]

If he did it right.

[Trazalca]

:poke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[spammityspam]

Plus, geeks/nerds/dorks know how to please a woman. They like to go downtown. Guys that are hung up on their looks are only aware of what they need.

Very, very, very valid point.

And I guess... maybe if he was downtown... you wouldn't have to look at him. Tape a poster of [Hot Person of Your Choice] to your ceiling and make do?

[Trazalca]

There you go. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG7S0oMwr7k)

[spammityspam]

That's what they allll say.

[Jakester]

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cca-cK9xuhk)
A slightly different version of one of my favourite tunes.

I thought I could embed this, but apparently not.

[spammityspam]

That was... fabulous.

[Gentlemen Death]

Girls like guys with looks just as much as guys like girls with good looks....It goes both ways, you dig?

[spammityspam]

Well... no, not really. At least to my experience.

I mean, yeah, duh. Everyone likes hot people. But really and truly, it doesn't matter as much to girls. It's not the end-all beat-all. We, on the whole, are not going to follow some jerk around for months just because he's hot. There are other things. Obviously there are other things for guys too, but it's more even across the board for girls.

[chemikillgod]

Well... no, not really. At least to my experience.

We, on the whole, are not going to follow some jerk around for months just because he's hot.

You (all) might fuck him first though before you notice the shy nerdy kid sitting in the back. :Tongue: Ha.

[spammityspam]

Well, yes, but we're AWARE of that!

Most of the time!

Anyway, we figure it out.

...Most of the time!

Anyway, a decent percentage don't even screw the hot guy in the first place. We ogle the shy kid in the back of the class but, gasp, the universe is cruel, we are also shy.

[Bill_the_Pony]

http://a124.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/2/l_3233f5971322877f9db7ac42edccf9e3.gif

:)

[Gentlemen Death]

Well... no, not really. At least to my experience.

I mean, yeah, duh. Everyone likes hot people. But really and truly, it doesn't matter as much to girls. It's not the end-all beat-all. We, on the whole, are not going to follow some jerk around for months just because he's hot. There are other things. Obviously there are other things for guys too, but it's more even across the board for girls.

Well...In MY experience it is the exact opposite of what you just said. You just about always hear girls say," Oh, look at his abs." or,"Oh, look at his ass."

Like I said, it goes both ways just about the same. And IMO, girls are far more picky then guys....I mean, I do not want to get into details, but there is stuff I could discuss that would verify that....

[fastcar]

Consider: when Caveman Joe looks for a woman, what does he want to see? Some healthy chick to bear him stout sons in order to see that his genes are carried forth, preferably with childbearing hips and large breasts to feed thousands of kids.

Cavewoman Jane is looking for someone to hunt down the mastadons when she's nine months pregnant -- and while the best physical specimen would hunt down the most, he's not going to stick around.


Caveman Jake just looks for a pulse.....















most of the time.

[spammityspam]

The thing, GD, is that we say that. We don't act on it 100% or even most of the time. The girls I know have the magic ability to mentally separate eye candy from people we'd actually date, which isn't a power I see in most guys. I think for us there just must be less of a halo effect around beautiful people.

[Kaeos]

It's been a veeeery long time since I've had to deal with the pain of dating and trying to create romantic relationships, but even back then it was obvious to me that a girl's "choice" of men very much depended on her own self image.

I don't care what they "say" if she has a high self worth and a high opinion of her own looks, then 99% of the time she will not go for anyone even remotely close to the category Harry Knowles fits into.

Now, what's important here is her own self image. There are plenty of females out there who are smokin hot (Mrs. K included) whom walked around in high school with a low self opinion and didn't really give themselves credit for looking good. What other people may think about her is genreally irrelevant. If she doesn't see it, it's not there.

Aside from a slightly bigger nose than I need, I happen to be incredibly hot for my age, and back in high school my Jesus Christ Rock Star hair sealed the deal. I dated plenty of girls that were really beautiful, they just didn't realize it. Whenever a good looking guy would hit on them, they rejected them because it was automatically assumed they only wanted sex. Which was paritally true, but hey - it was 1993 whaddya want? Point is, the girls didn't think they were wanted for their looks.

Bottom line, and using the 1 to 10 scale for reference it goes like this:

If a girl is an 8 and thinks she's an 8 or better, she will never go for a guy lower than a 7 (in her eyes) or a 6 if she's got an agenda.

If a girl is an 8 and doesn't know it, she will likely date down to a 4 or 5.

If there is enough alchohol present, the numbers become largely irrelevant.:D

[kah]

I've dated moderately hot guys and I've dated trolls. Looks only matter so far as they don't turn you off. I have never dated a hot, hot guy because hot guys are ass-holes. End of story.

[kah]

Tuz- I want a muffelata.

[Jakester]

Are you saying that I'm an asshole, Kah?

[omicron]

Tuz- I want a muffelata.

What a coincidence, I am actually making muffalettas this weekend. Prosciutto Cotto, Genoa salami and provolone with the olive relish made out of chopped Kalamata, herb marinated green olives and garlic stuff green olives; all piled on a soft Bruschetta-like bread. http://forums.keeptouch.net/images/smilies/drool.gif

[kah]

Yes, Jake, that is exactly what I am saying. :rolleyes:

Omi- I'm half tempted to get in the car and drive on down just for a sandwich.

[spammityspam]

Hot guys really are. Or dangerously insane.

[Kaeos]

Hot guys really are.(assholes) Or dangerously insane.


Guilty as charged. :Smirk:

[omicron]

Omi- I'm half tempted to get in the car and drive on down just for a sandwich.

ROADTRIP!! Leave the kid and the shirt at home and come on down to Big D! :Eyebrow:

[kah]

:lol: I'll get right on that.

[Trazalca]

ROADTRIP!! Leave the kid and the shirt at home and come on down to Big D! :Eyebrow:

:lol: I'll get right on that.

Wow. Just, wow.
That's a level of flirting I can only watch from afar, like a firework in the night sky.

:rolleyes:

[neglet]

Bottom line, and using the 1 to 10 scale for reference it goes like this:

If a girl is an 8 and thinks she's an 8 or better, she will never go for a guy lower than a 7 (in her eyes) or a 6 if she's got an agenda.

If a girl is an 8 and doesn't know it, she will likely date down to a 4 or 5.

See, and it's pretty much the same with hot guys--if he's an 8 or better and knows it (and most of them do), then you know he's a complete asshole. They just have this attitude around them like they think they're better than you, just because they're hot. Who wants to deal with that shit? I'd rather have a man who's grateful to be with me. (That's why nerds make the best husbands--they're reliable and they're grateful.)

Of course, that's not to say that if one of those hot assholes puts the moves on a girl that she'll be able to resist. It's awfully flattering. Still, those guys don't compare to a hot guy (8+) who doesn't have the attitude and truly doesn't know how hot he is. I once worked with a guy like that--looked a little like Matthew McConaughey, but with curly blond hair. He had absolutely no attitude, and it took me two weeks to stop thinking "he's beautiful" every time I saw him and just consider it as background noise.

[SinisterPryde]

I've never thought much about how I look nor really cared about how hot a woman is, since physical beauty is subjective, anyway. My first wife was a six, in my estimation, while my second was an 8. My current GF would rate as a 7. But I've been down to 4 (being generous), although I've never been above 8.

My point is, though, while I don't think I'm gorgeous, I don't believe I am ugly, either. As for women, I like spirit and intelligence, with a dose of independence. No matter what she looks like.

And just to show I am not a saint, nor immune to some bias, I don't think I could be with a woman who was grotesquely over-weight, no matter her personality.

[Trazalca]

It's funny that my wife & I think of each other as an 8 or above, but
regarding how we look at ourselves, it wouldn't get past a 5 or 6.
I'm glad it's like that. Who needs the vanity trip from someone who
thinks they've earned our attention by their looks?

And after 9 years of marriage, my wife still rocks the casbah in my book. :D
Even after having 4 kids, she amazes me. :)

[Metuzalem]

Tuz- I want a muffelata.

Would you like fries with that?

I'll chip in here and say that you are all right. I mean you're all talking about personal experience. And for that reason alone you are all correct in what you are saying.

However.

There are still a lot of enigmas out there. Rapps says that guys who are into their looks only care about themselves in the bedroom and aren't particularly interested in going downtown? I think it's fair to say I care a lot about my looks - not to the point of vanity or narcissism mind you - just to the point where I care a lot about how people think of me and I love heading downtown. Some nights I can't get enough. In fact I would rather be good at that than have a girl go downtown with me. It's not bullshit, it's fact. It's genetics man.
But then again, maybe I feel I have to try uber hard to impress a girl and that's why I make such an effort downstairs. Why do I feel I need to impress? Maybe because I think I'm a 3?

[Al-Dog]

Most of us would agree that say, Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey, or Denzel Washington are probably 9s or 10s (just dealing with looks here). Knowles is a 2 or 3 (being generous).
What I find difficult to determine are that the rankings between 4-8. To me that entire area is kind of vague. For example, where would someone like Jack Black or Jim Carrey fit on the scale?
What celebrity would be considered a solid 8? A definite 5 or 6? Since 5 is right in the middle I guess that would be average. Would Edward Norton be a 5? He seems pretty average in looks to me. So all of you people who consider yourself 8s, are you better looking than Ed Norton, but not as nice looking as Brad Pitt?

[Jakester]

From either the Interview with the Vampire or Fight Club era, I'd go gay for Brad.

[spammityspam]

Meh. He's a little too pretty, I think.

Isn't it weird how when people start discussing celebrities, attractiveness becomes so much harder to gauge? Like, if Sarah Jessica Parker, for instance, was wandering around in the mall as a normal person, she'd be really pretty. But when she's on the screen next all the most beautiful people on the planet everyone's like HORSE FACE.

[Jakester]

Oh no...HORSE FACE at the mall, too.

I would like to say that your vlogs on the main site are very entertaining. I'm not especially easily entertained by women with their clothes on, so be proud of your achievement.

[chemikillgod]

Oh no...HORSE FACE at the mall, too.

No fucking shit. Sarah Jessica Parker is only presentable because of the makeup caked on her face in front of the cameras. Otherwise, she should be hiding in a barn receiving regular whippings. And not the good kind.

[Gentlemen Death]

I like to have sex with women....end of story....:D

[spammityspam]

Aww, thanks, man! I feel special now. Especially because I go back and rewatch them and think how did I think this was amusing??

Okay, okay, bad example. Drew Barrymore, maybe. My guyfriends all think she's a lardass, but if SHE were in the mall or talking to any of them, it'd be a different story. Right?

I looked SJP up on imagesearch and damn. It's been a long time since I've watched Sex and the City, and I tend to fuzz people more attractive in my memory, but... damn. Someone stick a nosebag on that girl and saddle her up, she's not doin' much good on the silver screen.

[Jakester]

Okay, Drew's a better choice, maybe.
Conversely, there are a bunch of celebs who I wouldn't look at twice were they in a mall, but give them 2k worht of makeup and some airbrushing, and they become HOT.

Lohan's got LOTS of freckles (nice bod, though), and allegedly, Cameron Diaz has a really horrible complexion, f'erinstance.

[spammityspam]

I think Cameron Diaz is kinda funny-lookin', honestly. I'm not sure why. She just sets my teeth on edge.

Could be how she's a complete idiot. Oh well. I like Lindsay Lohan's freckles! Freckles are cute. What, I ask, is wrong with freckles?

[SinisterPryde]

Sarah Jessica Parker is annoying and needs to be cast in a Mr. Ed movie.

Drew Barrymore is too... precocious.

Give me Fairuza Balk, Mia Kirshner, or Clea Duvall and I'll be happy :D

BTW, Sandra Berhard, Rosie O'Donnel, and Pam Anderson are all below 5 in my estimation.

[Woodwraith]

What, I ask, is wrong with freckles?

There is nothing wrong with freckles. I've met some really pretty girls with freckles.

[Jakester]

My point is more that in many pictures of Lohan, her freckles are airbrushed out.

[kah]

Lohan's a half-wit skankbag.

I don't use the number system. I like to give "personality insults."

[Jakester]

And again, I agree with Kah. She does have nice boobs, though.
I'd like to think that Kah also has nice boobs, but I can't confirm since she selfishly refuses to share them with me.

[kah]

Lohan does have nice boobs. It's too bad they hang right below that disaster of a face.

[Gentlemen Death]

When you go into room or on a bus, you know that one person who smells really weird. Not B.O smell, but a smell that indicates that they have not washed down there for awhile??

Well, she seems like she has a smelly fire-crotch, like she sweats a lot down there, you know?...That is all I was trying to convey...:D

[Bill_the_Pony]

I think I'll just go over to the next thread here.... http://a948.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/57/m_580714110a6d0e3e6f041cbd8f2034f3.gif

[SinisterPryde]

"It smells like pussy!













...I think."

-George Takei The Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner
:D

[Gentlemen Death]

I think I'll just go over to the next thread here.... http://a948.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/57/m_580714110a6d0e3e6f041cbd8f2034f3.gif

Oh, come on Bill....Come back and we can talk about mold.....Yeah, mold....

[Bill_the_Pony]

I think I'll just go over to the next thread here.... http://a948.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/57/m_580714110a6d0e3e6f041cbd8f2034f3.gif


Oh, come on Bill....Come back and we can talk about mold.....Yeah, mold....























http://a320.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/55/m_b307042630be8873b8c47a150a912caf.gif









































!

[Gentlemen Death]

Oh, Bill...I promise it is safe.....:rolleyes:

[omicron]

Speaking of Harry Knowles

http://a168.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/77/l_24956574b56a4641f2bd3c172ab35a17.jpg


A-yikes! :confused:

[kah]

She looks like she's 15 and he looks like he lives under a bridge.

[spammityspam]

God, seriously. That's... a lot of personality.

[rappites]

They will make pretty babies.

[Al-Dog]

They will make pretty babies.
Figuring out the logistics and mechanics of them "doing the deed" would require an advanced degree in physics.

[Trazalca]

Ah, but the real question is, when you consider this thread's thematic purpose:

is Spammity really entertained by all this?

:headscratch:

[Al-Dog]

You mean she wouldn’t be entertained by the thought of Harry and his bride on their honeymoon?

I’m sure she’s saving her money so that she can get a copy of their sex tape when it hits the internet.

[kah]

:puke:

[Trazalca]

Is it my imagination? Or is puke shooting out of that smiley's eyes?


:puke:


Now that IS entertaining. :Smirk:

[spammityspam]

My fall disbursement is definitely going towards surveillance equipment and a night-vision-filtered camcorder. One Night in Paris, prepare to be swept from the charts of shittily-produced amateur porn.

You know I think that smiley is puking from its eyes. It's projectile-crying little tears of vomit. How cute!

[chemikillgod]

Harry needs to go on Extreme Makeover, er, the HOME edition. And I mean the episodes where they completely demolish the entire infrastructure.

You know, if he, of all people, can find someone, then by God and hell, anyone can.

[spammityspam]

As long as they're famous and male.

[Jakester]

Everyone wants me.

[Trazalca]

Everyone wants me.

Presumably. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoJbQUMttew)

[Gentlemen Death]

Presumably. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoJbQUMttew)

That made me want to snap my fingers and clap my hands!!!:cool:

[rappites]

Don't hurt yourself.

[Gentlemen Death]

You know what Rappites......You make me fart!:D

[kah]

I love Billy Squier.


I know that makes me lame. :(

[Trazalca]

I love Billy Squier.


I know that makes me lame. :(

For listening to his music? No.
For dressing like him, and/or having his hair? Yes. :Smirk:

[kah]

He's also a tragically awful dancer.

[neglet]

I'm clearing out of here while the image of Kah singing "The Stroke" is wafting about. I don't want to get splashed.

[Gentlemen Death]

I like getting wet....:cool:

[Lavoruis]

www.grimmy.com