"I Hate Christmas Thread"

[Bill_the_Pony]

I make NO apologies when I say the holdays are stupid, stupid, STUPID.

WHERE to begin?! :mad:

How about HERE?!

TD4g0gmQSLk

SERIOUSLY. I would curl up in fetal position if I lived next door to THAT shit. Are there speakers hooked up outside this guy's house? If so, the same John-Tesh-esque air pudding playing over and over and over and over would make me go into a seizure. http://a853.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/60/l_03bdb65773b3ed52f03793f3e96baa24.gif Not to mention the flashing lights. What happens in Vegas needs to STAY in Vegas! :mad:

And the size of lawn decorations in supersized Amerika....

http://www.missoulian.com/celebrations/art/snowtree.jpg

That's just to get the ball rolling. Feel free to "chime" in. :rolleyes:

Me, I've only started. :mad:

[UNCLEagent]

I just stopped off at Fred Meyer on the way home to buy my Christmas lights. I'm using the C7 ceramic bulbs this year.

Nothing celebrates the birth of a Deity's offspring better than C7 bulbs.

[UNCLEagent]

Besides, if it wasn't for the Holidays, we wouldn't have the Eggnog Lattes. I celebrate the Season of the Savior by savoring a Venti Eggnog Latte at least once a week.

[Bill_the_Pony]

I think there should be an I love Christmas Thread. But I'm not going to start it. :mad:

Starbucks is one of the reasons, I'm hatin' on the holidays so much. :mad: :mad:

[spammityspam]

I love the holidays, but I don't work in the kind of retail where they matter. (I also think the guy with the lights is way cool. I don't think they're hooked up all the time... or, at least, I hope not.)

Bill, you're just hating on everything lately. I think the holidays are just present and therefore convenient. Let the love of baby Jesus into your heart!

[Lavoruis]

Your forgot Festivus, Pony!
Don't forget the airing of grievanceness
and the feats of strengths
Don't foregot the Festivus silver pole

[Jakester]

Any day when I can get a blowjob is a pretty damn good holiday in my book.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Bill, you're just hating on everything lately. I think the holidays are just present and therefore convenient. Let the love of baby Jesus into your heart!


:confused:


:Dunno:

[mckracken]

I make NO apologies when I say the holdays are stupid, stupid, STUPID.

WHERE to begin?! :mad:

That's just to get the ball rolling. Feel free to "chime" in. :rolleyes:

Me, I've only started. :mad:

Bill, relax, if i thought that was real for one second then i would have played the vid multiple times to check... I think its fake.

its a good piece of animation set to music after the fact, but not for one second do I beleive its for real...nobody walks inbetween the house and the camera for the entire duration of that song??? where are the neighbors? the cops? no... its fake.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Christmas has nothing to do with Christ or any other deity, pagan or otherwise. All it is, is a yearly celebration of greed, perverse and materialistic. There's no depth to it, I feel no spirit. just hypocrisy. There's nothing "Christ-like" about any of it.

And I DO work in a retail establishment that like so many others works us like dogs with no extra compensation for it, to extract as much money from all of you as possible while shoving the a facade of "cheer" and "joy" down so many throats. What fucking twaddle. A Christmas retail set-up in early October? Christmas Carols before Halloween?

It's a fucking joke, and again, I invite any of you to create an I Love Christmas Thread.

[Sgt. Awesome]

Christmas I don't mind so much... mostly because I make commission on expensive items that are usually on people's Christmas lists. iPods, digital cameras.... etc. So I can not be mad at christmas, just like I cannot be anti 2010.

Boxing day... boxing day I can fear and loathe though...


EDIT: Oh... and I went carolling for Halloween a few years back... we dressed up in Santa hats and went from door to door singing carols. It was awesome.

[Nostromo]

Nothing wrong with celebrating a "non" commercial Christmas. Have some special meals ... do something nice for a family member or friend. Sling turkey at the local mission / shelter or adopt a family from your local food bank. That's the spirit. N:)

[UNCLEagent]

In recent years, I've come to hate the season. The season, to me means family. Years ago, when newly married - it meant flying to the midwest for the big, annual family get together with all the in-laws. Since they all lived within driving distance from each other - it was no big for them. They always had each other, so it wasn't anything new or unusual - it was all they knew.

Growing up - it was always just me, my mom and dad, and sis (bro came along when I was much older). My mother always told me of the "curse" of our family disfunction and how she hated it. How she hated the controlling inlaws, not to mention her own. 'That' is why we moved across the world, she would tell me when I got older.

So I never knew the Mayberry experience. Never missed it.

But when I was married, it was literally thrust upon me. BIG family - BIG control issues. Not only did it all freak me out and overwhelm me - I HATED IT. My ex's mom was a major manipulative, domineering type. Loud, opinionated. But a beautiful, loving, warm heart. She would always throw herself onto us - God how I would shudder and recoil. And those huge family get togethers. How I would dread those flights to Iowa!

All my life - I lived alone. I learned how to do it very well. And when I was unhappily married, I missed being alone. Huge family gatherings creeped me out. When families get together, dysfunction surfaces and you feel like if you get too close, it will contaminate you.

So you stay away and use lots of Sani-wipes.

Then, in just the past four years, my mother-in-law died. Then, I divorced. Then my mom died. Then my dad died. During the period that most of this was happening, I allowed just one person to get very close into my life - much closer than even my wife had ever allowed herself to. I don't know how or why, but suddenly for the first time in my life and especially since meeting this person - being alone equated 'loneliness'.

I used to thrive on being alone. Now - it all feels different. I hate it. Being alone means that my son, my ex-wife and I all gather for the holidays and support one another and bring cheer to one another. My ex and I both have families that require transcontinental transport. I have more than once, this past few years honestly suggested we relocate to the midwest and start life fresh. NOT with each other, but in trying to find the things in life that truly matter - family (even if they are in-laws!). She recoiled in horror, once again maintaining that there was (is) a reason she placed three time zones between herself and them.

It is so cliche, and I am tired of it. I know too many people who will comment how much they do not 'care' for their family; how much they dread the gatherings - the noise - the dysfunction - the kids. I hear it from so many of my friends, and many of them are downright serious. The have legitimate reasons for their hurts and discomfort. Some go deeper than others. But still.....

I miss the dysfunction. The hurts. The stabs. The hugs. The drunkenness. The bad jokes.

That's what families do.

I don't know if I've learned anything much really, in life. Nothing that I can use. It seems all the lessons I am learning are bad ones. "Don't trust anybody." "People will betray you." and "You can count only on yourself. Period."

What I have sadly discovered, is that if you try to keep yourself from those things that you find uncomfortable: the stabbings; the dysfunction; the hurt; the controlling, you get nothing. Nada.

Familes are what they are. You can't pick them. They aren't optional. They just are. So unless Uncle Billy is doing something very bad in the backroom with the kiddies, I say, celebrate the dysfuction. Put on your best coat of armor and get muddy! Bring on the snide commenst and let 'em roll! If they pierce, bring plenty of Bactine! Grow a pair and be fucking thankful that you haven't sanitzed your life. Build those immunities and celebrate those infections. Live.

The careful exclusion of dysfunction will not be greeted, I promise you - with Good Things. It's not like you now have all this room inside you, all neatly cleaned out to start packing in the Good Stuff of your choosing. All you get is a clean, empty room.

And that is why I hate the Holidays. It's a choreographed celebration of 'Family'. It's the millions of Hallmark moments that are flashed before our eyes. It's the staging of a loved one's adoring eyes as you hand her a $1499 tennis bracelet from Sears (use you Sears charge card in the next 72 hours and get an additional 15% off). It's the staged extacy of little Suzy and Davy unwrapping the equivalent of three arces of trees in wrapping paper. And it's the montage of people all smiling, singing and embracing in the spirit of a politically correct "Holiday Buying Season". It's the staging and choreography of fake families, fake gatherings and fake love that is blitzed before us in every possible advertising venue. It's all an illusion that is played over and over in an ever expanding buying season.

It's hard to fight the bombardment of the imagery and to focus on what you do have.

I will be spending it again with my ex and my son. She would never get close to me in our marriage, but she has become my best friend these past few years and I trust her above all. She is my family, and I will celebrate being with family. My family.

And my ceramic Christmas bulbs.

[spammityspam]

Bill, of course there's nothing Christlike about Christmas. I was being sarcastic. But that doesn't mean you have to hate it.

I always kind of hate elements of it, like every time I go into a bookstore or Target there's wild-eyed suburban mothers shoving me into display cabinets, but most of it I really like. I like Christmas carols; I think they're fun. I like getting presents. I actually really like giving presents. It's something I've always been good at and it's a good outlet for the crazy mothering instinct that pops up every now and then. I like to cook and bake and I love the constant availability of fat and sugar, and even if it's bad for my waistline, everyone else is gaining five or ten Christmas pounds with me. It's not about celebrating love or joy or family or some intangible concept of a God -- it's a party month.

Gotta say, though, I wish when I tell customers "Happy holidays!" in accordance with company policy, they didn't stare me dead in the eye and hiss "MERRY. CHRISTMAS."

[chemikillgod]

I'm indifferent to Christmas as a holiday. Fuck, I mean, when I was growing up my parents sometimes got too lazy to even get a tree and I didn't feel like I missed out on that. But I like the family stuff. Mostly because my family is pretty much the most non-dysfunctional family I've yet seen. No tension, no fighting (99 percent of the time). Everyone gets along. We have a good time without alcohol. And you know what, I'm not going to make ANY APOLOGIES about that either. It's pretty much the American standard to hate on family gatherings but I got nothin' but love for my family.

[UNCLEagent]

Mostly because my family is pretty much the most non-dysfunctional family I've yet seen. No tension, no fighting (99 percent of the time). Everyone gets along. We have a good time without alcohol.

Oh dear.

THAT is the greatest dysfunction of all!

Just kidding.... sounds like you have the beauty of the holidays right where you want it.

[Bokchoi Cowboy]

Bill, relax, if i thought that was real for one second then i would have played the vid multiple times to check... I think its fake.

its a good piece of animation set to music after the fact, but not for one second do I beleive its for real...nobody walks inbetween the house and the camera for the entire duration of that song??? where are the neighbors? the cops? no... its fake.

Nope, it isn't fake. It is by some geek with waaaaay too much time on his hands. This thing has been on the 'net for a few years. I'm surprised you haven't come across it before.

From Wikipedia:

Carson Williams from Mason, Ohio (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason%2C_Ohio), USA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USA), is noted for his homemade light shows using Christmas lights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_lights) fixed around and on top of his house. The lights are programmed to turn on and off in synchronism with music using a computer application and set of modules known as Light-O-Rama (http://lightorama.com/). For each minute of animation synchronized to music, he spent approximately one hour to sequence 88 Light-O-Rama channels to control his 16,000 Christmas lights. His notability suddenly increased when a popular clip was widely circulated on the Internet in late 2005 showing a recording of one of his shows from 2004, accompanied by the track "Wizards in Winter (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wizards_in_Winter_%28song%29)" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans-Siberian_Orchestra). An urban legend even developed that it was not a video of an actual light display, but faked on a computer.
With the permission from both his neighbors he put on various displays each year, completely free. Typical light shows ran between 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. each night. Viewers heard the music on an FM broadcast (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FM_broadcasting) frequency marked in the front yard. This kept the noise level down and eliminated the light/sound lag often experienced at concerts.
However, on December 6 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/December_6), 2005 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2005), Carson closed the light display indefinitely due to immense traffic congestion in his subdivision; there was a car accident in that area and police were unable to reach the site due to the heavy traffic that had built up.
Williams' Christmas display proved so popular that it was featured in a Miller Lite (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_Lite) beer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer) commercial (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_commercial) in December 2005. In fact, the show was so popular that many other individuals have copied Williams, using the same song.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carson_Williams#_note-0)
He has taken his Internet fame and started a custom animation lighting business. ConsarLights.com (http://www.consarlights.com/) is a business to provide custom designed holiday lighting.
In November 2006, Williams decided to revive the display and move the show to Heritage Oak Park in Mason, Ohio. The show has been converted into a "drive-through" style show and admission will be charged.
According to a promotional video,[2] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carson_Williams#_note-1) officials at the Northfield Stapleton Shopping Center found William's house lights video on the internet and asked him to design a new show in Denver, Colorado, on a commercial scale. Created with the help of Parker 3D, the show featured over 250,000 LED (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light-emitting_diode) lights drawing 150 amperes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ampere) of electric current. It used several Trans-Siberian Orchestra songs, including "Wizards in Winter," "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Eve/Sarajevo_12/24)" and "Christmas Canon". "Symphony In Lights" was a free show open to the general public that ran through the month of December 2006.


And thats all you need to know about that video.

[chemikillgod]

Nope, it isn't fake. It is by some geek with waaaaay too much time on his hands. This thing has been on the 'net for a few years. I'm surprised you haven't come across it before.

From Wikipedia:


And thats all you need to know about that video.

I actually didn't click on the video or else I would have pointed out its authenticity also since my sister's boyfriend was actually talking about this just recently since that was actually in his hometown.

[Lavoruis]

Due too P.C gone amuck!
Christmas is no longer vaild,.
The new term for the hoildays is... Consumer, Winter, Festival.
How's that?

[Bokchoi Cowboy]

Consumer Winter Festival is pretty good.


How about a diversion from all that crap Bill? Here is a blast-from-holiday past:


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v432/webdev/cineNativity.jpg


Can anyone name all the members of the Cinescape Nativity Scene?


*

[UNCLEagent]

Never saw that one before - Cool Pic, Boki!

Left to right....

Os.
Jack Sparrow
Slamshut
Adam
Carni
Neglet
Bill
(?)
Jakester

[Bill_the_Pony]

No, that's Sickness, not Slamshut. We've never seen Slamshut's face.

And that's Omicron between me and Jakester.

WHo is playing Jesus, though? :confused:




Thanks for the longer post, UNCLEagent. That's the stuff I refer to, but I am feeling so walloped lately, I can't make a long and/or articulate post...as if I ever really do....


Thanks for clarifying, Spammy..... like you said. Too many unpleasant things heaped up all at once.

And good to see Sgt Awesome, Metuzalem and The Bokchoi Cowboy all back here and being their swell selves.

xo

[UNCLEagent]

Thanks, Bill.

I hope you're doing better. I would say enjoy an eggnog latte (God, I LOVE those) but they are scary things.

I used to down two or three a week, until I spilled one on the counter at SB's.

I tried using a handfull of napkins, hoping to absorb the liquid, but no way! The stuff was like 30 wt. motor oil. No.... more like phlegm! It wouldn't absorb!

I began to panic and disclose the chemical properties to nearby customers, as to get witnesses, but the SB security staff immediately pulled me aside and demanded complete silence as their hazmat crew began to scoop up the spill.

I still love an occassional eggnog latte - much like the occassional smoke. You know it's going to kill you, but.....

[spammityspam]

Bill, you should start new Festivus traditions. Wear a little badge with dollars pinned to it and make up some ridiculous rule that whenever your customers violate it, they have to give you a dollar. I had a friend do that at Steak 'N Shake on a different holiday and he actually made some cash. That might cheer you up! Plus, you can just declare the Holy Month of Festivus and do it consistently.

Many hugs. You seem like you've really had it rough the past couple months. If I lived closer, I would bake you cookies, but as it is, all you get is e-sympathy. <3

[omicron]

man I forgot about that picture. I sure am rocking the bling in that, aren't I? :)

[Sgt. Awesome]

In regards to the video... that's sort of the thing that I am going to school to learn how to do... only not with Christmas lights... so many channels... so many channels...


Ahhh... strike raids on malls become impossible at Christmas time... it sucks.

I trying to get a CD tower and I cannot find one that is not ugly. Pissing me off... but I was at Metrotown (one of the biggest malls... but not super-noteworthy and monstrous) and I could hardly move with all the people. I was moving at old lady pace, not a speed I like to travel. Was late for work as well.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Just with everything right now, and then the added pressure of holidays (and people wanting me to travel, gas prices, and other personal things I mentioned here in the last couple weeks), all I feel right now is overwhelming dread, like I've never ever felt. :(

[UNCLEagent]

They keep saying the spirit of the Season is Peace.

I keep looking to find my own, and it comes in bits and pieces, sort of like a jigsaw puzzle.

I hope you find what you need this time around. At least we have all of us, here. :)

[Lavoruis]

Here you go Uncle
Peace is a lie, there only Passion

[UNCLEagent]

Well, thanks!

Passion is a little something I could do with in my life.

[Lavoruis]

don't forget the rest of Sith code.

[neglet]

I dread the mad consumer frenzy that the Christmas season has become. I don't want to get near a mall, although I love to give and get presents. Black Friday I took my cousin to the (nearly empty) pet store so she could get a couple of the very cool kitty litter boxes like the ones I have myself, and then we went to an uncrowded Borders and got a free coffee. I'm planning on doing most of my shopping online; I also make sure to pick things up throughout the year, so I don't have a ton of things to get. There's no gift so important that I'm going to force myself to go to a store at 4 am in the morning. That's just crazy.

I'll get to play a couple of holiday concerts, which are always fun; the audiences are appreciative and we get cookies! I'll put up some lights on our bushes, because it brightens the dark days and I like sparkly things. Nothing inflatable, though! I don't get that at all.

On the day itself we'll have a small get together with family, then the day after Christmas the Mr. and I head down south for our trip to Antarctica. (And yes, I saw the story about the cruise ship that sank. Different line than ours, and we know the rescue system works!)

So I'm trying not to stress out about the season. Talk to me in three weeks, though, and we'll see how I'm doing....

[Gentlemen Death]

I guess it all really depends on what you see Christmas as and all for you to dislike it...I like it and dislike it for many reasons, but I still find it enjoyable...Everyone for the most part is happy and I do not see anything wrong with that...Shrug it off and drink some eggnog!

[Bill_the_Pony]

John Green, half of the vlogbrothers (http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers) at youtube, and HIS CHristmas Rant.


WpP8uD7PDo0

Gawd, some nerds are just so hot. :ohwell:

[Bill_the_Pony]

Consumer Winter Festival is pretty good.


How about a diversion from all that crap Bill? Here is a blast-from-holiday past:


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v432/webdev/cineNativity.jpg


Can anyone name all the members of the Cinescape Nativity Scene?


*

BTW....what character am I supposed to be, there?! :eek: Everyone else is decked out in nice threads, but I look like I'm wearing a potato sack. I can't be one of the three wise guys, they'd never dress like that. :shakehead:

I look like a Stable Boy, waiting for everyone to get the hell out, so I can continue shoveling poo. :Tongue:

or: Aunt Jemima called and she wants her mumu back. :eek:

[southpaw]

Look on the bright side, at least you didn't have to bring a sheep as your date like Mr. Sparrow did.

[kah]

I caught my recent ex in bed with his ex on our first christmas.

Good times.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Sounds like someone's halls were due for a decking. :mad:

[kah]

Actually, that was my first big issue I shared with you guys, 6 years ago.

On a positive note, the boy who made me cry recently is making up for it. Big time.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Well, getting here from there is always a nice thing. :)


I'll let you know when I get there. :ohwell:

[kah]

Babe, I spent another 6 years with that tool and have been single for all of 3 months.

I am not there yet.

[Bill_the_Pony]

I myself am volunteering for the next round of UFO abductions, that's how much I ache to be relieved of this existence. :(

[Jakester]

Actually, that was my first big issue I shared with you guys, 6 years ago.

On a positive note, the boy who made me cry recently is making up for it. Big time.

You girls and your emotions...
I'm so dissapointed, Kah!

[omicron]

For the first time in a couple of years I won't be hosting my parents for the holidays. That means the 5day weekend that is xmas will be filled with Omi sitting around, playing video games and getting drunk! WOOHOO! :D

And Kah, if you need your halls decked, your bells jingled or your egg nogged, let me know :eyebrow:

[Bill_the_Pony]

How about a snowball? :Mwahaha:

[kah]

We had windchills of -30 this weekend. Trust me, they're all snowballs.

[TrixieB]

The neighbors who live on the corner lot two doors down are apparently going for the Griswold award this year. There are blinking, colored lights every-freaking-where and the kid tells me that they play music!!

I am a bit of a minimalist when it comes to holiday decorating. I have a wreath on the door, a small tree and a Santa that sits on a shelf. I like Christmas and all, but I don't want to spend a month putting up decorations and 3 months taking them down.

[mckracken]

I myself am volunteering for the next round of UFO abductions, that's how much I ache to be relieved of this existence. :(

I'm fairly sure that volunteering doesnt actually count for an "abduction" Bill, you can try it, but they told me volunteers are excluded.

the best way to guarantee an abduction is to shoot a grappling hook at any unidentified lights you see in the sky and hope the object is low enough to hook it...of course this time of year, it might just be Santa ;)

[Bill_the_Pony]

Santa?! :eek:

Fuck that! :mad: This is the I hate Christmas thread!


FUCK! :mad:

[Bill_the_Pony]

Following that up with total agreeance with Trixie...if any attempt IS to be made (and it's not happening this year) it would be small, minimalist and TASTEFUL. We have one of those winter wonderland houses down the street, and it plays music, too. :rolleyes:

Any Christmas I do these days, is for the kids.

It just so happens I don't have any. :o

[mckracken]

its gotten so bad, I'm actually shopping for my entire A/P department at Office Max because we're all under this "no-buy office products" quarantine.
it really sucks, i'm the only one in my department with white-out and staples! :lol: the white-out is like gold HAHA!!

i actually found out who was hording the ink bottle for our rubber stampers and emailed her about refilling my date stamp... it worked great, she refilled everybody's stampers while she was there and even let me keep the bottle of black ink!!

now if we only could order some yellow highlighters and post it note pads... things are getting really bad at the office.:D

[Bill_the_Pony]

You should have went to a 99 cent store to get them those things. :eek:

In spite of my momentary lapse of insensitivity in the "I love Xmas" thread, I still hate Xmas and all the malarkey that leads up to it. I still have a freeway drive to make. :ohwell:

Someone in the neighborhood put a manger scene on their roof (the kind that lights up from withing, it's all plastic) . I wanted to yell "Where's your saviour NOW....I'll TELL you where.... ON YOUR FUCKIN' ROOF!"" :mad:

But that would not be very nice, so I won't. :headscratch:


:Dunno:

[Space Tycoon]

Thank God for Antiwar.com:

NORAD Tracks Mr. Santa’s Wild Ride (http://www.antiwar.com/blog/2008/12/24/norad-tracks-mr-santas-wild-ride/)








.

[neglet]

Here's a reason to hate Christmas: there wasn't any football on TV!

[Bill_the_Pony]

There was here, some of the kids were playing it on their X-Box. :(