Love at First Sight?

[kah]

Don't need to revisit that fight.

[neglet]

Kah, I'd say you're not being overly cynical to be concerned about your sister's hurry-up marriage, and about the guy she's marrying--neither sounds like the ideal situation. However, I'd not say you're being terribly realistic either, and here's why:

You say you know your sister has terrible taste in men. You know she's impulsive and stupid. Now, shouldn't you also know by now that anything you say to her is not going to change her mind? That even if you point out that a) there's a semi-trailer stuck on the level crossing; b) that there's a loose wheel on her choo-choo engine; and c) that the brake line has been cut, that she will still not see the train wreck that is inevitably going to happen? And that if you do point out all this evidence, she will not thank you for it, and in fact will get pissed off at you for raining on her parade.

Your dad may have a point about "let her make her own mistakes"--because it sounds like that's the only way she's going to learn. That doesn't make it any less painful for you to watch, or make you want to shake some sense into her any less. However, I think that discretion is the better part of valor in this case.

You want to support her? Raise your concerns once, gently and in a nonaccusatory manner if possible. (ie, "Are you concerned that you'll feel like strangers once he gets back from Iraq?", not "you hardly know this guy! why the rush?") If she doesn't see a problem, then let it drop. Nagging will not teach her anything. And if by some miracle things do work out with the marriage, you won't be seen as a negative Nellie who hated the guy from the first minute.

In the meantime, you can prepare yourself (and her) in case things go south, or even to help prevent it. Are you worried she'll be alone while he's gone? Help her find a support group for Iraq wives. Are you worried she'll lose interest in him while he's gone? Get her hooked up on e-mail and make sure she finds a way to stay in touch--make digital movies for the guy, or record CDs to send to him. If it looks like she's thinking of playing around, find something more productive for her to do than go out to bars or whatever she might be doing that would get into trouble.

Try to find ways of addressing your concerns that will look positive to her (ie, helping her take action), rather than negative (nagging). That way she might take them more seriously. Good luck. I have a couple young relatives who have had quickie marriages in the past year, and they seem to be doing okay so far. Hope for the best, talk positive to your sister, and keep your worries in the background until she really needs you. Good luck.

[kah]

I raised my concerns with her, and talked with my parents about it. I've decided to let her do what she's going to do, and try to support her, but that doesn't mean I like it. My parents have been married almost 27 years, and I know they are soulmates, but my sister is, well, different.

I'm venting here because I can't say anything more to her or my parents. I know I am not going to be able to do anything but pick up the pieces when it all falls apart. I just wish she didn't always have to learn things the hard way.

[Bark]

I'm a cold, harsh individual. I have two thoughts. From what you say, your sister sounds nutty. Write her off. Second, there's no such thing as "love". Not in this world.

[Trazalca]

Second, there's no such thing as "love". Not in this world.

That sounds so... utterly depressing. :(

[neglet]

I'm a cold, harsh individual. I have two thoughts. From what you say, your sister sounds nutty. Write her off. Second, there's no such thing as "love". Not in this world.

What Bark means is: "When your nutty sister is on the rebound from this guy, give me her number. I'm desperate.":ohwell:

Ps: if you want love, get a cat. Your access to the cat food and opposable thumbs will make you the object of their attention and affection.:smirk:

[MPG]

The last guy she said she wanted to marry, left for Iraq, and she was dating a friend of his 2 weeks later.He's leaving for Iraq in the next few months for at least a year.What is it with her and soldiers? Is it the uniform? Or the feeling of "adventure" when you're in love with someone who is about to go into a war zone? Weird.Now tell me- am I just too cynical, or am I the only one who's actually being realistic around here?I'm with you all the way. But I guess I am not overly romantic - mostly because most of the things that many people consider to be "romantic" are things that I consider to be "stupid" and your sister apparently is about to do something terribly stupid/romantic. :smirk:

[Space Tycoon]

I'm a cold, harsh individual. I have two thoughts. From what you say, your sister sounds nutty. Write her off. Second, there's no such thing as "love". Not in this world.
I have often felt the same way.

But the truth is, love is all around us.

It was here long before we were around.

It will be around long after we're gone.

It's within us; it stands beside us.

And sometimes, it washes over us, even consuming us. (http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/3550/bbw6kz.jpg)



Be of good cheer, ole pal.

[Bark]

What Bark means is: "When your nutty sister is on the rebound from this guy, give me her number. I'm desperate.":ohwell:

Ps: if you want love, get a cat. Your access to the cat food and opposable thumbs will make you the object of their attention and affection.:smirk:

I ain't that desperate. :smirk:

[Bark]

I have often felt the same way.

But the truth is, love is all around us.

It was here long before we were around.

It will be around long after we're gone.

It's within us; it stands beside us.

And sometimes, it washes over us, even consuming us. (http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/3550/bbw6kz.jpg)



Be of good cheer, ole pal.


YIKES! :eek:

[Space Tycoon]

Would've been more shocking if I hadn't already posted it in the Caption This! thread already.

[sickness]

I don't know about love at first sight but I learned this weekend that there can be nothing at first sight. I had a blind date this weekend which was set up by friends (who came along for the ride to lighten up the situation and keep it easy on both of us). The second I met her, I knew absolutely nothing would happen between us and got the vibe that she felt exactly the same way. I had no expectations, though, so I wasn't disappointed or brought down by the experience at all.

[Bark]

Why are friends so stupid when it comes to that department?

[sickness]

I don't know. You'd think they'd know a little better how to set up their friends. At any rate, it was what it was.

[bigfras81]

http://www.shvoong.com/books/253409-game/

[Jakester]

I smell a banning coming on, cumdumpster.

[kah]

1) this spammer sure is digging up some old threads to spam

2) cumdumpster? wow, Jake, really, the visual imagery on that one- holy shit!:eek:

[neglet]

Sure, it's an old thread, but that just means it's time for you to give us an update on the upcoming nuptials. Has disaster struck yet, or are you still waiting for your chance to think "I told you so"?

[kah]

They got married the first week in April in Vegas. I wasn't there. As it turns out, my bf knew her husband from high school and thinks very highly of him. I also found out that the "friend" of mine that was telling me all those awful things about him had a crush on him and couldn't accept that he wasn't interested in her. So, her husband left to train in Georgia two weeks after their wedding. So far, so good, or bad, however you want to look at it. Then mid-June, my friends are telling me she's at the bar talking about getting a divorce, how she rushed things, and now she's lonely. I called her up and asked her wtf. She said she was drunk and having a hard time.

Her husband came home the last weekend of June to spend 10 days here before leaving for Kuwait. I hung out with them a little (turns out I like him, reminds me of me :dunno: ), kicked his ass in some Buck Hunter, and did a little bonding. He tells me he can't bring me back any sand or oil from Kuwait. I turned down the offer of a turban. I've been getting out of the house every Wednesday to watch my sis play volleyball, and just be supportive. Her man left last Sunday, and the only time she's left her bed (since she also got laid off from work the day he came home :o ), was to go to volleyball Wed night and to the zoo with me yesterday, because I'm a pushy bitch and wouldn't let her mope on my son's birthday.

Other than that... I'm not sure. I like her husband :eek:, and I am getting along with my sis for the first time in my memory, but I don't know if she's going to make it through the next year alone. We'll see, though. I'm going to do my best to make her honor her decision, and her marriage, because I'm a big sis, and that's what we do. We tell our younger siblings what to do, and hold the "I told you so's" over their heads to keep them in line.

[Jakester]

I aim to make you gag, Kahlan, although I'd prefer to do it by different means.

[omicron]

Don't forget his motto, Kah.

Jakester: the best 30 seconds of your life.

Omi

[kah]

You know, it's all about patience.

After the "best" 30 seconds, you just have to wait a little while, then get the ball rolling again. You're guaranteed at least 5 minutes the second time, lol. Too many people give up after the disappointment of a too-quick quickie. Not me, though. I have endurance and patience. :wink:

[sickness]

So, Kah. What was the resolution on this little story?

[omicron]

Ya know Kah, every time I don't think you can get any hotter, you say something like that. :eyebrow:

Omi

[Jakester]

Hell, baby, I can go for SIX easy!

[Sgt. Awesome]

Six seconds? Wow. That's a real talent.

[kah]

So, Kah. What was the resolution on this little story?

Go back a page, just responded yesterday.

[kah]

Omi- Wisconsin seems very far away right now, doesn't it? :smirk:

Jake- I bet you're good for 7! I have faith in you.

Awesome- You said it :lol:

[sickness]

Thanks for the pointer back to page 2. When I logged in yesterday it only showed page 3 as being new so I didn't catch it.

Cool. I'm glad to hear that he has the blessing of people you know and trust and that you're whipping your sister's ass over stupid comments while making sure she doesn't let the distance bury her. That's what siblings are for. There have been times when I went to my brother for help when I was in a tight spot and he did the best thing possible: leave me there so I'd learn something but make sure we stayed in contact and it didn't come between us.

[kah]

Thanks for the pointer back to page 2. When I logged in yesterday it only showed page 3 as being new so I didn't catch it.

Cool. I'm glad to hear that he has the blessing of people you know and trust and that you're whipping your sister's ass over stupid comments while making sure she doesn't let the distance bury her. That's what siblings are for. There have been times when I went to my brother for help when I was in a tight spot and he did the best thing possible: leave me there so I'd learn something but make sure we stayed in contact and it didn't come between us.

Between my son being born and her getting married, we've found a way to actually get along for the first time in 20 years. (I do realize she was only 4 20 years ago, but that's when it all started.) It's kind of nice to acknowledge that I have a sister.

btw: ugh, the boy pukes cottage cheese now.

[Sgt. Awesome]

Like it looks like? Or he actually pukes it out. In which case you should package it... and sell it. It's like having a cow... but without you know... the cow.

[kah]

Like it looks like? Or he actually pukes it out. In which case you should package it... and sell it. It's like having a cow... but without you know... the cow.

Milk goes in, cottage cheese comes out. Except it smells horrid. :(