Ebert's suggestions for improving movie theaters

[SlamShut]

1. Install equipment, which already exists, to block cell phone signals in movie theaters.

2. Sell tickets with bar codes on them, so that moviegoers could attend only the movie they paid for. This would reduce the comings and goings of patrons who believe one admission is their ticket to a double or triple feature, and kids who movie-hop with their friends from one theater to another. It also would help explain why ticket sales seem to be down, even though theaters seem to be about as full as ever.

3. Eliminate commercials (see below).

4. Train projectionists to show films at the proper light and sound levels. Twenty years after I first wrote about this problem, many movie theaters continue the insane practice of dialing down the intensity of projector lamps under the mistaken belief that they can reduce their power bills and extend lamp life. As a result, many movies are projected so dimly that their impact is diminished. I've quoted Eastman Kodak experts who say the light level has no effect on bulb life.

5. Many adults avoid certain kinds of movies because they assume the theater will be filled with noisy teenagers. Let's say you're 40 and you want to go see a Dead Teenager movie like "Final Destination 3." Would you think twice? Perhaps theater chains could create movie clubs for patrons above a certain age, and advise them of screenings where reasonable audience behavior will actually be enforced by the presence of ushers. Even one usher should do it. It's the thought that counts.

In support of my fifth suggestion, here is a message from Keith Johnson of Olathe, Kan.: "When people write of bad movie experiences, I can relate. One helpful solution is to attend the matinees. If it is not a children's movie, the theater seems to have older, more mature audiences, and the behavior of the audience is much better."

[Click here for the article] (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=ANSWERMAN)

I can't think of a single thing wrong with any of these suggestions. Some people are opposed to the idea of blocking cellphones, but I think those people should be punched heartily in the face.

SlamWife and I find ourselves going to the theater less and less-- even shows at the better theaters during off-peak hours for non-premiere films have a few assholes in the audience who scream at the screen, take phone calls, and are generally disruptive. Couple that with the half-hour of Coke and car commercials and the outrageous prices at the concession stand, and we have virtually no reason to go. Last year I saw a total of two movies in the theater. I watched somewhere between 150 and 200 films on DVD at home.

[KingVoyeur]

I second everything listed there. I love going to movies with packed theaters because I enjoy the audience atmosphere, but I have noticed there seem to be more assholes in theaters lately. For example, I went with friends to see Brokeback Mountain when it (finally) came to my town. Sitting behind us were two straight couples, but the guys sat together and the girls sat together (why I don't know). For about 45 minutes, the girls giggled and joked to each other about the movie, and, of course, they were sitting directly behind me (oddly enough, the guys didn't really speak, other than to comment that Gyllenhaal acted a shitty cowboy). The ladies got so distracting that I whispered to my friends that we should move cause I was getting pissed but didn't want to say anything cause I knew I woulda gone off on them and distracted eveyrone else. Luckily, one of my friends turned around and quietly asked them to shut the fuck up, which they did. I think if there had been an usher they would've shut up a lot sooner.

[TrixieB]

The only reason I have a problem with the cell phone one is that I am a parent. I would hate to know that I left my kid at home with a babysitter to go to a movie and there was no way that they could contact me for 2 hours. Emergencies happen.

[Bill_the_Pony]

I second everything listed there. I love going to movies with packed theaters because I enjoy the audience atmosphere, but I have noticed there seem to be more assholes in theaters lately. For example, I went with friends to see Brokeback Mountain when it (finally) came to my town. Sitting behind us were two straight couples, but the guys sat together and the girls sat together (why I don't know). For about 45 minutes, the girls giggled and joked to each other about the movie, and, of course, they were sitting directly behind me (oddly enough, the guys didn't really speak, other than to comment that Gyllenhaal acted a shitty cowboy). The ladies got so distracting that I whispered to my friends that we should move cause I was getting pissed but didn't want to say anything cause I knew I woulda gone off on them and distracted eveyrone else. Luckily, one of my friends turned around and quietly asked them to shut the fuck up, which they did. I think if there had been an usher they would've shut up a lot sooner.

My experience with Brokeback Mountain was thankfully much more sober. Very intelligent, adult and civil audience, and not one disturbance... and the theater was near full. What I noticed at the end was, nobody got up and left during the first 2 or 3 minutes of the credits. Everone seemed genuinely touched by the movie, and even during this time, people stayed quiet. This was in the movie's first week or so of release.

Compare that with Interview With a Vampire, which I saw in some mall multiplex in a low class town, visiting a friend. The audience wouldn't shut up, and made jeering noises when Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas almost kissed.

I despise paying massive amounts of money to sit in a theater with philistines and cretins..... and most people, especially younger ones these days, are exactly that. I didn't make the mistake of having a fucking kid, and never will, and would appreciate not having the misery they bring foisted on me. :)

What I despise even more is when I go with a group of people (rare) and one or more of them act like this (loud, abrasive comments, cellphone lighting up, rustling food wrappers....). I sit there cringing. :romy:

I'm all for everything in that list, and have no problem paying a few dollars extra for the luxury of having those conditions met and enforced. :)

[SlamShut]

The only reason I have a problem with the cell phone one is that I am a parent. I would hate to know that I left my kid at home with a babysitter to go to a movie and there was no way that they could contact me for 2 hours. Emergencies happen.

This is the number one objection to having cellphones blocked, and for me it just doesn't wash. People went to the movies for nearly a century without cellphones, and society managed to hold itself together. If you're that worried about an impending emergency, don't go to the movies. It's that simple. The movie-theater experience does not revolve around you and your personal whims. If you are unable to go to a film without potentially causing a distubance, just stay out.

As for the people who talk during movies, one of the reasons that SlamWife doesn't like going with me to the cinema anymore is that I absolutely will not tolerate any bullshit in my immediate vicinity. I have absolutely no problem with screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP" at the top of my lungs at people who talk to each other, the screen, or a cellphone during a film. I will even confront people who talk too much during the previews, tapping them on the shoulder and saying "You're not bugging me now, but when the movie starts, you're going to shut the fuck up, aren't you?" Many of these people will move after I say this. But SlamWife is an old-fashioned girl, and she gets embarassed. And frankly, I don't have to deal with any of that bullshit at home with a DVD, so I'm not as eager to go out to the theater either.

[Bill_the_Pony]

...frankly, I don't have to deal with any of that bullshit at home with a DVD, so I'm not as eager to go out to the theater either....

Back in the day, when my ex wasn't an ex, I'd be sitting at home, enjoying a movie or something on tv with a friend, and my ex would come home and start TALKingTALKingTALKing (he was from New Jersey). I would freeze frame whatever was on tv, and give him my undivided attention, but not in a very polite way. :/ After awhile, I'd point the remote and him and ~click~ and he would just look at me like :romy:

Hey, it worked. :)

[Bark]

The only reason I have a problem with the cell phone one is that I am a parent. I would hate to know that I left my kid at home with a babysitter to go to a movie and there was no way that they could contact me for 2 hours. Emergencies happen.

You're a parent. You have no more rights. Don't bug the rest of us.

[Lavoruis]

I haven't been to movie theater since 2004.
I agree what Ebert says nobody needs there cell phone during a movie
just plain rude. I would go one step further,
instead of jamming the cell phones why turn it up premament scramble:D
I don't care for movie theater experience anymore, to many dumb ass
people! making noises, commments, eating ,etc.
I prefer direct to dvd myself .:)
Thats the way it's heading anyways.

[Daltons Chin Dimple]

At a cinema in the UK, some booner behind us was gabbling into his cell-phone during Palpatines speech to Anakin at the opera in ROTS, complete with the truncated speech patterns and semi-ebonics of the great unwashed and irritating.

Cue Big Al, who stood up, turned round, grabbed the offenders cell phone from right next to his ear mid sentance and said,

"If you wanna talk....."

...Threw the cell phone across the theatre against the wall by the exit...

"....do it out there!"

And then sat down as if nothing had happenned.

[bluetuned]

cheers to that.

[MPG]

The only reason I have a problem with the cell phone one is that I am a parent. I would hate to know that I left my kid at home with a babysitter to go to a movie and there was no way that they could contact me for 2 hours. Emergencies happen.
Does that mean that parents didn't go to the movie theatre before there were cell phones?

Actually, this may sound harsh, but this reminds me of how my mother would always give me this well-known speech during my teenage years about how I should give her a call from time to time when I was not at home, because she was worried that something would happen to me. My answer was always "Look, if something happens to me, it makes no difference whatsoever whether you hear about it at 4pm, 6pm, 8pm or 10pm." :D

[Asonokirk V 2.0]

I'm not sure how barcodes would keep people from hopping from theater to theater in a multiplex, so please explain that to me.

I have been fortunate enough to be able to attend press screenings of any film I want to see for the past few years, so although I've seen hundreds of films over that time period, I haven't actually had to attend a film with a regular audience. The press screenings are always attended by people who are well behaved, including their children when they bring them. They make everyone leave their cell phones with the security people when we go into the theaters, so those aren't any issue either. Actually, now that I think about it most of the movies I've seen have been at small screening rooms that seat maybe 30 people, so I am WAY out of the loop when it comes to theater audience behavior. I am not happy to hear that audiences are getting more rude these days.

Actually, I'm surprised Roger Ebert would even know about the theater experience, as I would imagine he's invited to the screenings like I am. So, with that in mind, exactly how does Mr. Ebert know what needs to be changed at theaters?

[Rowanberry]

I'm not sure how barcodes would keep people from hopping from theater to theater in a multiplex, so please explain that to me.


I think that the idea is that, if one leaves during the screening, they could only get back to the same theatre with their ticket - the bar code would be controlled at the door, and it wouldn't let them in to any other theatre. Of course, that would require some electronic control system.

[LoneWolfen]

Every problem listed here isn't just in the theaters. It's all over the place. A complete and total lack of manners. This ME generation mentality has infected almost every age group in every walk of life.

I was just reflecting on this thought this very morning while driving to work. It was early, just post dawn, but before the sun came up. Visibility was down, as it was snowing, yet half of the commute force had no headlights or running lights on at all. So long as they could see the road, the thought of anyone seeing them was totally beyond their comprehension. THESE are the same assh*les who break out their phones in a theater, or talk out loud, or let a door slam in your face.......I could go on and on.
The concept that anyone else exists and is effected by their behavior is not in their interests.

And this isn't a liberal or conservative attack ..it's rather, well, as I have come to see it...the new American way.

[subprod]

I've pretty much stopped going because of too many confrontations with obnoxious idiots, my blood pressure was getting too high yelling at the fools.
Why someone pays ten bucks to yap to there friend in a theatre is beyond me.
Forget ushers, LET'S GET SOME BOUNCERS!

[DarkJedi]

My brother in law is a perfectionist. He has to have the perfect home entertainment center to show his movies....and he happens to run a Cinemark theatre as well.

I understand that he can be somewhat skewed in performance quality but he certainly knows how to put on a good show. He verifies that every print is good and that his audio is kicking for all good blockbusters coming out as well as great directorial movies.

The man knows how to run a theatre.

So, I most definitely agree with Eberts opinion on movie theatre quality.

After watching a movie at his house.....I can pick up on the total misses at other screens across Texas whether it's screen/visual screwups or audio screwups.

It takes away from alot of enjoyment, these misses from ppl who really don't give a damn about the viewer's experience.

[Sgt. Awesome]

I just realized I didn't let you guys in on a little secret. Sgt. Awesome (AKA Pieboy) is employed in a Cinemark Theatre. I'm currently still in uniform, mostly because I closed tonight and have only recently gotten home.

At my theatre today we had someone smoking, ironicly, in "Thank you for Smoking".

To argue Eberts points

1. Ok... I can't. Having to tell people to stop using their cell phones, at which point they usually do, is a pain and you have to be in the right place at the right time. Although some people do need to take calls at all hours of the day and they usually have the respect to step outside the theatre and have their phone ring on vibrate

2. The averige movie go-er knows that they paid for one show. We have lesser and greater restrictions in Canada. (R doesn't exist, most R movies are 14A, but some are 18A which is a higher restriction) If you are underage and sneak by an usher you arn't getting away with anything, they probably can tell you are under age but are too lazy to do anything about it. I let some six year olds into "The Hills Have Eyes" the other day, their mother was with them... and they were traumatized.

Installing the barcode recog at the enterence to every theatre has so many problems and would cost a bit more money then theatres have. My place of work doesn't even have enough to cover new feather dusters.

3. Yes, commercials are annoying. I know. But they have three advantages that I can think of right now.

a) Allows the theatre to make money. You know how much we make off ticket sales? Didily-squat. Probably about 5c a ticket. Most of our money comes from previews.
b) Allows projectionist/usher to check the theatre to make sure picture/sound is good before the movie actually starts. If there's a problem in can and will be fixed within moments, before the show actually starts.
c) Shows you new upcoming movies that you might want to see, or decide you'll just rent on DVD.

4. At my theatre at least our projectionists are trained. Also, our projectionists are my age. I'm sure most are. If there is something wrong with the image or sound it's the projectionists job to fix it for maximum movie-going enjoyment.

5. Ok, who in their right mind would want to see "Final Destination 3" anyway?

[Bark]

5. Ok, who in their right mind would want to see "Final Destination 3" anyway?

[Dr. Evil says:] Those who wish to view overly-elaborate, easily-escapable, exotic deaths.

[DaForce]

[Dr. Evil says:] Those who wish to view overly-elaborate, easily-escapable, exotic deaths.


Ah...you mean James Bond fans. :smirks:

[Bark]

What's James Bond? :smirks:

:D

[Penfold]

Personally, I want to see them go back to showing cartoons before the feature...you know, resurrect the old Looney Tunes stuff, or Roger Rabbit, or come up with something else.

[Asonokirk V 2.0]

Personally, I want to see them go back to showing cartoons before the feature...you know, resurrect the old Looney Toons stuff, or Roger Rabbit, or come up with something else.

That would be a wonderful thing to behold. Maybe it is time some enterprising cartoonists make a whole new series of Looney Tunes that would feature a whole new group of characters. For example, instead of Bugs Bunny, you could have some creature character whose personality would mirror Bugs's, but his motivation is different. Instead of dealing with hunters, the character would be dealing with some other, ever present, life-threatening gestalt.

You could transform the other archetypes into new visions that would incorporate the basic underlying motivations with the social evolution that has occurred since the original cartoons were created.

To capture the "spirit" of the old Looney Tunes cartoons would be the goal.