Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies with One Million Signatures

[mlauzon]

Ladies and Gentleman, we finally have a chance to rid the cinematic world of a cancer. Uwe Boll, the German director behind such horrid video game adaptations as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege and Postal, has recently admitted that he would retire from making movies if enough people want him to stop. When FearNet (http://www.fearnet.com/MCNewsDetailPage.aspx?catid=30&mid=13788) mentioned to Boll a petition online signed by 18,000 people requesting that he cease making films, Boll responded that “18,000 is not enough to convince me.” So how much would be enough?

Indeed, now we have a goal. All we need is 980,000 more signatures on this petition and we can rid the world of future Boll-directed/produced cinematic atrocities. as my friend Scott Weinberg on Cinematical (http://www.cinematical.com/2008/04/06/one-million-signatures-and-uwe-boll-will-quit-making-movies/) points out, Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Zombie Massacre and BloodRayne 3 are already in production. So we might not be able to stop those productions. Be we just might have the ability to prevent a BloodRayne 4 or House of the Dead 3. So sign now!

Sign the Stop Uwe Boll Petition Now (http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html)

Source: /film (http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/06/uwe-boll-will-quit-making-movies-with-one-million-signatures/)

[The Tyrant Virus]

Wow, it was in the 40,000's when I signed it yesterday, now it's very close to the 100k mark.

[Cncrman]

They are at 99226 as of right now. Everytime I refresh it goes up by 5-10 more. lol

[Jakester]

I was 99623!

[kah]

You know, if people would just stop watching his movies, there wouldn't be any incentive for him to make more.

Just sayin'. :Dunno:

[Trazalca]

Crap. I was SO ready to create a thread for this one.
The one time it would have paid to go on the internet early in the morning. :mad:

Whatever. I'm signing. :D

[Trazalca]

Wow. The split second I signed the petition, it stood at count 103666 Signatures Total. Ten seconds later, it went up to 103678 when I went to review the list.

I'm going to be keeping my eye on this one. :D

Edit: It looks like it's averaging about 100 a minute. That is so beautiful. :D

[Cncrman]

You know, if people would just stop watching his movies, there wouldn't be any incentive for him to make more.

Just sayin'. :Dunno:

I wish this was effective. But there is this large group of people that just follow others wherever they go. I call them "Sheep'le". It's the same reason that network TV typically has nothing on but rancid insipid crap and the good shows quickly get cancelled or run into the ground (Mind you that I don't have cable).

[Trazalca]

106828 Total Signatures :D :D :D :popcorn:

[omicron]

107580 Signatures Total

[Trazalca]

109683 Total Signatures :D :D :D :popcorn:

What's funny are the comments everyone is making from all over the world,
in all languages. The global hatred for this guy is hysterical. :lol:

[mckracken]

i wrote: "before you retire i would really like to see house of the Dead III...just kidding"

under the name of phil Mckracken..#112368 this thing is cranking fast.

the problem is, he is such an ego-maniac that even 1 million sigs still wouldnt convince him...

[Trazalca]

112537 Total Signatures :D :D :D :popcorn:

[KingVoyeur]

<< Signature 112626.

[mckracken]

so the general concensus is that nobody wants bloodrayne IV or House of the Dead III?

aww

traz... what IS your avatar?

[Gentlemen Death]

114190 Signatures Total!!!

[Trazalca]

:chewiedance: :chewiedance: :chewiedance: 117112 Total Signatures :D :D :D :popcorn:

[Trazalca]

so the general concensus is that nobody wants bloodrayne IV or House of the Dead III?

aww

traz... what IS your avatar?

Not sure. Found it at an avatar site, looked cool, and saved it.
Would love to know the answer myself.
Don't think it's from a movie. (an ad maybe?) :cool:

[DarkJedi]

NOTHING Entertainment related goes in the Asylum.


NOTHING!

Nada.

Zip.

Zero.


And please get a million signatures.

[Trazalca]

Ok dammit.
Now that made me mad.
What in the blue-freakin' hell does that give you the right to assume
Uwe Boll should even be declared up to the ranks of CELEBRITY???
Uwe Boll? A celebrity? To even place his mud-caked toothy grinning mug
on the same par, let alone the same golf course, as Britney, Paris or Lohan
is near sacrilege! Uwe Boll is NOT a celebrity!
Uwe Boll is NOT even remotely within the living and breathing vicinity of ENTERTAINMENT.

Now, if you had moved this thread over to the Mania Help Ward, I would not have been mad at you O mighty Jarrod.
If you had moved it over to the 23.5 Degrees forum, I would definitely not have
been mad at you.

But I do thank you FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY LITTLE HEART that you did NOT
move this thread to the Video forum. I am eternally appreciative of that.
At least you had the good sense to pause and think to not place it there.

However, I would like to know where entertainment can be found from anything
that could ever come out of Ewe Bowl? The blighted cancer sore on the dusky hide
of a sexually unsatisfied ranch bull would be a far better entertainment to discuss and ponder.
A barrel full of rotted worm-infested apples being eaten by drag-queen pygmies
at a table dressed up as 17th century French bourgeoise opera singers would be
fair play under the fetid umbrella of 'entertainment'.
The never-ending runny nasal discharges from my 2 year old boy during his adventure
with the flu last month, caught in a bucket and sold to an auto-detailing body shop
in Montana for the sake of giving a surviving line of 1974 exploding Ford Pintos
a glossy sheen after a second coat of black lacquer was applied would
be FAR AND AWAY REGARDED MORE AS ENTERTAINMENT THAN UWE BOLL.

Really DJ. You disappoint me. You make me sad.

The only, and I mean, the ONLY entertainment to look forward to in the
dismally pathetic movie-career of Eww Blecch would be in his cinematic demise
at the end of this belovedly blessed million signed petition, which at the split second
typing of this sentence stands at 120271 Total Signatures.

Now, if that's the kind of entertainment you were referring to, then, well, okay.
I'll give. Go ahead and move it here.

I just wish you would have said that, instead of nothing/nada/zip/zero.
Those words really do not convey your intentions sir. You do better to
explain yourself better.

I'm going home now. Rant over.


Geek.

[DarkJedi]

:lol:

*Puts on a "I was the cause of a Traz rant" t-shirt and walks away..*

[mckracken]

i agree with Traz, i think watching drag-queen pygmies dressed up as 17th century French bourgeoise opera singers would be a great deal better than Dungeon Seige A Dragon Lance story or Bloodrayne III ... I'm still waiting for House of the Dead III

but honestly think about it this way, Uwe Boll is this Centuries Ed Wood, with one exception, He actually thinks he's making good movies... Ed Wood sure never did.

Perhaps Uwe Boll should try to purposefully make a disaster like Plan Nine from Outer Space or Glen or Glenda... perhaps he should try wearing a pink angora sweater and 5" stilletto heels while directing Bloodrayne III instead? :)

[Strider]

134,386

This thing is gonna have to get a lot more people if its gonna make it to a million.

[Jakester]

I was thinking the same thing, Strider.

[Trazalca]

137334

Hmm.

Is there any other way we can get the word out?
I really don't think enough attention has been brought about this.

There has to be a way.

Edit: But you know, looking at Strider's total from 2 hours ago, to mine from a few
minutes ago, 3000 in 2 hours isn't bad. Especially for a petition.

But still... if I do my calculations.... that means it'll take over a month to get a cool million. Oh come on! We gotta do better than that! :mad:

[Cncrman]

yeah, I did the math sometime yesterday and realized that it probably won't happen. It will slow down at some point and people will get bored.

Ah well, Uwe can now state that he is the most hated director around and use it for PR.

[KingVoyeur]

Can you sign it more than once with different names?

[mckracken]

i tried... it goes by email addie so technically yes you can...if you switch emails.

I think you guys are right, I dont think theres one million people (read internet geeky fanboys) that know of the Uwe Boll hatred phenomenon.

plus it would be easier to just stop watching his flicks altogether.:headscratch:

[Trazalca]

145962



(sigh)

[Trazalca]

BIG HEAPIN' PILE OF PIGEON CRAP ON A GRAHAM CRACKER!!!!

UWE BOLL RESPONDS TO THE PETITION ON YOUTUBE!:

WWqCNmfJ1hY

THIS IS WHY HE MUST BE STOPPED!!!
He is literally suffering from the worst case of tunnel vision in the history of mankind.

What a freakin' piece of work. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[mckracken]

did he say he wants 1 million PRO BOLL signatures? or was that PRO-BOWL?
if this jackass could get 1 million votes PRO UWE BOLL... why would he stop making movies?

so Postal is his next P.O.C. opens May 23rd? oh well, they'll be some lambs to the slaughter for every release.... nobody learned the dungeon seige lession.

oh here it is:
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/proboll

Petition Signatures
1 Uwe Boll OMG PLEASE DONT STOP ME MAKING FILMS!!
2 Nobody Important yes i do

there is also this one:
http://www.petitiononline.com/uwelive/petition.html
which currently has 1,100 sig's (and some of the responses are actually funny too)

[The Tyrant Virus]

That video is classic. :lol:

[whitetemplar78]

Well I joined the 140,000 some people that want to draw and quarter that bastard. I really think that man is unbalanced in his head, to think like he does, and to have a ego that he does, and still think he has some type of talent. The only talent he displays is how to kill a film, on that count, hell he's king! But worst of all, he has taken several solid works of gaming, that COULD have been made into strong decent movies, and RUINED THEM, God for that alone, he should be beaten...and now......oh god, now he's taking one of my favorite games of all time Far Cry, and he's gonna make that a laughing stock of a movie.....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???? that would have made such a solid movie, hell even a great movie, if it could have been handled right, but nooooooooooooo, now its fooked! and for that, I want to fly to Germany, find this ass wipe, and procced to beat him so hard, that his internal organs will be will be on the outside of his body, instead of the inside..........ahhhhhhggggggg

[mckracken]

apparntly Udo Kier and Michael Paré dont really give a shit about their careers, those two actors have been in a ton of Uwe Boll movies... they must live in Germany.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Oh, Udo, Udo. How could Uwe? :(

[Woodwraith]

137334

Hmm.

Is there any other way we can get the word out?
I really don't think enough attention has been brought about this.

There has to be a way.

Edit: But you know, looking at Strider's total from 2 hours ago, to mine from a few
minutes ago, 3000 in 2 hours isn't bad. Especially for a petition.

But still... if I do my calculations.... that means it'll take over a month to get a cool million. Oh come on! We gotta do better than that! :mad:


yeah, mention it in one of the IMDB message boards. You'll get all of them bottom feeders something far more constructive things to do. just a thought.

[WhiteKnight]

So, I've never knowingly seen one of this guys films, but I've been following this thread because the premise amuses me.

If I heard him correctly in the video, he claims he's not a fucking retard like Michael Bay. Let's not even get into the subject of whether Michael Bay is a fucking retard. He did just direct a hugely successful film in Transformers. How many $100 plus million dollar openings has Uwe Boll had? None? Okay.

I'm pretty sure that through the bad English and the thick accent (neither of which are his fault, I'm just saying I may have misunderstood) I heard him say he's not like the other directors out there who release the same shit every week. Hmm, how many video game adaptations has he directed? How many of them were House of the Dead sequels? Genius! Pure fucking genius?

I think I also heard him say something about social commentary films either directed by or starring George Clooney. Yeah, we totally need to get that social commentary shit off the big screen. Nobody is interested.

I think I'll sign this petition. What the hell. It may be worth it to try and piss him off some more so he can say more really dumb shit.

[Cncrman]

Traz, thanks for the video.

The whole time I watched it I was wanting him to say "Hear me now und believe me later" or offer to pump us up.

[Jakester]

I thought Boll's video was hysterical. I can't tell if he's serious, or if he's got his tongue in his cheek. Either way, though, it's really damn funny.

[Bill_the_Pony]

He talks like a sailor. :mad:

A nasty, dirty-mouthed German sailor! :mad:

A nasty, dirty-mouthed German sailor on shore leave, a little drunk, and in need of some extra bucks.... :ohwell:


http://a948.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/57/m_580714110a6d0e3e6f041cbd8f2034f3.gif

[Cncrman]

Some of these comments are hilarious.

164642.
George Clooney
Seriously, I'm not even sure how he implicated me into his spiel. Oh well. Eat a bowl of dicks, Uwe.

[mckracken]

whiteknight, not to downplay your most excellent comments or anything but Genius filmaker Uwe boll DIDNT direct House of the Dead II (that was directed by Michael Hurst (Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud, Room 6, The Darkroom) for Sci/fi channel sequel much like Highlander: The Source)...the difference being is that House of the Dead II was BETTER than the original was.

[mckracken]

in George Clooney's defence, I think Leatherheads had a better opening gross over In the Name of the King: Dungeon siege tale... but it still ended up failing to Nim's Island and is generally considered a failure... did anybody see Leatherheads?

[WhiteKnight]

Duely noted, McCracken. Thanks for the clarification.

Oh, and just because Leatherheads my go into the books as commercially unsuccessful doesn't mean that film makers should just stop making socially critical films. It's insane to tell an artist of any medium they shouldn't attempt to comment on society because it might not be commerically successful.

Don't tell this numb nut Boll, though. He'll want to fight you in a boxing match and hit you in the face repeatedly just to prove he's smarter than you. :D

[mckracken]

this isnt the video I was originally searching for but it sums up the point nicely.
FYCVVG8pfhU

this is it: BAG ANIMALS:
L-a607j2dOo

[The Tyrant Virus]

New vid rant from Boll:

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Nw-e2hQvm4A&rel=0&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Nw-e2hQvm4A&rel=0&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

[Trazalca]

Traz, thanks for the video.

The whole time I watched it I was wanting him to say "Hear me now und believe me later" or offer to pump us up.

:lol:

181931 Total Signatures

Honestly, I don't care how long it takes. Hope springs eternal, dude. Keep hope alive!

[mckracken]

did he say he wanted real names and addresses so that he can track us down and rip us apart?

one million real names and addresses? what?
oh well Uwe, everybody knows my real name and my website... track me down, we'll have German Chocolate Cake and Toaster Strudles and then we'll make house of the Dead III, ok? Just let me call the shots on this one!

[Bill_the_Pony]

I still say he should be put forcibly in German Gay Porn. His first starring role will be in Shindler's Fist.

[Daltons Chin Dimple]

I was number 198316.

This really can be achieved. Post the link to other movie websites you frequent and you can get this madman stopped !!!!

[WhiteKnight]

Do you really believe he'll stay true to his word?

[mckracken]

not for a second.

[Trazalca]

201953 Total Signatures

So, it looks like it's taken 6 days to get from a few thousand to this.
I have to say, though I would've like a much faster response, it really hasn't slowed
down yet. It's been steady as she goes. :)

[neglet]

You guys know that each signature is like another stroke on this jackass's johnson. Some people like any kind of attention.

I just don't go see his films. They sound stupid.

[mckracken]

they are stupid.

[WhiteKnight]

You guys know that each signature is like another stroke on this jackass's johnson. Some people like any kind of attention.

I just don't go see his films. They sound stupid.

All true, Negs. Still, if it means he'll keep posting insanely funny rants on YouTube to break up the monotiny of my 8 hour work day, I say bring on signature 1,000,000.

[Jakester]

I briefly had a wonderful mental image of Negs stroking a johnson...then she chopped it in half like so many cinderblocks.
I cried like a little baby.

[Bill_the_Pony]

There, there, Jakester.

~sprinkles Jakester with Johnson Baby Powder~

[WhiteKnight]

Yeah, just be thankful it wasn't your johnson she was chopping!

[Trazalca]

221364 Total Signatures

:popcorn:

[KingVoyeur]

Is it slowing down?

[mckracken]

that was exactly my question.

[Trazalca]

Oh my. I read this, and I still cannot decide how to feel about it.

From SciFi.com-

Stride Wants To Gum Boll Up

Stride gum announced a tongue-in-cheek promotion in connection with an online petition to stop schlock director Uwe Boll from making more movies.

The gum makers said they would launch a campaign in support of StopUweBoll.org to halt the German filmmaker from adapting any more video games into films such as his BloodRayne and Dungeon Siege movies.

Boll has said that he will stop making movies if the petition achieves 1 million signatures; as of this writing, the total was a bit more than 240,000.

Stride said that if the petition reaches the required 1 million signatures by May 14 at 5 p.m. EDT, each signer will receive a digital coupon good for a pack of gum, downloadable on May 23.

"Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we've been looking for ways to return the favor," Gary Osifchin, Stride North American marketing director, said in a statement. "And what better way is there to get gamers' backs than by helping them rescue their cherished video games from the clutches of Uwe Boll?"

There's no way that number will reach a million in 6 days.
The campaign ads would have to be ridiculously repetitive in
a wide margin of markets for it to maybe, just maybe, reach the half-way
mark. Still, you gotta give Stride credit for trying to stoke a little more
fire under this behemoth of a belly. :smirk:

And btw, for those that care, as I do, the number stands at this
posting with 252328 Total Signatures. :popcorn:

[TrekSucksHard]

I doubt that he would quit even if there were 2 million signatures on that list...

[Trazalca]

You're probably right, Trek. But there's no harming in hoping. :)

And oh yeah, speaking of which, guess who made number 9
on the most hated list of internet celebs?

Nine most hated. (http://www.switched.com/2008/05/06/nine-most-obnoxious-people-on-the-internet/)

:smirk2:

268445 Total Signatures!

[Trazalca]

Oh yeah. I LOVE this. :D


From IMDB.com-

Movie Reviews: Postal

Uwe Boll remains on the critics' firing line with his latest film, Postal. Bill Stamets in the Chicago Sun-Times writes: "Accusing Postal of bad taste gives it too much credit. Shock calls for craft that Boll lacks." Writing in the New York Times, Nathan Lee calls the movie "infantile, irreverent and boorish to the max." In the Los Angeles Times, Mark Olsen comments that Boll "creates such a bizarre, garish spectacle that it is almost tempting to give him credit for being something of a misunderstood artist after all. Almost, but not quite. Postal is largely just a byproduct of Boll's self-promotion, rendering the film itself, in essence, beside the point." Michael Harris in the Toronto Globe and Mail can barely disguise his contempt for the film. "This reviewer is not easy to offend, but is very easy to bore," he remarks. "And I was bored out of my tree for most of Boll's lamely conceived, cliché-ridden debacle."


Critics Go Postal Over Boll Film

The only film producer challenging Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with a new release this weekend is the critically despised German director Uwe Boll, who has managed to find 17 theaters across the country to show his R-rated Postal. It's based on a video game about a man who "goes postal" and begins shooting everything and everyone in sight. The movie includes scenes of the the 9/11 hijackers crashing into the World Trade Center while discussing the virgins they're sure to win when they arrive in paradise. Another scene shows Osama Bin Laden and George Bush holding hands as they walk into a mushroom cloud. When virtually every major theater chain, including AMC and Regal, the nation's two largest, turned it down, Boll distributed it himself, sometimes even renting theaters, but even many of the theaters that have agreed to show it are only doing so at odd hours. "We're running in Austin only at midnight at the Alamo. How are you going to do box office if you're not going to play five times a day?" Boll asked in an interview with MTVNews.com. In the New York area, the movie is only playing in outerborough Brooklyn.


If there ever was a case to ADD MORE RECRUITS TO SIGN THAT NEAR-MONTH OLD PETITION, THIS IS IT!!!

It currently stands at 281655 Total Signatures!

Come on people! There has to be more out there. :)