Wisconsin Bans Necrophilia

[KingVoyeur]

How desperate are you if you have to find a corpse to do it with?

Wisconsin bans necrophilia (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,379223,00.html)

[Bark]

Pretty desperate. I would just spank my monkey . . . and cry. At least that's more respectable. :D

[KingVoyeur]

Hey, at least those guys were conscientious enough to bring a box of condoms... :headscratch:

[Jakester]

not just condoms, you need lube, too.
Dead chicks don't self-moisten.

Well, that's what I hear!

[Al-Dog]

Reminds me of a joke.

Two women are working in a funeral home. One woman is a bit fidgety, and the other asks her what's wrong.

"Ever since my divorce, I haven't had sex," she says.

"Honey, why don't you take advantage of the guy who just came in? He's hung like a horse a died with a full-on hard on."

"Oh, I could never do that. Besides, it's my time of the month."

"Honey, is isn't like he's gonna mind!"

The woman refuses, because she could never do something like that. But as the night goes on, the need gets worse and worse. Finally, she goes into the morgue, finds the erect fella, and climbs on. She's going at it fast and furious, when all the sudden the man grabs on to her and they both come.

"I thought you were dead!" the woman shouts.

"I was until you gave me that blood transfusion!"

[kah]

:lol:

Well, have you seen the dating stock around here?

[Jakester]

I've seen Kah.
I want Kah.

[kah]

Baby, there's only one of me to go around.

You'll just have to wait your turn.

[Senormac]

Sick bastards.....!!!! oh, not you kah....uh, not cuz of you.....the necro thing......wait....you're not a zombie are you??

[Jakester]

You got a thing for zombie women, Lurch?

[Senormac]

No goof.....cuz if she was a zombie then I guess all the Necro freaks could be lusting after her too.

[kah]

Bbbbrrrraaaaaiiiinnnnnsssss!

[fastcar]

"Honey, why are you divorcing me?"

"Necrophilia is illegal."

"So?"

"You just lie there."

[Trazalca]

Eh, it's been too long. I think I'll rant.

__________

Okay. So, from the title alone, it had me thinking.
Just how long did it take them to come to this conclusion to ban it?
Really. Were there any misgivings that came up before deciding
on the ban? And of all places, in the land of cheese.
It's the year 2008 people. The age of technological and digital enlightenment.
And it took them this long to catch on and decide?
Let's see if I can figure this out. Wisconsin has been officially a part of the union
since 1848, after spending time being nothing but a freakin' territory.
Okay, so they were a territory for a dozen years before
saying, "What the heck? We'll join up.", and became a state.
Definitely an early sign of hesitancy leading into an oblivious case
of lethargic procrastination. Guess they were so hypnotized by the
cheese making process, which does take years to work up and perfect,
they finally got their heads out of the cheddar cellars and said,
"Oh crap! I totally forgot. Um, yeah. Sure. Okay. No problem."

Okay, fine. Let's say that becomes their M.O. when it comes to
coming around to making a final decision on anything. Another sad sign is,
according to the history notes, the Bennett Law controversy,
which made English the official speaking language used in their
schools. This was in 1889.
Let me get this straight. They finally paused the cheese processing
mills of Wisconsin just long enough to decide in 1848 that they wanted to
become a state of the Union, only to come around FORTY-ONE years
later to enact a law that says, "You know. I think we need to speak English in school.
I mean, isn't that what everyone else is doing? C'mon. It's a gimme."
Here, we see the sad sign of lethargy growing LONGER before coming
to a final decision.

Of course, a quick scan of their history shows development
and decision making that finally appeared to catch on with the times,
and with the rest of the country, at least.
Then in 2008, after this heinous act occurs by 3 men that look like they were
cookie cut from the same alien autopsy patient, they decide to ban necrophilia.

Somewhere along the way, between the cheese wheels and the plumbing pipes,
a lapse in common sense was festering. They had to wait for the crime to occur
before coming around to banning it. Before then, what in the heck were they thinking?
Was it something in the cheese? Was there a clog in their piping?
Was there a terribly bad case of mental constipation going on that prevented them
from arriving to this ban after so long?
"Eh, you know, this is just wrong. Um, yeah. It's wrong. Ban it."

I fear terribly for all the victimized corpses in that state over the last 160 years up
until now. How tragic. I mean, really.
I'll never look at a bowl of mac & cheese the same way ever again. (sniff)

[Intelligent_Design]

Well there goes my only reason to ever visit Wiz-Can-son.

[Al-Dog]

Hey, at least those guys were conscientious enough to bring a box of condoms... :headscratch:

I'm glad that they were concerned about unwanted pregnancy.

We don't need any more zombie babies.

[kah]

You know, Traz, it is extremely hard to offend me.

But seriously. Let's just say that rant was unworthy.

Of your effort and our time reading it.

[Bill_the_Pony]

This whole subject is dead to me. :(

[fastcar]

Maybe this ban on necrophilia was a little too premature because the Packers pretty much fucke Favre.... and rightly so.

[Jakester]

This thread's gone stiff.

[omicron]

am I the only one who saw this and thought, "Welp, there goes Jakester's last and best chance at getting with Kah?"

Anyone.....anyone? :lol:

[Jakester]

<raises hand>