Descension

[KingVoyeur]

Ok, this isn't a story, it's the beginnings of a screenplay I've been working on. This is the 4th or 5th rewrite in about 3 years, and it's finally a version I'm happy with. It's called Descension, and it's loosely based on Dante's Inferno. I'd be happy to hear feedback from people, especially those who have actually read the book. Oh, and if anyone is wondering about the title, I know it's not in the dictionary, but I figure that if "ascension" is a word, then "descension" can be too! Anyways, here's the first 4 scenes. (And sorry about the weird format, it won't let me post it like a normal script for some reason.)

SCENE 1

FADE IN

EXT – PRISON GATES – LATE AFTERNOON

Fade in to shot of the setting sun hanging in the sky like a blood-shot eye. Switch to ECU on DANIEL’S face. His eyes are closed, and he’s asleep. He is a young man in his early/mid 20’s. There’s a large bruise on his head, and some blood is dried around his left nostril. He moans softly, as if he’s having a bad dream, and a shadow falls across his face.

VIRGIL
(Voice off-screen, still ECU on DANIEL’S face)
Wake up, Daniel.
(Silence for a few seconds, then a hand comes into view and slaps DANIEL on the face)
WAKE UP!

DANIEL moans again, rolls over, slowly opens his eyes, and comes face-to-face with a charred skull, the mouth hanging open in a silent scream. He gasps and rolls the other way, only to find himself looking into the empty eyes of another burned horror. He rolls onto his back and looks up. He sees a menacing figure standing over him, seen only in silhouette with the setting sun behind him. DANIEL scrambles to his feet. The sudden rush of blood to his head makes him woozy, and he reels, trips, and tumbles down the pile of charred corpses he had been asleep on. He rolls to a stop at the bottom, and turns over to watch the figure approach him. DANIEL’S vision clears, and he can see VIRGIL clearly now. VIRGIL is wearing a dark blue uniform that doesn’t seem to fit quite right and black boots. He looks to be in his 40’s. DANIEL, disoriented, scrambles backwards.

VIRGIL
(standing over him)
Get up.

DANIEL
(eyes him suspiciously, then slowly climbs to his feet)
Who...who are...where...


DANIEL slowly backs away from VIRGIL, then turns to run away, and is greeted by a horrifying sight. He is in a large courtyard. A few barren, withered trees line the thick stone walls surrounding the courtyard. Scattered about the interior are large piles of corpses, similar to the one he woke up on. Before him rises a massive gate. A cornerstone at the bottom of the gate reads “Erected 2100 AD”. DANIEL approaches the gate. He looks up to read the inscription on the top of the gate, which reads “ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE”, and doesn’t watch where he’s going. Suddenly, several large hungry-looking dogs leap at him, snarling, driving him backwards. Luckily for him, the dogs are tied to the walls next to the gate by thick chains. DANIEL stumbles backwards, trips over a skeleton, and falls onto his back. He curls into a fetal position, shaking.

DANIEL
What...what’s happening? Why...
(trails off)

VIRGIL’S shadow falls over him again. DANIEL looks up to see VIRGIL extending his hand to help him up.

VIRGIL
You need to get up, Daniel.

DANIEL
(looking up at him, confused)
How do you know who I am?

VIRGIL doesn’t answer him, just holds out his hand. DANIEL struggles with what to do, then decides to take VIRGIL’S hand, who helps him to his feet.

VIRGIL
I’m surprised you know who you are. Right now, it would be in your best interest to follow me.

DANIEL
Follow...you? Why?

VIRGIL
(looking around)
No more questions. We need to get moving.

DANIEL
No! I’m staying right here until I know what’s going on.

VIRGIL
Suit yourself, but in my opinion, that would be very...
(glances at a nearby pile of corpses)
unreasonable.

VIRGIL turns and starts walking down a small road towards a large archway at the far end of the courtyard. DANIEL stands there for a while, bewildered, glances at the same pile of corpses, then starts to follow him cautiously. He slowly works up the courage and catches up with VIRGIL.

DANIEL
Who the hell are you? Why should I go along with you?

VIRGIL
(turns and looks DANIEL in the eye)
You don’t really have a choice. If you want to get out of the Rift you’ll have to follow me.

DANIEL
(stopping dead in his tracks)
The...Rift? But...but I haven’t done anything wrong! I haven’t done anything to deserve to go to prison!

VIRGIL
(continues walking)
Well, you’re here now.

DANIEL
But I didn’t do anything!

VIRGIL
(stops, shaking his head in annoyance, then turns back to DANIEL)
It is not my job to judge your actions on the outside. My job is just to get you back there.
(turns and continues walking)

DANIEL
(catches up to him)
Wait a minute, your “job”? What the hell are you talking about?

VIRGIL
I was hired to find you and extract you.

DANIEL
Extract me? Man, you make that sound a helluva lot easier that it’s gonna be. Hell would have to freeze over before anyone gets out of here.

VIRGIL
The road ahead is going to be difficult enough as is. Your cowardice is not going to make things any easier.

DANIEL
(stops walking)
Whoa there buddy, I’m no coward.

VIRGIL
(eyes him for a minute silently)
I truly hope not.

[KingVoyeur]

EXT – PROCESSING YARD – LATE AFTERNOON

The two arrive at the arch. DANIEL stops and stares in amazement. The path leads from the arch down a hill to another large courtyard. The layout is similar to the first one, with one exception. The courtyard is filled with live people, apparently prisoners, all milling nervously about. The prisoners are both male and female, ranging from young adults to older men and women. Surrounding the perimeter are armed guards dressed the same way as VIRGIL. At the far end of the courtyard is another archway, but this one is dark and foreboding, like the mouth of some giant monster waiting to devour anyone who wanders too close. To one side of this archway is a tall podium, where a dark figure is seated. Next to the podium is a strange chair-like machine with large wires protruding out the back of it. As DANIEL and VIRGIL watch, the dark figure seated at the podium motions to a nearby guard, who shoves a young man forward and pushes him down into the chair, where another guard straps him in. One of the guards then goes over to a switch next to the device.

DANIEL
(whispering to VIRGIL)
What are they doing?

VIRGIL doesn’t respond, just watches the scene unfold. Below in the courtyard, the guard looks up at the figure on the podium, who gives a brief nod. The guard pushes the button, and for a moment, nothing happens. Then, the person in the chair tenses, lets out a loud yell, and starts to writhe like he’s trying to break free. As soon as it began, it ends, with the seated figure slumped over. The guard unstraps him from the chair, gets him up, and walks him over to a bench near the dark archway. He sits him down and walks away without even restraining the prisoner. The reason for this lack of restraint becomes apparent as the prisoner just sits there like a zombie, blankly staring off into space. One hand slowly rises to absent-mindedly scratch at the back of his head. The guard returns to the chair machine and the process starts over with a new prisoner.

DANIEL
(silent for a few moments, then quietly)
What the fuck was that?

VIRGIL
You don’t want to know.

DANIEL
Look, you said we were getting out of here. Why not just go back the way we came?

VIRGIL
(turning to him)
If we tried to go out that way, we’d be killed before we took a step past the gate. The only way out is through.

DANIEL
(looks at him for a second)
Before I go any further, Mr. Cryptic, at least tell me your name.

VIRGIL looks at him and raises an eyebrow.

DANIEL
You want me to trust you, right?

VIRGIL
(glances over at him, then back at the courtyard below)
Virgil. And I don’t need your trust to do my job.

DANIEL
(extends his hand)
I’m Daniel...oh, wait, I guess you already knew that. How did you know that?

VIRGIL
(ignores him)
We need to get moving. Just keep your mouth shut and let me handle things. Come on.

With that, VIRGIL begins walking down the path to the perimeter of guards. DANIEL watches him go, then hurries to catch up. When they reach the perimeter of guards, VIRGIL suddenly grabs DANIEL by the scruff of the neck and begins roughly shoving him through the crowd, shouting as he goes.

VIRGIL
(yelling angrily)
Ok, move aside you trash, before I beat the shit outta ya!

DANIEL
(in a harsh whisper)
What the hell are you doing?

VIRGIL
(smacking DANIEL on the side of the head)
And you, you had definitely better keep quiet. I’ve had it up to here with that mouth of yours!
(in a harsh whisper)
Play along if you want to live, you idiot.

The pair makes their way through the crowd to the podium, the chair machine, and the dark archway. VIRGIL pushes DANIEL right past the surprised guards and towards the archway, when he is stopped by a menacing voice from above.


MINOS
(in a hissing voice)
And just what are you doing, guard?

VIRGIL stops DANIEL roughly and looks up at the podium, shielding his eyes against the sun’s glare.

VIRGIL
Minos, sir! I’ve got orders to take this one straight to Level 3, sir!

MINOS
(descending from his perch as he speaks, ending on the ground in front of the two)
I don’t care what your orders are, soldier. No prisoner gets past me without having a turn in my little chair. They all need to be put in their place.

MINOS is tall and thin with gaunt features. His uniform is similar to VIRGIL’S and the other guards, but his is all black and he wears a red flame insignia on his left shoulder. He looks to be about VIRGIL’S age. DANIEL suddenly notices the similarities between VIRGIL’S uniform and everyone else’s, and eyes VIRGIL suspiciously.

VIRGIL
I’m aware of the procedure, sir, but I’ve got orders to take this one straight to the bottom...undamaged.

MINOS
Oh, you’ve got orders do you? Mind if I take a look at them?

VIRGIL
I’d be happy to sir, it’s just they want this one right away, and you know how unhappy the higher-ups get when they don’t get their way. I wouldn’t want to get me or you in trouble, sir. You know how...creative they can get with their punishments.

MINOS
(eyes VIRGIL suspiciously, glances at DANIEL, then turns back to his podium)
Very well, but I would advise you to watch your step from now on.

VIRGIL
Yes, sir.
(pushing DANIEL forward again)
Move it!

DANIEL
(under his breath at MINOS)
Dickhead...

MINOS whirls around, shoves VIRGIL out of the way, grabs DANIEL and shoves him into the chair, which has a hole in the headrest with a tangle of wires behind it.

MINOS
(strapping DANIEL in)
Something you should have realized before you opened your mouth, young sir, is how creative I can get with my punishments.

VIRGIL
(starting forward but stopped by another guard)
Now just a moment...

GUARD #1
Minos, sir, the chair’s not aligned to him yet!

MINOS
(to the other guards)
Get back! This young whelp needs to be taught a lesson.

MINOS finishes strapping DANIEL in, then walks over to the switch.

MINOS
The boys in Level 3 will just have to use a crazy one, or get another specimen.

MINOS laughs crazily and pushes the button. DANIEL tenses, waiting for whatever comes next, but nothing happens for a few seconds, and he relaxes slightly. That’s when it hits him. The wires behind the chair shiver and writhe like snakes, then a sharp pain like a knife sliding into the back of his head. DANIEL’S vision explodes in a dizzying array of color and lights, and images too quick to make out flash before his eyes. As quickly as it starts, it finishes. A pain like something is being wrenched out of his head shoots through DANIEL, then it’s gone, and he slumps forward in agony. He barely feels the straps loosening from his wrists, nor does he feel himself slide out of the chair onto the dusty ground. He does register someone slapping his face, and he cracks open one eye to see VIRGIL kneeling over him. He hears VIRGIL and MINOS speaking angrily, but their voices sound soft and distant, like he’s hearing them from inside a deep cave.

VIRGIL
(under his breath)
Come on, Daniel, wake up...
(angrily at MINOS)
They aren’t going to be happy down there.

MINOS
To Hell with ‘em. It’s my job to process this scum and determine where they go, not theirs. Just get him out of my sight.

DANIEL feels VIRGIL gently pick him up and start walking. The light grows dim as they enter the archway, then everything goes black as DANIEL loses consciousness.

[KingVoyeur]

FLASHBACK – INT – DANIEL’S PARENTS’ HOUSE – EVENING

We’re moving through a hallway in a small house. Everything that follws in the flashback is in slow-motion and black and white. Family pictures are on the wall, showing DANIEL with his MOTHER and FATHER and the family dog. All of them are smiling. We come into a kitchen. Light is streaming through the window above the sink. The kitchen is spotless. We turn towards an open doorway. Above the doorway is a plaque that reads “Home Sweet Home”. The doorway appears to go into a living room, but before we can go in, the woman from the family pictures in the hall rushes in. It’s DANIEL’S MOTHER, and she’s crying. She’s closely followed by DANIEL, who appears to be trying to comfort her. There is no sound. DANIEL seems to be trying to persuade his MOTHER of something, but she just keeps shaking her head and stamping her foot. DANIEL continues talking to her as he puts on a coat. From one of the pockets he pulls out a gun, checks to make sure it’s loaded, then puts it back in his pocket. He also grabs a large sign leaning on the wall next to the door which reads “END THE CORRUPTION – START THE REVOLUTION!” and starts to open the door to leave. DANIEL’S MOTHER rushes forward and grabs his arm to stop him, but he gently pushes her away and walks out the door. She follows him out and stands on the step. We begin to hear her calling his name as he gets in a waiting car filled with dark figures and drives off. The sound of her calling his name begins to get louder and slowly changes to VIRGIL’S voice, which is stern and gentle, yet still sounds like it’s coming from some distance away.

VIRGIL
Daniel.
(silence)
Daniel!

DANIEL’s vision begins to clear, and he can see that they’re in a small room lined with dusty shelves and crates. VIRGIL is leaning over him.

VIRGIL
(we can hear relief in his voice)
Good boy, you’re coming around. Wouldn’t do me any good for you to go and die.

DANIEL starts to try and sit up, his vision still a little blurred. He raises his head to look at VIRGIL, and is shocked to see his MOTHER standing behind VIRGIL. She is standing so DANIEL can only see her profile. She turns towards DANIEL, who gets a horrific shock. One side of her face and part of her head is gone. All that’s left is a mass of red tissue and bone fragments, like something took a bite out of her head. DANIEL reels and blacks out again.

[KingVoyeur]

EXT – PROCESSING YARD – TWILIGHT

As the scene fades in, we see MINOS hunched over his podium, reading figures off of a computer screen built into it. The light from the screen gives his face and eerie, demonic look. The courtyard is devoid of people, MINOS having sent them all through the chair and to the next level. He is grumbling to himself, when suddenly the computer screen flashes and a loud booming voice echoes across the courtyard.

WARDEN
(angrily)
MINOS!!

MINOS
(almost falling off his perch)
Yes, Warden! Yes I’m here. What can your humble servant do for you?

WARDEN
I understand there was an incident earlier?

MINOS
Oh, that. It was nothing, sir. Just an unruly prisoner. I installed his H-chip and sent him on his way, along with that arrogant guard. He should begin feeling the effects very soon.

WARDEN
Where were they going?

MINOS
It’s my understanding that he was wanted in Level 3 for...whatever they do down there.

WARDEN
My people in level 3 have all they need for now. Are you certain?

MINOS
Yes, sir. That’s what the guard said. Do you wish me to track them down, sir?

WARDEN
No, no. Don’t do anything now, but keep your eyes open for any suspicious occurences. I want no disruptions in my prison! Warden, out.

There is a click and the WARDEN is gone. MINOS sits back on his perch and thinks for a minute. Then he sits up and begins going through files on the computer until he comes up with a security camera shot of VIRGIL and DANIEL. He looks at the image for a long while, stroking the screen.

MINOS
Well, well, looks like we’re not finished yet...

FADE OUT

[kah]

I am really enjoying this so far. Keep going. Man, you make that sound a helluva lot easier that it’s gonna be. Hell would have to freeze over before anyone gets out of here.
This is the only line I don't like. Too cliche. I have to say that I haven't read Dante, too busy reading books that aren't depressing, but I get the idea of where you are going with this. Oh, and I want to know how the uniforms don't fit. Are they too small, too big? Are they irregular, with one long sleeve, and one short? Everything else so far, great imagery.