Landover Baptist Mail Bag

[MPG]

The web site of the Landover Baptist Church used to be one of my favorite websites. For those who haven't heard about it, it is intended to be a parody of fundamentalist Christian churches, people who take every world in the Bible (specifically the King James Version) literally, people who condemn others based on out-of-context Bible quotes, etc. The site has become somewhat boring, because they are really too "over the top" nowadays, so they are less funny than they used to be, but the best part of the site is still their "mail bag" where they post the angry hate emails - many of them by people who believe that the web site is actually for real.

Just a few mind-boggling examples:

"blacks are black bc there skin gets burnt from the sun... we are white because the world needs to be diverse."
And there I had thought that skin color was genetically pre-determined.

"I have come to the conclusion that you guys must be liberals."
Apparently, this guy has come to the conclusion that the authors of the web site must be total idiots, so they must be liberals. I guess that to some people, the word "liberal" has nothing to do with political opinions.

"It's almost as if someone is posting this stuff to cement ideology AGAINST Christianity!"
But apparently only "almost".

A mail from a wiccan: "I am only going to set you straight this once otherwise we will cast a spell a day on you so will sufer for your crimes against humanity." followed by "We are nature based peaceloving religion ." and "a true wiccan would never harm anyone"

"Please tell me this is not true: These Deacons served as volunteer test cases and several of them are now hospitalized with permanent hardening of the penis."
Someone please tell that person that it is not true, because it really does sound very true, doesn't it?

"they should close this website cause there is nothing good in it and they should kill who ever make it cause he's an assh*le"

i thing you are jewish.... only jew could make fan of church, God and bible...
I must be jewish then...

Have you heard the quote"judge not lest you be judged?" followed by Your web site should be charged with hate crimes.
I think I've seen quite a few mails that start with "judge not..." only to end with something like "You should all be shot".

"i am a Christian and have been playing World of Warcraft since beta 2, that now 2 years." and "i personally have led 25+ people to Christ in the game"
Now I'm really happy that I don't play WoW. I guess I'd spend all my time trying to kick his character's ass. With magic, too (because he points out that he refuses to play magic-based characters).