Section Two: COINCIDENCE

[UNCLEagent]

Not very many people realize this: Goldfinger is my favorite Bond film.

The book is enjoyable, if not sillier. The book, however, does carry one of the more memorable sayings. Two actually, if you include "Some love is fire; some love is rust. But the finest, cleanest love is lust." But we're not talking about that right now, so we can disregard that.

I simply love the cheesieness and simplicity of "Once is Happenstance; Twice is Coincidence. Three times is Enemy Action." They even named the sections of the book accordingly!

And now, I find that this gem is paralleling my life. Ooooo.

I honestly cannot recall the last time I changed a tire on my car. I think it was during a Republican administration. A Non-Bush Republican administration. Really.

So there I am at work last week, leaving early to visit a doctor. And viola! A flat tire!!! Shit happens - no big, I place my mini donut spare on the car and make my way to Firestone for two new front tires.

Horror of horrors - I have what they call a "Performance Tire" on "Performance Wheels". Never mind that city driving in Portland never allows for "performance driving" unless you consider swerving to avoid cracks, potholes, and cyclists "performance".

Gone are the days of $45 Walmart tires - these pups start at $130 each. Okaaaay. Just focus on the big picture and pay the man, right?

So here I am, one week later. I come out to my car and viola!!! Flat tire Number Two. On the rear! So.... another switcharoo with my donut spare and another trip to Firestone. Two new rear tires.

I now have four new tires.

And I am wondering - Coincidence?

Or Enemy Action?

I ask myself, "Who'd want to keep spiking my tires?"

A voice replies, "Jealous husbands! Outraged chefs! Humiliated tailors! The list is endless!"

[Kara Milovy]

Very funny. But you're only up to coincidence. A third flat...

That is probably Fleming's single most famous quote. It turns up everywhere, and is used by people who have never read a Bond book.