The Gainax Bounce Effect -

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The Gainax Bounce Effect

By His Lordship Chaos     -

[Cue the Super-deformed versions of Dark Schnieder & His lordship Chaos suddenly popping up and taking over the column!]

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: ^-^ "Ohayo! Welcome to another installment of 'Ask Mister Uber Exploder Wizard!' We're here to explain to you readers the how's and why's of Anime."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: "What?! I thought you brought me here so I could get a hentai scene going with Tia Noto Yoko and Arshes Nei!"

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: [sweatdrop!] "Ano...."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: "EXODUS!!!!"

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"


SD His lordship Chaos-chan: --;; [smoky li'l ranter] "Feeling better now?"

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: ^^ "Much, thank you. Now then, I'm sure there are those of you otaku out there who have no idea what the term 'Gainax bounce' really means. Well, all I have to say to you losers is--!"

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: "Might I remind you this is a rated G column, Dark."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: [throwing an irate li'l hissy fit] "Kuso! You never let me have any fun."

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: [shaking his head] "I don't believe this. Anyhoo, the origins of this term comes from Studio Gainax's 1988 animated production, Gunbuster."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: "During the opening credits of the OVA, you get to see the show's heroine, Noriko Takaya, bounce up the road."

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: "Um...she was walking up the road in that scene."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: "Was I referring to her legs?!"

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: o.O;; "Aiya."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: "Now then, let's review: Noriko's ample demonstration of her braless status in that opening scene resulted in the coining of a new Anime term."

Both: ^-^ "Gainax bounce!"

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: "Okay, I've explained what it means. Now I get my Arshes Nei hentai scene or what?"

SD His lordship Chaos-chan: "Note to self: next time sign on Nadesico's kawaii Ruri-chan for this explanation segment instead of a testy, oversexed demon sorcerer."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: [priming another spell] "You dare mock me! That's it! Get your little ranting ass over here so I can kick it!"

SD His lordship Chaos: [panicky li'l ranter!] "KYAAAAAAAA!!!!"

SD Ruri-chan: --; "Baka baka."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: ^^ "Saaaaay, your kinda cute. Whaddaya say after I torch this guy with a Venom spell, you and me go have some Monochrome Trouble?"

SD Ruri-chan: "Don't even think about think it, fang-boy."

SD Dark Schnieder-chan: o.O

[End of the obligatory explanation bit!]


His lordship Chaos returning once more.

Note: all you otaku who start giggling incessantly like a schoolgirl at any mention of the word "bosom" should leave immediately. This is a serious rant of mine, and should be treated with the utmost respect. Now, that having been said....

CUE THE BIG BREASTED ANIME BABES!!!, I lied. Again. But I note that the viewer attentiveness for this column has suddenly skyrocketed.

As I have just demonstrated, the Gainax bounce is indeed one of the most popular token gags you find present in Anime. Many times you find it an ongoing topic as to the measurements of a well-endowed young lady.

In the Plastic Little OVA, poor Tita laments about how her breasts are so small despite her being 17 years old. And likewise, in the Maho Tsukai Tai OVA series, we get to see Miyama, president of the high school manga club and eternal rival of our heroic magic-users club, step off the bus...and then the rest of her steps off the bus after.

Now certainly we need to hold some sort of standard for comparing the Gainax bounce of various Anime babes. How is this possible, you might ask yourself. The answer is simple: measuring Gainax bounce is akin to the Richter scale for measuring earthquakes. And so I present to you the first working prototype of the Gainax Bounce-o-meter!

Lina Inverse would no doubt qualify for a 1.0 on our Gainax Bounce-o-meter. One of the biggest gags in the Slayers series is how she's mistaken for a boy because she's...oh, how did Gourry once put it? Because "she's built like a surfboard."

Lina Inverse: [stomping into the rant] "I heard that, buddy! MEGA BRAND!!!!"

His lordship Chaos: --;; [sitting in front of a detonated computer monitor] "I see we're still lacking efficient security despite last week's fateful Sailor Naga incident."

Now bosom size obviously alters the choice of accompanying sound effect. Goldenboy's Kintaro Ooe nicely summoned up a 7.5 bounce sound when he first encountered the computer company's Madame President: "Boingy boingy boingy!"

And then you get the ones that shatter any form of possible bounce measurement, such as Naga the White Serpent, the Ogenki Clinic's resident nurse, or Tira & Chocolate Misu (especially in the Bakurestu Hunter OVA's). The closest possible sound that's created by these women could be described as this:


Interesting experiment to try here: when one of the 9+ Richter ratings on the Gainax bounce-o-meter is in effect, adjust the VCR to play the jiggling bosoms at a slow frame speed. It's quite hypnotic to watch; almost like staring at a lava lamp. Rumor has it that insane megalomaniacs are using this technique to brainwash people into becoming loyal soldiers. Of course, that doesn't fully explain how Cammy got brainwashed in the Street Fighter II movie; perhaps M. Bison just put a mirror in front of her during morning calisthenics.

Or am I just ranting again?

But we should also look at the result of the Gainax bounce upon hapless bystanders as well. The effects have quite the range, since this really depends on the reaction of an individual who witnesses even the slightest jiggle of a woman's chest. We'll work with the male population here--though as Rule 3 proves, females are usually quite free to act on their own impulses.

First, you get the ingénue boys; upon seeing the Gainax bounce in full effect, their noses twitch seconds before exploding in a geyser of blood. Not the ones you want to be standing next to if you've got Kekko Kamen running around, I can assure you. Then you've got the ones who react in the opposite fashion: they proceed to chase after said bounteous ladies. Obvious contenders (read: perverts) include Carrot Glaces, Happosai and City Hunter's Ryo Saeba.

So that in essence is the science behind the Gainax bounce.

Now I personally find it astounding that none of the more well-endowed women in Anime seem to exhibit any back problems whatsoever--despite how their cup size has to be running into triple letters by now. You look at most of the cast of the Burn Up W OVA's, and it's a wonder those buttons on their shirts actually manage to not pop off and kill someone.

But then again, this is Anime. I guess it doesn't really matter if an Anime babe's chest, by all rights, should have it's own gravitational pull. After all, the Gainax bounce is present in Anime for one thing alone: fan service.

That is my ranting, and I am sticking with it. Ask anyone.


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