The Geek Life: Phantom Menacing Comments -


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DaForce1 1/12/2012 6:29:56 PM

 The prequels all suck pretty much equally. But if I had to choose one that didn't suck as much as the rest, that would be Attack of the Clones. 

TPM introduced mitachlorians as an explanation for the Force, taking away the mystery that it had for the fans in the first place. Add to it the slightly veiled idea that Anakin might actually be the son of the soon-to-be Emperor, and the fucked up notion that the Jedi wouldn't help buy Anakin's mother out of slavery even after he helps them with their mission, and you've got a badly plotted movie. Plus the reason for the invasion of Naboo is about as exciting as watching CSPAN. And Qui Jon goes out like a little b!tch. He's supposed to be the best of the Jedi swordsmen next to Mace, and yet he gets taken out with a weak block and behind the back sword thrust. Lame.

AOTC is mainly Jar Jar free, which is a big plus, and really the only bad parts of it are the 'explanation' of how the clones were requesitioned in the first place, the very painfully wooden love scene on Naboo, and (yet another reason to hate Jar Jar) the extremely rapid rise of the chancellor to Emperor. 

ROTS was so rife with badness, that I think of it more as another Star Wars parody than anything else. The way Anakin so easily changes his mind to join the Emperor and turn to the dark side is hilarious. Honestly, when Sidious just suggests that Anakin should kill Dookie for revenge for his arm, instead of the years of jedi training kicking in telling him that might be a bad idea, he thinks, 'Sure, why not?' There's also the way Mace goes out like a punk that is just laugh out loud funny. Order 66 also makes no sense from everything we've seen from the animated Clones Wars series that shows the clones as free thinkers, not brain-washed group thinkers. As for the person who was wondering why Anakin and Kenobi didn't just use the Force to remove the robots from their ships, well, that's due to bad writing. Remember, in either ANH or ESB, Vader force chokes an Admiral who is on another ship. So there isn't a barrier to the Force, apparently. Add to this the way Padme just dies (apparently due to a 'broken heart') while giving birth is almost as funny as Franken-Vader waking up for the first time (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!). 

Bad all the way around. There were easy ways to fix things, but since Lucas isn't into listening to anyone else, we got what he gave us.

EagleManiac 1/12/2012 7:02:12 PM

Sorry, DaForce, but I strongly diagree about the Lightsaber Battle at the end of TPM between the Jedi and Maul. Remember, except for some duels in the Expanded Universe, which cannot be used in cotext of the movie, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have never faced a Sith Lord the likes of Maul before. His lightsaber was unique, and his fighting skill was VERY aggressive. Qui-Gon was classically trained and used BALANCE in his aproach to Sword Fighting. Maul broke through that by wearing him down with his relentless style and eventually all it took was a "weak block and behind the back sword thrust". Remember, Maul was keeping BOTH Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon busy by himself, and one on one, against an OLDER opponent, Maul was too much, even for someone like Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan lost his BALANCE after Qui-Gon was struck down, and used a very aggressive  style, but Maul ALMOST beat him too!

I really think Lucas messed up MORE by killing off Maul so quickly in the Trilogy. I feel Maul shuld have been the constant threat and nemesis of Obi-Wan and Anakin throughout the Trilogy, instead of goofy Count Poopoo or General Grievous(even though he's a pretty cool character), which would have sharpened Obi-Wan and Anakin's skills greatly, and made their duel even more believable at the end of RoTS. Both of them constatly figthing Maul in various places and encounters, and never really gaining ground against him. Anakin could have lost his arm to Maul near the beginning of EP3 instead, and then Obi-Wan dispatches Maul sometime later, in a bad ass battle much like what we got in TPM. Then, Anakin would have JEALOUSY of seeing Obi-Wan defeat someone who he wanted revenge against, and a hatred could have built from that, along with the Emperor's "influence" and dark festering in Anakin's mind about losing Padme. Then this whole notion of Obi-Wan taking Padme away from him would manifest more realistically, and cause Anakin to crack.....that would be much like what the Tusken Raiders did to his Mother. Anakin would have suffered from loss, defeat, jealousy, hatred, and an evil bastard like Palpatine meddling in his emotions and "stirring the pot", which would then lead to him being easily pliable to accept "The Dark Side" and IT'S Balance.  All that would have been so much more believable and made EP3 even darker, and made the Prequel Trilogy better, IMHO.

But, alas, that's not what Lucas chose to do, and I feel the Prequel Trilogy suffered from too many plot holes and bad scripting/story tags. The acting I could live with. The acting in the Orginal trilogy, especially in ANH and RoTJ was not very good, but the movies still worked great!


EagleManiac 1/12/2012 7:18:51 PM

Violator, yeah, when I saw that in one of the various "making of..." books, I sat there saying, "WTF!!!! Why the HELL did you use those piss ant little Ewoks?!?!? Damn, Return could have been BAD ASS, and possibly even BETTER than Empire!"

Lucas did it with RoTJ, and did it again with the Prequels. EP3 is still a great romp, but it could have been SOOOO much better!

As I said before in previous Star Wars threads, I feel Lucas should have STARTED the Prequel Trilogy with the EP3 story-line, still have Maul, but instead of a 15 minute segment of the Jedi Purge, or a weak "Clone War", he could have expanded BOTH through the trilogy. He could have started  EP1 with that opening Space Battle in EP3, expanded Anakin/Padme love story, but intertwined with constant "interruptions" from Maul and Sidious, and then show the Jedi Purge in EP2 in a greatly expanded story arc, that is melded with the rise of the Clone Wars. We could have had Maul and Sidious controlling the behind the scenes causing decent, and then using those same Clones to destroy a vast number of Jedi in EP2! Then EP3 could finalize the downfall of the Jedi, the rise of the calssic "storm trooper" from those Clone Troopers and Anakin would have his "betrayal scenes" and become Darth Vader. Then end the Trilogy with the final extermination of the last Jedi in the Galaxy and the building of the first Death Star using Wookie Slaves(and other non-human races, of course) after the fall of Kashyyyk. That would have tied in better with the Original Trilogy, especially if Lucas had done what I said in RoTJ, with it being the Wookie Homeworld that we have the second Death Star being built around as an insult to those "pesky Wookies"! Man, that would have been a blast!

Hobbs 1/13/2012 6:13:58 AM

Eagle, did we watch the same movies?  Opening battle of ROTS better than battle at end of Jedi?  What did it for you?  The droids jumping all over their ships or was it when they crashed landed in the crusier and jumped out lightsabers ablazing to mow down the roger roger droids?

The lightsaber duels in the originals will always be better because there is no wire work or CGI making characters do impossible things.  Watch the duel with Maul again and when Obi Wan jumped in the air to cut him in half...some of the worst wire work I've ever seen...though makign them CGI in ROTS to do back flips, etc wasn't any better.

However, we are all entitled to our own opinions.  If I could erase the prequels from the Star Wars myth I would be saying an Anakin Yippie while skipping down the street. 

EagleManiac 1/13/2012 7:02:08 AM

Hobbs, agreed. We all have our own opinions.

mellowdoux 1/13/2012 1:41:47 PM

 "Storm's coming, Ani!!!"

DougRed4 1/13/2012 3:37:52 PM

FWIW, I agree with most of what Eagle's suggested.  I think most of us fans would have appreciated seeing more of the wiping out of the Jedi and the Clone Wars.  Also, the space battles and lightsaber clashes were head and shoulders better in the prequels (even though I like the original trilogy far more).

The only thing I agree with DaForce about is the midichlorians.  That was Lucas' biggest mistake/blunder in my mind.  The Force was such a mysterious, supernatural thing before he went all scientific and tried to explain it.  Your suggestion of there being something between Palpatine and Schmi Skywalker is the first I've ever heard of such a thing (and I've been regularly following Star Wars stuff since 1977!)

scytheofluna 1/15/2012 5:26:10 AM

 Shellie, wow.... Just wow.  I am a happily married man but right now, in this moment, my heart belongs to you.


Very astute observations, but I think you're far from alone as far as lady genre geeks go.  I think many of them avoid forums such as this because some of their male counterparts can be slobbering jackasses.  As a longtime advocate of brilliant ass kicking females, I appreciate your insight.

scytheofluna 1/15/2012 5:32:55 AM

 I never got the prequel hate.  I'll never understand why the hell they wasted what was arguably the most intimidating & visually compelling villain in the Star Wars saga by killing him off at the end of TPM.  Dearth Maul was awesome.  They killed Jango Fett off prematurely too.  This trilogy would've greatly benefited from the inclusion of Asaaj Ventress from the Clone Wars series, but she didn't exist yet.  Gee can you tell the baddies are my faves?  They gave Boba a punk "death" (he survived) in 'Jedi too.  Why's Lucas always killing the best villains in the worst ways?

scytheofluna 1/15/2012 5:37:37 AM

 Darth.  Frakking auto correct.


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