Get Your Post On

By: David Michael Wharton
Date: Monday, May 09, 2005

lknight wrote: "Ok, AD is no FG but...
That review of American Dad's first show is extremely exagerated. It seems more of an essay about being "sarcastically cool" (with hot-shot Something Awful-esque analogies) than a serious and objective review of the show.
The stuff it says about the ""wacky"" characters, come on... It ain't nearly as bad as that. I think the reviewer tried too hard to be funny (hey, just like show!) and gave AD the lowest grade just to showoff how much he loves Family Guy. Not cool at all."

The idea that I need to bash one show just to demonstrate how much I like another is a very internet-y way of thinking (i.e. "BABYLON 5 must suck because I like TREK so much"; "The new BSG must suck because I like the original."), but the shows are made by the same people. That said, just because FAMILY GUY has given me many hours of hilarity, doesn't mean they the new show earns a free pass. I love Faulkner's THE LIGHT IN AUGUST. On the other hand, not so fond of THE SOUND AND THE FURY. But the idea that I'd exaggerate my indifference toward FURY to add an extra sheen to my praise of AUGUST is not only untrue, but it doesn't make any sense.

Secondly, isn't writing a "serious" review of AMERICAN DAD a bit like hiring a funeral director to host a children's birthday party? It's supposed to be a funny show: I hardly think it invites the sober and weighty analysis that might attend, say, an episode of THE WEST WING. While comedy writers certainly make an effort to develop characterization and storytelling and whatnot, none of that matters if the show isn't funny. Contrast that to a drama, where plot and characterization and dialogue (and yes, even humor) must all work toward creating an engrossing narrative that keeps drawing you back week after week.


Nobody cares what happened last week on AMERICAN DAD, except to the extent that those events did or did not tickle the funnybone. There may be plot holes the size of grain silos; each episode may blatantly contradict the continuity of the episode before it; any given storyline may not, under harsh examination, make a damn bit of sense..… but we'll forgive all of that and more if our sides hurt by the closing credits. So far, AMERICAN DAD hasn't fulfilled that most basic obligation. Like I said, it made me chuckle a few times. But from its pedigree, I expect more.

As to my use of exaggerated humor to make a point, I will offer only this:

"To me [Edgar Allan Poe's] prose is unreadable--like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death." -- Mark Twain

Joey k wrote: "I do agree with you about American Dad. The preview was really funny, and then we get stuck with the actually premiere, which has aging jokes about the danger levels and such. Above all are the tired character stereoypes, aside from the fish and alien, which have been overplayed and have no gray to make them funny. The alien amuses me and I am a fan of the main character, whose flaws make him quite humorous, however, the cast as a whole is just not that funny. If the jokes were kept up with the times, it might be funnier. If I were them I would go the way of Team America and just plaster the entire political spectrum. While it might be risky, everyone loves it when you make fun of everyone else."

Yeah, the TEAM AMERICA comparison is a good one. Just given the basic set-up for DAD, it seems ideal for skewering sacred cows on both sides of the red state/blue state line. And we have gotten some of this in the two aired episodescoincidentally, those were the moments that actually made me laughbut there is so far too little of that and too much of the alien's plan to replace the drapes. Yeesh.

Chris L. wrote: "hi there, I read your TV wasteland every week. how come you don't list DOCTOR WHO? it airs every tuesday night on CBC. I live in Canada. I'm sure that lots of American cities get the CBC on cable. when I visit Seattle they get the CBC."

Good question, Chris. Ultimately, it just comes down to a matter of practicality. I typically try to keep the listings limited to shows that are broadly available throughout the States. Not everybody has HBO or Showtime or even FX, but in most places, the option is at least there. CBC, while it is available in certain select locations (or via satellite, I imagine), isn't particularly widespread outside Canada. And outside of CBC, WHO isn't yet airing anywhere here in America, so far as I know (I'm looking at you, Sci-Fi Channel). If and when it does find a Stateside home, I'll absolutely start listing it. Sorry if that sounds isolationist of me, but, much as I like WHO, if I start listing it, I'd really have to start keeping an eye on other British programming for any interesting genre shows, and the listings I have now already take several hours to pull together. So, I'll happily list any overseas shows that readers want to write in and plug, but I'm not going to add them to the regular weekly listings.

Besides, any die-hard WHO fans out there with high-speed connections can probably already find ways to watch the new series. Not that I advocate that sort of thing, of course.

Finally, a special shout-out to kallisious666, who responded to last week's sophomoric jabs (I try to allow myself no more than one totally immature response to hate mail per month. It's good for the skin.) by…well, by inviting me to perform unwholesome activities with a cloven-hoofed farm animal, actually. But to his credit, he did also take the time to list his favorite shows and try to make a case for them. For that, and for being a relatively good sport, he gets a gold star.

For the record, however, kalisciousness, I did try to find a goat, but the local game warden assured me they were all still sedated and strung up in your basement bondage swing.

Nuts, there I go over my limit again.


The Week Rerun

I've got a fever! - If you've ever heard someone request "more cowbell" and in response cocked your head to the side like a confused dog, Boston.com offers up the history of the SNL sketch that became…dare I say it?…a phenomenon. (Which reminds me, I need to order one of them "More cowbell" t-shirts…)

If the sitcom wasn't totally dead yet, this ought to finish it off. - Brian Austin Green. Freddie Prinze, Jr. Sitcom magic.

It's only a matter of time before this turns up as a Firefox plugin - For your convenience: the number of "f words" used in DEADWOOD thus far.

And on a related note… - Amen. That's all I'll say about that.

This ought to stir people up - Possibly even more so than the ULTIMATE IRON MAN/gay marriage flap a while back. Mr. Orson Scott Card explains why TREK is a bad thing.

Now if they can just get Wesley Snipes to come out of his trailer - Are you ready for BLADE: THE TV SERIES? Spike TV thinks you are.


Next week, we'll talk about STAR TREK and STAR WARS and the terrible perils of franchise. The week after that, I'll launch into report cards for the assorted shows that are wrapping up their seasons in the weeks to come. Assuming something more interesting doesn't sidetrack me before then.

Ooh, look! Shiny things!

What brought you the televisual joy this week? Drop me a line at tvwasteland@cinescape.com and let me know. Keep your head and hands inside the television, folks…


MONDAY, MAY 9

ROBOCOP (7 PM CST, WGN) A friend of mine recently pointed out that, having seen THAT 70S SHOW, it's almost impossible to watch this movie now, because you keep expecting Clarence Boddicker to call Robocop a "dumbass."

24 (8 PM CST, Fox) Palmer plays spin doctor as the Chinese try to discover who was behind the raid on their embassy. Meanwhile, here's a real-world cliffhanger for ya: will 24 be moving to NBC next season?

LAS VEGAS (8 PM CST, NBC) "Magic Carpet Fred." I think I've seen that guy on late-night public-access cable.

DIGGING FOR THE TRUTH (8 PM CST, History Channel) "Mystery of the Anasazi." Whatever happened to the cliff dwellers?

MEDIUM (9 PM CST, NBC) "Penny for Your Thoughts." Allison's dreams lead her to a 1991 murder that seems to have ties to something much older and more sinister (not the creepy pedophile guy from FAMILY GUY).

CSI: MIAMI (9 PM CST, CBS) "Vengeance." Horatio and company investigate the murder of a former class president at his 15th high-school reunion.


TUESDAY, MAY 10

THE FRIGHTENERS (6 PM CST, Sci-Fi) I'm not afraid to admit that Jake Busey gives me the willies in this flick.

GILMORE GIRLS (7 PM CST, WB) "Blame Booze and Melville." That's funny, that's the same thing I told the Coast Guard after my drunken harpooning rampage.

ROBOCOP 2 (8 PM CST, WGN) It's nearly as crappy as the third one, but at least this time you get to see Murphy rip out a cyborg's brain and smash it against the sidewalk.

SCRUBS (7:30 PM CST, NBC) "My Changing Ways." Someone will leave! Someone will die! Someone will give birth to an alien baby! Okay, actually only the first one is true. (Season finale)

HOUSE (8 PM CST, Fox) "Love Hurts." Cameron blackmails the good doctor into a date. Meanwhile, John "Harold of HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE" Cho shows up and has a stroke or two. (Too many sliders?)

VERONICA MARS (8 PM CST, UPN) "Leave It to Beaver." Veronica finally solves the murder of her best friend, which has been the spine of the first season (turns out it was Killer Bob). (Season finale)

LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT (9 PM CST, CBS) "Blood." It's thicker than water, you know.

BLIND JUSTICE (9 PM CST, ABC) "Doggone." Detective Dunbar dons red tights and kicks Bushwacker in the crotch.


WEDNESDAY, MAY 11

LOST (7 PM CST, ABC) "Born to Run." While Michael and Jin work to prepare the raft for launch before monsoon season hits, Kate's flashbacks fill us in on the significance of her cute little toy plane.

SMALLVILLE (7 PM CST, WB) "Forever." Clark faces off against a Smallville High student who can turn people to stone. Got mirror?

ELVIS (7 PM CST, CBS) In the conclusion of this gripping, two-part miniseries, Elvis must struggle to keep the deadly secret of wormhole weapons from falling into the hands of either the Scarrans or the Peacekeepers (three guesses which DVD I'm watching while writing this).

ROBOCOP 3 (7 PM CST, WGN) A ROBOCOP without Peter Weller is no ROBOCOP at all.

REVELATIONS (8 PM CST, NBC) Massey and Sis-Jo the nun go looking for a book quaintly entitled "The Birth of the Antichrist." Amazon offers it half-price if you buy it along with Tobin's Spirit Guide and the Necronomicon.

ALIAS (8 PM CST, ABC) "In Dreams…" The return of Arvin Clone stirs up a dark secret from Sloane's SD-6 past. In addition to the whole manipulative terrorist thing, he also once sped through a tollbooth.

JACK & BOBBY (8 PM CST, WB) "Legacy." The McCallisters find their long-lost pappy in a Texas prison, and whaddya know, he's Lou Diamond Phillips. Plus guest spots from no less than Gore Vidal and Norman Lear, as well as Tim Robbins as the voice of President McCallister. (Season finale)

LAW & ORDER (9 PM CST, NBC) "In God We Trust." A gun found during a fire leads the investigation to an unsolved killing and a suspect whose attorney claims is a changed person since conversion to Christianity.

CSI: NY (9 PM CST, CBS) "The Closer." Tonight's episode brought to you by EPSN: First, a sports agent is run down by a delivery truck. Later, a Red Sox fan is found dead near Yankee Stadium.


THURSDAY, MAY 12

THE O.C. (7 PM CST, Fox) "The O.Sea." Seth's graphic novel finds a fan in none other than… guest star George Lucas!

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (8 PM CST, CBS) "Iced." College students found both post-mortem and post-nookie, plus a dead guy in a crop circle.

ERASER (8 PM CST, TBS) That's what you'll wish somehow had taken to the screenplay if you actually sit through this groaner.


FRIDAY, MAY 13

STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE (7 PM CST, UPN) "Terra Prime." Archer tries to foil the plans of Terra Prime, while that selfsame organization tries to force Trip to construct a doomsday weapon. To be followed by…

STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE (8 PM CST, UPN) "These Are the Voyages…" Set alternatively 6 years or 200 years after the previous episode, ENTERPRISE's finale wraps up, for the time being, TREK's long televised legacy. But don't worry: there's still another feature film for them to screw up. (Series finale)

NUMB3RS (9 PM CST, CBS) "Man Hunt." Don and Charlie track escaped convicts. Using math. (Season finale)

DINNER FOR FIVE (9 PM CST, IFC) John Favreau breaks bread with Martin Scorsese at the Lake Placid Film Festival.


SATURDAY, MAY 14

STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (6 PM CST, Cartoon Network) A marathon of the first 25 eps to get you primed for EPISODE III.

ALIEN PLANET (7 PM CST, Discovery) A faux documentary tracks a voyage to the distant planet of Darwin IV to study its menagerie of strange, alien life. Features commentary from Stephen Hawking and George Lucas, amongst others.

ARSENIC AND OLD LACE The name Frank Capra doesn't typically inspire thoughts of dark comedy, but this 1944 tale of two sweet-hearted but homicidal old ladies proves that the combination works just fine.

THE FALLEN ONES (8 PM CST, Sci-Fi) Casper Van Dien versus a giant mummy. Abbot and Costello would be so proud.


SUNDAY, MAY 15

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (6:30 PM CST, Fox) "Mrs. Tri-County." Lois enters a beauty pageant. Need I say more? (Season finale)

THE SIMPSONS (7 PM CST, Fox) "Home Away from Homer." Flanders moves after Homer humiliates him one too many times, but both wind up the worse for the move.

CHARMED (7 PM CST, WB) "Death Becomes Them." The sisters face off against somebody called "The Alchemist", whom I'll presume has nothing to do with the Flash supervillain of the same name.

THE SIMPSONS (7:30 PM CST, Fox) "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star." Bart attends Catholic school and Liam Neeson guests as a priest. (Season finale)

FAMILY GUY (8 PM CST, Fox) "Blind Ambition." Quagmire manages to save a woman's life, and an envious Peter decides he needs to do something equally memorable.

LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT (8 PM CST, NBC) "My Good Name." The disappearance of a municipal worker points toward a former police commissioner.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (8 PM CST, ABC) "Goodbye for Now." Things remain desperate. Expect continued desperation right up through the series finale, whenever that is.

DEADWOOD (8 PM CST, HBO) "The Whores Can Come." Tee hee.

AMERICAN DAD (8:30 PM CST, Fox) "Francine's Flashback." A spare thermite bomb Stan keeps in the basement goes off, incinerating the goldfish and the alien. No, wait, that's just the episode I keep envisioning in my head when I smile.

This concludes our broadcast.