6/30/2008 2:09:15 PM permalink
I've enjoyed Grant Morrison's comics for years. I love reading his stuff, and I love selling it.
Lately though, like over the past few years, I feel like I've really seen him take a walk away from the quality projects that caused me to fall in love with his big head full of crazy ideas. More and more his comics seem shallow, conceived in haste, and for some reason, full of super-heroes. More and more it seems like he's just phoning it in, and not really trying to tell lasting stories capable of entertaining intelligent, independently-minded readers.
I'm being a little harsh on him here, but it's just because the only books I can read these days are manga. I can't even read DC comics anymore. Final Crisis? It was like he was sticking his dick in my eye sockets while wearing a Kirby-Condom that'd been passed around the offices for the past 50 years. I couldn't see or understand anything - all I felt was pain and humiliation. And Kirby Dots.
But hey, don't take my disses too hard. I'm really just here to talk, you know? I don't want to put the guy's head on a spike, I just enjoy taking part in the conversation. Grant's a fun writer, and a smart guy. I just wish he wasn't writing for the fanboys, the nasty little hobgoblins of this literary scene. I wish he was writing for me
, because I'm soooo cool
So, just for fun, here's some old ideas I'd like to see Grant Morrison using... These are toys he used to play with, that he doesn't anymore, that I wish he would.
Oh Grant Morrison -
Where Art Thou?
1) Flying cars.
Flying cars kick ass all day long.
There was an awesome flying car at the end of his X-Men run, and I miss it. I really, really want some flying cars in my comics.
I want more chicks with dicks and alternative sexual appetites in my comics.
If I was interested in seeing conventional people & relationships fictionalized, I'd be watching TV.
I'm sick of seeing comics about middle-aged people getting married, and I'm sick of hearing that Americans are scared of same-sex kissing. We're moving into the future folks, and if you can't deal with it, you might as well just stick your genitals in a lead box and get used to living with fear and hatred.
And if all those little Wizard-reading homophobes can't deal with it, they can go take a good long hard suck on my pair of 20-side dice.
3) Eat the Rich.
Stop justifying people in fancy suits and start dragging them down into the blood and semen laced mud of the Eternal Woodstock.
Again, if I wanted to hear about how fucking cool
rich people are, I'd be watching TV. A big point of comics is they're cheap to produce and cheap to purchase, making them an excellent literary form for poor people, not just middle-class wankers looking for something to wipe their asses on between purchases of video games and SUVs.
End of the day, I'd be happier reading stories about insurgents overthrowing the bourgeois. I'd rather read about heroes who steal & burn sports cars, than the jerk-offs who own them.
4) 21st Century Terrorists.
I loved Marvel Boy. He ate trash, dressed like a militant club kid, and abused authority figures. Finally, a superhero who set an example I wanted to live up to.
5) Good musical references.
I remember when it used to be Naughty By Nature & Kula Shaker. Now if we're lucky it's the Beatles. If you're going to reference a band, you might as well reference a good band, and not just whatever overplayed pop or horribly obscure shit you think might mess with North Americans.
6) Ontological Theory
I miss having Trans-dimensional Aliens & String Theory brought up in my comics.
I miss hearing about the new ways in which physicists were allowing us to examine our own souls.
Does free will exist in a quantum vacuum? Should it? I don't know for sure, but I know that I love reading about it.
Here's a real warning to Mr. Morrison - just because Lost is a great TV show doesn't mean that TV should be the be-all/end-all of sci-fi. Show the world how it's done, man! Show these people what real intelligent science-fiction is really like!
Do something with a comic that can't be replicated in any other medium!
Yeah! So there you have it. I could go on, and I'm sure I could go back and make some better choices, but life
isn't about going back and making better choices. It's about the eternally echoing echoing
- the infinite moment of clarity so fierce and demanding that it snaps
the mind and annihilates
the ego. The lights go down, your pants come off, and everything is buzzing
, but you just keep reminding yourself, that everything you love comes with its own built-in needles
. You'll get what you want, but we'll get ours too. By hook
or by crook
. We'll get it all.
"when i grow up i want to be astronaut
selling drugs on the side & not getting caught"
Tales Of The City Streets
, The World's Most Comfortable Couch!
, SHIT LIST!!