The Herrings are busy navigating the Saint George Coordinate this week, so I get to write the column again. I'm trying to write proper this time, no swearing or slang, but it would be tons easier if I could just sing to you.
Did you know that the patron saint of England was named after a Sufi Master called Khidr, the Green One? The Sufis are an ancient mystical Islamic order what wander the world to bring peace and enlightenment to humanity through love and poetry and music. They inspired the Troubadours who inspired the Alchemists who inspired the Rosicrucians who inspired the Priory of Sion who inspired the Ordre du Hareng Rouge.
Khidr was like an immortal Robin Hood prototype who dressed in green and performed good deeds, like slaying dragons. The emblem of his secret group was a palm tree. He transmuted into our Saint George when the Crusaders brought him back with them from their pilgrimages in the Holy Land.
After this, medieval chivalric Orders of Saint George were created in Spain and Hungary and even the Order of the Garter in England is protected by Saint George. Saint George's Day was declared to be an official Christian feast day in 1222.
The poetic green side of Khidr got transmitted into icons of men with leaves and foliage growing out of their mouths which were carved into the vortexes of churches and cathedrals. I think this is probably because of the timing of Saint George's Feast Day when Spring is well rampant, all the trees are going mad over here right now. The famous Rosslyn Chapel has over a hundred Green Men carved into it which is the highest number of Green Men carved into one church that we know of.
Auntie Stella says that Saint George is the terrestrial correspondence of the Archangel Michael. They are both slaying dragons, but you can tell the difference between them because Michael has wings.
The Herrings navigate the Michael Coordinate on his original feast date of May 8th, instead of the official date of September 29th. Stella says that this is because the sun is exactly midway between the Vernal Equinox and the Summer Solstice between Saint George and Archangel Michael, so this time of year is like one great big Herring festival. She says that the Red Cross of Saint George represents the four fixed points of the sun on the solstices and the equinoxes as it moves through the solar year.
The Queen celebrates Saint George in the posh chapel at her castle in Windsor, but the Herrings go to a secret location which I'm not allowed to talk about, but that's why I get to write the column again this week.
I also wanted to say thank you to Michael the Maniac for his kind words and explain to Buzzkill that the Year Rend is a secret sacred annual ritual performed by accountants, innit? Auntie Stella says that I'll be able to perform this ritual after I have my hit record and get my own accountants.