Hentai Express - Mania.com



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Mania Grade: D

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Info:

  • Audio Rating: B+
  • Video Rating: B-
  • Packaging Rating: B
  • Menus Rating: B
  • Extras Rating: B-
  • Age Rating: 18 and Up
  • Region: 1 - North America
  • Released By: Adult Source Media
  • MSRP: 24.95
  • Running time: 30
  • Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
  • Disc Resolution: 480i/p
  • Disc Encoding: MPEG-2
  • Series: Hentai Express

Hentai Express

By Chris Beveridge     February 26, 2009
Release Date: February 17, 2009


Hentai Express
© Adult Source Media

Trains, mecha, stones powered by orgasmic power… it’s so ridiculously bad that it’s almost approaching funny. Almost.

What They Say
Our pleasure is your defeat ...
You may be a genius scientist, but you cannot contend with our powers at their highest. The more I am aroused the stronger I get! You will not hurt our city. Do not try to trick us with your harem of women and tentacle sex machines. The robots are trained and will defeat you!

Zetsarin Oh, Engage!

The Review!
Audio:
Adult Source Media continues to provide new English language adaptations for their adult releases which is a plus considering the way the market is as of this writing. The bilingual presentation for Hentai Express is fairly standard though with a stereo mix encoded at 192kbps. The episode does have its big action moments but it’s fairly muted overall and without much in the way of directionality as it wants to be very full in its feel. It’s not bad by any stretch but it doesn’t really stand out all that much either. Dialogue is clean and clear throughout and there are some areas where there’s noticeable enough placement, but it’s not a show that stands out much in this way either. We didn’t have any problems with dropouts or distortions during regular playback of either language track.

Video:
Originally released in 2008, the transfer for this single episode OVA is presented in its original full frame aspect ratio. Hentai Express has a fairly decent look to it but it’s not without its problems as at times it feels like a bit of a budget hentai release. There’s a bit of noise in some of the early scenes, noticeably during the blues in the background skies in the night, but there’s also a bit of line noise during various panning sequences. Colors in general look good but that’s more for the foreground character animation than the backgrounds. It is free of cross coloration and any seriously noticeable blocking but it doesn’t have as strong of a feeling as I would have guessed if it was made from better source materials. At best, I’d say it feels a bit soft in a lot of places and that impacts it.

Packaging:
Hentai Express at least has an interesting cover as it centers around Nozomi in her skintight and minimal outfit where she’s all excited and other characters are just behind her. There’s plenty of ample skin and fanservice to be found here while the background is darker with the city skyline and some mecha action. It’s got some of the right things to it with good colors and appealing character designs so it merits a second look. The back cover expands on this with several large shots along the bottom that are explicit and a brief summary of the basics of what little plot there is. Add in the strip through the middle with the basics of what to expect – full motion menus! – and it’s the standard we get from Adult Source Media. They do include a reversible cover with non-explicit images for the back as well as tweaking the front so that the egg vibrator isn’t visible along Nozomi’s crotch.

Menus:
The menus use the character artwork from the front cover which works really well as it sets it against some basic motion backgrounds that you’d expect from any number of decent menu producing packages. It’s not related to the show but it adds in a nice bit of motion to give it a bit more of a professional feeling. The navigation along the left is good as is the inclusion of the “sex scenes only” feature. Submenus load quickly but the disc doesn’t read our players’ language presets. More annoying is that when in the language selection menu, what’s set isn’t highlighted so you can’t be one hundred percent sure that you made the right selection until you get into the show. Everything is otherwise laid out well and easy to access.

Extras:
The extras are the usual we get from Adult Source Media in that there’s several minutes worth of stills from the episode and one of their bonus episodes which is at least hard subtitled this time around.

Content: (please note that content portions of a review may contain spoilers)
Hentai Express, or Lust Train as I believe it’s originally known, is one of those titles where you just have to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Of course, for those that don’t watch much adult anime, you probably think that about the entire genre. But like every other genre, there’s the good and the bad. And then there’s titles like Hentai Express where it’s just above and beyond. In fact, you sit there afterwards and wonder if you really saw what you saw. In some ways, it feels like it harkens back to the days of old since it has tentacles of sorts and it plays to the big over the top feeling. But that’s balanced by the fact that it really doesn’t make much sense and just throws a lot of stuff at the screen.

The plot for this is that in the relative near future, a professor named Sakonomiya is now a very highly wanted person because of what he’s done. And that’s to create a train which travels the country and abducts women off the platform with its mechanical tentacles and brings them into the car itself. When in there, they’re kept in accessible chambers that are lined along the walls where the tentacles abuse and use them in order to generate power for the Orgastone that runs the train and the giant robot that the good professor has built. He only intends to use all of this for his unspecified evil plans but that’s more than enough for the good guys since they want to stop him from abusing the Orgastone.

And that introduces us to the good guys, or good girls rather, which have their own giant robot that they’ve been working on using the basis of what the professor created. This one has a single chamber in which Nozomi is the pilot of sorts as she has a skintight uniform that’s laced with vibrating eggs to arouse her and power their Orgastone. As the professor goes about his mad plans, Nozomi and those helping her work hard to stop him and wait for the right opportunity to do so. What helps them along the way is a mysterious man who seems to know what Sakonomiya’s real abilities are and what it’ll take to excite Nozomi into action so that she’ll reach the right sexual stage needed to defeat him.

There are a lot of adult shows that I’ve written about where writing about them is a lot of fun as there are things to talk about and really go on about. With a title like Hentai Express, I’m left looking at what I write that summarizes the premise and can’t believe that I spent time watching this kind of show, never mind writing anything about it. Yes, Orgastones. Trains that transform into giant robots. Giant robots that have sex with each other – hard. Unfortunately, the robot sex accounts for one of the better sex scenes for the show as there’s actually not all that much here that really titillates. The scene with the women in the train getting the tentacle action is decent but short, Nozomi doesn’t get all that much in the end as it’s more about the foreplay with the eggs and what little else there is in here is pretty much unmemorable. Hentai Express seems like it’s throwing a number of ideas out there but nothing really sticks.

In Summary:
Hentai Express is the kind of adult release that just has me rolling my eyes throughout it. Very little about it is actually titillating and so much of it just leaves you wondering who thought this was a good idea. And who actually enjoys it in an adult way. I can appreciate it as something that’s over the top in ridiculousness but that’s about it. It has some nice designs at times and I’ll give props to any show that has two giant robots banging it hard, but for the most part this left me looking at the countdown timer. Which is really sad for a show that runs barely twenty-three minutes. Hentai Express will sell on its name and that’s a certainty.

Features
Japanese 2.0 Language, English 2.0 Language, English Subtitles, French Subtitles, German Subtitles, Photo Gallery

Review Equipment
Sony KDS-R70XBR2 70" LCoS 1080P HDTV, Sony PlayStation3 Blu-ray player via HDMI set to 1080p, Onkyo TX-SR605 Receiver and Panasonic SB-TP20S Multi-Channel Speaker System With 100-Watt Subwoofer.

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