Mania Grade: B-
Disc Grade: B+
Reviewed Format: DVD
Rated: PG
Stars: John Carradine, Robert Dix, Vicki Volante
Writer: Sue McNair
Director: Al Adamson
Distributor: Image Entertainment
Original Year of Release: 1970
Retail Price: $19.99
Extras: commentary; trailers

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HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS

The cinematic equivalent of a cerebral aneurysm, HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS stands as both one of Al Adamson's finest collage films and a fumigator for ridding the house of those pesky, quipping, intellectual types who won't watch a film past the 10 second mark if it isn't subtitled or by David "tone poem" Lynch or Robert "I f!@*&ing hate everybody" Altman.

HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS was originally a film from the Philippines called TAGANI (trailer available on the DVD) that apparently was unmarketable in spite of having really fake looking dinosaurs (I mean really fake), elephants covered in fake fur feigning they're mammoths (quick, somebody call the ASPCA), bat people, snake people, crawfish monsters and cavemen with fangs due to a bad case of being in black and white. Well, Al Adamson, a man with vision, figured out a way around this. He'd cut the original film down to it's most striking moments, create a new story around the remaining footage, introduce new footage that was in color, and with the advanced technology of 1970 create the "SPECTRUM-X" effect, a colored filter over black and white footage. (STAR WARS has nothing on HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS.) The result was box office dynamite and Sam Sherman's Independent International raked in the green.

As the film starts out we're made aware that vampires are plaguing our cities and that they originated from a far-off planet, the atmosphere of which colored everything with a single hue that could change from blue to green to yellow to red. This might have been valuable information had the film ever bothered to bring up the Earth vampire plague again. Now we're at mission control as a ship prepares to take off for a distant world. After liftoff the ship gets hit with an electrical blast and all the astronauts are scattered about, having apparently failed to wear their safety belts on what looks like deck chairs. Well, the ship needs to be repaired and fortunately they find a planet that is almost exactly identical to Earth, except it's got this strange, ever-changing atmosphere that colors everything one of four different alternating hues. Yep, you guessed it: they're on the vampire planet.

Fortunately for the astronauts and the budget the atmosphere is just like Earth's so there is no need for those pesky spaceman costumes. (Actually, as the film progresses, we find out there is, but that would have run an extra 6 to 7 dollars on top of the 25 cents the producers had already invested in the film.) Once the astronauts reach the surface of the planet via a regular, run of the mill ladder they almost immediately run into the dinosaurs and the warring natives. Capturing a local girl whose appearance changes drastically from when she appears in the original TAGANI footage to when she appears in the new Al Adamson footage they quickly perform impromptu brain surgery on her so that she'll be able to communicate with them. More madness follows.

Yeah, it sounds like a real piece of crap, and, you know, it is. But it's the most lovable piece of feces since Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, and God knows you want to see it. As Sam Sherman points out on the commentary track, these films were sold on content, not story, and who doesn't want to see two lizards fighting on a miniaturized set? Lord knows I do, twice!

Heck, Al Adamson may not be the greatest director, but he puts on a great show. I defy anyone to name a boring Al Adamson picture. You can't, can you? Yeah, well, I understand - you probably could if you knew who he was. But if you did, I promise you you'd be hard pressed to name a single monotonous film he directed. After all, he's the genius behind SATAN'S SADISTS and DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN, which if you'd seen you'd probably say, "Poo poo darling, I must remember not to take the advice of that Hershberger boy anymore. Another evening wasted. Fix me another dry martini and I'll get back to exploiting a minority group and/or a lower income bracket."

Trivia note: This film's cinematography was brought to us in part by the Academy Award winner Vilmos Zsigmond (CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND).

Released by Image Entertainment, HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS boasts a decent print with a few unobtrusive impurities here and there and a nice and sturdy mono soundtrack. In terms of extras you get a fun commentary track from producer and UFO enthusiast Sam Sherman (Al Adamson being long dead), who fortunately talks about the film and not crop circles. Included on the disc are the theatrical trailer and the original TAGANI trailer. Trailer fanatics will be delighted with the inclusion of bits for MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND, BRIDES OF BLOOD, BEAST OF BLOOD, BRAIN OF BLOOD, BLOOD OF THE VAMPIRES, THE BLOOD DRINKERS and a rare promo for the "House of Terror" live horror show (whatever that is). If you're interested in these trailers but not HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS (like that would happen), you can also catch them on the Image Entertainment releases of DOCTOR DRACULA and GRAVEYARD OF HORROR. (Geesh, you'd think they were advertising upcoming releases... oh wait, they are.)