HOUSE OF M #7

By: Al Brown
Review Date: Thursday, October 13, 2005

Or, anyway, I think they do.

I can't be sure because the catalyst here is a person who can completely control reality. We've already seen that Scarlet Witch has the ability to rewire a person's life, bring back the dead and turn Nightcrawler into a leprechaun. So no matter what happens in House of M, we won't know which changes will stick until the end. This core uncertainty - the ever-present ability to overwrite and undo - undermines the drama of what's otherwise a pretty gripping issue.

Previously in the House of M, the Scarlet Witch recreated the world because she thought the Hulk would look pretty with tattoos. Then some kid made everyone remember that the Thing used to be funny and everyone was really upset about it so they headed over to Genosha to have it out with Wanda and, presumably, her dad, who everyone blamed for everything. Magneto always gets blamed for everything, man. Y'know, he was a good guy for a long time too. (And then he was, like, a cloned good guy who made out with Rogue, remember that? Yeah, I wish I could forget it too.)

This issue does feature the big fight, and it's a pretty good one. Except that Rogue's accent is way overdone. So there's hitting, and there's people talking while they hit each other, and Dr. Strange kinda wanders off, which it turns out he has a good reason for it but if I was one of the good guys I'd totally be like, "Dude, I'm getting my ass kicked by friggin Toad here, why don't you stick around?" And then there are several revelations, at least one of which definitely matters, one of which definitely doesn't, one that totally explains something that's been bugging the crap out of me for like two years now, and one of which is that Cyclops is a self-important toolbox. "We can't lose this!" Thanks, buddy, I thought we were fighting Stiltman.

There's some pretty good stuff here. Bendis has slowly gotten better at writing the Big Moments. You know the moments I mean? The Dramatic Line - the look of dawning comprehension or fury or terror on someone's face - the Big Reveal. I love that stuff, man. It's why I buy comic books. (Also: sometimes the girls wear tight clothing.) Bendis used to kinda suck at it; he was really good at the small moments, character stuff, but he wasn't really an epic writer. And you could actually watch him trying to work on it, by teaming with Millar for Ultimate Fantastic Four, and during his brief run on Ultimate X-Men. The latter was largely unsuccessful - Hank McCoy's death was so undramatically handled that I was sure they were kidding for about six months - but it's recently looked like Bendis is getting the hang of it. Bully for him.

Of course, dramatic moments have as much to do with the artist as the writer, and Olivier Coipel's definitely up to the task, despite having a fruity name. There's a lot to cram into this issue, and he does a fantastic job of cramming it all in and still leaving enough room to make the Big Moments really Big. (Sure, there are a couple of panels that are almost completely obliterated by speech bubbles, but...sigh. You play with the Bendis, you get the talk.) There are a couple of moments (unusual for Coipel) where the action is a little unclear, but I shouldn't really complain. At his worst, he's significantly better than a dozen other guys I could name. cough Bachalo cough.

So it's a good comic. Really, it is. And things are starting to pull together, finally. But I'm still left with this nagging problem, that I have no idea which parts matter. Like I said earlier, there are a couple things going on here that're definitely gonna have real-world consequences. But we've got some major events that I know for a fact aren't gonna stick, and that puts all the others into question. The Big Thing that closes the issue, the cliffhanger? For all I know, no one's even gonna remember it in ten minutes.

(Well, we have a pretty big hint about the eventual outcome from the title of the follow-up event, Decimation. I'm betting the plan is to kill off anyone Grant Morrison invented.)

This is the same problem Marvel ran into with Age of Apocalypse a ways back, which took place in an alternate universe. We know there will be changes when it's all over, sure, but we also know that of twenty important-sounding things that happen over the course of the event, only a few will stick. Setting the event in an alternate universe means automatically that most of what happens during the series is irrelevant. Much of what happens will be erased; you only really need to buy the last issue to find out where Marvel's dropping everyone off.

I don't mean to sound completely down on this. For what it is, it's very well-executed; after what I think we'd all agree was an overly slow build-up, it's definitely all coming together now. The writing and the art are largely excellent. I'd even go so far as to say that if you've been on the fence about House of M, waiting for something to start happening, now's the time to start reading.

I'm just saying, don't get your hopes up about Hulk's pretty tattoos.