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Howard the Duck Remake Moving Along Smoothly.

6/13/2008 3:00:59 PM permalink

Tim Burton's Howard the Duck, now listed under the official title, "Tim Burton's Howard the Duck", should be ready to go by Christmas 2008, reported the Fortean Times. Billed not as a sequel, but as a complete reboot of the cinematic adventures of one of the greatest comic characters of all time, Tim Burton's Howard the Duck promises to deliver characters and action on a scale not seen since the release of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. "Howard is one of the most endearing characters of 20th century fiction," producer Richard Zanuck, explained. "This is the story the public has been waiting for. The story of Tim Burton's Howard The Duck." "It's going to be a really exciting picture," Burton said, explaining that the movie would be done with a unique blend of stop-motion animation and live action.
"Basically," the world renowned Pop-Emo director explained, "we'll have the actors performing alongside the stop-motion Howard by having them move incredibly slowly. It's a very painstaking and difficult process, but when you see it all up on the screen, moving as fluidly as real life... Well, lets just say we're pretty sure that we're going to blow the critics away. In fact, we plan to blow their asses right off." The Duck, a combination of claymation and animatironics which bares an uncanny resemblance to the comic book icon, is said to have cost over 20 million dollars, and have over 30,000 independently moving pieces. Staring with Howard will be the usual plethora of big-name Hollywood talents found in Tim Burton movies, including Helena Bonham Carter as Beverly Switzer, Johnny Depp as Turnip Man, and Jack Nicholson as Dr. Bong. Michael Keaton will be reprising his much-cherished role of Batman in what some are already calling "the most brutal and unnecessary death sequence in motion picture history." The voice of Howard will be provided by Shia LaBeouf, who is also in talks with Steven Spielberg to re-dub his original Howard the Duck movie. "It's already pretty clear that Shia is going to be the greatest actor of the next 80 years," Spielberg explained, "so why not just get used to it?"
Sadly, due to recent passing of Howard The Duck's original creator, Steve Gerber, credit for the creation of Howard will have to be given to Alan Moore. "I didn't agree to any of this," Moore was quoted as saying, while chasing reporters off his porch with a large broom. For the score, Tim Burton was heard to remark, "Eh, I dunno. I guess Elfman will just throw his usual shit together."

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Date Joined: August 6, 2007