Random thoughts alert!
I've got an idea for a reality show. Wanna hear it? Too bad. I'm going to tell you anyway.
It's called WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
Twenty-five orphans compete BACHELOR-style for the love of one potential daddy.
Hey, at least when these kids don't get picked they've got something to cry about. "It's back to the orphanage for you little Timmy."
Oh, don't get mad at me. You know Fox is this close to putting a show just like this on the air...
Yeah, so, CBS is planning a spin-off of that lame show JAG. What are the chances that they'll title it CSI: JAG?
The word is that this is BUFFY's final season. I guess it's time. They seem to be running out of monsters to fight, but I sure am going to miss it when it's gone.
I know I'm going to get tons of angry emails for this one, but I'm going to say it anyway. Anyone else think that ANGEL jumped the shark when Connor came back 16 years old?
It pains me to say this but ever since Connor returned from that dimension I've become less interested in the show.
I've mentioned before how much I loved ROBBERY HOMICIDE DIVISION. Well, if you loved it too then maybe you should check out SaveRobberyHomicide.com. I don't know if your effort will work these save our show campaigns so rarely work but it can't hurt. This little piece of info came from Remote Patrol reader Susan. Thanks Susan.
Yeah, so anyway, let me know what you think? E-mail it to me at RedSonia@cinescape.com.
Now, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.
Monday, january 20
Andy and Delia audition for the town's winter musical in tonight's EVERWOOD at 9 p.m. I suspect the musical isn't CHICAGO.
A family is found slaughtered in their house in this repeat of CSI: MIAMI (CBS, 10 p.m.).
The cartoon CLONE HIGH (MTV, 10:30 p.m.) is the story of the teenage clones of famous and historical figures in high school. I've seen it. It's hilarious. You haven't lived until you've seen a horny, drunk, teenage Gandhi.
TUESDAY, january 21
Fox unleashes AMERICAN IDOL at 8 p.m. I know you guys don't like this show, but I can't help myself from watching it. The first two episodes are priceless, filled with really, really bad singers and tons of Simon insults.
Lorelei may have found a new love interest in a guy she met at a business seminar in tonight's all-new GILMORE GIRLS (WB, 8 p.m.). Did I ever tell you that Lorelei is my role model? I wish I had gotten pregnant at 16.
Buffy and Spike establish a boot camp to prepare the potential slayers for combat with the First in tonight's all-new BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.). I suspect we will also find out that Dawn is a potential slayer tonight. Come on, you know it's going to happen.
Lex's plan to bug his father's office goes horribly wrong in tonight's all-new SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). I hate when that happens.
Dutch and Claudette investigate a torture and mutilation in tonight's all-new THE SHIELD (FX, 10 p.m.). Ahhh, torture and mutilation - just another day on the job.
You don't want to miss THE OSBOURNES at 10:30 p.m. on MTV.
WEDNESDAY, january 22
Archer and Trip visit an alien colony in this repeat of ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.). Ummm, don't they do that every week?
Gwen Raiden, the hot chick with the electrical charge, returns in tonight's all-new ANGEL (WB, 9 p.m.).
A rookie cop
TNN has got FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN. Yeah, I know it's not as good as FRIDAY THE 13TH I through VII, but eh, what can you do?
Don't forget to check out tonight's SOUTH PARK (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.).
THURSDAY, january 23
Batdance! USA has got BATMAN at 8 p.m.
J.D. gets a mentor in Dick Van Dyke in tonight's all-new SCRUBS (NBC, 8:30 p.m.). [Insert your own DIAGNOSIS MURDER joke here.]
It's a murder trial but the crew is getting the third degree in this repeat of CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.).
The team investigates the disappearance of a 19-year-old aspiring model in tonight's repeat of WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS, 10 p.m.).
FRIDAY, january 24
Van mentors a rookie cop in tonight's all-new FASTLANE (Fox, 8 p.m.). And somehow this lead to him taking off his shirt and walking in slow motion.
Like totally. WE has got VALLEY GIRL at 8 p.m.
O'Neill is STARGATE SG-1 (Sci Fi, 8:30 p.m.).
Who's your daddy? John might be your daddy in this repeat of JOHN DOE (Fox, 9 p.m.).
Chiana rescues a slave girl from a trade ship, but as her crewmates begin to disappear, she becomes suspicious of her new friend in tonight's all-new FARSCAPE at 9:30 p.m. on Sci Fi.
SATURDAY, january 25
Kevin Spacey is the boss from hell in the hilarious SWIMMING WITH SHARKS at 6:45 p.m. on IFC.
Cha-chunk. It's LAW & ORDER as far as the eyes can see tonight on NBC starting with the original at 8 p.m., CRIMINAL INTENT at 9 p.m. and SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT at 10 p.m.
The Cartoon Network has got a full hour of JUSTICE LEAGUE, starting at 9 p.m.
SUNDAY, january 26
Fox is skipping all its usual great Sunday night programming to bring us a mediocre movie: INDEPENDENCE DAY at 7 p.m.
UPN is giving you a second chance to check out Wednesday's ENTERPRISE at 8 p.m.
Rutger Hauer pops up in this special post-Super Bowl ALIAS at 7:30 p.m. Hauer is Geiger, the man who takes over SD-6 after Sloane suddenly goes missing. Of course, this means nothing but trouble for our heroes the Bristows. Also, Francie and Will hook up. No joke.
Johnny clashes with a psychotic kidnapper in this repeat of the season two premiere of THE DEAD ZONE (USA, 10 p.m.).
Don't forget to check out tonight's all-new OZ (HBO, 9 p.m.).
FUTURAMA kicks off the Cartoon Network's line-up of ADULT SWIM starting at 10 p.m.
Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.