kjsucks6996's Blog

Lord Of The Rings SUCKS!!
(Sat 02/24/2007 12:51pm)

Comments (73)

Ok folks. You've been waiting for it. Now its time for the long awaited, eagerly anticipated blog : Lord Of The Rings SUCKS!! Now if I could put a subtitle on this, it would be : Peter Jackson sucks. Ok, now all of you fanboy LOTR lovers out there pay attention. Cuz this is for you. First lets discuss why LOTR sucks, and then we'll cover another topic. Ugh...LOTR fans. Where do I start, hmmmm lets see. I mean there were just so many things wrong with these films. Of course I guess i can start with the obivous, they were waaaaaaaay too long. I know every single person out there that hates LOTR, have used this argument first and foremost. And why not? They were, waaaaaaaaaay to long. Now Im not sure who the editor of these films was, Im sure Peter Jackson at least oversaw the process. So hes partially to blame. But they should never work in editing again. Now when you edit a movie, ur not suppose to take every single piece of footage that was shot, and use it in the film. Thats just not how its done. However, thats the only thing that i can see could of happened that would explain their dull length. Ok, so theyre 3hrs long, but do they need to be a BORING 3hrs long? I mean walking and walking and walking. I said it before, but Randall said it best, 9hrs of walking? How exciting can that possibly be?

The second thing i hated about these films, and probably the thing i hated the most. Was the unneccessary use of computer generated imagery. Which can only be explained by Peter Jacksons laziness. He wanted to go the easy route, so he just did it all on a computer. And the man IS lazy. I mean look at how fat he was? He was so lazy, he couldnt even work off the pounds, or go on a diet. He got an operation. Wat a lazy bastard. But I digress. And yes fanboys, there was much, much unneeded cgi in those films. Anybody who says that gollum, had to be cgi, is a complete douche. They could of got some small skinny actor to play him. And with a mixture of some practical effects, he wouldnt of looked so damned fake. And then theres the battle scenes. I guess if u have more then 20 people on screen at once, you just have to use cgi huh? Yeah, well I believe GOOD movies like Troy would beg to differ. They used over 1000 extras in their film, and it looked fantastic. I understand the need to use cgi with 10000 people in a battle, But that simply was not the case with LOTR. Just about any scene with more then 20 people used cgi. Once again, a tribute to Peter Jacksons legacy of laziness. Okay, I believe I made my point with the cgi. Any excuse to use it, he pretty much did.

Lets move on to some other points. Like the characters and the dialogue and writing and so forth. First of all, anyone who denies it, is a closet homosexual themselves. I mean these hobbits were soooooooo gay for each other. I mean i couldnt believe it. I honestly thought in one of the scenes they were going to kiss!!! Im serious. I looked away from the screen!! I dont know wat a hobbit is. I dont understand the social ways of middle earth. For all i knew, all the hobbits WERE gay. I got scared and looked away. I really thought i was gonna be privy to some man on man hobbit action. But enough of these hobbits sexual preferences for one another, if they're gay good for them. Lets cover just one small example of some of this crappy dialogue and bad writing i refer too. For instance in the 2nd or 3rd, i dont know which one it was. During a battle. The invincible elf, and the annoying dwarf were fighting and theyre joking around and counting how many people they're killing. Now im sitting here watching this, and im thinking okay, time for a good serious action sequence, this should be good. And these two douchebags, in the middle of this huge battle, possibly about to die(well i guess not the elf, cuz apparently elves are indestructible) are joking around. And if my memory serves me, there is even some dwarf tossing. WTF? Terribly written. And of course lets not forget the ending of the last movie. Or should i say ENDINGS. The movie should of ended about 45 minutes before it did. Instead we got to see a big gay hobbit orgy on their bed. I mean if i wanna see a bunch of short people having sex, i'll go rent backdoor sluts 9. That just had no place in the film. And for the record. Before all you fanboys start yelling and screaming. "Well they were just following the books. Thats how it happened in the books. Thats wat they said in the books." Well then guess wat? The books sucked too. And if they wanted to make the movies good. They wouldnt of followed such crappy books to a tee. They would of changed it. And dont let me forget to cover why it won so many oscars. Its really simple, it didnt win oscars because it was good. A look back at all the best picture winners will prove that. It won the oscars cuz it made so much money. Its not that hard to buy an oscar. Im sure that almost every one of u people that love LOTR, were the same people that said Titanic sucked. And dont deny it. You know you did. Well Titanic won a ton of oscars too. If it sucked, then why did it win? Because it made so much money of course. So all you LOTR fans out there who say it was good cuz it won oscars, better be huge fans of Titanic.

Now I have to talk about my friend Peter Jackson. Oh god how i loathe you Peter Jackson. After this craptacular trilogy. You set out to make another cgi massacre. King Kong. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For wasting another 3hrs of my life. Thank you. I think I actually laughed out loud during the big dinosaur chase sequence. Thank you Peter Jackson for that wonder film. I dont think anyone could of remade King Kong better. Well except for the guy that remade it the first time. And any other person in hollywood. But anyway, thanks for another piece of crap. And now i read that he is attached to the Halo movie as producer? Yes i actually cried when i read that. I openly weeped. I cried so hard that my friend had to hold and console me. It was almost as gay as the Sam - Frodo relationship. But not quite. Why does he have to ruin this? Why does he have to ruin Halo? The only movie Im looking forward to in my entire lifetime, other then spiderman 3. Why? Why I ask you? All i can hope, is that he dies before it actually goes into production. Cuz if he doesnt. I can guarantee you he's just gonna ruin something else. Which is wat he does best. Thanx to him, Im sure the halo movie is gonna be 98% cgi. Master chief will be played by some top hollywood star(which he should be played by a nobody). And just for good measure, im sure he'll throw in a questionable relationship between master chief and sergeant johnson. Just to appeal to his closet homosexuality. I guess ive gotten a little off topic here talking about something that doesnt suck. Halo. But let me conclude this blog, with a brief discussion about LOTR fans. Actually LOTR fanboys should be the term i use. There is really only one main reason why i hate you, LOTR fanboys. That reason is because anytime somebody says....LOTR isnt good, which is rare because if something is popular, everyone else has to like it too. Your response is limited to about two prases. One : your stupid if u dont like LOTR. Or two : LOTR is based on an epic trilogy of books, so if you dont like it, your stupid. It just shows how intelligent you LOTR dorks really are. There was only one good thing that came out of the LOTR films. The hilarious parody on south park. That is it.

It is now time to end this blog. After I say one last thing. A lot of people would like to get there hands on a time machine right? Hell, probably anyone in the world. Im sure theres lots of things people would do with it. Like make themselves rich. Save a loved one who died. Or even try to make the world a better place. But i have to honestly say. If i had a time machine, there is only one thing i would use it for. I would go about 10 yrs into the past, and put a bullet in Peter Jackson's head. Now that may seem a little harsh to some people. But i cant think of a better way to make the world a better place.

Tags: lord of the rings, peter jackson

Comments/Responses

Puscifer • Feb 24, 2007, 01:13pm •

Any semblance of an education would be a good start. Punctuation, Grammar and formatting go a long way. Not to mention you broke the page display (in Firefox anyways).

kjsucks6996 • Feb 24, 2007, 01:27pm •

I must of gotten my point across better then i thought. Instead of arguing my point. He attacks my punctuation skills.

cjclifford • Feb 24, 2007, 08:00pm •

I have to agree with Puscifer. Formatting does indeed go a long way. Paragraphs alone would have helped a lot. Try it sometime.

kjsucks6996 • Feb 25, 2007, 12:03am •

There ya go. Its in paragraph form now. Wow, i cant believe how much better it is now, just because i used paragraphs. This is Harvard material now. Paragraphs make such a different. Fucking retards.

mlaforcer • Feb 25, 2007, 05:52am •

You wanted my attention? Well you have it now you little asswipe! I am about to punch wholes in everything you have mentioned and not only that but I am going too make personal attacks not on only you but your faggot father and your two bit mongering whore mother...I am the last person on this site you wanted to have take a shot at you but your an inbred and don't no any better plus your a noobie to this site and just don't know how bad things are about to get for you...lol

First off you don't have much debating experience, do you? I can tell because you obviously did not do any research into any of what you said plus you left yourself open for many attacks that you will not be able to argue no matter how much your inbred mind might want to try...FANBOYS, These are a bread of people who dress up in costume and show up year after year to conventions and invest all of there time into a particular genera, hence forth TREKIES! We on the other hand are admires of J.R. Tolkiens work and not just us newer generation but a shit load from the 60's also, like your father...

Let's get to the meat and patatoes of it all, shall we little cock sucker?

You and your ignorant cronies will argue that it was to long and that is realy about personal opinion, let me ask you this...if your favorite movie was 3 hours and 20 minutes long would it be to long for YOU? Personal opinion...If they had used every ounce of film in the first movie it alone would have been 9 hours long so no they edited alot of it out...Walking, walking, walking...If I had to go by your thought process then this is what I would of thought of a few movies, here is a few just as examples...In Star Wars all they did was fly around in space the whole time, in King Kong all they did for the first half is ride around in a boat and then in the second half all they did was walk and run around the island Oh and who can forgot about War of the Worlds all they did was walk, drive and then run the whole movie, they did not do anythig else just that...Am I right? of course I am if I am an inbred like you and your father and mother and so on and so forth...Before I go on lets get this out in the open...You went and watched the first LOTR and hated it but then you went and watched the second one and still you hated it but then like the dumb fuck that you are you went and watched the third one and you were, I guess hoping that the hobbits were going to stick each other in the ass or something, who knows . whatever your sick mind was hoping for but then and I can't stress this enough, your fucking retarded ass goes and watches King Kong, a movie from a director you supposedly hate and the only reason I can think of is because you were hoping for some bestiality between Kong and the crew I guess, once again who knows why you put yourself through the agony and pain of watching ANOTHER Peter Jackson movie...

To much special effects Ha? And what was Star Wars? Or Independence day? or Sin City? I can go on and on with a shit load of movies that you probably like that supposedly have way to much CGI...And use a human for Gollum as long as he is skinny? a creature, no human could possably resemble, not even with make up...To call Peter Jackson Lazy shows that your limited intelligence is only good in a community of southern inbreds...Peter Jackson worked 20 hour days and recieved only 4 hours of sleep a night for One fucking year you sad little fucking mammas boy, by the way it is time to go get your diapers changed again...2 years of pre production, 1 year of shooting and four years of post production, that does not sound like a lazy man to me plus all of the hard work his fellow crew members put in to the minatures the armor the costumes the sets the cgi the editing...I can go on and on, and let me ask you how many of your favorite movie stars have gotten liposuction and face lifts?

So the dialog was cheesy Ha? and what was the dialog in the last three Star Wars like? I understand you are a Star Trek fan, I don't know the name of the movie but it is when the saucer half of the ship detaches itself from the rest of it's body because it is going to explode and the saucer half if plummiting toward this planet for a crash landing, can you remember the dialog that Data had when that whole thing was taking place? I bet you do...

Now for the hobbits being gay...If you don't remember let me remind you...Sam got married in the end to the lady he was in love with in the begining, does that refresh your memory? I mean you did go see ALL of these movies even though you hated the first one...lol@ your dumb ass...Oh shit! you mentioned something about an action sequence that was suppose to be a battle scene that you were looking forward to but the elf and dwarf were making it cheesy because of the dialog, well hold on here, I thought you said all they did was walk the whole movie, there could not have been a battle sequence if all they did was walk aroung the whole time, Oh wait a minute there was a battle sequence and I remember the elf and the dwarf coming in at the end of that battle and doing there thing you god forsaken asswipe...You do remember that battle right? it went on for like 25 minutes or so before the elf and dwarf ruined it for you, you filthy cock sucker...Titanic is a great movie so what do you have to say about that? maybe if it involved two guys sucking each other it would have done something for you ha?

You could never come close to being Peter Jackson equal and for that matter, anyones equal...You do not know the hard work it takes because you sit in your parents basement hiding away from the day light getting your diapers changed by your sex changed mother and your probably fat yourself...You are by far the most ignorant cock sucker at this site and you more than likely cannot even look at yourself in the mirror because of everything I just mentioned...You probably do not know what hard work is even if it slapped you up side your empty skull but most importantly I do and can apprectiate those that work hard for what they love and that includes Peter Jackson and just about eveyone else that puts most of there day and night hours into there art but you would not have a clue to what any of that means...

Last but not least you say you would go back in time and put a bullet in Peter Jackson head and I can't even begin to understand that, you mean you would not go back and warn the government about two planes crashing into the twin towers and save almost three thousand people or go back and assasinate Hitler? You belong with Osama and Hitler in Hell just for your ignorance alone with the devil fucking you senseless in your stink brown eye you pathetic little low life...This is what I would have done...I would have warned the government about Osama and then put a bullet in YOUR HEAD...I tell you what, give me your phone number or your address and I will personaly pay out of my pocket my hard earned money to fly out of Hawaii which is expensive and fly out to your home to kick you pathetic little ass 30 different was from sun up to sun down, how does that sound? I have to ask you about your name here at Maniacs...kjSUCKS, that seems to be a little to close to home does it not?I mean I was talking to your dad and he said you do suck, you have been sucking him since you could walk he said and very well, he told me not to tell your mother but I did and she said she knows, because you have been sucking her since she recieved her sex change and that you did it very well, so I guess KJ does suck...lol...I said I was going to personlay attack you
just for being STUPID...

P.S. You mention Troy the movie and it's battle sequence being better...You need to get off the dope you fucking loser...

take some time to think it over and respond so that way I can get another oppertunity to show what a lazy no good, full on ignorant, no better than Peter Jackson, non knowing what it takes to make a movie, full on cock sucker that you are...

How do you like me now?

cjclifford • Feb 25, 2007, 09:19am •

First, regarding your attitude about formatting, punctuation, grammar, and paragraphs. If you want anyone to take you seriously when you post nonsense like this, those things will go a long way in helping you get people to actually read what you've written. Yeah, it's not going to make it "Harvard material" by any stretch of the imagination, but at least it'll be readable.

Secondly, calling someone a "fucking retard" for trying to give you some helpful advice, class act there man, class act. Again, if you want people to take you seriously, grow up. I didn't expect to find top notch grade A literature in a blog, but I would expect it to be a least readable.

And now, just for kicks, I'll actually respond to the nonsense that is your blog on why LotR sucks so much.

While I would agree that Clerks 2's Randall had a rather humorous take on LotR being a series of movies about walking, a whole lot more than that actually happened in the movies. You did actually watch them right?

You say that the movies are too long and poorly edited. You also claim that PJ used every scrap of film footage he had. You do realize that they had over an hours worth of footage just of that elf chick in the first movie running away from the Ring Wraiths on horse back. Last time I watched the first movie, I don't recall them using that entire length of footage for that small part of the film.

Yes, the movies are indeed long. And from the way you're acting, I'd suspect that you are one of those people who only like fast paced action movies where something blows up every other five minutes (not that there's anything wrong with that). God forbid someone makes a movie with characters who develop through the course of the film or a movie that (gasp) actually has a plot.

Then you complain about the use of CGI. I agree that some movies, including LotR, have used CGI when none is need. And doing so is annoying (church scene in Daredevil comes to mind). But LotR did not over use CGI nearly as much as you make out. Large battle scenes, complicated creatures, Sauron's flaming eye, and Gollum were the primary targets of CGI. I don't know what these scenes are with "more than twenty people" that you're talking about that used CGI.

As for Gollum being a completely CGI character, I don't see what you're problem is with that. I thought they did a really good job with him. And just so you know, PJ and friends looked at a lot of different things before settling on CGI for Gollum.

Now you say all this use of CGI is a sign of laziness. Maybe you should watch the extra features on the Extended versions of the films to find out just how not lazy these people were when making these movies. All the weapons, armor, and miniatures they made for that movie, not to mention actual sets. They could have easily used CGI for every single little building in the movie from Isengard, the Black Gates, to Minas Tirith. But they didn't. They built each and every one of these different structures as rather large "miniatures" for all the fine detail. Yeah, that sure sounds lazy to me.

What's next . . . oh, gay hobits. I'll just say get over your homophobia. You're about as bad as those gays/lesbians crying over those frickin' snickers commercials for being "anti-gay propaganda." What the hell ever. Could I have done without the seemingly gayness of two hobits? Sure. Did it kill the entire movie for me. No? And last I checked, no hobits, gay or otherwise, were having any kind of orgy.

I'm not sure what to say about the book(s). Still haven't finished reading the damn thing. Honestly, I'm finding it rather dull. If you hate the movies so much, I would really advice you to never pick up the book. I like the movies just fine, but that damn book. I'm just glad they took out the stupider parts of the book (Tom Bombadil anyone) and kept them out of the movies.

I'll give it to you for King Kong. Complete waste of my time. At what point exactly did that movie need to be 3 hours or more long. God I just wanted it to end. But you can stop crying about Halo. If it makes you feel better, the movie was dropped from production (last I heard) because PJ wanted more money to make the movie. Not more money for himself mind you, more money for production . . . I think.

I don't think you're stupid for hating LotR. I think some of your reasons for hating it are questionable, but if you don't like something you don't like it. Many people love the Spider-Man movies. As a huge fan of Spider-Man comics, I was extremely disappointed in them. People like different things.

kjsucks6996 • Feb 25, 2007, 02:16pm •

Calling me a class act cjclifford? For using one word of profanity? Did you not see mlaforcer's response? Now there's a real class act. And for the record cjclifford, some of the things i said in my blog were said jokingly. I didnt think anyone would be stupid enough to take some things seriously. Of course he didnt use every piece of footage for the movie. Any movie that is filmed has probably over 10hrs of footage for a 2hr movie. Have you never seen someone exagerate jokingly to get there point across? And if anyone is a homophobe, that would be mlaforcer. Did you not read his response? Blatant closet homosexual. I have no problem with gay people. As a matter a fact, one of my best friends is gay. And he was the one who pointed out that the hobbits just might be. I thank you clifford, for actually making good points in your comment. I'd appreciate more people actually making good points in there response, unlike some people who just say faggot over and over again(mlaforcer). But you really should look at yourself clifford. You call me a class act huh? Your the one saying my blog is nonsense, just because you dont agree with my opinion of lord of the rings. Real class act there clifford.
As for your response mlaforcer. All i can say is. Hahahahahahhaahahha. I find it hilarious that someone can take someones comment on a website so seriously. The main reason i wrote this blog, besides to voice my OPINION. Was to get a response from mlaforcer like this. I laughed the entire time I read it. You are indeed a douche mla forcer. Hahaahahahaha. YOUR gonna punch wholes in MY blog? After reading my blog, and your response, my blog is completely intact. All you did in your response was call me a faggot and talk about my parents. Lol. Anyone on this website who read your response would have to admit it was a real piece of idiocy.
And your gonna fly out here to pennsylvania to kick my ass? I dont think that any airline would sell a ticket to a 12yr old without there parents permission. After reading wat you wrote, you just have to be a kid. No adult would write a response like that. So you need to get with the program, and get rid of that fake picture on your profile, and put your real age on there. And i dont ever remember saying that i like star wars you moron.
The reason i went to see the other two LOTR films and King Kong, is because unlike someone as unintelligent like you. Wait wait, let me speak so a child like you can understand. Unlike a stupidhead like you. I actually see a movie before i judge it and say something about it. So how can i give my opinions on these movies if i dont see them?
And just so you are aware, a fanboy isnt just someone who dresses up in a costume you idiot. Havent you ever heard of nintendo or sony fanboys? A fanboy is someone who is a fan of something no matter what. Even it is sucks and they cant defend it, they still like it and think its awesome. Anytime you try to argue with them and make a good point, they just say the same thing, your stupid and its awesome. Hence, you are a fanboy. So go ahead and get your response ready. But lets be honest. Just like a typical fanboy, your not gonna even pay attention to what i wrote, and your gonna repsond sayin the same old stuff. Not making a single point. Let me predict exactly how its goin to go. Lol. Uh, your a faggot. Derrrrrrr. Your mom is a whore. Derrrr. Your dad is a cocksucer. Derrrrrrrr. I cant make any good points. Hahahaahhahaha. So hurry and post your comment so i can have another good laugh at your prepubescent, intellectually challenged rebutle.

mlaforcer • Feb 25, 2007, 03:57pm •

With references to you being a faggot and your father and mother were very few to what I actualy had written, so try reading it again Faggot! And Don't try and bullshit us, sale us on the fact that your blog was written jokingly you fucking no good LIAR! Not when your header state Lord Of The Rings SUCKS!! - kjsucks6996...You were completely serious about everything you had written and hit shows...And if I am 12 years old and that is not me on my profile I will still fly out there and woop your ass...If you don't like theses types of responses from me then don't direct your idiocity towards me...So now that I have hurt your feelings go and get a hug from your gay buddy maybe he might even give your little pecker a tug or two and put nice little smile on your face...Oh by the way does your gay friend condone that you call other people faggot? You don't have a gay friend do you? But if you did, you would be having him give it a tug or two, am I right? come on and tell me I'm wrong...

Your blog was never intact, never.

kjsucks6996 • Feb 25, 2007, 04:18pm •

Thank you, thank you for proving my point mlaforcer. Did everybody see this? Didnt I say this is exactly wat his response would be? Wow, your way to predictable. Your a fag, derrrrrrr. Good one mlaforcer. And apparently you cannot read. I never, i repeat myself NEVER said that my blog was done jokingly. I said SOME of the things i said, i said jokingly to get a point across. My blog WAS NOT done jokingly. When i said stuff like, there was a gay hobbit orgy. Of course there wasnt a gay hobbit orgy. I obviously said that jokingly to get a point across. Apparently you are way to stupid to understand that however. Once again, i never said my blog was a joke. I was making a serious statement about my opinion of the movies. And every now and then, i would say something jokingly to get my point across. Wow, I cant believe how stupid you are. I am amazed. So if you are goin to write another response, be sure to write the same stuff you always do. Derrrrrrr, your gay. You like sucking cock. Derrrrrrrr. I cant make a good point. So your a faggot derrrrrrrrrr. Hahahaahahahaha. Your pathetic.

mlaforcer • Feb 25, 2007, 04:29pm •

And of course lets not forget the ending of the last movie. Or should i say ENDINGS. The movie should of ended about 45 minutes before it did. Instead we got to see a big gay hobbit orgy on their bed. I mean if i wanna see a bunch of short people having sex, i'll go rent backdoor sluts 9. That just had no place in the film.

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