"The harder you run, the harder you fall...and I'm coming down hard on you!"--Phil Collins/Genesis, from "Just A Job To Do" on Invisible Touch.
Sadly, it seems that for someone of my age to enjoy the books/graphic novels that I do, that I become labeled as rather unintelligent or worse. Despite the fact that my mind needs a rest from writing blogs, cooking, and working on my books--I "cannot" seek it at the local comics shop because it makes me "look stupid."
Usually, anybody who thinks that way is asking to get a size 11W planted into their solar plexus if they dare voice such tripe to me. However, there are others who make enjoying comics/graphio novels less of a real pleasure that it was once before.
So, let's meet our contestants for the "Swim Across The Lake Of Fire!"
1) True Believer Boy: This "toad tush" obviously cannot get it through his thick skull that things do change, and not always for the best. He can usually be found trying to write to a publisher, suggesting that his favorite character either be brought back (when killed off), or be teamed with another charachter (usually from another publisher) for a "whizz-bang extravaganza." A truly sad case that also picks nits about how his favorite team/character is protrayed.
2) Dr. Pervertio: This is one sick puppy! What gets him happy is when he finds two characters having a lovemaking session in a comic. Even better for him--a lesbian scene! You can find this cretin sending off outright smutty "artwork" to Deviant Art showing Superman doing the nasty to Wonder Woman (or stuff showing Starfire and Raven in a lesbian romp)--or doing the perp-walk to a waiting squad car after kiddie-porn is found on his hard drive!
3) Miss Self-Righteous: Also "Miss Shut Down The Trade For Jesus." This little shrew sees nothing but wickedness in anything written/drawn/filmed/sang. Loves to lead boycotts against any company that offends her tiny sensibilities, and file suit against those who call her cards. Frankly, the type who would love to see the Comics Code Authority reborn, with authority over all comics published in the United States!
4) Gordie Gekko Geek: This chump doesn't read comics for entertainment--he buys them as an investment! A sad-case leftover from the Egotistical Eighties (where everything had a price, including integrity), you can find him with his "Comics Cost Guide" at the local comics shop, searching for "potential chunks of gold" to add to his portfolio. Usually ends up blowing chunks when his prized "portfoliio" gets roach infested via improper storage, or because some curtain-climber had torn out two pages to get the free premiums.
5) Psychothink Princess: Obviously, a failed philosopher. Now her job is to analyze every comic out there via the Freudian Method. bad enough when done for pleasure, but worse yet when her findings are published: that Superman can't get it up; that Velma Dinkley is a lesbian; that The Joker's love for HarleyQuinn is deeper than realized--that sort of utter horsepoop.
6) Death-Match Maker: This is the type of dork that wants to see matchups of a blockbuster type. For example, Superman vs Terminator or Trigon vs Darkseid. Nothing wrong there...except the matches he's promoting stand a snowball's chance in a blast furnace of seeing print. Think "Dr. Doom/Brother Blood,' "Dr. Strange/Eterigan," "Judge Dredd/Mysteries, Incorporated," and you'll figure it out. And still he pines for them...a lost cause pining for a lost cause!
Have fun swimming in the Lake of Fire, chumps!
See you another time.
-KV
"So, what did you expect?"
Gene (The Waco Kid) Wilder to Cleavon (Black Bart) Little, from "Blazing Saddles."
I belong to Yahoo's "Velma Dinkley" group, and have been a member since 2006. Now, one of the group members keeps reminding us that "Scooby Doo Is Aimed At 5yr olds." And, in a way, it is aimed at younger kids...but not entirely.
In the animated DVD "Scooby Doo in 'I Want My Mummy!'", Mystery, Incorporated nearly ends up losing a team member in the worst way possible...killed in the line of duty while working a case. Though later revealed to be a cement copy of Velma, the very sight of the diminutive supersleuth "turned to stone" (and, as a result, killed) marked something very new to me.
It was, in a way, an attempt by Warner Brothers to let the viewers know that fighting crime can often exact the ultimate price...the crimefighter's life. It happens all the time in the "Meta-Being" printed comics, as both heroes and villains sometimes pay with their lives for their causes.
The reactions of the other team members told me that they had not prepared for such an eventuality. From Freddy's angry response of "And This Time, IT'S PERSONAL!" to Shag and Scoob blubbering away more than they usually do, the rest of the team was not prepared for the ultimate eventuality of losing one of their own, never to return.
The fact that the statue was merely cement (and Vel had disguised herself as Cleo's Ghost to go after the Von Butch Grave-Robbing Gang) might have lessened the lesson taught (and the reconciliation scene at the Pyramids at The Valley Of The Kings was rather cool), but it was one of many lessons in the DVD.
Still, it was a reminder that being heroes (or villains) is not a hazard-free job. The Angel of Death is never far away...and sometimes, he makes his take and splits the scene!
We cannot protect our kids from learning that their heroes (in print, on the small screen, and the silver one as well) are, indeed, mortal. It's a sad day when a hero must leave this realm unwillingly...but Death is a fact of Life. Stranger still, Death itself will die at the End of Time.
In my "work-in-progress" novel (S.D.--Stand or Fall), the gang is confronted by the fact that Vel ends up taking a bullet meant for Daphne. Though alive (albeit in a coma), she lays helpless as her friends deal with not only her getting shot, but whether or not the team will stand or fall as a result of the incident.
Like I said--a work in progress. It will be a "text-only" book, since I cannot draw for beans.
I'll check in with you folks another night.
--KV
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