The fall season continues to roll out as the networks stagger their new shows and returning favorites. Last week I missed covering some of the new offerings such as JACK AND BOBBY and the season premiere of THE APPRENTICE, and I apologize for dropping the ball. Hopefully you still managed to navigate your way through the miasma of channel surfing to find a safe port in the storm.
By the way, if anyone cares, it's down to the final four players in this year's BIG BROTHER competition. From the things I've seen (and trust me, I'm not watching it religiously), I don't think there's a single one of 'em that I'd like to see win the money. On the other side of the coin there's the new crop of contestants in this year's APPRENTICE, and judging from the smattering of scenes I saw in last week's episode it looks like there's quite a few distinctive personalities already emerging in their group. Even if everyone does look like a fashion model this time around I'm betting the sophomore season will be just as entertaining as the first was.
The big genre news this week would be the last of the fresh summer episodes for both STARGATE series. Don't expect to see any more new shows until late this year.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
THE BENEFACTOR (8 PM, ABC) Series premiere. Billionaire sports owner Mark Cuban gets his own show where he promises to give away one million dollars to a lucky schmoe. Hey everyone, it's ABC's version of THE APPRENTICE! How's it feel being second to the Donald, Mark?
LAS VEGAS (9 PM, NBC) Season premiere. Danny returns from the front lines of the war and then has to stop a trio of jokers that are troubling the casino.
LAX (10 PM, NBC) Series premiere. Heather Locklear and Blair Underwood star as the Airfield Chief and Terminal Manager of Los Angeles International. No CSI agents, no doctors and no lawyers to be found but NBC promises there's loads of story potential to be found at the airport (just ask Robert Hays). Remember, the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only.
CSI: MIAMI (10 PM, CBS) "Innocent". An adult film actress is found murdered in a park. No, it wasn't the girl next door. (Repeat)
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14
FATHER OF THE PRIDE (9 PM, NBC) Larry and Kate find a bag of catnip in their daughter's room. Has the lioness become a nip-head? Meanwhile, Sigfried and Roy venture forth to the 7-11 for a Big Gulp.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15
SMALLVILLE (8 PM, WB) "Forsaken". If
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 16
SURVIVOR: VANUATU (8 PM, CBS) Season premiere. The ninth season of TV's granddaddy of reality television kicks off by separating the girls from the boys. Host Jeff Probst passes the time between competitions by quzzing the crewmembers with Rock and Roll Jeopardy questions.
WILL AND GRACE (8:40 PM, NBC) Season premiere. Well, it's not really CINESCAPE coverage material but I gotta give a shout out to two of TV's finest looking ladies, Debra Messing and Megan Mullally. Oh yeah, J-Lo is in this one too.
CSI (9 PM, CBS) "Bloodlines". A repeat of the fourth season finale where Grissom and his team face a situation where the DNA they gathered for a crime may have been the wrong evidence. (Repeat)
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17
STARGATE SG-1 (8 PM, SCI FI) "Endgame". A shadow group steals the SGC's Stargate when they forget to alarm it and park it out on the street overnight.
ENTERPRISE (8 PM, UPN) "Zero Hour". The [IMG1R}third season finale of ENTERPRISE is back, showing us how Archer and his gang defeated the Xindi and their super-weapon, but that doesn't mean the new season starts next week (try another three weeks.) (Repeat)
STARGATE ATLANTIS (10 PM, SCI FI) "The Storm". When a huge hurricane bears down on Atlantis, Weir orders the evacuation of her team, little knowing that a race that they've encountered before plan on capturing the city of the Ancients while the Earthers are away buying sheet plywood at the local Home Depot.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18
MISS AMERICA PAGEANT (9 PM, ABC) Ratings have been falling for the annual Miss America show, so this year the producers are trying to shake things up by having the final two contestants perform their final talent acts live to the judges. Maybe they should just put them on FEAR FACTOR and give them some challenge that requires swimsuit wear.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30 PM, NBC) Lindsay Lohan hosts and Usher supplies the music. But who will provide the laughter? (Repeat)
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19
TITANIC (7 PM, NBC) Four hours of James Cameron's 1998 blockbuster that still remains the number one grossing film of all-time. Now, in a special edition version Cameron returns to the film and adds a brand new pivotal key moment: the iceberg shoots at Han Solo first.
SPEED (7:30 PM, FOX) Pop quiz, hotshot: what do you counter-program when you're up against the Emmy
THE 56th ANNUAL EMMY AWARDS (8 PM, ABC) Garry Shandling hosts and hands out jokes but leaves the presentation of the awards to the pros. Like any of the old school networks have a shot of winning one of these things if HBO is in the room.
CHARMED (8 PM, WB) "A Call to Arms". The seventh year of the series kicks off by giving the three lovely witches the powers of Indian goddesses. And to spice things up a little more, Jessica Simpson's hubby, Nick Lashey, makes his guest appearance as a love interest for Phoebe.
And that'll do for another seven days. Until then, stay sane.