LOADED BIBLE

By: KURT AMACKER
Review Date: Friday, May 26, 2006

Outside of the subject matter, LOADED BIBLE bears very little resemblance to the cult film, JESUS CHRIST, VAMPIRE HUNTER. That said, this sizable one-shot gets a "C" not because it offends me (because it doesn't) or anyone else (which it will), but because the narrative suffers for huge sections of exposition. The first six pages tell the entire history of the world from September 11, 2001 until the end of America as we know it. The second-to-last scene in the comic shows Jesus getting a major revelation, which is mostly explained by a cute vampire vixen. Being largely told rather than shown, it lacks the weight that it might were it played out visually. But, I won't spoil it for you, regardless.

As stated, America dies. But, it doesn't die before a resurgence of evangelical Christianity, strengthened by the discovery of vampires. After a failed assassination attempt on the newly formed Congress of High Clerics by said vampires, the United States goes to war with everyone. In the ashes of the post-apocalyptic plain, New Vatican City arises -- a Christian utopia confined to a golden dome, where the vampires stay out and, within, the sinners are punished. Oh, and Jesus comes back to fight the undead. You can't beat that.

Needless to say, Jesus seems like a pretty cool guy. He's a great vampire slayer and he can heal people with only a touch. But, he's having some doubts about New Vatican City, particularly after he accidentally kills a human woman in a vampire raid. Only when an imprisoned female vampire offers him the truth does he learn the truth of his role as Messiah.


LOADED BIBLE will upset some people. It's not so much anti-Christian as it is anti-church, though Seeley confuses Protestant Evangelicalism with conservative Catholicism. I guess he figures that once the world ends, all the hardcore Christians will forget their differences and unite under one banner. It's a bit didactic and the message isn't new, but Seeley strikes gold by casting Jesus as a vampire hunter that's half Messiah and half Bruce Campbell. LOADED BIBLE is an action-comedy, and there are some funny, funny moments. If only because of the hilariously absurd concept, you have to smile when you see one of Nate Bellegarde and Mark Englert's illustrations of Jesus swinging a sword. It's not great, but there's promise.

Questions? Comments? Let us know what you think at comicscape@cinescape.com.