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Lost Review

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  • TV Series: Lost
  • Episode: A Journey in Time
  • Starring: Michael Emerson, Terry O'Quinn, Nestor Carbonell, Matthew Fox, Evangeline Lilly, Jorge Garcia, Josh Holloway, Elizabeth Mitchell, Jeremy Davies, Naveen Andrews, Daniel Dae Kim, Yunjin Kim, Eric Lange, Ken Leung,
  • Written By: Jeffrey Lieber, Damen Lindelof, J.J. Abrams
  • Directed By: Jack Bender
  • Network: ABC
  • Series: Lost

Lost: A Journey in Time

Joe's thoughts on the Season Finale.

By Joe Oesterle     May 15, 2009
Source: JoeArtistWriter


   Greetings fellow LOST junkies, and Holy Jesus H. Christ! Perhaps even literally. Season Five’s finale gave us enough biblical references, and allegories to fill, well, a bible.
   I’m not going to lie to anyone here. I’m still confused as to who the actual good guys are in this one. Granted, it seems pretty obvious that Jacob is the good guy, and if so, then Ben has been (as I have always contended) a good guy with a less than perfect moral compass.
   But after two hours of fairly compelling evidence in favor of the “Jacob is the good guy theory,” and as much as I want to believe that at this point - mostly because the other version gives me Charlotte-esque nosebleeds, I’m still not convinced. And dammit I want to be convinced.
   The problem with “Jacob is the good guy” is that it’s too freaking easy. But maybe that’s what they want us to believe; because if the solution really looks simple, many of us would start to that assume Jacob is the bad guy. After all, nothing is that straightforward on this show. So of course Jacob is the bad guy, because they laid it out right in front of us that Jacob IS the good guy. They have to flip that on us! Ahhh, but that’s exactly what they want us to think, those tricky devils. Because while we’re all thinking it’s too obvious for Jacob to be the good guy, so he must be the bad guy, they’ll do the double reverse flip, and reveal that Jacob was the good guy all along. Of course he is. Unless that’s precisely what they want us to think…. Oh shit… nosebleed all over my laptop. Ok, maybe I’ll try to tackle this later. Right now I have to squeegee a half a pint of nose blood out of my keyboard.
   Spinning Wheel, Got To Go ‘Round
   We begin the “The Incident” with Jacob at the spinning wheel. Or was that the wheel of fate? Or the wheel of karma? I know it wasn’t the Wheel of Fortune, because I didn’t see Pat Sajack’s bad haircut anywhere near that scene. You know what I did see in this underground lair though? Fire. You know what underground and fire usually conjures up in a biblical sense? The devil. I’m plugging my nostrils with cotton balls to prevent another hemoglobin leak.
   Regardless, a spinning wheel, looping over and over seems kind of metaphorical, don’t you think? Eventually this looping creates a thread, and as we were told at the end, it takes a long time to create this thread, but that’s kind of the point. Forgive me if I communicate cryptically, but after watching this show for 5 seasons, I’ve picked up Cryptic as a second language.
 Fish. It’s the Island’s Version of Lucky Charms
   After his morning loom, Jacob finds himself a bit peckish, so it’s off to the fish trap. Hey isn’t there some stuff in the bible about fishing? Yes as a matter of fact there is. Jesus multiplies the fish and loaves, His disciples are in a fishing boat when Jesus walks (on water) over to them, three of the 12 apostles were fisherman, and today the modern icon of a fish on the back of someone’s car indicates they’re either Christian or they have an annual subscription to Bass Master Monthly.
   And so Jacob, dressed all in white, cooks up his sunrise snack and is greeted by a bed-headed gentleman, all dressed in black. Oh… I get it. The guy in black is the bad guy, because he’s in black, and except for Johnny Cash, every man in black is a bad guy. I guess Jacob is the good guy.
   Jacob offers to share his banquet with his unnamed dark island mate, but apparently his cranky neighbor has already eaten. We, the viewers, are expected to wonder what he ate, or maybe more specifically who he ate. Nevertheless, he has had his fill of both food and Jacob, and as what I’ll assume is the Black Rock slave ship sails by on the not so distant horizon, he promises to a find a loophole, and kill a very nonplussed Jacob.
   The two have a dispassionate conversation about the true nature of man. It’s the kind of shorthand tête-à-tête that is usually overheard between a couple of pseudo-intellectual coffeehouse philosophers, or two diametrically opposed immortal beings on a magical island paradise. The Man Without a Name points out for the eleven hundredth time that men can only be relied to fight, destroy, and corrupt, and will do so until the end of time. Our boy, good guy Jacob counters, “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.” Well that settles it. Jacob is the hero; a hero who lives in a fiery underground den, beneath the shadow of the statue of Taweret – the baloney-breasted goddess/demon wife of Apep, the original Egyptian god of evil. Awwww fuck me. Jacob is the bad guy.
 Childhood Larceny. Is There Anything More Adorable?
   Isn’t Lil Klepto Kate the cutest young shoplifter you ever did see? By the way, the name of the convenience store she and her childhood boyfriend Tom enter probably has some anagram clue. Ames Central if anyone wants to take a stab. I tried, but there are over a thousand possibilities, I and want to get this thing posted soon. Feel free to solve the puzzle, and if you do, Pat Sajack and his bad haircut will offer you an all-expense one-way ticket to Fucksville. Of course the catch is you’re already there.
   Back to Katie – after she’s caught stealing her NKOTB lunchbox, good old Jacob comes by and saves the day. He offers to pay for the cheesy sandwich container, and with a tender tap on the nose, gets the young femme fatale to promise to live an honest life. Well, what do you know, as it turns out ol’ Jacob is a good guy.
 Meanwhile Back at the…
   Meanwhile back in 1977, we find older handcuffed Kate trying to talk handcuffed Sawyer into busting out of the submarine to save the day again, Sayid realizes that Faraday left precise instructions on how to detonate an H bomb, and we get confirmation that Ellie is pregnant. (Presumably with fetal Faraday. Knowing the actor who portrays Faraday would have been 8 years old in 1977, I never considered the possibility Ellie would be storing the tiny genius in her womb at this time.)
   This brings us to the biggest douche bag in the entirety of television’s douche bag history – Stuart Radzinsky. Here’s a quick quiz; what’s worse than a douche? A self-righteous douche. Ok, that was easy. Now, what worse than a self-righteous douche? An angry self-righteous douche who arrogantly and wrongly equates himself to great men. (Thomas Edison)
   And what’s worse than an angry self-righteous douche who arrogantly and wrongly equates himself to great men? An angry self-righteous power hungry douche who arrogantly and wrongly equates himself to great men with delusions of grandeur and refuses accept the possibility he may be wrong.
   And I’m disgusted at the notion that some of you reading this would still like him as the third base coach for your company softball team.
   Anyway, he’s going to continue to drill, no matter the consequences, because that’s what douches do. Let all hell break loose. A douche has to do what a douche has to do. Man I hate that guy. I’m pretty sure I worked as an Art Director for him at some ad agency back in 2005. Douche.
 Nice Rack (Part Two)
   Hey, you know how to tell Real Locke from Fake Locke? Real Locke is maybe an A-cup, but Fake Locke is probably a sloppy C-cup. Seriously, talk about baloney tits. Someone fit this guy for a manzierre. I’m glad it was Ellie in the wet tee shirt last week, and not Fake Locke. Yikes!
   Richard sensed there was something different about this John Locke, but apparently he, like many men, is easily manipulated while in the presence of enormous breasts. He questions Fake Locke, not understanding how a man can rise from the dead. Fake Locke counters with how come you don’t appear to age, you rascally pirate, you?
   “Jacob is the reason I am what I am, and I’d suggest he’s also part of the reason you’re not in the coffin anymore.” Richard rebuts. (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist.) Fake Locke agrees, and promises to properly “thank” Jacob as soon as they “deal with the passengers from Ajira flight.” Again Richard’s Spidey sense goes off. Jacob doesn’t kill, but Fake Locke seems to be sending a not so subtle message of genocide.
 Lil Jimmy Ford and Uncle Chubby
   The next time we see Jacob, our favorite good guy, is at the funeral of Sawyer’s parents. Or should I say, little Jimmy Ford’s parents. We are witness to the writing of the vengeful letter, which will consume the young boy and send him down a path of murder, thievery, deceit and general selfishness.
   As young Jimmy’s pen runs out of ink, Jacob chooses to give the grieving lad his pen. It might have been simpler for Jacob to keep his writing utensil in his pocket, but he decided to allow Lil Jim to continue the letter – if he so chooses. It’s all about free will with this Jacob guy. I’m confused now; does this make Jacob a good guy or a bad guy. It’s worth noting, that like Kate before, Jacob makes physical contact with the boy, as their fingers touch, ever so briefly during the pen exchange.
   Lil Jim is then confronted by a man I will refer to as Uncle Chubby, because he had an uncley way about him, and because he was chubby. Uncle Chubby understands young Jim’s anger, but coerces a promise of non-retaliation from the child. Is this a promise the boy is capable of keeping?
 We All Shoot in Our Dharma Submarine
   It’s sleepy time for all submarine passengers, and the sedatives are about to be doled out to Sawyer, Juliet and Kate. Juliet takes exception to Sawyer’s first person diatribe to Kate about why HE decided HE was leaving the island, and the singularness of it all did not sit right with his ’77 lover, Juliet. She takes out her exclusionary feelings on our favorite Boston Southie, kneeing the hell out of the tortured pre-sports dynasty New Englander.
   Ever since Kate came back to the island, Juliet has always had a strong feeling she and Sawyer were just “playing house.” She somehow sensed she was never supposed to meet Sawyer, and while she realized they shared a real and genuine love, Juliet may have perceived theirs was an affair that was never supposed to happen, but she wasn’t about to let Jack take away their happily ever after. I would suggest to Sawyer the next time he’s in that situation, firing a live round, even if it’s aimed at a communication device, is not a high percentage call while in an underwater submarine.
   Richard is perplexed. He confesses to Jack that he’s made three off-island visits to Locke over the years, and found him to be an unremarkable man. Jack just smiles. The real John Locke may be dead, but the new Man of Faith, Jack Shephard, took his former nemesis’ final written words to heart, “I wished you had believed me.”
  Here is something that is throwing me. I think we were all lead to believe that Island Christian, or Fake Christian may be the Smoke Monster in disguise since he’s the one who originally convinced Locke to leave the island and die. It’s also logical to assume that Dead Alex, or Fake Alex is also a version of the Smoke Monster. So is Fake Locke the Smoke Monster too, or does the Smoke Monster serve Fake Locke? I ask this because Fake Locke seems genuinely surprised to learn that Ben’s “dead daughter” has threatened Ben with destruction should Ben do anything but blindly follow this new, menacing Locke. This of course pleases Fake Locke, because now he knows he’s got Ben right where he wants him, and his loophole is secure.
 Hit n Run
   The next time we see Jacob is at the hit and run death or Sayid’s wife and long-time love, Nadia. Let’s forget that Sayid numbs the pain of not having Nadia around by bedding Shannon, the girl from “The Economist,” Ilana, and has probably had naughty thoughts about wet tee shirt Ellie, the guy is really touched by Nadia – and speaking of touching, Jacob makes physical contact with Sayid in Los Angeles. This has got to be a pattern.
   Flash forward to Sayid and Jack trying to “hide in plain sight” after Richard knocks out dried off tee shirt Ellie. She’s the leader, and it’s his duty to protect her. Unfortunately for Sayid, Roger Linus, the previous Island Douche Champion, until he was dethroned by Radzinsky, recognizes Sayid even out of his purple shirt.
 Ben’s dad shoots Sayid in square in the gut, and Jack goes completely Rambo – taking on a small army of Dharmites with his tiny handheld pistol. As Hurley, Miles and Jin drive up and open the moving door to the Dharma Van, I could help but notice Jack flash a quick grin. Jack was smiling like a man who really misses fly by the seat of your pants life and death adventures. Screw reading books like Winston Churchill. Reactionary Jack is back, and this time he’s enjoying the ride.
 Three’s Company
   Sawyer, Kate and Juliet escape the sub, and are floating on raft toward the island, which made me wonder who the hell Juliet shot at earlier this season. Will we ever get an answer to that? Juliet clearly started feeling like a third oar as Sawyer and Kate do a friendly bicker about direction. As they arrive on dry land, Kate thanks Juliet, for taking her side, but Juliet is starting to change her mind about her destiny with the former bad boy turned stable boyfriend.
 The Retirees
   Woof woof, Vincent reappears, and who’s been taking care of him? Rose and Bernard. And they’re not too happy about seeing their former pals. “We’ve retired,” deadpans Rose. She left out the phrase, “from your crazy shit,” but the implication was there. They had been living by themselves in jungle for past three years. They seem to have found a tranquility that has recently escaped Sawyer and Juliet. “We just care about being together” they say. Upon hearing that, Juliet glances at Sawyer expecting to catch his glance, but she is heartbroken when she notices the line had a similar effect on Sawyer, only eyes are fixed on Kate. (Or at least that’s how Juliet interpreted it) Kate didn’t look at anyone. I guess because there wasn’t a mirror around.
 No, No, We’re the Good Guys.
   “From my experience the people who go out of their way to tell you they’re the good guys are the bad guys,” says a weary but still sassy Frank Lapidus to self-proclaimed good guy Bram. Lapidus would have preferred for the Macguffin box to remain just that, but unfortunately for him, he is aware of unpleasant contents.
   Bram is not sure what to make of Lapidus, but Ilana seems to see something in him. Perhaps he might be a candidate for their modern day Templar Knights club. I have to say, Ilana and Bram seem like good guys, and they certainly seem to be on Jacob’s side. If Jacob is a Jesus figure, he’s quite gentle and grounded, which I assume is how Jesus would be, but if he’s the devil, he’s a crafty one. Which I guess is what I assume the devil would be. Dammit! Nosebleed. Time out while I get the wet vac and clean up the keyboard again.
   So the brave soldiers reach their destination, - the shack formerly referred to as Jabob’s Cabin, but the ashy circle which once surrounded the tiny cottage has been broken, and on top of questioning if Jacob is good or bad, we’re left to wonder if it was Jacob or the nameless Man in Black who has escaped from the makeshift prison. Next stop, the shadow of the statue.
 What, No Love For Ilana?
   Speaking of Jacob, he is next seen visiting Ilana in a rundown Russian hospital (I’m guessing Russian, since I’m only fluent in English and Cryptic.) He visits Ilana, who seems pretty banged up over something. I noticed Jacob never touched Ilana. Seems like a natural thing to do, especially when you consider she could use a tender stroke, and he didn’t fail to make contact in his previous three visits. As a matter of fact, Jacob never takes off his gloves, but Ilana promises to help him out anyway. This Jacob guy is a charmer, I have to give him that.
 The Not So Special John Locke
   Maybe he was saving up his magic touch for someone who really could use it. While waiting John Locke to be pushed out of a tall building, Jacob takes in a little light reading. (“Everything that Rises Must Converge.”) He must not have had his Ipod handy.
Panic and shock has taken over the witnesses to this horrific event, but Jacob calmly walks over to the still (perhaps lifeless) body of John Locke, reassures the unfortunate victim of gravity that everything will be alright, and offers, “I’m sorry this happened to you.” He sounded so sincere. He has to be a good guy.
   Of course that exactly what they want us to think. ……annnnnd nosebleed.
 Out of His League
   Back on the island, Ben comes clean to Fake Locke about their previous meeting with Jacob. Embarrassed because he never saw Jacob, Ben reverted to a comfortable position. He lied. “That’s what I do,” the humbled former potentate said with a resigned shrug. Still he was unclear why he was being asked to kill Jacob. “Despite your loyal service to this island,” Fake Locke mocks, “You got cancer, you watched daughter die, and your reward is banishment. Why would you want to kill him?”
   Man, Ben may have thought he was a big league manipulator, but when it comes down to true sneaky shittery, Ben isn’t anywhere near Fake Locke’s ability. 
 Wedding Crasher
   Sun can’t help but wander around. She comes across the crib Real Locke made for Aaron, which must reminds her of her daughter, but it’s Charlie’s Drive Shaft ring which reminds prompts the next Jacob Flashback.
   Jacob apparently speaks excellent Korean for a white guy, and this enigmatic wedding crasher places his hands on their shoulders, and urges the pair to never take their love for granted. This guy is more touchy-feely than a drunken Shriner on a long “business” weekend away from the missus.
   By the way, the “DS” on Charlie’s ring must have some significance. Any ideas? Demons/Saints? Divinty/Sin? Dodgers/Suck? Sorry, I’m a Phillies fan, and we’re playing Los Angeles tonight. Go Phils!
 Dr. Pouty McBaby
   So Doctor Jack cuts crucial sac during his first big time operation, and his dad comes to his rescue with a little tough love and a lot of professional guidance, and how does Christian’s pride and joy respond to that fact that his father’s help prevented the death of a patinet? By lashing out like a 3 year old who can’t have the candy he wanted. Fortunately Jacob is there, and he not only gives whiney Jack his Apollo bar, but he explains to the petulant physician that it “just needed a little push.”
   Oh, and who else noticed the confectionary in the vending machine right next to the Apollo bar? It was a Lindo’s, Peanut Butter Cup, which I will assume is an in-joke directed to executive producer Damon Lindelof. But what about his partner in crime Carlton Cuse? No caramel covered Carltonellos for Cuse? For shame.
 I’m Dyin’ Here.
    En route to save Sayid from dying from a gun shot to the belly, the van is stopped by a Sawyer, Juliet, Kate blockade. Now why no one screams we have to get Sayid some medical attention and soon, all is forgiven, because we’re finally going to see the fight that’s been brewing for 5 long seasons, and thirty some years.
   Sawyer tells Jack his back story. He lets Jack know how his dad was swindled, than killed his mother and finished himself off with a bullet to the brain while Little Jimmy hid under his bed. Sawyer lets Jack know he could have stopped those events from happening last year, but he chose to let history play itself out because, “what’s done is done.” Jack counters it doesn’t have to be that way, but Sawyer retorts, “I don’t speak destiny.” His next line is sounds like it may have been poached from “The Grapes of Wrath,” or “Of Mice and Men,” but it ain’t John Steinbeck, it’s pure Sawyer, “What I do understand is a man does what he does, ‘cause he wants something for himself.” Pretty powerful stuff for television, put not as apparently as Jack’s love for Kate.
 Rumble in the Jungle
   This knocks Sawyer for a loop, and he lets the good doc know Kate’s right there, and Sawyer doesn’t have any designs on her anymore. When Jack declines to make the move, Sawyer decides to throw Jack for a loop himself – with a sucker punch right to his unsuspecting jaw.
   He may have laid out that weasel Phil with one shot, but Jack, despite his rich boy upbringing learned to fight somewhere. As a matter of fact, if it weren’t for some of Sawyer’s dirty tactics (the blindsided punch, a kick to the balls, a branch to the head and some serious choking) Jack may have come out on top of this brawl.
   Juliet who changes her mind as often as Radzinsky is a douche – constantly, screams at Sawyer to leave Jack alone, and admits Jack is doing the right thing. Sawyer’s head is starting to explode from this on-again off-again island escape, and he begs her to explain herself.
   Now we get a Juliet flashback. It’s her, her sister, and her parents as they announce to their daughters their plans for divorce. “Just because two people love each other, doesn’t mean they’re supposed to be together,” Juliet’s mother concedes, and this declaration obviously stuck with the impressionable child.
   I understand the flashback forming Juliet’s actions, but I don’t understand breaking the “Jacob in every flashback pattern.” Is there something to this or was it just a flashback?  
   “I don’t care who I looked at,” Sawyer screams in frustration at Juliet’s jealousy, “I’m with you.” Juliet is apparently not a proponent of the old adage it’s better to have loved and LOST than to never have loved at all.
   Jack and Kate sharing a moment at the Hatch site, and Go With The Flow Jack is somehow able to convince prison bound Kate to give him her blessing in regards to the whole resetting time thing. Kate returned to save Aaron, and Kate can’t see a better way of saving the saucy Aussie, so she unselfishly agrees to Jack’s plan.
   That’s right. I wrote unselfish to describe Kate. Maybe she’ll become a character we can root for again in Season Six. I have a feeling we will.
   Next stop - Hurley. Recently released from jail, Hurley is directed to the taxi stand where he shares a two block ride, and attempts to share a fruit roll-up with Jacob. When Jacob refers to Hurley by his first name, the big man automatically assumes he’s seeing another dead person. “I’m definitely not dead,” assures his mysterious cabmate. “Why won’t you go back to the island,” Jacob inquires. After convincing Hurley that maybe speaking to his departed friends is a blessing and not a curse, Jacob touches him on the chest and tells him it’s his choice, and leaves the guitar in the cab.
   Now I have to assume Hurley has checked out the contents of the case, because why would he bring on a stray guitar case to an island if he didn’t think it would pay off, and I will not stoop to any easy jokes about the case being filled with Apollo bars.
 I’d Like to Kill Jacob Some Time Today Please.
   Fake Locke is anxious to see Jacob, and Richard can no longer stall him. Ben obediently follows Fake Locke to the base of the statue, and despite Richard’s protests Ben is going in with Fake Locke. Richard leads the pair to the secret passage, but refuses to open it the entire way. “Tell him I said hello,” Richard says sorrowfully.
   Fake Locke hands Ben his knife, and promise the former leader things will change. That’s one promise Fake Locke intends to see through. Schwink, out comes the metal knife from it’s leather casing, and Ben marches in. (See last week’s review for my take on “shwinking.”)
   Bomb’s Away
   Meanwhile, Jack is on his way to detonate a Hydrogen bomb and get everybody back to the friendly tarmac of Los Angeles International Airport. Kate and Jin notice Phil literally riding shotgun, with deadly intent. Sawyer defers to Juliet, “What do you think Blondie?” and she answers in classic Jack fashion, “Live together, die alone.”
   Jack is surrounded, but remains undaunted when the cavalry rides in via the the big blue Hippiemobileguns a blazin’. From Radzinky’s “Who’s this?” to the running into a hail of gunfire, the scene was reminiscent of the Newman Redford classic, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
   This time as the bullets flew, it was Kate who had Sawyer’s back. If I have one regret about this episode it’s that Sawyer didn’t take out Phil on his own. To Sawyer’s credit, he did try to solve the conflict without unnecessary gunplay, but electromagnetism gets credit for the Phil kill.
   Jack finds himself at the well, but momentarily hesitates. He looks over and receives a reassuring nod from Kate, and he drops it like it’s hot – which I’d assume it would be, but what do I know about nuclear weapons.
 R.I.P. Blondie
   In the all the magnetic frenzy Chang loses hand, Miles calls him dad, Phil gets shishkabobbed and Juliet gets dragged down to the well with a chain wrapped tightly around her waist. Kate, leaps into action and in no time Sawyer rushes over. The star crossed lovers (oh, get the name Juliet now) hold on to each other’s hands for dear life, but when Juliet senses she is endangering the man she loves, and she finally and clearly sees his deep devotion to her, she drops Sawyer’s hand instead of allowing him to go falling into the abyss with her.
   I think it’s a safe bet to say tears filled the eyes of very single woman watching (as well as 98 percent of the men, whether they will admit it or not) at this compelling scene of love lost (LOST?)
   Yo Ho!
   “Do you have any alcohol,” Sun inquires to Richard. After all, pirates love their rum. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me, and all that.
 What’s in the Box?
   Suddenly, as calm as a crew of strangers carrying the secret corpse of an unremarkable man can be, Ilana, Bram, Lapidus et al walk into the midst of the stunned crowd.
   Ilana asks for Ricardus, to which she is met with Alperts’ name clarification, “Richard.”     
 It is worth noting that Ricardus Angelicus was a 12th century English priest who was recognized as the pioneer of scientific judicial procedure. What does that mean in the grand scheme? I have no idea, and I’ve gone this long without a nosebleed, so I’m leaving it at that.
   What lies in the shadow of the statue, Richard is asked. “He who will save us all, is the reply Ilana and company were noiselessly elated to here. Richard was notably less than elated when the lifeless corpse of the Real John Locke is dumped unceremoniously out of the Macguffin box.
   Those Meddling Fake Lockes
   All that was missing was a chunky bespeckled teenage lesbian in an oversized orange sweater to utter to her gang of mystery solving cartoon cohorts and their snack-addicted Great Dane was “But if that’s the real John Locke, then who is…”
   And who is he indeed. He is none other than the Nameless Man in Black, the guy who promised to find a loophole, and it looks like he just found a dilly of one.
   Jacob’s assurance to Ben that he has a choice in this matter falls upon not only deaf ears, but furiously insulted, and psychologically abandoned ears as well. Benjamin, the long-suffering, faithful servant couldn’t help but feel disdain for his former messiah. Ben had a choice and he chose to stab. Stab like a sissy girl no doubt, but even sissy girls can do serious damage if you let them plunge a knife into your chest three or four times.
   Jacob’s dying words, “They’re coming,” seemed to squelch the mood for Fake Locke, as he kicked the now lifeless Jacob into the fire pit.
 Seriously, You Have to Buy Beneath the Planet of the Apes
   So how did Juliet survive that fall? Did an invisible astral plane traveling Jacob finally touch her? However it happened, and it did seem to happen a lot like the way the Real Locke “woke up” after his multi-story plunge, Juliet decided to take matters into her own hands when she realized the bomb never went off, and in another moment that reminded me of “Beneath the Planet of the Apes” (I told you guys to buy it) crossed with Sheriff Brody’s last shot effort to shoot the oxygen tank stuck in the teeth of a shark who takes things way too personal, Juliet eventually detonated the bomb, and with a Brodyesque “You son of a bitch,” in all likelihood reset the clock.
    …and fade to white. Huh? White? This show has always faded to black. It’s what they do. Jawdropping WTF moment, and fade to black. Now obviously We’ve always faded to black before, because that’s a dramatic way to end a televised story. We never even considered the possibility of fading to white, but with the intense explosion of a nuclear bomb, white seems like not only the proper “reset” color but it may be appropriate from a white represents good, black represents bad aspect.
   Maybe we’ve always faded to black because evil was always in the lead. Maybe, finally, the good guys are back in the driver’s seat, and the whole team, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Locke, Sayid, and maybe even Charlie, will team up once again, like in Season One and fight the bad guys as a unified front.
   Wow. I wonder if anyone got through all this in one sitting, without any nosebleeds. Kudos to you if you did.
   In Conclusion
 So until next season, fire up your Hi-Def TV, (Imperative if you’re expecting to make out candy labels in hospital vending machines.) make sure you hit the record function on your TiVo, (For multiple viewings, and freeze framing purposes immediately after watching the show the first time.) keep your laptop nearby, (You’ll never know when you might need to Google a relatively obscure 12 century man of God.) load up that bong, (For some of us, LOST isn’t our only drug of choice.) and get ready to get LOST.


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AMiSHPiRATE 5/15/2009 12:34:09 AM

I figured it out.  The Others?  The incredibly ethnically diverse Others who couldn't possibly be from Egypt or the Black Rock?  They're the children who were abducted from Oceanic 418!

ponyboy76 5/15/2009 3:47:08 AM

Nice  theory Amish and I know time goes really strangley on the island but I don`t think they are the children off of Oceanic 418. And I don't think that anyone is actually from Egypt. Also most likely the only survivor from the Black Rock was Richard, if he in deed was on the ship.
 Anyway, the biblical imagery in this episode was  freakin everywhere. I don't know if Jacob and fake Locke who is obviously that guy in the beginning are God and the Devil but they sure act like it.  Jacob was there for pretty much every pivotal event in the Losties lives. What makes him the Jesus/God figure though is the fact that he never caused the situations but was there to kind of guide or console them.
  Does anyone else think that Juliet is pregnant? The way she held her stomach when she was at Rose n Bernards. Also the fact Rose solely asked her if she wanted to sit and have some tea. Its just a thought.
   That scene with Miles was funny as hell. I had replay it twice. He is the only one that thought that they might actually be causing the incident. I was waiting for someone to say it but I thought it would be Hurley since he`s a big movie guy.
  The end scene with Juliet did remind me of Jaws but also Saving Private Ryan when Hanks is trying to shoot the tank. It just suddenly blows up. 
  I`m a little ashamed for Sawyer. Obviously he was desperate or had gone soft during those 3 years with Juliet, because you never kick a dude in the balls! Especially if you`re evenly matched.  That is suck a scuzzy thing to do.
 Damn, can not wait until next season!!

hanso 5/15/2009 4:20:43 AM

What the hell is Oceanic 418?

From what I got from the episode was that the person we thought had been Jacob all along, like for example the dude in the cabin saying help me, was not Jacob but his nemesis who was able to roam free once the Ash circle was broken.  When Jacob visits Hurley he tells him he's never been in jail and the Sayid flashback with Jacob took place after the Oceanic 6 left the Island, if I'm not mistaken.  So it's impossible for Jacob to be in his cabin prison if he says he's never been to prison and left the island after 2004. Which then means Christian Shepard ain't working for Jacob but for his nemesis the Man in Black and that's if the Shepard ghost aint the Man in Black himself.

I thought it was interesting that Jacob touched everyone on that was in Dharma past except Juliet & Miles.  I'm sure that plays into how they are gonna survive the bomb blast.  I'm very upset to how they decided to end the season, fade to white!?  Come on, they couldn't give us a little more.  It's gonna be a frustrating couple of months waiting for 2010 to get here.

My guess is Miles was right and they were the ones that caused The Incident just like it was always supposed to happen.

Finally, is there any doubt that Bernard & Rose aren't Adam & Eve?

Things I didn't like about the episode:

1. Jack being a little girl with his "i had her and I lost her" speech.  Seriously, I was like please don't say your doing it cause Kate, please don't say it, you are better than that.  Such disappointment.  Really, you wanna blow up the whole island cause of Kate?  WTF!

2. Juliet & Kate changing their minds on the killing of the entire population like it was nothing.  Oh Sawyer looked at Kate, well then everyone on this island must die.  Kate's was even worse, hey kate this way you do it for Aaron.  Oh yea I was bitching about people dying needlessly the last episode, finding a way to stop you the entire finale but I forgot about Aaron, how silly of me.  Your ten second speech worked Jack, of course everyone must die now.

3. Jacob's death.  That dude better not be dead cause they've been mentioning him for the past 3 seasons!  Two hours of Jacob ain't enough.

hanso 5/15/2009 4:22:51 AM

Oh and the finale was great but nothing beats "WE HAVE TO GO BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Dazzler 5/15/2009 4:39:00 AM

The only thing in that article not mentioned is the airdate for next last season, 2010?  That sucks.  Why can't all tv writers write like this for this show?  The 2 hours just flew right by.

Bryzarro 5/15/2009 4:55:36 AM

Joe you caught what my theory was Jacob and Esau.  Esau hated Jacob. 

Hanso you have a great point too.  The man in the cabin couldn't be Jacob.  It's obvious from the beginning that the base of the statue is his home.  Why leave there to live in a cabin way in-land. 

Loved seeing the Black Rock.  Sicks for Juliet.  I was like WTF she's still alive.  They did cause the incident, the question is what is the incident the Magnetism pulling everything in or something in the next season we will see. 

makabriel 5/15/2009 5:41:09 AM

Well there we go, another ending that makes us shake our fists and yell for "more now!"

I'm both very pleased and kinda annoyed with this episode.  It tied everything together, the last 5 seasons, almost perfectly. but it felt almost rushed.  All of the flashback episodes with Jacob felt too convenient.  Like just added on.

Anyway. It all makes pretty good sense now.  You may all call him Esau, but I'm callin him Osiris. Eyptian god of the dead.  Because that's what he is. I'm thinking Jacob may be Horus, living under his own statue.. Osiris has been using the bodies and souls of the dead to manipulate people throughout the series. Cristian, Charley. Locke.  He's been manipulating Ben all of his life.  He's the one that had Ben set the island into motion.. the "loophole" that allowed him to kill Jacob. The one that was whispering to him in the cabin all theose years but not allowin Ben to actually SEE him.  It wasn't Jacob he was talkingg to.  The one that told Locke that he was going to have to die (because I need your body), the one that pushed him to set the Island back on its path.

Then we have Jacob.  Don't worry, Hanso.  I think Jacob was smart enough to know what was going on and set his own plans into motion.  Touching the 6.  Giving them the advice they will need (Sun and Jin will need their love to get back to each other, etc).  I think he's the one that tweaked the flash that allowed Kate,Jack,Hurley and Sayid to make it back to '77. I think Hurley may have a tool that he needs to fix things in the guitar case.  

So yeah, now we have to wait a year or so to figure out what the end game's goin to be ..  *sigh*


jedibanner 5/15/2009 5:43:13 AM

I like this theory that the voice in the cabin that said ''help meeeeee'' is that other dude who is trying to get ridof Jacob. It would fit perfectly that this ''Esau'' guy would be the one ''travelling'' all around the world as ghost of the people who died so they could come back to the island. If all along this Esay dude was the one manipulating everyone and ''controlling''the smoke monster also, that would be sweat!!.

It was a great episode and I liked some of the dialogue between Jack and Sawyer or Sawyer and Juliett. It was cool to see them talk a little bit like the old days and share their thoughs and almost trust each other again.

I will miss Juliett and from the looks of it....will miss Sayid also.

JoeArtistWriter 5/15/2009 5:45:02 AM

Hey guys, sorry. I accidentally sent over my notes, and not my finished article. Damn, I spent hours on this too and you guys are just reading notes. Ok. I resent the real doc,and hopefully it gets put up soon. Very annoyed at myself. Joe

makabriel 5/15/2009 5:56:46 AM

Lol @ Joe.

I was going to say something, but I figured something was going on.

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