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LOST: Looking Back While Ahead

Lost Season Premiere Conundrums

By Joe Oesterle     January 19, 2009


Mania presents the conundrums to be touched upon in this season of ABC's LOST(2009)
© Mania.com/Robert Trate

 

There is no such thing as a “casual LOST fan”. It seems you either submerge yourself into the show’s elaborate intricacies and “never-saw-that-coming” reveals, readjusting your entire life around the program’s Wednesday night 9:00 airtime, or you don’t. There’s no wiggle room for cursory viewing when it comes to LOST; it’s an all or nothing game.
   Sure, there are levels of interest when it comes to those who do invest the proper time and energy into perhaps the most compelling weekly one-hour in television history, but even if you’re a just a low-level Lostie, then Charlie’s heroin addiction is nothing compared to what you’re jonesin’ for – new LOST episodes.
   After months of painful withdrawals, fellow LOST junkies are free to once again chase their metaphorical dragons. Our drug of choice has finally come back – drop date, January 21st, and it’s going to be some primo shit.
As with every season premiere of this series, we can expect to have a number of nagging questions answered, but as we know all too well, the maddening price of closure on one subject is that it often exposes three more equally vexing queries. No whining now;  we knew we were dealing with the devil midway through Season One.
   The writers and producers of this show are usually very good at eventually scratching our itches, but they have been guilty of neglect now and then. We, the sad little masochistic creatures that we are, believe in our heart of hearts that each of our inquests will ultimately be addressed satisfactorily before this cast of castaways takes their final curtain call at the end of Season Six. And let’s admit it, we’re getting our kinky kicks out of this long, drawn out tease. That said, many of us will feel gypped if they don’t start paying off soon, so let’s consider some of the obvious, and not so obvious questions we assume/hope will be addressed in the next 17 weeks:
Conundrum Number One: What the hell is the deal with the four-toed statue? Isn’t that like a Season Two thing? Hey Carlton and Damon, we haven’t forgotten the 40-foot stone leg in the middle of nowhere you guys showed us one time a few years ago. Look, we love the possible highbrow Colossus of Rhodes reference as much as the lower-brow Planet of Apes homage. It’s because of moments like the one giant sandaled calf, broken off mid-fibula that we got hooked on this crazy show to begin with. Throw us a (leg) bone here, and clue us in to this mystery post haste.
 
Conundrum Number Two: Who is/are Doctors Marvin Candle, Mark Wickmund, Edgar Halliwax, and Pierre Cheng, and why (Cheng notwithstanding) the candle fetish? Does this guy have one arm or two? Was he killed off in the Dharma purge? Who is the baby heard crying in his latest viral video? (Debuted last August at Comic-Con). And finally, where can someone get one of those sweet-ass looking retro sweat suits like that dude was sporting in the above-mentioned Comic Con piece?
 
Conundrum Number Three: Is Locke really dead? We all know, dead is a relative term when it comes to the inhabitants of this enigmatic archipelago. And even while islands of TV shows past have also played by a their own set of rules, I’ll bet dollars to Hurley’s donuts that the recently departed, dramatic Hispanic caretaker of Fantasy Island, Ricardo Montalban will not be popping back to life on any island, any time soon.
   We know Charlie is dead, because he was gracious enough to tell us so. (Those English are so polite.) We know Michael is dead because Harold Perrineau whined in the press about his character’s demise. But is John Locke dead, and if so, why the pseudonym Jeremy Bentham, and why are both names related to long-expired English philosophers?
   Speaking of the dead, I will take this opportunity to reveal a possible spoiler, so if you like your LOST fresh, skip on down to Conundrum Number Four.
Understand the previously murdered, Ana Lucia is making a one-time appearance this season, and while I wasn’t a big fan of her while she was living, maybe she’s more charismatic after shuffling off the mortal coil.
If LOST is showcasing ghostly guest stars, everyone would rather see everybody’s favorite cuddly drug smuggling warlord, Mr. Eko, or perhaps the very hot, cold corpse of Season Two fatality, and perennial cock tease, Shannon Rutherford. (Insert comedically lecherous Bob Hope-esque growl here.)
 
Conundrum Number Four: Are Claire and Jin actually dead? My guess? Yes and no  – Claire being the yes, Jin being the no. Who knows how Jin could have survived the very same explosion that claimed Michael and everyone else on that freighter, but who can wrap their mind mind around the possibility that the writers would kill this character off. Plus that Desmond/Penny reunion was such a hit with the fans it seems like the right thing to do to give Sun and her hubby a similarly happy ending.
Most refuse to believe Jin is dead. You saw the tombstone, but didn’t see a body. Realize that kind of non-evidence means nothing in this particular venue, (How many times did Patchy reappear, when conventional wisdom deemed him dead?) but my gut says Jin lives.
   Conversely, Claire is as dead as they get on this show. Claire is Charley-dead. Walking around, talking with whomever she wants, but definitely dead. After her home in New Otherton was blown to bits, and Sawyer the Brave seemingly rescued her and baby Aaron, Claire is asked if she’s alright, and she responds, “A bit wobbly, but I’ll live,” to which Miles retorts, “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”
   Miles, the usually dispassionate guy, who talks to the dead for a living, is suddenly intrigued by the flaxen-haired Aussie. So much so that the previously in-it-for-himself Sawyer felt compelled to issue an informal restraining order on the inscrutable spirit whisperer. Oh yeah, Claire’s dead.
Out of the blue, Claire is traipsing around the jungle, all happy-go-lucky with her (and Jack’s) deceased father, Christian – and by the way, you gotta love that guy’s heavy-handed name – Christian Shephard. Man, they’re certainly pointing to some not so cryptic biblical implications there, huh? The last guy who rose from the dead, and was known as a Christian Shepherd was a fella named Jesus, and he got a couple religions out of it for his troubles. LOST is already a religious experience to many, so maybe this Christian could wrangle up a spin-off, or perhaps his own reality show.
   Anyway, she’s suddenly pretty nonchalant for the reigning winner of the island’s Mother of Year award. Of course to be fair, all the other mothers died at childbirth, so the competition was pretty slim. But still, Claire seemed like a good mum. Certainly, you would have thought, a concerned enough parent to not abandon her newborn in the crook of a tree in the hopes a gun-toting former conman would deliver the infant to runaway, daddy-murdering Kate – the self-admitted worst person suited ever for the role of motherhood.
 
 Conundrum Number Five: Who are Adam and Eve? Another oldie but goodie, all the way back from season one. Now there is no doubt this season will deal with time travel. They hinted as much in the 2008 Comic-Con video when Dr. Cheng said, “time is not of the essence, it is the essence.” (By the way, that off-camera voice from 30 years in the past sounds a lot like present day Daniel Faraday.) Will they be making a quantum leap to the past, or are they going to be jumping back to the future?
   It would be a nice, if a somewhat clichéd Twilight Zone moment, if the bones Jack and Kate labeled as Adam and Eve were indeed Jack and Kate themselves. Of course, if it’s not them, it could be another couple we’ve already met as individuals, – which brings us to the next puzzle…
  
 Conundrum Number Six: Is Sawyer banging Juliet? Of all these questions, this one has to be the most obvious. The answer is inevitably hell to the yes! This will make for a nice four-sided love triangle when Jack and Kate finally do get back to the island.
   I’m not sure how much “island time” will have passed by the end of this season, but off island time will be, by my estimation, about 4 years. You think Sawyer, a 1986 Don Johnson look-alike, is going to not get it on with the hottest chick left on the island? Come on! No woman can resist the pastel colored charms of Sonny Crocket. Sawyer nailed both Kate and Ana Lucia in less than three months, while Jack was busy being wrong about everything. You’re damn right Sawyer’s gonna tap that ass a couple of times in four years, if only to sexually one-up Jack for the third time.
   There are plenty of other questions, we the starving faithful, would hope to have answered in the near future. For instance, is Ben truly “one of the good guys” or is this just another of his masterful mind-fucks? What are the implications of bringing baby Aaron, (and possibly little Ji Yeon) back to the island? Walt already had the “others” pretty spooked, and it’s likely these new kids are capable of killing more than stray birds. Is Sun  really in cahoots with Charles Widmore? Doesn’t that put her at direct odds with Ben and her Oceanic survivors? And finally is there anyone on that show hotter than vengeful, confident Sun?
The time is upon us, so fire up your Hi-Def TV, (Imperative if you’re expecting to make out Dharma logos on a shark’s fin.) make sure you hit the record function on your TiVo, (For multiple viewings, and freeze framing purposes immediately after watching the show the first time.) keep your laptop nearby, (You’ll never know when you might need to Google the relevance of everything on Ben’s bookshelf.) load up that bong, (For some of us, LOST isn’t our only drug of choice.) and get ready to get LOST.

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COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 10 of 15
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ripum853 1/19/2009 3:05:59 AM

I thought I was the only one that remembered Adam and Eve lol.  There's also Libby, Danielle, and Alex's back story that I'd like to see.  The Exec. Producers said they would give us information on them.  If they stick to it, and if the island really did to a quantum leap to the past, perhaps it'll be explained in their "present time"?

 

I also always wondered about Kelvin, and how he got into the Dharma station, or if he was actually an Other, etc. 

 

They also need to clear things up with Walt a bit more other then is ability to kill birds lol.

 

Good post though, and bringing attention to some things that need to be addressed.  I've heard some things, however, about some of your conundrum's, and I know a few of the answers to a few of them already.  I won't divulge though, since I don't want to spoil.  But I can assume that others on this site already read the same spoilers, casting info, etc. and also know what will happen so far.

ripum853 1/19/2009 3:08:41 AM

Oh, and on another note; IMO, it looks as if there will be a Daniel, Charlotte, and Juliet triangle going on; rather then Juliet further involving herself in the Kate, Jack, Sawyer, triangle.  I'm only assuming this based on how Juliet and Daniel were acting towards each other on last season's finale.  Perhaps I read wrong, and they were just being nice to each other at the thought of their time on the island coming to an end.

hanso 1/19/2009 4:11:33 AM

Libby's story will be brought up this season I read, along with Danielle's.  Plus we'l see Ben with Henry Gale and how Ben ended up; being caught in Danielle's trap.

Also, there are dharma stations outside of the island. 

Got more stuff, but gotta run.  I'll swing by later in the day.  Peace!

ripum853 1/19/2009 5:36:31 AM

Hey, yeah I heard of the outside Dharma stations too, can't wait.  Good to know about the information with Ben, I hope we get more information as to what happened to the Woman in his past.  Alice was it??  Or am I way off?

Hobbs 1/19/2009 7:20:01 AM

They have a lot to answer yet that is for sure good thing they have about 30 episodes left to do that.

Sawyer baning Juliet a Conundrum?  Seriously who gives a shit. If that's the kind of bull shit you are waiting for answers on go watch Desperate Housewives. 

How about wondering WTF happened to Daniel and the passenger fill ins he was taking back to the boat.  Even if Jin lived because Daniel picked him up (which makes the most sense) they had no where to go. The Island is gone leaving them in the middle of the ocean.

 

JoeArtistWriter 1/19/2009 10:21:04 AM

Hobbs old buddy, if Sawyer and Juliet do hook up, it will be more than just a Desperate Housewives moment. Sure there are a small number of LOST fans, who tune in primarily for the romance, but if a Sawliet romance does bloom, it also adds another wrinkle for the writers to play with.

LOST is about character develpoment as much as it is about how crazy French women who know where the dynamite is, and that particular coupling could make for potential tension down the road.

I do agree with you that Daniel could easily pick up Jin in the ocean, and I'm hoping it's not that simple, but I will also assume Daniel's boat was close enough to the island when it "disappeared" that Daniel and his crew (which may or may not include jin) will been taken to wherever, or whenever the island's final destination happens to be.

I am also hoping we get to see more of Libby. She was taken out too soon in my opinion, and Ben's childhood friend Alice absolutely needs to be addressed as well.

JoeArtistWriter 1/19/2009 10:49:44 AM

Hobbs old buddy, if Sawyer and Juliet do hook up, it will be more than just a Desperate Housewives moment. Sure there are a small number of LOST fans, who tune in primarily for the romance, but if a Sawliet romance does bloom, it also adds another wrinkle for the writers to play with.

LOST is about character develpoment as much as it is about how crazy French women who know where the dynamite is, and that particular coupling could make for potential tension down the road.

I do agree with you that Daniel could easily pick up Jin in the ocean, and I'm hoping it's not that simple, but I will also assume Daniel's boat was close enough to the island when it "disappeared" that Daniel and his crew (which may or may not include jin) will been taken to wherever, or whenever the island's final destination happens to be.

I am also hoping we get to see more of Libby. She was taken out too soon in my opinion, and Ben's childhood friend Alice absolutely needs to be addressed as well.

Hobbs 1/19/2009 11:51:34 AM

Joe you just showed why the edit and delete button are needed.  lol

Okay, your point is taken and I admit I was a bit harsh.  The relationships I have to admit are not a big deal to me personally except Demond and Penny but that relationship played a bigger part in the overall story...especially since Ben said he is going to kill Penny. 

LittleNell1824 1/19/2009 12:06:42 PM

Ah, Joe. Maybe they'll put the post edit buttons back if you're the one asking. I'm just saying... It's nice to be able to delete duplicate posts and fix typos.

JoeArtistWriter 1/19/2009 1:03:56 PM

Yes, it would have been nice to a delete post button as well as an edit option, but since I'm the guy who wrote the article I don't mind that much, because now it looks like I've generated a buzz.    ;)

Anyway, can't wait til Wednesday night, and I think I may start contributing to Mania as a weekly LOST review guy.

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