MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20
FEAR FACTOR (8 PM, NBC) Watch contestants put on a giant fishbowl helmet, have 20 gallons of ice cold water poured inside it and then filled with live eels, all for the chance to win $50K.
CSI: MIAMI (10 PM, CBS) "Lost Son". Season premiere. A boating accident leads Horatio and his team to a jewelry shop, which leads to a shootout and the death of one of the show's regular cast members.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
BIG BROTHER 5 (8PM, CBS) Season finale. Who's going to win the $500,000, Drew or Cowboy? I'm betting it's Cowboy because after Drew voted off his girlfriend last weekend on the show, chances are he's a dead man.
FATHER OF THE PRIDE (9 PM, NBC) It's the Shrek
AMISH IN THE CITY (9 PM, UPN) Season finale. The five Amish young adults must face whether to return back to their former lives and community or to embrace the outside culture and never see their friends and families again. UPN is promoting it as a "season finale" which I'm guessing means there will be another season.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22
LOST (8 PM, ABC) Series premiere. A plane crashes on a remote tropical island, leaving 48 survivors alone to figure out how to stay alive. And what's that big creature in the jungle that's eating them? And why does everyone have a secret that they want no one to find out? And where did the polar bear come from?
SMALLVILLE (8 PM, WB) "Crusade". Season premiere. Clark's back, but not really: after being ferried off into space by his Kryptonian father, the lad from Smallville is back on Earth but only answers to the name of Kal-El. Meanwhile Chloe's cousin Lois comes from the big city to investigate the death of her relative. Thankfully she wears a tight t-shirt and hugging jeans.
VERONICA MARS (9 PM, UPN) Series premiere. By day she's a 17-year-old in high school, but in the evenings she is a fledgling private investigator for her father's firm as well as tries to solve who killed her best friend. I swear, this is a real TV series.
CSI: NEW YORK (10 PM, CBS) "Blink". Series premiere.
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
CSI (9 PM, CBS) "Viva Las Vegas". Season premiere.The Vegas CSIers are split up to investigate four crime scenes, one involving someone found near Area 51 who was wearing a space alien costume. Look for THIRD ROCK FROM THE SUN's French Stewart putting in a cameo as an alien minster. (Repeat)
ER (10 PM, NBC) Season premiere. The tenth season of the show kicks off with a lot of action as Pratt and Chen have a car accident; Sam tries to ditch her abusive ex-husband; Weaver tries to stall a cop from busting a young woman; and Carter and his girlfriend deal with the aftermath of losing their baby.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24
GENE RODDENBERRY'S ANDROMEDA (7 PM, SCI FI) Season premiere. The fifth and final year (hold your applause) of ANDROMEDA begins on the Sci Fi Channel, the show's new home. After the harrowing events in the season finale, Dylan tries to reassmble the crew of his starship (even though some of them should be dead.) Former BAYWATCH cast member Brandy Ledford joins the cast this season as some kind of babe that wears a pink jumpsuit. Maybe the title of this episode ("The Weight") is the show's writing staff trying to send a secret message about that heavy feeling that they have around their necks...
JOAN OF ARCADIA (8 PM, CBS) Season premiere. Desperate to try and live a normal
STARGATE SG-1 (8 PM, SCI FI) "New Order" The first part of season eight's opening storyline sees the team try and save Colonel O'Neill from losing his mind. (Repeat)
ENTERPRISE (8 PM, UPN) There's no ENTERPRISE this week so hold your hortas until the show's fourth season premiere in seven days. Meanwhile, UPN would like to you watch a repeat showing of the pilot of VERONICA MARS tonight. (Repeat)
STARGATE ATLANTIS (10 PM, SCI FI) "Rising". The show's first episode is repeated showing us how the new team got to the lost city of the Ancients and discovered their nemesis, the Wraith. (Repeat)
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
CAST AWAY (8 PM, ABC) Tom Hanks and a volleyball bond on a tropical island until one is voted off by tribal council. WILSON!
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
THE SIMPSONS (7:30 PM, FOX) "Catch 'Em If You Can". When Homer and Marge leave Springfield for a romantic getaway in Miami, Grampa Simpson and the kids race after them to wreck their plans. (Repeat)
And that'll do for another seven days. Remember to keep your Tivo warm and safe.