Karloff as The Monster
© Universal Pictures

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Making Your Own Monsterfest

Greetings Cinescapers! I know it's late January, but I'm still miffed about the shoddy Monsterfest AMC crammed down my throat last Halloween. "Give me any more of those crappy HALLOWEEN sequels and I'll give you a taste of my fist!" I said to the television in my empty, joyless apartment.

I know I played the whole thing off like Joe Cool at the time, putting on the front of impartial journalism, but I was livid. Outside of print, I was very vocal about my frustration and after engaging a 73-year-old woman in a 62-minute one-sided rant about how AMC is in league with Lucifer, I was forced to resign my post as assistant porter of Stupendous Discount Dollar Store and Pharmacy.

Why am I going on about this? Simple, because I just heard some news that will allow me to boycott AMC this upcoming Halloween and give me the power

Universal's Legacy Edition DVD of the original DRACULA movie.

© Universal

to make every night at home a Monsterfest night. In case you haven't heard Universal Studios is releasing THE MONSTER LEGACY DVD box which will contain virtually all the DRACULA, FRANKENSTEIN and WOLFMAN films the studio made during it's classic period. (ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN isn't on there, but ... well just read.) Now I know with this being a DVD release it's technically a Brian Thomas news item, but in a way haven't these movies become more or less television events, and therefore entered my realm? I hope so otherwise it looks like another black eye from Brian.

Anyway the above set will be released in April, but be warned there will be little in the way of extras. Then again, aren't extras getting a little tiresome?

The classic television show YOU BET YOUR LIFE: THE LOST EPISODES has been released on DVD and now you can go out and rent or buy this baby featuring the wacky antics of Groucho Marx. Alas it's not the comprehensive season-by-season set most fans would have preferred, but it's a start. The box has a cool retro-50s design, which indicates the presence of hipsters, who have no need for chronological order anyway.

Speaking of

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN

© Universal

Abbott and Costello, who once had a television show, so I can claim them as well, on February 10^th Universal is releasing the DVD set THE BEST OF ABBOTT & COSTELLO: VOLUME 1 featuring the boys first eight films for the studio. The set retails for $24.98 and I tell you, that's money well spent. Not only do you get the boys in their heyday, you get laughs, and really aren't the laughs what it's all about?

Purchasing the above set will contribute to the production of additional sets which by volume three will start to include ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN and ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET WHOMEVER JUST WALKED IN THE DOOR, which when paired with THE MONSTER LEGACY box set, will enable you to say, "Good Lord I own a lot of films."

By the way Fantagraphic comics has announced they will be reprinting the entire PEANUTS comic strips in chronological order, starting later this year. Of course by telling you this I've broken a sacred pact with Tony Whitt and in such, have spat in the face of sacred pacts everywhere.

Hey, there's a lot of television on this week so why not keep reading to see what caught my eye?

Want to find out why I didn't mention anything about the upcoming DVD sets of THE FLINSTONES, SCOOBY-DOO, JOHNNY QUEST, and THE JETSONS? Write me at TVWasteland@cinescape.com.

And feel free to let me know of any show you'd like to see listed.

THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS (8 pm, Nik) The police incorrectly believe that Timmy's parents are

Archer finds himself unable to remember the preceding day's memories in "Twilight".

© UPN

TORN CURTAIN (8 pm, TCM) Hitchcock film about a U.S. scientist who defects to Russia in order to steal information. A few good set pieces, but otherwise a pretty lukewarm offering from the director.

EVERWOOD (9 pm, WB) A bulimic wrestler can't keep his weight down, nor his food.

CSI: MIAMI (10 pm, CBS) A gas man is engulfed in flames during a car race. The insurance rates for persons in his profession go up. (Repeat)

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY/LIVE AND LET DIE (8 pm, AMC) Two Moore Bond films, both boast memorable theme songs.

HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING (8 pm, TCM) A ex-window washer bluffs his way to the top of the corporate world.

24 (9:00 pm, FOX) 11 pm 12 am. Sherry wants something in exchange for her help and the President finds out what it is.

CASPER (9 pm, SCIFI) Forgettable live action adaptation of a moderately popular comic features a performance by the most forgettable member of Monty Python, Eric Idle.

ENTERPRISE (8 pm, UPN) Archer

Alfred Hitchcock's classic TORN CURTAIN.

© Universal

SMALLVILLE (8 pm, WB) Clark and Lana both try to kill Chloe because they hate her.

ANGEL (9 pm, FOX) Angel learns that Dana is a vampire slayer. So much for that friendship.

THE FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS (9 pm, SCIFI) The definitive FLINTSTONES live action adventure.

THE STORY OF G.I. JOE (10 pm, TCM) A newspaper writer covers World War II alongside the troops. Stars Burgess Meredith, in one of his many non-Penguin roles.

TRU CALLING (8 pm, FOX) Tru falls for a doomed firefighter. (Repeat)

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9 pm, CBS) Catherine must decide if she should accept money from her corrupt dad. I think we can agree the answer is yes. (Repeat)

WITHOUT A TRACE (10 pm, CBS) When a motivational speaker disappears the team wonders why he wasn't able to talk himself out of being abducted.

JOAN OF ARCADIA (8 pm, SCI-FI) God tells Joan to become a cheerleader, proving once and for all that cheerleaders are God's chosen few. (Repeat)

TREMORS: THE SERIES (8 pm, SCIFI) Burt attempts to quell a town inhabitant's fear of a potential Graboid infestation. (Repeat)

STARGATE SG-1 (9 pm, SCIFI) Carter starts investigating her current beau. Troubling information is uncovered. Yikes.

REBA (8 pm, WB) Van tries to pass Reba off as his maid so Reba mops the floor with this face.

VERTIGO/PSYCHO (8 pm, TCM) Hitchcock double feature. First film has Jimmy Stewart falling in love with a dead woman, the second has Anthony Perkins as boy who loves his mother.

GOLDFINGER (10:10 pm, AMC) Bond thwarts

Alec Baldwin on the stage of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

© NBC

TEEN TITANS (9 pm, TOON) Cyborg becomes aware of his limits.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30, NBC) Alec Baldwin hosts.

INDEPENDENCE DAY (7 pm, FOX) Alien creatures attack earth.

QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY (8 pm, NBC) Another popular cable show that a major network is showing re-runs of. In this case, three hours of re-runs.

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR/AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION/AMITYVILLE: THE DEMON (8 pm, AMC) A "real" haunted house, inspired these three moderately entertaining horror films. That is, entertaining if you enjoy the ludicrous.

SEX AND THE CITY (9 pm, HBO) Samantha helps spread a sleazy video.

SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON (10:30 pm, TCM) A cavalry captain prepares for retirement in this John Ford classic.

And that's all I wrote, with the exception of my e-mail address following this bit: Tvwasteland@cinescape.com

TV Wasteland is our weekly Television column.