DVD Review


MASTERS OF HORROR: The Washingtonians

By: Tim Janson
Review Date: Saturday, September 15, 2007

I have to admit, The Washingtonians had me going until about halfway through the episode. I thought I was watching a straight horror, but even better, it turned out to be an outrageous black comedy-horror that is deftly handled by Director Peter Medak. The teleplay was written by Richard Chizmar and co-star, Jonathan Schaech, and based on a story by Bentley Little. Mike and Pam Franks have inherited Mike’s grandmother’s house in Virginia and move there with their daughter Amy. The house is filled with all sorts of antiques and early American artifacts. Mike makes a surprise discovery behind a painting of George Washington. Hidden beneath the canvas is a letter in which the writer talks about eating the flesh of children. It is signed with the initials “G.W.” and also includes a fork that appears to be carved out of human bone.
 
Mike shows the letter to Samuel, a friend of his grandfathers, and Samuel asks…no, DEMANDS that mike sell the letter. Mike refuses and that’s when the trouble begins. Soon a gang of men dressed in Colonial American costumes is banging on his door, demanding he turn over the letter. Mike and his family flee back to their home but the trouble doesn’t end. He shares the letter with a history professor friend who tells him his family is in great danger from the Washingtonians! The professor reveals that George Washington, the father of our country, was, in truth, a cannibal! George had a taste for virgin flesh and his symbol of a “cherry” tree made me laugh out loud and realize the director had pulled one over on me. Cherry tree…virgin flesh…that’s gold!
 
Mike soon finds out that this cannibalistic cult of Washingtonians still thrives today and his grandparents were both members. Does mike turn over the letter and keep Washington’s secret safe or does he keep it hidden and become the main course at their next gathering?
 
I loved how the story drew on Da Vinci Code influence. In that blockbuster, the secret society are protecting the truth about Jesus, here they are protecting the outrageous secret that Washington ate human flesh! He apparently acquired the taste during that hostile winter at Valley Forge…
 
What makes the episode work so well is that the performances are all played pretty straight…all except for the various Washingtonians who are over-the-top in their performances. They pinch the cheeks of little Amy and tell her she’s “cute enough to eat” and they mean it! Oh yes…there is plenty of gore as the Washingtonians much one various body parts and entrails…we even get to see Thomas Jefferson torn to pieces. Terrifying but downright hilarious. One of the best episodes of season two! 


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Comments/Responses
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metalwater • Sep 15, 2007, 03:44am •
The Founding Fathers are all Free Masons...and Washington D.C. is built in the shape of a Pentagram. And what about the Pyramid and the "All seeing eye" on the dollar bill??? And then there is the Egyptian Obelisk called the Washington Monument??? For a Christian nation, these symbols should be considered paganism. These folks are all satanists.

Benjamin Franklin had bodies buried in, and around his house...this is a historical fact. Was he a serial killer, a grave robber...or into ritual sacrifice...or something else even more sinister??? So, it makes me wonder, is this Masters Of Horror segment just an interesting horror tale, or the actual truth about something real???

P.S.-Even the Pilgrims resorted to cannibalism...so, maybe there is more than meets the eye here!!!

LittleNell • Sep 15, 2007, 07:51am •
I have to rent this series, it sounds really good.

I've never heard of that particular Ben Franklin legend. I'll have to see if I can find anything on it. Maybe he wasn't the one actually holding the kite string for all those electrical experiements?

metalwater • Sep 15, 2007, 08:00am •
The Ben Franklin thing is an historical fact. He was also suspected of being a traitor, a double agent if you will, who was working in league with the Red Coats...the latter of which I believe may also have been a fact. I certainly know that the suspicion of the latter is factual...whether there is conclusive evidence that he was a traiter or not, I can't say.

Now...as with respect to the fore, dead bodies were found all over the place under the floor boards of Ben Franklin's house, much like the movie Disturbia. This would include the bodies of children and others.

LittleNell • Sep 15, 2007, 08:09am •
http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/ten_bodies.htm

I just looked it up. The link above is actually an excerpt from an article from the London Sunday Times. It looks like Ben's buddy was a medical doctor who ran a school. They suspect that Ben let his doctor friend use his house to bury the illegal cadavers commonly used at the time in teaching. This is where a lot of those old 'science vs faith' arguments come from in those old gothic horror stories. Men of science felt frustrated that they couldn't experiment on dead bodies in order to save live ones.

AlpineWoods • Sep 15, 2007, 10:09am •
I liked this episode when I saw it. A good horror/comedy feel to it. I especially liked the ending with George W. Bush on the new one-dollar bill. But the gore wasn't as plenty as the review says. I'd like to believe that Washington really was a cannibal, or Ben Franklin was a killer. It could very well have been true. Possiblities. Think about it.

redhairs99 • Sep 15, 2007, 05:39pm •
Maybe I missed something, but I though this episode was one of the worst episodes of the series down there with the deer woman episode and Homecoming.

tjanson • Sep 15, 2007, 11:25pm •
I don't know if you missed anything. Black comedy isn't for everyone, I suppose.

redhairs99 • Sep 16, 2007, 11:55am •
I am a fan of black comedy, but this episode was just stupid.

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