Pseudobulbar Paraphroneogenesis: Uncontrollable Laughing at the Insanity of Existence.

[VAGINA] or Websites Go 360 Degree 3D VirtualReality [EXIT REALITY]
(Wed 08/06/2008 03:02pm)

Since no one 'ere at Mania is doing SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY & SEX News, and I think 3 out of 2 of those are of parallel interest of fellow lunatik (that's Maniac - Ed) genre fans., I am heretountofor taking it upon myself to do so in my little blog.

(*looks at title* *rolls eyes* what does this have to do with VAGINA Maelstrom? - Ed)

*punch Ed in the jewels*

Everything of import has to do with Vaginas Ed. 

(*high pitched squeel* if it doesn't, it will by the time he's done with it, I'm sure *cough*  - Ed)

Now we're talkin.

OK, Are you sitting comfortably bitches? good, then we'll begin.

---

The Transmogrification of the web into William Gibson's Cyberspace. 

That has been the holy grail of internet goals since, (well next to tele-dildonics) since before the web even existed.

Some of us have been waiting for this to happen since we first read Neuromancer and started BBSing on local dialup boards. There have been a couple of inspired attempts that misfired to date, but none have taken off (unless you count setting up your own webpage in second life -Ed)

Enter ExitReality, the latest and in my opinion, a viable start-point, to those 3DVR Gibsonian web quest ends.

EXIT REALITY.

"ExitReality" is a small 3.6 meg download that plugs into your browser and here's the killer-app: it attempts to turn every web page you visit (starting with yours, if you have one 'natch) into a 3D VR cathedral-like environment that you can saunter about megalomanically with your avatar.

More to the point, it does it on the fly using a built in template and it does it quickly, so the "effect" is a zero-effort-on-the-part-of-the-netizen immediate transition to a VR environment, simply by plugging in any website (or blogs - Ed) address.

This is early yet in development, so don't expect lightening fast Neo-like flying through a fully rendered high rez matrix'ed webiverse, or anti-grav VR sex (you know who you are) but you can see the beginnings here of a viable starting point.

Example: here's what you see when you surf to tMods compact edition (one of my websites) when you punch the url into ExitReality.

AYCS First my webpage is placed on the air-mounted display in the foreground, and in full.

Second, there's a remarkable lack of purple on moi's avatar, for which I apologize.  And by "apologize" I of course mean, "I sent a smilex toxin bomb to the developers".

Third, walk up to the air-mounted display, and it looks like this:

Note 1:if your/the/any Maniac's webpage is longer, it will auto-scroll to display all the way down to the bottom of your page and then roll around back again to the top in a perpetual loop.

Note 2: if you punch the air-display, it will load the web-page in standard 2D format in a new window.

2A) As you can see from Pic 1 above unless I poked your eyes out at some point, it transfers your webpage into the 3D navigate'able room behind the display., with scalable images from your website placed about the room in the order they appear on your blog from top of the page to bottom.

2B) Any hyperlinks to other pages on your site are then placed in the room on signposts.

here's the view from the back of the room (looking towards the front of the room) with the links auto-placed on signposts (and they're clickable)

Mighty impressive if you ask me. however it's only a start, and needs some improvement.

Problem 1: The "air-display" (in Pic 2) doesn't render small text from your website very well.

It may depend on one's graphics card, but for moi at least, small text is unreadable, on the air-display, even at close range.  I believe it's is only meant to be a scrolling mini-version/overview of the website at this juncture, but it's soooo close to being functional as a 3D webpage/blog reader.

Fix that up bitch.

(If you can read small text with your graphics card, please inform me, or I'll rape your ikea cabinet)

Pity that because if one incorporated a scalable (non-aliasing) text-reading platform into the air-display one could stand in front of one's/any lunatik's website as in photo 2 and read the entire blog from within the room.

Problem 2: When you click the signpost links they load up the webpage in question in a new browser window, but only in regular 2d format.

Preferably by default one shouldn't leave the VR-web unless one wishes to.

If I had the developers ear (put the knife down Maelstrom - Ed) I'd sugg something like loading up a short warp-speed animation sequence or a tunneling animation or a transporter effect, et cetera followed by entering _the 3D VR version_ of a punched link.

Problem 3: the hyperlink signposts are too close together.

You can alter your perspective (using the num pad + and - pgup and pgdn controls) as I did in the pic above, to see the links from an above or below vantage, subsequently putting many of them on screen at the same time, which has its benefits, but it's a bit tricky and takes some getting used to.

I would think it'd be better were the signposts several (VR) feet apart.  

It doesn't appear to be much of a problem on this webpage, but on webpages with many links (including sidebars with blog-rolls and the like) the signposts are often so close together that it makes it difficult to navigate effectively.

Fix that too, bitch.

Killer Application 1: Your Own Photographic Museum.

From toying about it, I've noticed that if you have a webpage with a series of photos scrolling down it, on the ER version you can walk up and down the room and pull a 360 around your photos, and most impressively, your photos are quite _nicely scaled_.

Effectively turning your 2D photo page into a 3D personal museum that you can navigate.

With no effort on your part.

I haven't tried this with "artistic photos" (read: pr0n - Ed) *cough* yet, but that might be interesting.

(how come you always manage to work vaginas into your blogs mXm? - Ed)

It's a gift Ed.

If you'd like to see what your photos, the web and/or your webpage look like in ER,  transport your virtual molecules over to ExitReality and download the surprisingly small 3.6 meg app and plug your website address into its url vagina.

It's the early stages yet, but imo if enough people get on development board and the programmers are open to suggs, I think what we 'ave here, may be the beginning of the transmogrification of the web into William Gibson's Cyberspace.

..with the ALL-IMPORTANT bit in toe

(that's "tow" mXm - Ed)

*Stab Ed in the Toe*

(Ow! I stand uh ..*hop* corrected - Ed)

Right, the important bit: with no programming required or indeed any effort at all on the part of the web page owners or the netizen.

It's all done for us, on the fly by the ExitReality engine.

which is integral, because netizens are a lazy lot.

It's not perfect, it won't render some advance-designed webpages, but I think, it's a good start.

And now, In closing, for those of you that only clicked on this blog because you were horribly mislead by the first word of this entry (VAGINA - Ed) for your patience and indulgence, we present this SPECIAL SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT containing VAGINA!

*tug down on purple shirt*

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

words to live by.

[Pathud - Ed]

toodles,
michael X maelstrom.

mXm's TDK (1 Liner -Ed) ExperiMENTAL MultiMedia Movie Review - Part 1
(Fri 07/25/2008 04:34am)

Greetings fellow Lunatiks! (that's Maniacs - Ed)

*punch Ed in the jewels*

There's just too much meat to feast on in TDK  to put into 1 review, without it becoming a labyrinthine tomb.

So instead let's focus on 1 or 2 key elements per entry.

ExperiMENTAL MultiMedia Experience: This review has background Music associated with it, for those of you that are (also - Ed) insane and prefer a stranger fuller more sensory experience.

Punch ((HERE)) to load song from YouTube and play track in the background whilst reading below - I think the lyrics suit the theme of this entry))

---

1st up, an affectation-analysis I've mentioned in passing elsewhere on Mania:

I believe Joker licks his lips in that disturbing manner, with deadly psychological intent.

In order to keep his rictus wounds _fresh and raw_ as though they'd perennially just happened yesterday.

In that way Joker's insanity is tied to his wounds.

Anyone that has suffered abuse at the hands of others, or that knows pain and loss, knows that the altered-state it sends you reeling into (sadly)

..doesn't
....last
......forever.

Time does heal wounds. Of its own volition. Whether you want it to or not.  And you may find, you may not.

Anyone that has begun to heal and has the fading scabs (be they physical or psychological) to remind them, knows that when the rage and insanity dies down, you may feel relief but you may also feel weakened, and you may even find yourself wishing you'd never begun to heal, because without the active rage, without the active insanity, what are you left with but acceptance and quiet suffering?

And maybe you find that all that you can do is self-perceive that in some fashion you've officially become "a victim".

Just like everyone else.

At that moment of self-realization, some people have likely thought,

"Fuck That Shit, Give Me Back My Wound!, Give Me Back My Rage!!, Give Me Back My Insanity! Give Me Back The Source of My Strength!"

"I will not go quietly into the (dark -Ed) night".

In my view when Joker licks his lips, he's keeping (what he believes to be - Ed) the root of his insanity, and the source of his power, as a perennially fresh, raw OPEN WOUND.

One that he will never allow to heal. 

Not simply because he doesn't want to heal, but because he refuses to become a victim. 

Better to be Predator than prey.

I believe that's what Ledger was going for with that physical affectation.

And that's part of why his performance is so bloody brilliant.  It's multi-layered, it's extremely well thought out, it's eerily spot on. 

Ledger clearly inhabited the dark recesses of Joker's twisted mind and brought me (ahem - Ed) uh I mean Joker into the perpetual-motion persistence-of-insane-vision cinematic lexicon like no other.

If you'd like to read a more indepth psychological evaluation of "The Joker" written a year -before- the movie was released, please transport your virtual molecules ))_HERE_((

(it now serves as "Part II" to this little TDK-nuance-analysis series, because Nolan and Ledger clearly incorporated the core of "The Killing Joke"'s Joker, right down to the

"sometimes I remember (my past) one way, sometimes another, if I have to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice")

mXm

Today's Movie Quote: “It's possible pig.. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass.."

/MANIA HACKS/
(Mon 07/21/2008 08:05am)

1. mXm MANIA HACK TIP #1 How to insert pictures into your Mania blogs.

A) use firefox (FF - Ed)

B) upload the image you want to insert into your blog to www.imageshack.com

*B1*) If you want to use an image from a website, right click on it and hit "properties" to purloin its web address.  Copy it and paste the image url into imageshack's (upload from) "url" option as denoted by the imageshack button "url".  It'll fetch the image for you from the website.

or you can use the Imageshack browse option to upload an image from your PC.

*B2* Do NOT skip step B and use the technique below to copy directly from the _website's_ image because you would then be STEALING bandwidth from that site _everytime_ your blog is read at Mania. 

That would be evil. 

If that doesn't dissuade you, then I may have a place for you in my organization. 

C) load the image from the shack into its own FF tab so that it is visible and on-screen.

(if you want the full picture unmodified copy the very last image url Imageshack proffers titled "direct link to image" and paste it up into a sep tab or window to load the image)

D) align your mouse with the extreme left side of the now-imageshack-hosted photo,

hold down your left mouse button and run it across to the far right, the picture should change to indicate it has been highlighted.  Once highlighted you can let go of the mouse and it will remain highlighted. 

This may take some practice particularly if you are the penguin (you have chubby clippers? - Ed) or if you are Two Face (uh because it's difficult to do much with his fingers where he is now? - Ed)

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *tilt head*

E) right click on the highlighted photo and a menu will appear.

F) THE IMPORTANT BIT: click the "copy" menu option. 

Not the "copy image" option.  Yes I know it's counter-intuitive, Yes it's Crazy.  Welcome to my world bitch.

G) Jump to your Mania blog entry, and click inside your Mania blog/msg editor box at the location you want the image to appear and hit control-v. 

That is all.

If you've done it correctly, you will see the image appear IN your blog msg editor. 

And it will now appear in your Mania blog entry when it's saved

Like so:





(thanks to The Mania Tech Team for turning this hack/hidden feature back on -Ed)

---

2. mXm MANIA HACK TIP #2 How To Get Active Links Into Your Profile

If you don't know what an active link is, click my profile here:

http://www.mania.com/michaelxaviermaelstrom/profile.html

notice that "School" and "Occupation" have active links applied to them, respectively BLOG THEME SONG and MAELSTROM HQ.

Clicking on either will bring you to uh either.

To add your own active links to your profile, edit your profile and plug in basic html "a href" link code into whatever category.  For example, I turned "School" and "Occupation" ON (they defaulted to off in my Mania profile) then inserted a href link code to lead to my webpage and my lovely (insane -Ed) theme song.

To add music, your song needs to exist in streaming format on the web someplace.  Preferably in real media format and preferably at a low bit rate, 20k is good; under 56k so users can listen without endless buffering.

I can't provide "a href" link code examples for html newbies, because this blog would just interpret them and turn them into links, you wouldn't see em anyway.

So let's try it this way, the code would look like this:

(a href="http://www.mywebsiteaddress.com" target=_blank)Maelstrom HQ(/a)

*replace the open parenthesis "(" and close parenthesis ")" with the less-then and greater-than symbols on your keyboard respectively. 

*"target=_blank" is optional, it tells it to open the hyper link in a new browser window or tab when it's clicked, depending on your/your visitor's browser settings.

3. mXm MANIA HACK TIP #3 How To See Mania News (LIVE as it's updated, plus new and older news) In an RSS Reader.

Surf to or boot your RSS reader.

If you don't have one, you can use google's ace online version here:
http://www.google.com/reader/view/#overview-page

and then gently insert this Mania feed into your RSS reader's vagina:

(if you're a virgin and it's your first time, if not, poundcake away, because every one you've ever met that says it likes it any other way is LYING)

oh sorry, relapse.

plug this feed in:

http://cdn-www.mania.com/mania_recent_articles_and_news_category_0.html?format=rss

Voila, now you can keep track of Mania's News (old, new and really new) as its being updated LIVE in your RSS reader.

The Mania News Feed Also works with Newsgator.com.

Notice, Notice, Notice, Notice:  Did you Notice? bloglines.com doesn't play well with Mania's News RSS feed.

(reports errors, doesn't update, wholly un co-operative -Ed).

That's it, that's all I can think of for now.


(original portrait of mXm by Mike Deodato Jr spectacularly re-colored by Zaratus at Deviant Art -Ed)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with an alleged ..Psycho-TheRapist.. at Arkham Asylum and I'm just dying to show him my new disappearing penis trick.

toodles,
michael X maelstrom.

/Test of Tube Insertion/

FREE SEX [or Send *Your Name* to the Moon]
(Sat 07/12/2008 05:53pm)

OK (according to the shockingly minimalist word and a half from this blog's title that appear on the Mania front page - Ed) I lied.

but now that I 'ave your attention..

Yes! The Planetary Society in conjunction with NASA Present:

Send Your Name To The Moon

As with the far-more-enjoyable-than-sleeping-with-Regis-Philbin Fly Your Name To Mars aboard The Phoenix Lander special offer, once again, for a limited time, you can sign up to have your self, your friends, your family (and/or that annoying neighbor -Ed) jettisoned into space!

Or at least their nomenclature.

/BEGIN Special Free Offer Article Extract/

MESSAGES FROM EARTH

Here's How YOU Can Be a Part of the Story of Space Exploration!

The Planetary Society — along with space agencies around the world — sends Messages from Earth throughout our solar system.

Messages from Earth are special hardware mounted to the spacecraft with names, words, and even images included on them. There have been mini-silica DVD's, etched foil, a microchip lithograph, even on a MAPex experimental chip…

The Planetary Society is committed to trying to bring the public on board each and every mission launched into space from Earth.

Our most recent message arrived on Mars aboard NASA's Phoenix mission on May 25, 2008.

The story of space exploration is being written everyday. When the next lander touches down on the surface of Mars or the next spacecraft enters orbit around a giant planet ... you could be there too!

/END Send-Your-Name-To-The-Moon special offer article extract/

In addition, you will receive a (printable) certificate to commemorate your journey to the moon.

A certificate which looks remarkably like this:

oh dear, wrong photo, how ever did that happen.

(that is the worst NSFW2SFW editing job I've ever seen - Ed)

Well we do like to keep things relatively clean for the kiddies since, abaddon help us, I'm fairly sure some of you miscreant Maniacs might have actually procreated, but you know, edited yet while simultaneously allowing for image re-construction should the terminally insane be so inclined.

Also I have a criminal empire to run you know.

Right, the actual certificate you receive from The Planetary Society when you sign up:

 

Suitable for framing and hanging at obtuse angles in your subterranean lair., next to the "artistic photos" you took of Babs Gordon.

Caveat Emptor: 

(more of a Caveat Liberum - this special offer is FREE -Ed)

*punch Ed in the nose*

This is not a joke, the TPS/Nasa offer above is legit.

TPS did state that you could enter your family dog's name on their previous Fly-Your-Name-To-Mars Phoenix Lander program, ostensibly leaving the cell door open for some lunacy.

But you might not want to frak about too much. 

(it might be advisable to enter your proper name on one entry, and play with a second entry, to insure lift-off - Ed)

Punch ((HERE)) (ow! - Ed)  oh dear,

I mean Punch (('ere)) to receive your own certificate and Fly Your Name To The Moon!

mXm

LEGEND OF ZELDA ONLINE [online games, ports, hacks & mods]
(Wed 06/18/2008 04:54pm)

And my erstwhile quest to find out what the abaddon is going on with Legend of Zelda Online is at an end intersection.

(apparently nothing is going on on the official online front as yet - Ed)

and what IS up with that?

(a fully featured LOZ online game would probably slay the internets -Ed)

possibly but in any case in the interim, I  found some of the originals playable online + some small indie LOZ online games + a very hip Halo Mod that fans might be interested in using to satiate their Triforce hunger.

to wit

The Legend of Zelda - Online Games - Flash Player Required

The Legend of Zelda: The Seeds of Darkness Online Game (not bad)

The Legend of Zelda And The Lampshade of No Real Significance Online Game (daft)

The Legend of Zelda: Can of Whoop-Ass Online Game

 

The Legend of Zelda - Online Games - Ports - Java Required

The Legend of Zelda (online playable port of original NES game)

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (online playable port of the original NES game)

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (online playable port of original greyscale Gameboy game)

The Legend Zelda: Link's Awakening DX (online playable port of the DeluXe color Gameboy game - excellent)

 

Hacks of original NES Legend of Zelda - Ports - Java Required

The Legend of Zelda: Ganon's Revenge (online playable hack of the original NES LOZ)

Zelda - Timecrisis: Fall of the Moon (online playable hack of the original NES LOZ)

The Legend of Zelda: The Search for Link (online playable hack of the original NES LOZ)

---

but alas none of these are massive-multiplayer, which to be Link (he means Frank - Ed) *punch Ed in the nose* is what we're really after.

To those ends, I 'aven't found anything (c)official but if you've got HALO for the PC, there is a MOD available that allows you to uh (mod - Ed) the game into a sort of multiplayer online Legend of Zelda.

Which is an impressive step up from what I did

(which was to run about the free MMORPG Runescape with a pointed hat, a long green t-shirt, and brown boots, whilst occasionally stopping a stranger to ask where Hyrule was - Ed)

Sure Ed, but you neglected to mention the bit where I'm not wearing pants.

(I must have blocked it out along with all OTHER traumas you've given me - Ed)

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA regressive hypnosis here you come Ed!

Yes, I'm quite impressive in a naked Joker appendage sort of way particularly given it was a long shirt and all the princesses ran away screaming (if he does say so himself - Ed)  but I don't think I made it work quite as well as these 2 Zelda Cosplayers did.

ye can Quest ((here)) (and read comment #13 -Ed) to acquire the details and the download links for the impressive HALO Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Multiplayer Online Game mod.

NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE  NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE

(Did you NOTICE? - Ed)

*tazer Ed's left testicle*

If  you know of any OTHER LOZ online games, please feel free to add it 'ere, as I should like to amass a complete list.

*pause*

Or I'll tazer *YOUR* left testicle.

(for some of these BDSM Maniacs, that may not quite serve as a threat - Ed)

[Pathud]

regards,



Michael X. Maelstrom.