michaelxaviermaelstrom's Blog

Pseudobulbar Paraphroneogenesis: Uncontrollable Laughing at the Insanity of Existence.

Test Your Foot IQ
(Fri 02/09/2007 01:21am)

Greetings Fellow Lunatiks!

(that's "Maniac's" - Ed)

You say Tomato I say bugger off Ed.

How smart is Your
Right Foot ???

Just try this. It is from an

orthopedic surgeon...

This will boggle your mind

and you will keep trying to see if

you can outsmart your foot but

you can't.


(Ostensibly because it's the *second appendage you have on or in your body that is smarter than your brain. - Ed)

*not including inanimate objects, where applicable.  You know who you are.

INSTRUCTIONS



1. lift your right foot off the floor

and make clockwise circles.


2. Now, while doing this,

draw the number "6" in the air

with you right hand.

 

Your foot will change direction!

See if you can correct it.

You and I both know how stupid this is,

but before the day is done you are going to try and fail again, yet all is not lost!

if your brain has any brains you will of course attempt to turn this into a wager at a club/bar and/or private girl's school that will somehow result in that person you've been stalking and/or Ooogling (Jessica Chobot - Ed) losing some of their clothing when they likewise fail and lose the bet.

In which case. I expect my cut.

Please Send photographs of various levels of undress in a brown paper bag to L.O.O.N.I.E.S Ink (Loyal Order Of Ninjas Inmates & Evil Sociopaths - Ed)
P.O Box 42 Behind the Pipes.

*note: Special thanks to "Number One" for sending me the original (strangely _originally_ far more scientific and far less lewd - Ed) instructions for this bio-mind frag.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-- michaelXmaelstrom


WeightLoss with JessicaChobot
(Fri 02/02/2007 01:02am)

mXm's Log Stardate: *Scribble* *Scribble* *erase* carry the 2..
                                      uh February something, Year 7 of the Big O's, the Nought'ies.

Dear Scarlet,

(for some ludicrous reason he's apparently named his Diary log The Scarlet Skimperpare -Ed)

Montescule! (-- mXm's lisping dwarf midget sidekick and thing - Ed)

)(Yeth Mathta!)(

Montescule, Eat Ed's framed photo of The Lone Ranger.

)(Yeth Mathta! AAAAH-RUM-CHUM-CHUM)(

(Nooo, give it here you vertically challenged gimp Aaaaaaaaa *yank* *uncrease* *iron* *iron* *iron* - Ed)

Well that ought keep him occupied for awhile.

*hunh hunh hem*

*tug down on shirt*

Dear Scarlet,

Put on weight over Christmas.  Uhg.

In an attempt to avail myself of at least the possibility of the femmes not running-away-screaming-incoherently this spring..

(grammatically-suspect run-on-sentence BREATH break - Ed)

..I've commenced-au-festival my..

Post-Holiday Exercise Program!

Step 1. Download Sticky-Notes for Desktop. (Completed)

Step 2
. Place large yellow "Lose Weight Fatso. Make it So!" Sticky on Desktop. (Completed)

Step 3
. Download Dance Music.

On account of my PC mp3 collection consists largely of exercise-unfriendly Lacuna Coil, Psychophile, Nightwish, Hinterland, The Morrighan, Fields of the Nephilim, Siouxsie, This Mortal Coil, Michelle Belanger, From Autumn to Ashes, Damien Rice, Mary Lou Lord, Tristan Prettyman, Anna Nalick, K.T Tunstall, Tori Amos, Kate Bush, Feist, Heavenly, Kill Creep, Nine Inch Nails, The Walkmen, Danzig, Interpol, Radiohead, Joe Wilson, Miles Davis, Billie Holiday, Leonard Cohen, Gorky's Zygotic Mynci..

(a mortician would be proud - Ed)

*cough*

DJ Tiesto and Shape U.K here I come!

I have yet to decide on my main workout "theme song". 

I'm thinking of going with Akon/Snoop Dogg's unedited "I wanna love you".

No reason.

Step 4. Workout.

(this one is much more amusing to watch than steps 1,2 and 3 - Ed)

If there's anyway to avoid this particular step, I'd be much obliged if someone would share it.

("no pain, no gain" - Ed)

As axioms go, I find I prefer "no pain? No Pain"

(_that_ is why you fail - Ed)

Go Away Yoda.

Now as anyone knows, one must exercise the mind as well as the body, all that remains to put my master plan in full (disturbing - Ed) motion is to see if we can't convince Jessica Chobot to aid in my noble quest by participating in a healthy vigorous re-enactment of a Hollywood film scene.

I'm not terribly picky,

we could do a Peter O'Toole, Catherine Hepburn witty repartee scene from The Lion in Winter.

http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/7224/lioninwintermb2.jpg

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..A Woody Allen, Diane Keaton intellectually stimulating scene from Annie Hall.


http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/4141/10zz4.jpg

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or my thespian preference, the Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore molding-clay scene from Ghost.

http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/9844/ghostdemipatricklu4.jpg

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*pause*

Look, JessicaChobot could be turned ineffably on by green hair, pasty albino skin and a stylish penchant for purple suits.

..it could 'appen.

Close Log.

Stop laughing at me Scarlet.

Wench.

michaelXmaelstrom.

Extrapolate My Iguana '07.


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