Ratner Set for Incredible SHRINKING Man - Apr 19, 2008 - 01:53pm
And I still say if you took "Changing Places" and had the 2 old farts make a bet that they could pluck a chronic masturbating perverted vagrant out of an alley (while he was trenchcoat flashing a dilapidated poster of a moose -Ed) and turn him into a big movie director, you'd wind up with Brett Ratner. NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo well. I thought his best film was Red Dragon, not just his best film, but a bloody good film - there's real talent in that movie. (AHA so apparently chronic masturbating perverted moose-flashing vagrants can direct good movies - Ed) and? most of Hollywood's directors are chronic perverts Ed. But X3? ^Raise-Baseball-Bat NEIN! *WHAM*WHAM*WHAM* it's the flippant megalomaniacal Schumacher-like disrespect for the comic book legacy on display in the X3 film that warrants Ratner the or at least my baseball-bat bashings. Also at last call, Halle Berry was begging convention fans to petition Fox to make an X-men 4 movie. As they're apparently not returning the original casts calls. Look, of all the ways I wanted to see Halle Berry Beg, that was not the one on the top of my butterscotch pudding fantasy list. I'm with *gaze back* uh that bloke wot said I hope the "all new, all younger" (all not related to the original franchise because after what Ratner did, we're not risking it - Ed) all-new X-men franchize isn't going to be a repeat of the D-EVOLUTION that I felt took place when the 90's X-Men animated series was needlessly replaced by that apparently-drawn-by-your-kid-brother-while-he-was-OD'ing-on-Riddlin "X-Men Evolution" series. But you know, to each their own opine. (.."however inferior to his it may be" - Ed) however inferior to mine it ma.. *WHAM* I hate it when he does that. [Pathud]

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No Vaginas For Michael - Apr 19, 2008 - 11:03am
Addendum: After having consulted with my chef, the lawyers, Ann Coulter and a patent clerk I am now the proud founder of an ALL NEW tax-exempt organization! -------------- *don bathrobe* *mount unicorn* *gallop into Maniac Asylum center square* -------------- Hear Ye, Here Ye! "THE MICHAEL CONTINUUM" (apparently for people named Michael, (c)Maelstrom Ink -Ed) has now given birth to a sister organization! -------------- Yes, a new chapter (apparently dedicated to solving the plight brought to our attention in this article by "The Virgin ..At-The-Time-of The-Writing-Of-This-Article-But-We're-Not-So-Sure Now" Mary Magdalene Smith., yes, an organization whose time has uh come., dedicated to raising.. ..The Vagina-to-Michael ratio! - Ed) -------------- Yes, ladies and gentlemen, today is born: "THE MICHAEL CUNTINUUM" -------------- *Blow gazoo* -------------- Special consideration for prompt uh entry will be given to the uh ..*gaze down from unicorn* *reach down and pluck up applicant from crowd* ..private-girl-school-outfit-clad femmes. *gallop* *gallop* *gallop*

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No Vaginas For Michael - Apr 19, 2008 - 10:08am
Dear Mary, I love Virgins. Come to big purple daddy. ------------------------- (you ol smoothy, ..eesh - Ed) Go Away Ed. WTF kind of world are we livin in when there's No Vagina for Michaels? Look Mary, as the founder of "The Michael Continuum" I would like to register this official complaint: *punch Ed in the face* and I'd like to eruditely state this: "This town needs an enema.," *pause* "only lower down then up a bit" "yes, right there, oo that's a nice one baby" v-*lower blind* (insert the sounds of seduction: you know, hammering, chain-sawing, Benny Hill chase music, an aardvark screaming, penguins dancing and birds moo'ing) ^-*raise-blind* So, *puff on Mr. Bubble pipe* what are you thinking? I'll tell you wot I'm thinkin Mary, I'm thinkin I have an IQ of 169 (allegedly, you know according to one of those online IQ surveys which are about as reliable as Commissioner Gordon's Joker-apprehension-squad junior-police-force anti-skidmark underwear -Ed) you'll pay for that later Ed *drop anvil on Ed's foot* (OW MOTHERF*CK - Ed) I lied about the Later part Ed. AND YET despite my having an IQ (allegedly - Ed) higher than Einstein's, after this clarification, I STILL don't 'ave a clearer freakin bloody clue wot all this is about. You know beyond my initial expostulate, which as near as I can tell has been _both_ simultaneously confirmed and denied. But I do love your style Mary. And of course, in particular, your virgin vagina. --michaelXmaelstrom.

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