New Moon Movie Review - Mania.com



Mania Grade: D

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  • Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Anna Kendrick, Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning
  • Written by: Melissa Rosenberg
  • Directed by: Chris Weitz
  • Series:

New Moon Movie Review

New Moon: The Movie I Most Want to See When I Grow Up

By Rob Vaux     November 19, 2009


New Moon Movie Review
© Mania/ Robert Trate

 

What a horrid person Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is. How selfish. How spoiled. How weak. That such a figure could serve as a heroine to millions speaks to the utter vacuum of ideas in the Twilight saga. She exists solely as wish fulfillment, a narcissistic pipe dream for queen bees and queen-bee wannabes whose only professed purpose is to stand at the center of the universe. Stephenie Meyer has become rich beyond the dreams of avarice by catering to such infantile desires, based around a main character whose utter moral repugnance has been lost on the throngs who emulate her.
 
Consider how every other figure in New Moon reacts to Bella's presence. They fawn over her like spellbound puppy dogs, accepting her moods, her problems and her capricious desires without question. Her vampire beau Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) continues his obsessed stalker romance with her, along with Native American werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner) to form a tense love triangle. Edward and his family throw a birthday party for Bella, mooning about how special she is, and then up and leaving to "protect" her from their bloodlust. Her high school friends fret and worry, but they don't understand what it is to be unique and extraordinary, and to have to choose between shirtless supernatural rivals who love her so much they'd rather die than give her up.
 
Bella rewards them all by either toying with their emotions or barely taking notice of them. She humiliates her lovestruck friend Mike (Michael Welch) in the most demeaning manner possible, actively plays Jacob and Edward off of each other, and drives her poor father (Billy Burke) up the wall by disappearing for days on end. None of it carries any sense of consequence or ramification for her, and we never see any sign that any other character might merit consideration. New Moon sacrifices them all in favor of its protagonist's navel-gazing theatrics.
 
It would be easier to bear if she demonstrated any of the strength or independence they keep attributing to her. Unfortunately she remains passive and helpless before every contrived supernatural threat, save for those moments when she actively flings herself into danger. Naturally, she's rescued--how will the world go on without her?--but her behavior makes you wonder why anyone would bother.
 
And yet we're supposed to bother, a fact which New Moon makes us painfully aware of through scene after insipid scene. Bella's happiness becomes the film's only concern… presumably allowing its teen fans to project themselves into her position more readily. Therein lies its hideous power, which director Chris Weitz understands all too well. The seductiveness of her life--filled with harmless thrills masquerading as real dangers and a community of people who live and die by her smile--can be impossible to resist, and with considerably more technical polish than the first film, New Moon adds plenty of frost to the cupcake. The better to disguise the appalling subtext beneath.
 
A little more thematic complexity might have at least rendered it watchable. The elements are there to dive deep into the Jungian essence of these myths--the animal magnetism of the Indian werewolves, the monstrous appetites behind the vampires' cultured smiles, and a young girl on the cusp of womanhood tasting forbidden pleasures for the first time. But you can't take any of that seriously when the leading lady constantly looks like she's passing gas, and Weitz plays the remainder so distressingly po-faced that even the funny bits smack of faux teen gravitas.
 
Indeed, faux teen gravitas is all it has to offer, save for a brief sequence at the end which packs us off to Rome for some Anne Rice-style skullduggery (presumably setting up the next entry in the franchise). That feels as half-baked as the rest of New Moon: Halloween trappings which, like the sexuality and romance, have had the harshest edges filed off for its core audience's safety. Not that they'll notice the effort; living vicariously through Bella takes an awful lot of work. It's a recipe for success to be sure, at least in the short term. Give it another five years, however, and I don't believe even New Moon's most ardent fans will be able to stand the sight of it.
 
 

 

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

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ponyboy76 11/19/2009 4:40:00 PM

I don't know. I haven't seen it and probably won't at the movies, but I don't think you get it. From everything I have read, one of the reasons why teens, especially girls love these books are because Meyer depicts teenage girls at that age so realistically its not funny. I'm younger than my sister but I know when she was Bella's age, she had a similar attitude towards herself.  I knew a lot of teenage girls that do. I mean the heroine you are looking for or expect doesn't exist in the real world. Maybe Meyers made a character too relaistic for such an imaginary world for anyone but teenage girls to relate to. It seems to go way passed the loss of love and teenage romance stuff because we can all relate to that.  I`m not defending the movie, but a D seems pretty harsh. You read like you already had a huge hate on for Bella and the Twilight movie to begin with.

jzbeeno 11/19/2009 4:50:10 PM

This may well be the  best movie of all time.

 

RT
www.ultimate-privacy.br.tc

shac2846 11/19/2009 5:07:40 PM

TAKE THAT STARLIGHTGUARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, just kidding!

But Rob has thrown down the gauntlet. When you show up you need to bring the wrath!

My fiance is dragging me to this thing tonight. I'll agree with Rob, I've read the first two books thanks to her nagging and I have given up after that. I think Bella is kind of a bitch and hard to root for. It scares me that so many young girls can relate. Maybe it's her supposed awkwardness at that age but I don't know. I think the vampire mythology Stephanie Meyers came up with is cool but the characters aren't really that appealing. And despite that I still hold to my opinion that this movie will be infinitely better than 2012.

 

cheekymonkey 11/19/2009 5:41:57 PM

I couldn't agree more about Bella.  I've read the first three books...she is the selfish-bytch you knew (or know) from high school. 

kissstation 11/19/2009 5:43:34 PM

Is this opinion based on the book and the reading for the rest of the series?  Because I didn't get any of these issues from the books and from what I have seen on the previews, it seems to flow with the book.  But to each their own, still can't wait to see it.  Thanks for the taking the time to share.  Good reading.

StarlightGuard 11/19/2009 5:55:53 PM

you let HIM review this? Why him?

it's like asking a teenaged girl to read The Odyessy

hell I could've given you an honest review -- and done it for free...I'm not afraid to pick apart things I love...but my god, robby boy's got a grudge against it....I hope a female in your presence makes you go see it another 3 times in just the next 24 hours alone :)

 

StarlightGuard 11/19/2009 5:59:30 PM

and how the hell is Bella the selfish bitch from high school? she's the most plain personality I've read about -- we're not talking Gossip Girl, Paris Hilton, or even Clueless here....

also, but not completely on the same subject, I wish these same teenaged girls who text and live and die by their cellphones were as mentally stable and level headed as Meyer is -- hell she's a  better role model for a 14 year old girl whose loyalties change with the winds and the opinions of the crowd.....I see that in my niece every weekend....

Redshirt1 11/19/2009 7:26:18 PM

I don't know if I agree with the idea that Meyer's protrays teenage girls that realistically. 

First as to the whole selfish bitch question.  Yes, she is a selfish b****.  She wants all through the third and fourth book she even admits she is being selfish.  She wants Edward, but can't give up being with Jacob.  She toys with Jacob's emotions so that she can keep him from leaving her.  She knows exactly how Jacob feels about her, but doesn't do the right thing, the thing that she knows that she ought to do, which is to dump him and let him move on.  Even after (spoiler alert) she marries Edward and is pregnant with his child Belle still keeps leaning on Jacob to keep him around.  So yes she is a selfish b****.

I've know many teenage girls.  I've even spoken to a great many teenage girls about these novels and for the most part what I've discovered is not that they identify with Belle.  It's that they are attracted to either Edward and/or Jacob.  Lets face the facts here both Jacob and Edward are ment to be atractive to girls in their own way.  Jacob is a large muscular boy.  He's immortal, super strong and fast.  Plus the shapeshifter (not werewolves)  bond with one particular person and then are absolutly devoted to making that person happy for the rest of their lives.  Who wouldn't want that.  Edward has the whole mysterious vampire thing going for him.  Vampires have been on the collective thoughts of humanity for centuries.  Every single culture in human history has a vampire type mythology.  They are seductive, immortal, powerful.

While you can't generalize about any group of people because you will find a great range of personality types.  Most of the teenage girls I've know throuout my life have been kind, and concerned about the feelings and well being of others.  Look at Belle's girlfriends.  They constantly try to reach out and help her, but Belle keeps rejecting them.  While Belle on the other hand uses the people around her to get what she wants.  As an example she flirted with Jacob and used his feelings toward her in the very first book to get the answers she wanted about Edward.  Belle is a weak-willed adnd selfish individual and is not a person to aspire to.  Nor for the large part do I trully belive that girls do.  As metioned above I believe that the interest in this book stems from the attraction for both Jacob and Edward. 

Just for the record what counts as excessive profanity on this site.  I tried to post this and got a message that I was using excessive profanity.  I used the B word twice and it won't let me post it, but many of you get by with using it once.  What's up with that.  

Tonebone 11/19/2009 7:56:10 PM

I wish they allow someone who doesn't blatantly have a distaste for the things he reviews to review this stuff. I am not a Twilight fan. But my girlfriend and her little sister is and none of what this review says jives with what they try to tell me.

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