The Amazing-Spider Girl
© Marvel
News and Notes Before the Storm
By: Kurt AmackerDate: Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Greetings, Maniacs, and welcome to another exciting journey into the darkest reaches of Comicscape. I, your stalwart and steady captain, will take us careening into one of the greatest mysteries to plague the comic industry as we ask, “Whatever happened to baby May?” You know of the precious child to which I refer – the baby that the innocent Mary Jane Watson-Parker delivered during the much maligned Clone Saga in the pages of one of our most beloved pictorial chapbooks, Amazing Spider-Man. I name the very child that the wicked Alison Mongraine kidnapped on behalf of Norman Osborne, the nefarious Green Goblin – that very infant Marvel claims arrived stillborn, yet has never confirmed either textually or pictorially. I point to that same precious babe that the formidable Tom DeFalco, by his own admission, planned to return to the pages of Amazing Spider-Man during his final story. Instead, the noble DeFalco found his plans thwarted by the sinister House of Ideas, who replaced him with Howard Mackie and John Byrne. And, in collusion with the mighty House, those rogues returned not the infant May, but Aunt May! The old, gray woman must be 150 by now! I require an army of my bravest readers to venture on a hero’s quest with me for the Cosmic Cube – to ride under my banner, the noble House of K, so that we may correct this grievous debacle posthaste! Rally to my call, men, for continuity and the virtue of many a’ maiden lie at stake! Follow me now to the very gates of Hell even, should the infant May require it! Yah!
The above is a joke. I hope you laughed. I will, under no circumstances, further explore the question of the infant May Parker or her relation to Mayday Parker from Amazing Spider-Girl in this week’s Comicscape. I really just felt like tearing open an old wound and writing in a pseudo-medieval tone appropriate for one of those swords-and-sorcery paperbacks with the Conan-clone on the cover defending the hot chick in the metal bikini. In reality, San Diego Comic Con lands with a thud this week, with four-day passes and Saturday single-tickets already sold out. Unfortunately, I will not attend Comic Con this year because I can’t afford it. I won’t concoct a high-minded argument against the event to repeat later while wearing a smoking jacket and sipping a brandy over a volume of Edgar Allan Poe. I simply don’t care to tap my savings for a trip to San Diego. I agree that the event has become so large as to preclude easy access to many of the major panels. I also agree that the focus has shifted too far from comics over to movies, video games, television, toys, and other spin-offs and consumables fans enjoy. But, I attended a couple of years ago and I enjoyed myself. I think the event has evolved into a pop culture convention, but I refuse to summon the energy to shun it. Comics still enjoy plenty of exposure at the event, and it serves as a kind of centerpiece for the coming year. The major publishers announce some of their upcoming projects, cryptically hint at others, and provide fodder for future entries of Comicscape. To generate a bit of anticipation, a few publishers have already announced some stuff worth noting.
The first thing that really caught my attention comes as nothing more than a tidbit from Comic Book Resources columnist Rich Johnston, who writes a rumor and gossip piece called Lying in the Gutters. I only label it as such because Rich often doles out information in advance of official announcements and not because he fabricates stories. He rates his individual items on likelihood and often hits the mark. Regardless, Johnston stated that Image will announce a collaboration between Todd McFarlane and Robert Kirkman at this year’s Comic Con. You may recall that last year, Kirkman asked McFarlane to cooperate on a comic book with him in the middle of the panel for Todd McFarlane Productions, the latter’s multimedia company. Effectively, Kirkman challenged McFarlane to draw comics again instead of pushing action figures and making music videos for awful bands like Korn and Disturbed (all right, I added that last part). I hadn’t heard a thing about this until Johnston ran it, but the day before, Image publisher Erik Larsen mentioned an upcoming “ongoing series pairing two of the industry's biggest names!" that he will announce at Comic Con. Do with that what you will. Frankly, I liked McFarlane’s art far more than his writing. I’ll concede that I haven’t read a Spawn comic in years, so he might’ve improved both during his run and since then. But presumably, Kirkman will write the series since, by his own admission, he can only draw layouts. If that’s the case, consider me more than a bit interested.
Rich Johnston also mentioned that DC may announce a few name artists for its flagging Countdown at Comic Con. Again, consider it a rumor, but I hope Johnston nailed this one. Countdown has not met the sales DC anticipated after the success of 52, both of them weekly series. But, frankly, 52 had already succeeded at this point where Countdown has fallen short. It gave readers the impression of an epic story in the making that, in the process, reinvigorated several B-list characters. Granted, 52 ended with something of a mess, but it worked surprisingly well overall. It also had one epic story to tell – that of the missing year of the DC Universe. Countdown purports to form the spine of the DC Universe that will reflect its events as they happen. I admire the vision behind such an endeavor, but it makes for a larger undertaking than 52. Granted, the series counts down to Final Crisis, but its approach needs retooling. As it stands now, it reads like a series of separate stories mixed in a blender. I have no doubt that the threads will ultimately converge, but the series feel like a digest version of the DC Universe – look, here’s Bart Allen’s funeral, there’s Amazons Attack!, and so forth. It should feel like several threads slowly converging to form a rope, but it reads more like highlights for other series. I respect Paul Dini as a writer and I’ve no doubt he can turn it around, but Countdown needs character driven stories with more coherence if DC wants sales to increase. Or, readers could have just grown tired of one crossover event after another and finally decided to speak with their wallets.
Dark Horse and Editor Scott Allie announced that Conan will end with issue #50, only to return in May of 2008 with Conan the Cimmerian #1. I really like Conan – both the character and this particular series. However, I cannot see the point of rebooting the series, outside of a quick boost in sales from those readers scared to pick up a series already on its 42nd issue. Tim Truman writes the series very well, and I believe he will continue to with the new series. But, unless the new series marks a significant new creative direction – like Garth Ennis’s two very different Punisher series – it strikes me as a way to quickly and temporarily boost sales. But, in the end, it matters very little. The writer and the character won’t change with the numbering, nor will the series’s mandate to artfully interweave the original Robert E. Howard stories with new ones in a biographical epic that will, I hope, see Conan through to the end.
In a very safe Marvel movies rumor that preceded the Comic Con hype, Latino Review stated that actor Ray Stevenson will likely play Frank Castle in the next Punisher film. Stevenson plays Titus Pullo in HBO’s Rome. I’ve yet to see the series, but I’ve heard good things about it. Tom Jane, who played Castle in the first film, declined to participate in the sequel, citing differences of opinion about the script. In fact, over at Fanboy Radio, he recently said he wanted the sequel to feel more like Taxi Driver. He didn’t illuminate what the studio wants the sequel to feel like, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’ll feel like. Still, it’s a Punisher movie, so I’m sure there’s a law somewhere that says I have to see it.
That’s it for this week, guys. Next week, I’ll hit on a few highlights from Comic Con. If anyone attends, feel free to send me your thoughts at comicscape@mania.com or kurtamacker@yahoo.com and I’ll run your letters. Eyewitness accounts are always good.
The Spinner Rack
By Ben Johnson and Kurt Amacker
Ben: For any of you guys who happen to be in Petersburg, Alaska “Alaska’s Little Norway” this weekend me and my friends the Lutefisk posse are going to be spinning some death-polka and hard core accordion at Sven’s Grog Shack Friday and Saturday night from 8pm until closing at 9pm. See you there.
Kurt: I’m not sure if you’re making fun of me and I should be pissed or if you’ve really just gone off the deep end.
DARK HORSE COMICS
Berserk Vol 18 TP (MR) $13.95
BTVS #5 1 In 12 Paul Lee Var Cvr $2.99
Buffy The Vampire Slayer #5 $2.99
Fear Agent Last Goodbye #2 $2.99
Ben: Shouldn’t this have ended after the first last goodbye?
Grendel Behold The Devil #0 $0.50
Ben: Grendel is back! For .50 everyone better be picking this one up.
Hellboy Darkness Calls #4 (Of 6) $2.99
Speak O/T Devil #1 (Of 6) $3.50
Ben: Kurt and his gothy DJ crew are all over this.
Kurt: I hope you aren’t insinuating that we’re all Satanists. The things we worship are far older and far more terrible than Old Scratch.
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic #18 $2.99
Translucent Vol 1 TP $9.95
Ben: That’s going to be a bitch to read.
Kurt: Just keep the backing board handy to hold behind it.
Usagi Yojimbo #104 $2.99
Usagi Yojimbo Vol 21 Mother Of Mountains Ltd Ed HC $59.95
DC COMICS
52 Vol 2 TP $19.99
Alan Moore Wild Worlds TP $24.99
Kurt: This is a collection of different issues Moore worked on during his time at Wildstorm. His WildC.A.T.S omnibus will be out in a couple of weeks.
All Star Batman And Robin The Boy Wonder #6 (Res) $2.99
Ben: The best comic ever just keeps getting better!!!
Kurt: Now you can read it more than twice a year – if that’s what you really want.
All Star Batman And Robin Var Edition #6 (Res) $2.99
Ben: I’ll buy three of these just to show my support for Frank Miller.
Kurt:Thanks, that means I don’t have to buy one.
American Virgin Vol 2 Going Down TP (MR) $14.99
Batman #666 $2.99
Ben: The end is nigh.
Bruce Dickinson:
The night was black was no use holding back
‘cause I just had to see was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real or just some kind of hell?
666 the Number of the Beast!
Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Blue Beetle #17 $2.99
Cartoon Network Block Party #35 $2.25
Countdown 40 $2.99
Ben: Wake me up when something happens.
Kurt: Dude, Bruce Dickinson was just here. Didn’t you hear him singing?
Crossing Midnight #9 (MR) $2.99
Deathblow #6 $2.99
Kurt: Every time I read this name, I think of Al Brown.
Gon Vol 1 $5.99
Kurt: It’s a manga about a dinosaur. I think that says it all.
Green Arrow Year One #2 (Of 6) $2.99
Green Lantern Corps #14 $2.99
Ben: I’ve never been a big GL fan, but this Sinestro Corp is pretty good reading.
Hawkgirl #66 $2.99
Kurt: Jesus, what’s with all the sixes this week?
Hellblazer #234 (MR) $2.99
JSA Classified #28 $2.99
Mad Kids #8 $4.99
Ben: Rabies are fun!
Martian Manhunter The Others Among Us TP $19.99
Ninja Scroll #11 $2.99
Penguin Revolution Vol 4 $9.99
Showcase Presents Martian Manhunter Vol 1 TP $16.99
Supergirl And The Legion Of Super Heroes #32 $2.99
Superman #665 (CD) $2.99
Ben: Almost satanic!
Kurt: What did I tell you?
Teen Titans #49 (AA) $2.99
Robin: Hello, my name is Robin and I used this joke last month.
Kurt: At least Ben didn’t copy and paste last month’s books.
Teen Titans Go #45 $2.25
Ben: To the kitchen and make me a sammich.
Kurt: And I would like a beer.
Testament #19 (MR) $2.99
Wetworks #11 $2.99
Wonder Woman #11 (AA) $2.99
Wonder Woman: Is Robin following me?
Kurt: No, but Frank Miller is staring at your ass.
IMAGE COMICS
24 Seven Vol 2 GN $19.99
America Jr Vol 1 TP $9.99
Ben: Oh, how cute. I love it when he takes all the poor kid’s toys and shoots them with slingshots for being upset about it. Next we’ll have him burn down the neighbor’s house and act surprised when they aren’t grateful for the tent he gives them as a replacement.
Kurt: Oh, how bold of you. I bet that Bush is just crying himself to sleep.
Battle Pope Vol 4 TP Wrath Of God (MR) $9.99
Bomb Queen Vol 2 TP Queen Of Hearts (MR) $14.99
Ben: I hate this book.
Chemist $3.50
Dust #1 (Of 2) (MR) $3.99
Ben: People are really running out of things to write about.
Elephantmen #10 $2.99
Elephantman: We are not a comic boooooook!!
Hiding In Time #1 (Of 4) $3.50
Kurt: I tried this once, but my wife still found me under the futon. I explained that I was actually hiding fifteen minutes ago and she was seeing my future self, but she didn’t buy it.
Invincible #44 $2.99
Madame Mirage New Ptg #1 $2.99
Ben: The best use of boobs, I mean paper, I’ve seen in a long time.
Ride Die Valkyrie #2 (Of 3) $2.99
Top Cow / Marvel Unholy Union $3.99
Kurt: I’ll say.
Walking Dead #39 (MR) $2.99
Robert Kirkman: Something is going to happen this issue, I swear! We might even get all the way through the first half of a single fist fight.
Kurt: The problem is that Ben can’t read. Without pretty pictures of cleavage and things blowing up, he doesn’t know what to do.
Witchblade #109 $2.99
Kurt: And this book probably has both cleavage and things blowing up!
MARVEL COMICS
All New Off HB Marvel Universe A To Z Update #3 $3.99
Amazing Spider-Man #542 $2.99
Ben: Back-In-Black comes to an end as Spider-Man wimps out and doesn’t kill Kingpin.
Kurt: When is someone finally going to kill that fat son of a b-tch and stop explaining it away with stuff like “We’re two sides of the same coin. Killing him would be like killing part of myself.” Or, how about, “The Kingpin’s bad, but what would fill the void would be much worse.” Someone please buy a gun, file off the serial number, shoot him until the magazine’s empty, and then shove him piece by piece into a wood-chipper aimed over a tank of sharks. Read Daredevil starting with Kevin Smith’s relaunch. That fatass has been shot and survived more times than I can count at this point.
Annihilation Conquest Star Lord #1 (Of 4) $2.99
Ben: This Annihilation series is setting up to better than the first.
Black Panther #29 CWI $2.99
Cable Deadpool #43 $2.99
Essential Spider-Woman Vol 2 TP $16.99
Fantastic Five #2 (Of 5) $2.99
Ben: Vs. the Jackson Five.
Kurt: This sounds like something that would be on the old Fantastic Four cartoon from 1967.
Ghost Rider 2nd Ptg Saltares Var #12 WWH $2.99
Heroes For Hire #12 WWH $2.99
Heroes For Hire 2nd Ptg Var #11 WWH $2.99
Immortal Iron Fist #7 $2.99
Ben: I love it when Marvel gives me good Ed.
Kurt: I’m reporting you to your church.
Immortal Iron Fist Vol 1 Last Iron Fist Story Prem HC $19.99
Incredible Hulk #108 WWH $2.99
Ben: The thinking man’s side of WWH.
Incredible Hulk 2nd Ptg Frank Var #107 WWH $2.99
Incredible Hulk 3rd Ptg Var #106 WWH $2.99
Iron Man #20 WWH $2.99
Ben: I love watching Stark get his futurist ass kicked.
Kurt: I wonder if he saw that coming.
Iron Man 2nd Ptg Var #19 WWH $2.99
Magician Apprentice #9 (Of 12) $2.99
Marvel Adventures Iron Man #3 $2.99
Marvel Adventures Two-In-One #1 $4.99
Marvel Masterworks Mighty Thor Vol 6 HC Var Ed $54.99
Marvel Masterworks Mighty Thor Vol 6 New Ed HC $54.99
Mighty Avengers #4 CWI $2.99
Moon Knight Vol 1 Rock Bottom TP $14.99
Onslaught Reborn #4 (Of 5) $2.99
Ben: Oh, thank God, it was only delayed. I was worried they had cancelled this most important of series. And with Leifeld bringing art I can’t miss an issue.
Kurt: It looks like I’ll be purchasing some very expensive cat litter this week.
Sensational Spider-Man #39 $2.99
Silver Surfer Requiem #3 (Of 4) $3.99
Spider-Man Fairy Tales #3 (Of 4) $2.99
Spider-Man Reign Premiere HC Black Costume Cvr $19.99
Thor Suydam Non-Zombie Var #1 $2.99
Ben: You know the zombie thing has gone overboard when solicitors have to be clear that the cover is non-zombie.
Kurt: They’re just complying with my All Zombie rule that I rushed through the House and Senate before talking the President into a quick signing.
Thor Suydam Zombie Var #1 $2.99
Ultimate Fantastic Four #44 $2.99
Ultimate X-Men Vol 7 HC $29.99
Uncanny X-Men Rise & Fall Of The Shiar HC $34.99
Kurt: This is by Ed Brubaker. I have all of the issues for this, but I haven’t read them yet. Has anyone read them?
Wolverine #55 $2.99
Kurt: All right, we finally get to learn the connection between Wolverine and Sabertooth. We know this is the case because there are two variants. Now, can we please lay it to rest? Marvel’s been teasing this since I was in grade school. I realize it can’t possibly live up to my expectations and that it’s probably just something they came up with a few months ago, but please just finish it so we can move past this part of Wolverine’s story.
Wolverine B&W Var #55 $2.99
Wolverine Land Var #55 $2.99
X-Men #201 $2.99
X-Men First Class Vol 2 #2 $2.99
Ben: The best X book since Morrison. Jim Morrison.
Kurt: I bet this one won’t die in Paris. 
Ben: Kurt and his gothy DJ crew are all over this.
Kurt: I hope you arenâ??t insinuating that weâ??re all Satanists. The things we worship are far older and far more terrible than Old Scratch.
Oh oh, watch out! We've got a Cthulhu worshipper in the house!