You know it's time to a) go to bed early or b) buy more videos to watch when the networks begin airing what's happening at the Democratic convention. I'm sorry to say that's the big news shaking the trees this week on the boob tube.
If you're a fan of CSI, the good news is that both Jorja Fox and George Eads will definitely be back on the show next season. It seems that this whole CBS termination thing was just a "misunderstanding" between the network and the actors, and neither were asking for a raise. Of course it wasn't guys, just like when EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND actor Brad Garrett threatened to walk off the show last season unless his paycheck got bigger real quick. Now that Fox and Eads know where they stand in the tough world of showbiz, things will be back to normal next week when the new season of CSI starts filming.
So let's find out what's happening across the zone this week, shall we?
MONDAY, JULY 26
FEAR FACTOR (8 PM, NBC) It's couples Fear Factor once again. You see, earlier this season the show had nine couples all in their 20s with incredible bodies (no coincidence, right?) compete for a million dollars. They spread out the action across seven episodes, and tonight's broadcast repeats one of 'em. (Repeat)
CSI: MIAMI (10 PM, CBS) "The Best Defense." Calleigh's father comes to ask her from the Crime Scene Investigation team who stole his lunch from the fridge at work? Shocking secrets exposed! (Repeat)
THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG KILBORN (12:30 PM, CBS) Actor Ben Kingsley comes on to plug his new movie THUNDERBIRDS. Craig will make him answer five questions, one of which being something to do with GHANDI.
TUESDAY, JULY 27
DAYS OF OUR LIVES (Daytime, NBC stations) What the heck is a soap opera doing here in the beloved Wasteland?! Because it's completely insane. For months the show's writers made a big deal out of a serial killer offing a bunch of longtime regular characters from the show. Then it was revealed that Marlena was the killer, but she didn't remember committing any of the crimes. Then she died. Then she woke up on an island where everyone that she had killed was alive and well. Then they found out that they were trapped on the island behind some kind of force field that should only exist on STAR TREK. And why do all the guys on this show always have deep discussions with their girlfriends with their shirts off? You just can't beat this kind of wackiness unless you go back and read comic books from the early 1970s.
NIP/TUCK (10 PM, FX) X-MEN star Famke Janssen stars on this week's NIP/TUCK, not for any surgery but because she's seeing Matt, the son of Dr. McNamara. Where do we sign up for this?
WEDNESDAY, JULY 28
NEXT ACTION STAR (8 PM, NBC) Tonight's the final episode of the season and we learn which male and female contestant will go on to become the next action star...in a DMX movie or something.
SMALLVILLE (8PM, WB) First episode: "Perry" introduces Clark's future editor as a drunken tabloid reporter searching for news about aliens in Smallville...or is he really an agent from Area 51 that walked off the set of THE X-FILES? (Repeat)
AMISH IN THE CITY (8 PM, UPN) This is the story of what happens when you take five Amish young adults and have them live with six regular American kids in Los Angeles...and things get real (as in "reality" real.) Will the Amish kids decide that city life is for them and not go back to their land of barn raising? If Puck turns out to be one of their roomies, I bet they will.
THE SIMPLE LIFE 2: ROAD TRIP (9 PM, FOX) The girls get jobs working at a beauty salon. It's too bad they won't be paying a visit to Comic-Con and having them dress us as their favorite character from SAILOR MOON.
THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN (11:30 PM, CBS) Fanboys will want to take note that Natalie Portman is on tonight's show to promote her new movie GARDEN STATE. Will she mention about any reshoots for EPISODE III?
THURSDAY, JULY 29
TREMORS 4 and 3 (7 PM, SCI FI) Two back-to-back TREMORS movies beginning with the most recent offering (set in the 19th century) followed by the third movie. Michael Gross thanks you for your time.
THE NUTTY PROFESSOR 2: THE KLUMPS (8 PM, FOX) Sherman, Sherman, Sherman! Eddie Murphy's back playing the portly professor and his family in a sequel even nuttier than the first. No cashews were harmed during the making of this motion picture.
CSI (9 PM, CBS) "Turn of the Screws." The CSI team puts in a little overtime this week investigating the deaths of riders on a theme park's rollercoaster ride. (Repeat)
THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO (11:30 PM, NBC) Movie critics Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper are on along with Michael Moore. Three men enter Thunderdome, one man leaves.
FRIDAY, JULY 30
STARGATE SG-1 (8 PM, SCIFI) "Zero Hour." O'Neill has his first moment of doubt as a General when the SG-1 team is captured by a Goa'old system lord he knows all too well. All Jack needs is a pep talk and some time off to play hockey.
STARGATE ATLANTIS (9 PM, SCI FI) "Thirty-Eight Minutes" Major Sheppard is in a boatload of trouble when the team's puddle jumper gets caught in the event horizon of the Stargate. Don't make longterm plans, Shep.
SATURDAY, JULY 31
THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY (8 PM, NBC) At a programming meeting some NBC exec asks, "Hey, that Matt Damon fellow has a new movie out in theaters, right?" Next thing you know the network is showing a movie of his. That's how it works in TV land.
MADtv (11 PM, FOX) Cedric the Entertainer guest stars. (Repeat)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30 PM, NBC) The Reverend Al Sharpton hosts while Pink performs the music. (Repeat)
SUNDAY, AUGUST 1
THE SIMPSONS (8 PM, FOX) Milhouse moves to Capital City, leaving Bart without a best friend. Then the girls from THE SIMPLE LIFE come calling... (Repeat)
THE 4400 (9PM, USA) "Trial By Fire." Tension between the returned civilians and the government escalates, threatening to lead to a violent confrontation.
THE DEAD ZONE (10 PM, USA) "Speak Now." Johnny has to speak his mind and stop two friends of his from getting married. Dude, just do that creepy Chris Walken thing and they'll get the hint fast.
And that's it until next week. When will the Olympics save us?
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