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Read A Book, Go On It Won't Kill You

6/10/2008 5:08:29 PM permalink

As some of you may have noticed, I'm highly critical of the big tent pole movies that appear in summer.

I'm very critical of their movies, and I'm also highly critical of mine. You have to expect more, or you'll end up with less.

I've no interest in the next Hulk movie. I do remember when they were putting it together, some exec said "we want more Hulk smash!" And, to be honest, that looks like all the new movie is. The first one committed the mortal sin: it had a story. Gasp! Sin!

And then, and only then, did it delve into Hulk smash.

I couldn't help but laugh at the idiots who wanted more of the laughable action sequences and sobbed about how it took so long to get going.

And so we're in summer movie season. Don't bother trying to reason with it, you might as well tell the wall about trigonometry.

Frankly, I'm reaching for a good book. An odd thing, seeing as how I can't seem to write one yet I spend my time writing movies. I do not see this as hypocritical, although you can if you wish. I'd like to think I'm bringing "literary aspirations" to the faster, bigger, quicker Hollywood mentality.

If you too want to reach out for a good book, here's a few I've read. Feel free to mock my selections openly if you wish, or, to suggest one if you're willing.

Paradise Screwed by Carl Hiaasen.

This is a series of selected columns by a genius living in Florida. It's all good fun, on a variety of topics from religion, to life in Florida, to professional sports and the local antics of corrupt politicians.

Sophie's World (and) The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder

Two unique fantasies that have a genuine fantasy tale to tell while weaving the history of philosophy into the story. Go on, it won't kill you. Both are wonderful, and they will surprise you if you give them a chance.

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, The Restaurant At The End of The Universe,
Life, The Universe, And Everything, So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish, and Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams

The famous Hitchhiker Trilogy. I should say the famous, increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Trilogy. Throw the movie in the trash and read the books. Then go dig the movie out of the trash and watch it again.

The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking The Galaxy One Last Time by Douglas Adams

Posthumous collection of Adams' various lectures, interviews, and such. This brings out Adams' intellectual side, and you can truly appreciate what a brilliant mind we had behind a bunch of silly hitchhikers.

Discworld by Terry Pratchett

No book in the series is called Discworld, and there's over 30 of them. Maybe closer to 40. I love the "Witches of Lancre" series, and those books are as follows (and in correct order I might add.)

Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, Maskerade, Carpe Jugulum.

There are numerous topics that are covered here. Wyrd Sisters resembles Shakespeare, Witches Abroad tears apart fairy tales, more Shakespeare in Lords and Ladies, Phantom of the Opera in Maskerade, and finally religion and vampires get it in Carpe Jugulum. You'd really just have to look it up to get a better sense of the entire Discworld series.

Good Omens by Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

The end of the world is coming, but one angel and one demon really wish it wouldn't. Can they keep the apocalypse from bringing it all to an end?

A Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett

Take a trip to Cayo Loco as Buffett spins a dreamy sun soaked tale about restoring a lighthouse, and all the adventures that go along with it.

The Discovery of the Grail by Andrew Sinclair

This is NOT a novel. It IS a book of history tracing the sources of the Holy Grail. If you couldn't stay awake in a history class or while watching the History Channel you may as well pass this up. It is one of my sources for a project I'm still trying to finish, and research is the name of this game.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

Research was the name of this game too. Maybe too much towards the latter third, but this is still a good book about the history of Vlad the Impaler and such. Imagine "DaVinci Code" only thicker, more thought out, much more history, and such. Take your time reading this one because you will need the time to absorb all that's going on here. Trust me, I should know.

I'm still hoping to find the next great novel. I thought I'd found it in Labyrinth by Kate Mosse, and it may still be, I just haven't had the opportunity to sit down and read my copy. Shame too, seeing as I've had it for a year now.

I still want to know when Dan Brown's next book will be out. No one seems to be able to tell me that, and I have checked.

Some of you may ask why I'm recommending books. It stems from my niece and nephew.

I constantly hear "when's the next Harry Potter movie coming out? What's it about? What happens in it?"

They ask me cause I've read the book. I tell them "it won't be out for X months\years, and if you want to know, go read the damned book."

Then I get that look that says "book? What's a book?"

Then they ask about the next Narnia movie. Exact same questions, different answer. "What's it about? I don't know, I haven't read the chronicles yet. But I bought you the omnibus edition with all the books in it two years ago. You've got the entire series, so you can read the book and find out."

Another spaced out look. Oh lord.

So, wall, here's the thing about trigonometry...

Tags: books


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