Series: Ghost Rider

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Review: 'Ghost Rider' searches for a soul...its own

"Ghost Rider" opens today and I had a chance to see a preview last night. One always wonders a bit when there are no press screenings further in advance than the night before. Sure, they held some private press screenings for "friendly press," but who really trusts the opinions of those who like everything. When the Emperor's wearing no clothes, is it better to let them go naked.

Not that I am declaring Mark Steven Johnson any kind of Emperor, that's for sure. (I'm sure many of you remember my review of Daredevil). However, with "Ghost Rider" I don't really have anything that bad to say, probably because I didn't care. Going into the movie I didn't care that much about "Ghost Rider", but was looking forward to a badass motorcycle, driven by a flaming skull-headed biker dude. That's what I got. Unfortunately, that's all I got.

Oh wait ... "Ghost Rider" did sort of scare the crap out of me, but that's only when I had the realization that MSJ is the guy who is writing and producing Preacher for HBO. Now that had me quaking in my Chuck Taylors. Now, I don't think he's a bad director, but I do think he needs to work with a screenwriter. Visually, the man gets some great shots, but there's no real heart and soul driving those shots because the story is so weak.

The script for "Ghost Rider" is atrocious. They take an idea and stretch it out for nearly 2 hours. Once upon a time in the old west there was a "Ghost Rider" who turned his back on Mephistophales and rode off with a contract worth plenty a soul ... interlude ... introduce Johnny Blaze selling his soul to the devil, introduce the lost love of his life, introduce Bleackheart who wants the contract worth all of those souls! Well, if Blackheart is back in town, then Johnny Blaze has to be the new "Ghost Rider" and take him on, lest Blackheart become Legion and summon a new hell on earth!

And that's pretty much it! We don't see "Ghost Rider" for nearly 45 minutes, instead building the story of John Blaze, but not giving viewers enough to make them care. Lines are delivered flatly, Donal Logue, a real talent, is totally wasted. I mean, how can he be the buddy sidekick to a character that is also being built as a loner? The script just stumbles through itself. Even Eva Mendes, one of the most charming and charismatic people in person and in interviews, comes off as though she is just reading her lines. There is no soul to these characters.

And "Ghost Rider" spends his time hunting down criminals, driving on a badass motorcycle with flaming wheels that tears up everything in its path, destroying roads, blowing up cars, disintegrating helpless lizards. What a dick! It looks really cool, but seems to defeat the purpose. Although, admittedly, it was a neat thing to see the result of; I never thought about the fact that flaming wheels would melt the pavement, but MSJ made it look really cool. All of the "Ghost Rider" scenes look really cool and feel like a comic, but it ultimately fails in its storytelling. I mean, if your car is blown up by "Ghost Rider", what do you do, go to your insurance company?!? "I'm sorry sir, did you have a "Ghost Rider" Ryder on that policy?"

And while I often looked at that big screen and thought, "Wow, there's Ghost Rider on the big screen," it never felt big and epic enough. The shots are mostly medium shots, only holding the characters at hand. You never see people walking the streets or meandering around unless they have to be there. Sure, there's a big cop chase, but I guess you need a lot of cops for a cop chase. My point is that I never felt that these things could be going on somewhere the way I did with 'Batman Begins' or the 'Spider-Man' movies. This was a story that existed for itself in its own world.

But I got a really cool promo "Ghost Rider" wallet, it's real leather, amd real nice. It came with a chain that I took off of it because it's not so much my style, but it has buttons on it that I can use to close the wallet up, and there's lots of space. I give the wallet a 10 out of 10, but the movie a 6.5. I wish I was 13 because I could have been satisfied with a guy with his head on fire, but in my adult years, I want to feel something: love, hate, ANYTHING! But this movie left me eager to get home and eat a sandwich, nothing more, nothing less.