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Savage Henry Lee's super-rad ultra-hip madcastic blogging editorial bruahaha of funk!

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Talkin' Comics with Jim!

4/8/2008 1:31:40 PM permalink

So, here's a little feature I've been dreaming up for some time now... Talkin' Comics! [youtube]wUyTPkQQMMs[/youtube] Basically I'm just hauling my little blue camera around, snagging interviews with friends, acquaintances, coworkers, enemies, and other assorted rabble. My #1 draft pick for getting things started was none other than Jim, one of my personal heroes. Jim works part-time at the comic book store I work at; he mostly does stuff in the back, like moving boxes and pushing brooms. He's a real clever guy, and I thought his perspectives would be entertaining ones to share on-line. Now, a few notes on this clip... 1) There's some register noises in the background of the first clip. This was just something that happened. We'd just closed down the store, and somebody else is still doing some work while Jim & I are goofing off. 2) This first episode is a bit longer than I think I'll go for in the future. I can really see doing clips that are about 40 to 100 seconds long, featuring just one review about one comic. This is my "slightly looser, more experimental pilot episode" though, so I just went for the gusto. 3) Big thanks to Jim and to my editor M, for helping me pull this together. I've been filling my youtube account up with lots of random media experiments, and I really appreciate the support I've been getting on this process. I know some of it's a little rough around the edges, but I like to think that it all makes for a slightly more dynamic blog. Moving pictures and sound! Woo!

Just remember, when I'm not here, writing about comics, or writing my own comics, you'll probably find me... Talkin' Comics!

Tags: review, Tales Of The City Streets, Talkin' Comics!

Department of Scum Drops and Stink Blossoms.

4/7/2008 1:43:05 PM permalink

I don't think Secret Invasion is a great comic, but at least the title means something. I mean, sure, it's adult-oriented fanfic featuring kid's characters, designed solely to entertain the fanboys and exclude new readers, but at least the title makes sense. There is an Invasion, and it is a Secret. The same simple honesty however, is not present in many of Marvel's other crossover titles. [youtube]bX7V6FAoTLc[/youtube] WORLD WAR HULK. I think the most appropriate title for this crossover would've been "Fistfight in New York Hulk". It's not a war, and it's not all over the world. In WWH, I thought we were going to see the Hulk travel the world kicking the crap out of heroes in every country, as the earth put its forces together to take the big green guy down. Instead, we get fisticuffs in the big apple. That's not a war, and New York is not the world. I know it seems like that if you live there, but it's not. CIVIL WAR. So, what is a Civil War? Well, Wiki says...
"A civil war is a war in which parties within the same culture, society or nationality fight against each other for the control of political power. "Some civil wars are categorized as revolutions when major societal restructuring is a possible outcome of the conflict. An insurgency, whether successful or not, is likely to be classified as a civil war by some historians if, and only if, organized armies fight conventional battles. Other historians state the criterion for a civil war is that there must be prolonged violence between organized factions or defined regions of a country (conventionally fought or not)."
OK, so what have we got? 1 - A Civil war is a war 2 - With members fighting for political power 3 - Organized armies fighting conventional battles 4 - Prolonged violence between organized factions 5 - Defined regions of a country
I think Marvel's Civil War has one of those, which would be #4. However, there's been prolonged violence between organized factions in the Marvel Universe since WWII. X-Men VS the Brotherhood. New Warriors VS X-Force. X-Staxix VS the Avengers. The list of stupid team names goes on and on. Prolonged violence amongst organized factions. Civil War - not actually a Civil War. I guess some "civilians" show up to stop Captain America at the end, maybe that's what earns them the "Civil War" title. I'm still not sure if it counts as a "war" when a bunch of super-buddies decide to throw down on one-another. Marvel has bad luck with classifying their wars. It's like if Peter David got into a crowded elevator and accidentally shoved Robert Kirkman into Dan Slott, Marvel would call it a "10 Round Steel Cage Death Match War!" Hey, I had a world war this weekend. I sat around my apartment, doing dishes and watching cartoons on-line. That's kind of like a war, right? "WORLD WAR HANK!"
Kind of reminds me of that "Back in Black" story-line where Spider-man kept saying he'd show "no mercy" to the men responsible for shooting Aunt May, and then every time he found one of them? He showed them mercy. It really, really makes the character look like a weak, hypocritical coward, when you constantly have him saying one thing and then doing another. And if you're going to say your story has "no mercy", you'd better have your editor check it for you, to make sure you don't get any mercy in there. Because if there's even a little bit of mercy, even a tiny scrap, you can't say there's "no mercy". The FDA warns that you may get some rat feces in there too. Now DC's getting involved too, with Grant Morrison's Meta-Ironic... "FINAL CRISIS." Final Crisis? Didn't we just have a Crisis 3 years ago? And wasn't the last crisis before that in 1985? Man, and even then, go back to Wiki, and look up "DC Crisis". DC has had more Crisis than a back-alley mattress has bedbugs. I have a really, really, really hard time imagining that this is actually going to be Final time that DC puts the word "Crisis" in a title. According to the math, I think the next Crisis to follow "Final Crisis" should happen about a month after Final Crisis ends. Of course, Final Crisis will probably run late, so maybe the new Crisis will start before the Final Crisis is even over. Then we'll have a Crisis of Infinite Final Crisis's. By then, DC will be shipping out large boxes of dog shit instead of comics, and every week we'll fill our hands and mouths with those doggy-links, licking the brown off our digits and lips, saying things like, "well, it's not as good as the classic crisis, but it's still better than not reading comics at all!"
I really didn't enjoy reading Secret Invasion. It seems like it might be a fun book if you already give a damn about the Marvel Universe, and if you've been reading the books for years. However, as a stand-alone piece of fiction that I can enjoy as escapist fiction, the book fails utterly. Because it's not about anything. I'm just watching Bendis play with action figures on his bed. It's not storytelling, it's fanfic. It's great if you already know and love these characters, but if you're a part of the mass-majority of the population who doesn't start out giving a damn, this book will not make you care. I just found it all totally boring, like I'd wandered in on Bendis sitting alone in his room, playing a Marvel role-playing game by himself. I like Bendis, too. I just wish he'd stop dicking around, and actually tell a real story with a beginning, middle, and an end, all of which revolves around characters which grow and change, and a plot which connects the seemingly unrelated events into a larger narrative. ... Lisa - "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet." Bart - "Not if they were called 'Stink Blossoms'." Marge - "I wouldn't want a dozen 'Stink Blossoms' for Valentines Day. Some candy would do just fine." Homer - "Not if they were called 'Scum Drops'."

Tags: review, Stupid Hero Battles

How I turned Invisible

4/6/2008 11:00:24 PM permalink

Woo! We took a little break between bits 3 & 4, but now my favorite column about my favorite comic is back, and better than ever! I have to tell you guys, my dearest on-line friends & acquaintances, that Marvel's Secret Invasion nearly broke me. I read that comic last Wednesday, and when I was done, I was seriously starting to doubt just how interested in the medium of comics I truly was. It's not even that Secret Invasion was a bad comic - I just found it so bland and pointless, that it left me honestly uncertain as to whether or not I actually care about comics.

So, to reinvigorate and rejuvenate my love of this wonderful art form, I'm putting myself back in touch with a classic. I'm putting myself back in the midst of the exact graphic novel that kept me reading comics when I was about 22 and not really sure if they could live up to the literary expectations I was developing. I'm talking about... The Invisibles Bloody Hell in America Nice and Smooth! This one's for all the snotty kids in the back who never learned how to love! Bloody Hell in America is the 4th book in The Invisibles series, but DC published The Invisibles all out of order, so Book 4 was the 2nd graphic novel they published. Because of this, it wound up being what really introduced me to the world of The Invisibles. And boy howdy, did it.
BHiA is one of my very, very favorite comic books. It has everything in it that I love, from oral sex and masturbation, to transcendentally mental conversations on LSD, and dimensions of pain & control. But what I really, really love, is the bits where the anarchists, armed with guns and bombs as well as magical and martial arts, invade the secret underground government base in where all the genetic testing on innocent people is done. Have you ever read about the Secret Government Base in Dulce New Mexico? I hadn't heard about it until the Invisibles, so imagine my surprise when I found out how real it all is. There's dozens of pages about it on-line, and it's all totally awesome, if you're the sort of person who likes to listen to radio broadcasts about secret government labs and trans-dimensional abduction. [youtube]8WgP-hz7h9U[/youtube] This book blew my mind like Hunter S. Thompson's final phone call. It was like if the X-Files on a billion dollar budget, co-written by Philip K Dick and John Carpenter. When I read BHiA, I had a genuinely transcendental experience, wherein I discovered a storyline full of characters and imagery that I'd been looking for since I was about 12.
Rock star underpass!
OK, so at least some of that has to be that Phil Jimenez is fucking amazing. He's a top-notch talent, a forthcoming Brian Bolland or an Art Adams, or... Well, really it's just not to fair to compare artists that way. I'm just trying to say, Phil Jimenez is, in my estimation of these things, one of the very top artistic talents working comics. His anatomy, facial expressions, and backgrounds are all amongst the best I have ever seen in comics. And his art is so fucking sexy I just can't stand it. I really can't. Phil Jimenez's art is so sexy, and specifically his Invisibles art is so sexy, that I can imagine it slapping me around a cheap hotel room with a silky glove. Phil Jimenez's art would breathe heavy in my face, and I'd say, "you've been drinking again." And Phil Jimenez's art would put me on my knees. "You like that, don't you?" Phil Jimenez's art would say to me, putting a cigarette out by grinding it into my shoulder. And then, I'd... Well, anyway, what I'm trying to convey here is, the book has really good art. And the covers are good too. The covers are Brian Bolland, whose exterior images compliment Phil Jimenez's interiors quite well.
But beyond the art, I think I loved the Invisibles' BHiA because it deals with issues which are truly important to me. Anarchist terrorists infiltrating secret government labs where illegal genetic testing is aided by extra-dimensional fascist insect-machines. People talking about Tarantino movies and meta-symbolism in pop culture. Rednecks getting beat up for being ignorant trash. People rocking out to Kula Shaker and having sexy naked sex. Authority figures taking it, good and hard. Freedom fighters laughing and kicking ass. Lesbian Militia cells of modern-day guerrilla pirates. Snotty brit punks, and proud transsexuals, and King Mob!
BHiA was, and is, a very important comic to me. I love the world of the Invisibles, because if you have the right kind of eyes, and you know just where to look and when, you can see where it intersects with our world. It's not all myth & ink. Some of it's more real than real life, even more real than the unique and special friendship shared by you and I. I am in many regards what most people would call an atheist; I don't believe in god, and I don't know if there's a reason for existence. But if I do ever feel like there's a larger world out there than what we can see, a world where magic and science and love all come together to show that there is a purpose to live, the universe, and everything, I feel like some of it's reflected in the pages this book. The Invisibles, Bloody Hell in America is my kind of comic. Just to keep things interesting, I keep it filed under "Non-Fiction." "What I'm saying is, if it wasn't for bats, bugs would take over the world." "What, you mean like, replacing world leaders and occupying positions of social and economic power?" "That's not what I mean. I'mt alking about universe that's totally interdependent and holographic, and well... Bats, you know?" [youtube]BnNNVdX3RVo[/youtube]

Tags: review

Stand and Deliver - it's The Highwaymen!

4/2/2008 1:20:15 PM permalink

[youtube]VPgHbt0ODr4[/youtube] The Highwaymen. By Adam Freeman, Marc Bernardin (Authors), & Lee Garbett (Illustrator) Wow. What a great comic! Fun, exciting, unexpected... The Highwaymen is pure action movie stuff, all the way through. There's constant car chases, English guys dressed in white firing off two guns at once, and a big, tired old dude who breaks out an ax at one point just because sometimes, you really need to hear the bones break. The Highwaymen is a standalone graphic novel from Wildstorm. It's a fast-paced action-adventure roller-coaster that's fun for the whole family, so long as the whole family doesn't mind seeing a few corrupt government agents getting shot in the face and belly. This book has beautiful art. Lee Garbett reminds me of nothing so much as Frank Quitely, Frank Quitely being to the comic page in 2008 what Jimi Hendrix was to the guitar back in 1967. I remember taking one look at the first issue that I saw of the Highwaymen, and hissing under my breath, "I want to work with this guy." That's the kind of artist Lee Garbett is to me. He's the kind of artist who makes me want to make comics. With him. His characters are unique, his body language is clear and communicative, and his settings are vast, panoramic even. The dialog and the plot are well-handled as well. Great art or not, this book would not be fun if the writing wasn't, and the writing is. The characters are believable - the plot's a tiny bit less so, but it's easy to forgive such a fast-paced action sequence of a comic. And besides, it ain't like the plot's bad. It's not bad. It's great! It's not perfect, but it's better than most. In Japan, this comic would be an instant hit. A straight-forward action romp with lovable but slightly twisted characters, and a bit of some crazy science-fiction right around the edges. Over here in North America, a few less people are willing to take a chance on a book without time-honored characters in tights punching out buildings with fists like clenched supernova stars, but whatever. Their loss. The Highwaymen has one hot girl in it, who doesn't even show off her body that much, and the 2 main action stars are a couple of old men. It's like a Warren Ellis comic, except the characters aren't really irritating. Really, this book reminds me of the kind of story Ellis and Garth Ennis were telling 10 years ago, back before they decided that mediocre pop books was where the real money was at. The Highwaymen, on the other hand, manages to be an archetypal action story, yet with very few of the tiresome clich

Tags: review

Dear Grant Morrison. I have been good all year, and for Christmas, I would like a new comic series.

4/1/2008 12:38:46 PM permalink

Image from Amazon
I was having this conversation with my man Samson Hammer the other day, and he split on me when I still had a bunch to say. So now I'm gonna share it with the rest of y'all. We were talking about All Star Superman, and how it's a great comic. I think it's one of the best on-going comics to have come out in the past few years, and I think they're some of the very best Superman stories I've ever read. That said, I really wish Morrison and Quietly were doing something else. The only reason I'm reading All Star Superman is because of the writing. If it was still drawn by Frank Quitely but written by Jeph Loeb or Jeff Johns, I'd flip through it & put it back on the shelf. But the fact that it's written by the man behind the Invisibles and Doom Patrol is what draws the cash from my pocket. Grant Morrison gets my money. It's a beautiful series, and without a doubt, the Superman story I've wanted to read since I was 10 years old, but I'm getting kind of sick of it. Let me throw you this little example to show what I'm talking about... [youtube]kOBDEhxd_WU[/youtube]
I dig RUN-DMC, right? And this one time, I saw them on the show, Reading Rainbow. And I thought that was awesome. A great hard-core hip hop trio subverting their own lyrics to sing about reading books to little kids? That's fucking awesome. I could almost take a whole album like that. But what if RUN-DMC never stopped doing that Reading Rainbow appearance. What if they just did positive stuff about teaching kids to read for the rest of their careers? Well, while I image there's lot of alternate universes where anything can and does happen, I think that would most likely, totally suck. I'm pleased when I see artists I like reaching out to the younger folks by doing some less edgy material. I like seeing top notch novelists putting out a children's book every now and again. But I hate losing artists to the lite-rock side.
Image from Amazon
All Star Superman is like that for me. It's a great comic, but any comic that Morrison & Quietly would get that reaction from me. I think these guys are a blast of a collaboration. However. Grant Morrison is (was?) one of best tellers of semi-sophisticated adult science fiction, and I think it's a shame that the only things he writes now are kid & fanboy oriented superhero comics. Sure, I thought his run on JLA was great, but was it better than Kill Your Boyfriend? No. No it was not. It sold better, but if all Morrison is interested in was sales numbers, he'd be trying to get work on something truly popular, like an american soap opera like "Another World," instead of cult/fetish entertainment like superhero comics.
I'm just saying, Morrison seems to write comics because he loves them, not because he desperately needs the money. So why the hell is he just doing these feel-good lite-hearted superhero romps? This is the man who wrote playfully transgendered orgies as major plot points. This is the guy who showed up in an issue of Animal Man to explain how superhero comics work, and tell a little story about his cat. Grant Morrison, he who is everywhere and in all things - I beseech thee - Heed my words and write something original and new and of substance. I know the superhero books pay well, but you won my heart as an independent creator of adult fiction. Enough with the All Star Shite! Enough with the Batman and the JLA and all new 1940's characters! I'm grown-up now, even more so than when I was 21 and reading The Invisibles, and I need a new fantasy world to be transported to!
Image from Amazon
Is this what Philip K Dick would be doing if he was around today? Re-imaging Jason and Freddy for the movie studios? No, damn it! The world is really short on intelligent adult science fiction writers. Superhero comic writers we got enough of to clog an army of toilets! But we're short on good sci-fi writers! Come back from the lite and fluffy pop-rocks, and come back down to earth, to wallow in The Filth! I need you to do it. Because I'm sick of all these old ideas that just don't work for me anymore. I think we need some new ideas to show us the way out of the comics of yesterday, and into the fiction of tomorrow.
Please. Please, Mr. Morrison. Write something good. Write something fucking amazing. Write something I can't imagine, something that's a sequel to nothing. Something which can never be followed or imitated. Something that will enlighten and uplift a tired old cynical bastard like myself. Something I can share with my girlfriend. Something I can sell to the generation of jaded emo kids who haunt the Johnen Vasquez section of the comic store like shadows of rusted razor-blades. Or at the very least, something that I've never seen before.
... ... ... And that, Mr. Samson Hammer, my esteemed coworker, is my taking the long way around the barn, to explain just some of my feelings about Morrison & why I'm not fully digging All Star Superman. Nice an' Smooth! [youtube]CBCq-Z08OEs[/youtube] Aw man, an edited version of the song? Some things just aren't improved by being made more accessible to more people.

Tags: Tales Of The City Streets, Would you like a piece of pie?

Turtle Power! (Don't Toy With Me!)

3/31/2008 12:37:04 PM permalink

I have a real love/hate thing with toys. I love them and I hate them. Everybody's got the toys they love, especially us comic-reading dudes. Some people suggest that this is because we have an inability to face the future and adulthood, and as such, we cling to the playthings of our youth, like magical icons that might transport us back to the days before we were sexually aware grown-ups without any real friends. "I don't want to grow up," we cry out, and our hands go up over our ears and the world is temporarily shut out for another few moments... Wait, wait, wait. I'm getting off on the wrong foot here. Let me start over. Everybody's got the toys they love, especially us comic-reading dudes. For some guys it's GI Joes, for others it's Transformers. I grew up with both of those, but I also outgrew them both at the same time, around about when I turned 10. I never enjoyed the movies or the cartoons for the Joes or Transformers, nor the comics. They just didn't do it for me, and my lack of interest in those shows and comics were part of what led me to losing interest in the toys themselves. What I got into, in a real big way, was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When I was 10 and losing interest in all those other franchises, I was also getting into the original black and white TMNT comics, the ones full of blood and dead ninjas and expletives like "damn!" I wasn't as entertained by the cartoon series or the Archie comics versions of the TMNT, but you know what I did love? The toys. The toys for the Ninja Turtles were awesome. To this day, they look way better, and are way more possible and playable, than a majority of the toys I see on the shelf. There's something else that's really awesome about the Ninja Turtle toys that I just got to thinking about today. I'm not a big fan of similar things. I complain that too many comics look exactly the same - some muscular guy uses powers to beat up a slightly different looking muscular guy with a mustache. Same with a lot of toys. A line of toys that's all similar-looking robots; Robot that looks like a jet, robot that look like a car. Or army guys, where you get a guy with a gun, and he fights a different guy with a gun. But the Ninja Turtle action figures were super visually dynamic, past the point of weirdness and on into grossness and lunacy. Most of them were based on splicing humans and animals together, but they went all over the place with the designs. Reptiles, mammals, insects... And then dinosaurs, robots, muck monsters, and a ton of weird aliens. Talking brains. See-through bodies with strange organs. Rock Monsters. A whole line of the weirdest stuff you'd ever see, all bodies that were different sizes and shapes. Every figure was a new mold - there were no characters who were just the same dude with a different paint job. The toys were taller than most action figures, better detailed than most, and were pretty damn durable. They had enough moving parts to be fun, but not so many that they couldn't hold a pose when you wanted to leave them set-up. The bodies were usually covered in clever little modeling elements, many of which were individually, and no doubt painstakingly, painted. I can only imagine what kind of a rewarding job painting those toys was, but as a kid, I was just blown away by the attention to detail! Everybody feels this way about the toys of their childhood, but... Pound for pound, I think the Ninja Turtle action figure line is one of the best constructed and most creative of all the toy lines out there. The one big fault I'll give the line is that there's way too many variants on the Turtles themselves. Some of them are pretty clever, but a lot of them suck. The supporting characters though, especially the bad-guys, are some of the craziest, most awesome looking action figures I've ever seen, to this day. At least when judged in terms of creativity and playability, it is the best line of action figures I have known. Way better than that Todd McWhatshisname crap that breaks as soon as you try to take it out of its package. There's a new set of Turtles coming out, based on the original designs. I was thinking about buying one, but then I found out that they're being sold in boxes of the 4, so... I ordered a box. What can you do, huh? Now I don't even know if that's true, but I'm still glad I was pressured into getting all the brothers together. Who wants to be responsible for splitting those boys up? Anyway, I think I still have some Turtle toys in a chest under my mom's place. I really want to call her, and ask her to go down there after the snow melts, find me some of those old toys, and mail 'em down to me. Because back when I was 10, I thought those toys were pretty cool. And now? 19 years later? I think those toys are pretty damn cool.

I can't wait for the new ones to get here! [youtube]VFsTr0kGAqU[/youtube] Props go out to the awesome, where I found all these great images! The new toys are being made by neca!

Tags: review, Tales Of The City Streets

Hulk... intrigued?

3/30/2008 9:05:19 PM permalink

I will buy this game when it comes out. [youtube]frB7B7BAgec[/youtube] I mean, I dunno, I think I will. Depends how much it costs. I still need to get the new Katamari... Plus, I'm really skeptical about video games based on movies. Usually, they suck. Sometimes they're Spider-man 2, but usually, they suck. I dunno. I've been playing the Ninja Turtle game, based on the recent movie, and it's not bad. Only cost me 7 bucks, so it's living up to that ticket price... Pretty repetitive, and that's what I worry about with Hulk. Still, it seems like these new generation game consoles can make any game look pretty amazing. Hulk looks good... Seems like an easy one to get right. If I might nick-pick? Man-0-Man do I ever get tired of adaptations of Hulk where he just roars. He talks damn it! He says words! Christ. If this were the goddamn Ultimate Hulk the X button would make him burp "goatshite!" and eat a baby. And hey, is it just me, or are they using the Vinnie Jones Juggernaut? Man, I'd love a video game where I could go up against Vinnie Jones. That guy's a real bad mother- shut your mouth! I'm just talking about Vinnie Jones... Then we can dig it!

Tags: Video Gamery News & Reviews, Stupid Hero Battles

Soak in the luminescent, warming brilliance of my deliciously lukewarm brain juice! Bring crackers for dipping!

3/30/2008 1:57:34 PM permalink

I have some pitches and some suspicions. You play the role of Hollywood, and I'll play the impressionable young woman with the improbably large breasts, an oral fixation, and the dream of writing Red Tornado comics. All profits from this post will go towards the Jonestown Memorial Conspiracy Theorist Center. [youtube]Hape0qkHaxg[/youtube] First off, here's something I suspect.

Image from Amazon
I suspect that Tom Cruise is a total Hal Jordan rip-off. Playing jet pilot, having similar hair and facial features... Now Tom Cruse is seeing it through by using Scientology as a Parallax substitute. It's got inside his brain, and now he's turning evil and crazy! Plus, have you EVER seen Tom Cruise wearing yellow? Nope, you haven't. Because he's a rip-off of Hal Jordan. Interestingly, I think he's also vulnerable to wood, but this could only be proven if some star-struck fan could be convinced to take a swing at Tom with a solid oak baseball bat. Let me know how that works out. OK, see, but...
Image from Amazon
I have a character I'd love to do, where a military pilot, volunteers for a secret military medical procedure where they bond an alien energy device to his body. The device leaks out a strange cosmic energy throughout his body, making his arms unbreakable, healing his every wound, and giving him big glowing green claws that shoot out from the back of hand. And from then on, he'd be Hal Logan no longer. He'd be... The Wolvergreen Lantern! What? Fine. Let me get back to you on that one. BUT, check out this -
Image from Amazon
An on-going series about a famed movie director who flies around the universe using paranormal powers, kicking everybody's ass? Why I must be talking about...
John Carpenter Warlock of Space!
Could be cool, yeah? In every episode John Carpenter would go to another planet and/or alien ship, and magically kick the shit out of everybody there. It'd be awesome. Huh? What? Oh. You know who Mark Millar and Grant Morrison remind me of? Marlyn Manson and Trent Reznor. Morrison is Reznor, a somewhat talented guy who has trouble getting regular material out. Morrison also brought Millar into the industry, just like Reznor signed Manson to his label. And Manson? He's an over-hyped teeny bopper shallow shock rocker who spends all his time on clever marketing for his projects to hide the fact that all his songs sound the same. Just like some other guy I know. OK. I gotta go. I'm meeting some people I met online to talk about how totally fake the moon landing looks. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure it really happened. I just think the footage we were shown was partially faked. Personally, I believe that bit about how they cut out the big mountainous cities in the background, but my buddy Steve

Tags: Tales Of The City Streets, Little Fishies Swim Going swish-swish-swish!

Who Pays For The Revolution?

3/30/2008 11:00:11 AM permalink

Point? Counter-Point! Reading the Xenos' blog today sort of pissed me off. Not because of what he had to say, but just because of the people he was talking about. He was a lot nicer than I'm going to be. He mentioned that he didn't want to seem like he supported these people. Well neither do I. I would rather be considered an enemy of these people. Now, what I'm writing probably has very little to do with the issues that the Xenos raised. But I read his article, and it reminded me how angry the topic makes me, so I'm taking it on here. No disrespect to the Xenos, I just felt like my aggressively intolerant point of view needed to be fully represented. [youtube]4nRmdm_NiFw[/youtube]

Do these spoiled middle-class assholes hiding behind cheap V for Vendetta masks have anything to do with real protesting and social effort? I would say not. I would say if these ignorant rich-kid protesters really gave a damn about the "beliefs" of Codename: V, they'd be emptying their wallets into the gutter and socially assisting poor people, instead of looking for simple-minded cults to harass. Gee, did Codename V protest religions? I thought he slit the throats of the government workers who approved the mass genocide of impoverished citizens. I guess it's the same thing, right? I get plenty of middle-class rich kids asking me if I sell V for Vendetta masks. Not Guy Fawkes masks, like Codename V wore. They don't care. I show these people copies of the book, and they just say, "I'm not really interested in books." They want action figures and masks. Talking action figures that can deliver the rhetoric for them, and masks to hide behind.
Hey, you know what really says "V for Vendetta"? Sweatshop labor pumping out overpriced novelty action figures shaped like social terrorists. Wonder how many cents an hours those stupid Asian laborers are getting paid to paint our anarchist action figures? Where are the followers of V for Vendetta when real work needs being done? Do these spoiled assholes show up the next day to help pick the trash off the street? Do they come around my part of town to help homeless hookers get meals? That'd be keeping in the spirit of V for Vendetta - taking teenager hookers off the street and teaching them new skills so they could get better jobs where they wouldn't be regularly abused. No, I guess the best and most meaningful thing you can do with your life, is protest a religion that South Park got tired of making fun of 4 years ago.
And by the way, it doesn't matter if Tom Cruise is a member of it; a cult is a cult, and the world is full of them. Scientology might be stupid, but at least they're not having sex with children. It's just a religion. From my perspective, the people wearing the V for Vendetta masks are no morally better. They're just dumb kids doing something they saw in a movie. I'd rather support the Scientologists than those silk-stocking media darlings with their store-bought terrorist masks. By the way, why would anybody even use a Guy Fawkes mask to protest a religion? Guy Fawkes is about protesting Government Control, I though? This new generation of spoiled punk kids hiding behind icons they don't even properly understand, means nothing to me. These people are the rich-kid equivalent of hillbillies at a drunk-off. They just waste resources and time, when they could be protesting anything valid or real. Watching people in V for Vendetta masks protesting is like watching frat-boys getting wasted. To put it another way, it's not a protest, it's a flash-mob. It's as much about anarchy as it is when a cloud of Japanese girls get together to dress up like cartoon characters. It has as much to do with freedom as that street-wide pillow fight I was a part of. Only the Internet Generation could believe that masked protests mean something. Jesus. Like all the masks worn in the "million masked men march." How proud and brave.
Down the street from me works a woman. Every day, she works 2 jobs, and she goes to school. She's learning English. Her days are about 20 hours long, and she gets one day off every couple of months. And you know who she serves? Those self-righteous little rich kids out "protesting the culture." Well fuck them. That woman is my fucking hero. She tries so hard to listen to people, to be nice to everybody that comes across her day, and people shit on her. People treat her like crap, because she's a food-service worker and she's a North American who doesn't speak fluent English. So where's her revolution, huh? When is the freedom bus coming to pick up all us proletarians who want to be a part of these fun rich-kid games? I'll say this: V for Vendetta was one of my very favorite works of art & fiction. It's the only book I've read that compared to 1984. V changed my life, and my mind, and it made me want to do something powerful with my existence. I did not choose to follow the fictional path of the character from the book, I choose to follow the example of the living man who created the book. Codename V is a psychopathic killer. Alan Moore is an artist, writer, dope-smoker, and charitable humanitarian. I'd rather be like Alan Moore. As such, I'm writing my own comics about social injustice and the people who take up arms to fight against it. I'm not writing non-fiction, because in the here and now, I don't support violent actions, just like Alan Moore didn't support literal violent actions in his fictional book. Like him, I try to say, "this is what it's like in this scary sci-fi world I created, but it's all a metaphor for the way we're living now."
In other words, I read V for Vendetta, and instead of putting on a mask and hurling a piece of poo tied to a brick, I set to work at creating a piece of fiction which could enter people's minds and change the way they think. If I ever saw my characters being used as icons of some anti-cult protest, I'd be disgusted. Like Alan Moore, I'm not even comfortable with the idea of action figures being based on my ideas - this notion that somewhere out there is a person inhaling paint fumes and living outside of a village poisoned by plastic byproduct runoff, all because some spoiled rich kids needs a new action figure, that's the opposite of what I'm doing this for. I don't want toys based on what I'm doing. Well, we do talk about having a talking Dot action figure, who'd say stuff like "The child who made this toy you purchased is working and living under inhumane conditions." These V for Vendetta mask-wearing protesters should all get into their Mom's SUV's and drive to some less fortunate country and try to help the poor people, instead of calling it a "protest" when they all get together to drink and smoke cheap weed in the middle of the street. Or maybe Codename V should start showing up in the dead of night, burning down their homes and waiting for them out in the lawn with a pair of gardening sheers. I dunno.
Unlike The Xenos, I do not think that Codename V or Alan Moore would be proud of what these people are doing. At any rate, if you ever intend to impress me, take off your fucking mask before you say something important in public.[youtube]ETsYIi87wg8[/youtube]

Tags: Tales Of The City Streets


3/29/2008 11:13:11 AM permalink

So, who's your favorite scar-faced, gun-blazing, horror-western hero? Well, yes, of course it's me, but who's your favorite from the comic books?

Image from Amazon
That's right - I'm talking about Jonah Hex, baby! A day or so ago, a guy came into my store, asking about Hex. Seems that he works for some local movie company who're looking at the possibility of optioning Hex as a movie. They had a script that they were looking over, or so I was told, and were just wondering about the character. Who was he, what was his history. The guy I spoke to had liked the few pages of the script that he'd read; he was also a fan of Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's Preacher series, which at least meant we were talking somewhat the same language.
Image from Amazon
Jonah Hex, the movie. Could be amazing, could be shite. Could easily be either. We're talking an R-rated horror western I'd hope. Sort of a "Friday The 13th" meets The Saint of Killers, meets Unforgiven? A scarred anti-hero in a darkly amoral world, killing every last sorry bastard to make the mistake of crossing his path? I'd go see that. As of for casting... Well, Nick Furious was saying that it's just a crime that Clint Eastwood's too old now. That led us into this strange land where we kept thinking about how great... uh... Jim Carrey. Yeah. Jim Carrey. Now wait, just hear me out - Jim's a great actor. I truly do think that. I think he's a real actor, who plays a lot of dumb roles in a lot of dumb movies, but on the other hand, he's also filthy rich. Anyway, point is, Jim Carrey does a Clint Eastwood impression that would fool Clint Eastwood, and Jim's always looking for darker, creepier roles to play... Jim Carrey would make a weirdly great Jonah Hex, if he played it totally straight. No laughs, no mugging. Just him, as a cold-hearted gunman. Anyway, that's just dream casting. My #1 pick for Johah Hex is actually... Are you ready for this? Gird your loins...
Nathan Fillion. Yeah. I think the Captain of the good ship Serenity would make a perfect Jonah Hex, especially since he's a good looking dude, so it'd be that much more meaningful to scar up his pretty face. Fillion is an actor & a cowboy, and can really walk that line between playing a nice trustworthy dude, and a real horrible piece of crap. I think he'd be able to pull of Jonah Hex - though in more recent cartoon appearances, Jonah was voiced quite well by another member of the Serenity crew, Adam "Jayne" Baldwin - also a great actor who could really rock the role of Hex if it was given to him. Anyway, I'd hope that Jonah Hex would be one of those comic characters would could really transition well to the big screen, but, and this is a big booty-shaking but, only if it's an R-rated film. I don't see the point to a PG Jonah Hex, and hopefully neither will anybody else. I'd also love to see one that had some weird shit in it; Jonah on peyote, Jonah killing monsters that ain't quite humans, Jonah facing the weirdness of the wild west.
Image from Amazon
Sure Jonah Hex could make a great movie. But what would be even better, would be following it up with the sequel, "HEX", where he travels to a post-apocalyptic future, fighting space squid with laser guns! And turning into a robot! And fighting other robots! And driving a flying car! That'd be sweet! [youtube]bk6IWzU7kWA[/youtube] This one was recorded kind of quiet, so you really gotta turn it up!

Tags: Tales Of The City Streets

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Date Joined: August 6, 2007