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Season Finale O-Rama-Rama
Chuck and Heroes take a bow...for better or for worse By
Rob Vaux
April 27, 2009
Claire and Peter running (surprise!) in another episode of NBC's HEROES(2009).
© NBC-Universal
Heroes has its season finale tonight, and judging by the catcalls, rotten fruit and lit bundles of dynamite hurled my way this past week, its fans are far more sorry to see it go than I am. I'm glad it generates such enthusiasm, and if my less-than-stellar opinion of the show has offended, please rest assured it's not personal. Opinions foster debate and debate keeps big daddy Earth spinning around the sun. Heroes certainly generates more than its share, largely because it holds so much potential. Its detractors (and believe me, I'm not the only one in that camp) get angry because they feel it hasn't lived up to its capabilities: the same capabilities its supporters cite as the reason they keep tuning in. A show which doesn't engender such passions--something bland and milquetoast, which never offends because it never aspires to any heights--is largely forgotten by the time the next season rolls around. Regardless of its final status, Heroes seems to have avoided that fate.
In any case, it has little to worry about because it's already been renewed. Its cohorts, Chuck and Medium, are on much less solid footing. NBC is a shambles at this point, and like any desperate, cornered animal, it's capable of anything. On the other hand, the prognosis for Chuck is decent enough to provide hope, and Medium still has a chunk of episodes left to go. As they close things out this year, it's worth wishing all three of them best of luck for the future. What would we have to scream at each other about without them?
Monday
24 (Fox, 9:00 PM EDT)
According to TV Guide, "the standoff continues between Hodges (Jon Voight) and President Taylor (Cherry Jones)." Considering that Hodges took a suicide pill at the end of last episode, I'm very interested to see how that comes out. Maybe Hodges and the First Gentleman (Colm Feore) can have a gurney-based demolition derby in the hospital halls…
Chuck (NBC, 8:00 PM EDT)
The season (and possibly the series) winds up as Captain Awesome (Ryan McPartlin) gets married and Chuck (Zachary Levi) must shield the world from the unspeakable evil that is Chevy Chase.
Heroes (NBC, 9:00 PM EDT)
In the interests of detante, I will decline to snark on this entry. Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) tries to stop Sylar (Zachary Quinto) and Hiro (Masi Oka) gets his powers back with a surprising twist. Enjoy!
Medium (NBC, 10:00 PM EDT)
Allison (Patricia Arquette) has to find some way to keep her unholy stalker at bay in the conclusion to this two-part episode. (Not the season finale, as had been initially reported.)
CSI: Miami (CBS, 10:00 PM EDT)
In a not-at-all obvious swipe at a rival network's reality show, a TV bachelorette is found dead and evidence points to her onscreen rival. Strictly speaking, it's probably only a matter time before something like this happens for real.
The Abyss (FMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
James Cameron is apparently a big jerk, but good lord does he know how to make movies. Case in point: this sci-fi extravaganza set almost entirely underwater and containing effects which, in 1989, were some of the most astonishing ever seen.
Tuesday
Fringe (Fox, 9:00 PM EDT)
Serial killers are supposed to take trophies of their victims, but spinal fluid seems a little sloshy for such endeavors. Then again, eating their skin is so last century, so maybe fluids are the new way to go.
Reaper (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
Sam (Brett Harrison) gets a hell-bound hottie as a tutor, whom he hopes to sweet talk into revealing key information about Satan's (Ray Wise) master plan.
The Mentalist (ABC, 9:00 PM EDT)
Witness Protection apparently isn't all it's cracked up to be when a federal stool pigeon gets permanently weaned off the government teat. Jane's (Simon Baker) unique skills will presumably point the way to the culprit.
X-Men: The Last Stand (FX, 7:30 PM EDT)
Though easily the weak link in the X-Men franchise, this third effort remains mildly entertaining thanks to some fun new faces and Hugh Jackman's always-reliable turn as Wolverine.
Wednesday
Lost (ABC, 9:00 PM EDT)
A new, new episode (as opposed to last week's fake new episode) reveals what Faraday (Jeremy Davies) has been up to since we left him weeping over his lost love in the jungle.
MonsterQuest (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
Tonight's episode concerns ape-like creatures on Vancouver Island… whose abilities apparently include annoyingly vague promotional copy for episodes surrounding them.
UFO Hunters (History, 10:00 PM EDT)
Thankfully, the History Channel's second paranormal program of the evening is much less obtuse. It focuses on cattle mutilations: about as clear-cut a sign that something ain't right as you can find.
Ghost Hunter (SciFi, 9:00 PM EDT)
Lunatic asylums in Newark? Yeah, I'm guessing they have their share of bad spiritual mojo. The TAPS team takes a look to find out for certain.
CSI: NY (CBS, 9:00 PM EDT)
Those darn Nazis; you just can't keep 'em down. This time, they apparently kill a dealer in rare jewelry whose wares include a brooch with links to the Holocaust.
The Birds (TCM, 7:45 PM EDT)
They asked Hitchcock what he was going to follow up Psycho with, and this was his answer. Keep watching the skies… those seagulls are up to something.
Thursday
Smallville (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
Chloe's (Allison Mack) got a secret. It lives in her basement and eats mobsters. I'm guessing Clark (Tom Welling) isn't going to let this one go with a shrug and a "mistakes happen."
Supernatural (The CW, 9:00 PM EDT)
Castiel (Misha Collins) appears to Sam (Jared Padalecki) in a dream, prompting the boys to begin a search for her.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 9:00 PM EDT)
In a not-at-all-unnerving bit of timeliness, the team works to prevent the spread of a possible epidemic. If it turns out to be swine flu, I'm heading for the bunker and not coming out.
Kröd Mändoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire (Comedy, 10:00 PM EDT)
Dongalor (Matt Lucas) has activated the Eye of Gulga Grymna… and while I confess breaking out into fits of eight-year-old giggles writing down those words, I'm betting it's not nearly as funny as it should be on the show itself.
Hellboy (FX, 8:00 PM EDT)
Personally, I found Guillermo Del Toro's 2004 adaptation of the Mike Mignola comic book to be a bit of a letdown. It has plenty of adherents, however, along with the undeniably gleeful prospect of Ron Perlman shooting a lot of big guns at extra-dimensional squids.
Wolverine and the X-Men (NickToons, 9:00 PM EDT)
Some sources report that a new episode is running tonight, but others are saying it's just more reruns. I can't imagine why they'd want to start the show up again. It's not like there's another X-Men property out there to create any synergy or anything…
Friday
Dollhouse (Fox, 9:00 PM EDT)
Truth be told, I probably hate Dollhouse even more than I hate Heroes. But Alan Tudyk is guest starring this week… and Alan Tudyk really is too cool for words. Damn you, Joss Whedon!
Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8:00 PM EDT)
The housing crunch hits the great beyond as the unquiet dead are forced to relocate to a little girl's dollhouse. Subprime Barbie to the rescue!
Primeval (SciFi, 10:00 PM EDT)
As extinct creatures go, dodos really aren't all that scary. But the civilization-destroying parasites they carry? Yeah, that may be cause for alarm.
Iron Man: Armored Adventures (NickToons, 10:00 PM EDT)
The Mandarin goes undercover at Tony Stark's high school under the pseudonym Gene Khan and… wait, what!? We're being Punk'd aren't we?
Dr. No and From Russia With Love (TCM, 5:00 PM EDT)
TCM pairs the first (and one of the best) Bond films with its rather dreary and plodding follow-up. Considering that Ian Fleming's original novel From Russia With Love was a thing of beauty--and considering that they adhere very closely to his storyline in the film--it serves as a textbook example of reciting the notes without playing the music.
Brave and the Bold is off this week.
Saturday
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Well-received by critics, but only tentatively embraced by Potterites, the third entry in the Harry Potter franchise still benefits from some first-rate effects and Gary Oldman in the part of Harry's godfather, Sirius Black.
X2: X-Men United (FX, 8:00 PM EDT)
Not only is this easily the best of the four X-Men films, but it gives Wolverine fans a chance to compare Danny Huston's fine turn as William Stryker with Brian Cox's original performance in the same role.
Bottom Feeder (SciFi, 9:00 PM EDT)
Let it never be said that SciFi tries to hide its content beneath a gussied-up title. Cringe at how low Tom Sizemore has fallen as he takes on yet another Thing That Should Not Be in the bowels of some sewer or another.
Kings is officially AWOL. Not even TiVo knows where it is.
Sunday
I Am Legend (HBO, 6:15 PM EDT)
Will Smith: good. Mucking with sci-fi classics: bad. Changing ending to fun-time happy crowd-pleaser: unforgivable.
Fireball (SciFi, 9:00 PM EDT)
It's kind of like Firestarter, except that instead of adorable moppet Drew Barrymore, it's a terminal psychopath with no regard for human life. Still beats Vampires Vs. The Fresh Prince any day of the week.
Did you just call X-Men 3 "mildly entertaining" and diss From Russia with Love in the same article? Are you a Skrull, Rob?
* Kings will be coming back in June to finish out the season/series. Word on the street is it checked in for some grief counselling after what happened with its ratings.