A concerned vampire slayer despite her own problems, in "Wrecked."
© 2001 UPN
September 2 September 8: BUFFY, the most offensive show on TV?
By: Sonia MansfieldDate: Monday, September 02, 2002
Prepare for ranting in 3... 2... 1...
The Parents Television Council can kiss my TV-lovin' ass.
I hate, hate, hate the PTC.
There. I said it.
I don't like organizations whose sole purpose is to push television networks to program only their idea of "family-friendly" shows because they're too lazy to police what their children watch.
The Parents Television Council just rubs me the wrong way. If it were up to them we'd all be watching TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL and 7TH HEAVEN because those would be the only shows on.
Dear lord, in a world like that I'd be forced to resort to reading books. I don't want to live in a world like that.
I bet you're wondering what the PTC did this time to make me climb up on my soapbox. Well, the "we know what's best for everybody" group has put out its list of the best and worst shows in primetime and, honestly, it's more fun to read the list from atop my mighty soapbox.
So, what's a bad TV show by PTC standards? Well, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, of course. That's right. It was that stupid group's pick as the most offensive show on TV.
Please, anyone who isn't a complete retard knows that BABY BOB is the most offensive show on TV.
This group drives me batty because they think every show should be for everybody, and well, that's not how it works. There are hundreds upon hundreds of channels and some of them are specifically for children.
OK now, prepare to laugh yourself silly at what the PTC considers the best shows on TV. Are you ready? Here we go: DOC on Pax is the group's #1 pick. Never heard of it? Well, consider yourself lucky. It's a lame show with Mr. Achy Breaky himself Billy Ray Cyrus. Oh god, my sides hurt from laughing.
In a press release, L. Brent Bozell, president of the PTC, said, "The PTC's best/worst rankings clearly show that the networks have a long way to go before parents can be assured that their children will not be bombarded with filth during prime-time."
I've got one thing to say about that: Whatever.
Actually, you know what will prevent your children from being bombarded with "filth?" Monitoring what your children watch and changing the channel when you feel they are watching something they shouldn't. It's called parenting. Look it up.
OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.
Got something to say? E-mail it to me at RedSonia@cinescape.com.
Now, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.
Monday, September 2
Here's a The cast of 24 © 2001 Fox
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY on Fox at 7:30 p.m. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that "something" is the fact that she's Cameron Diaz.
AMC has got THE ABYSS at 8 p.m. I don't care what you say, that movie rules.
Bo Duke starts acting all crazy after being exposed to some sort of crazy plant pollen in tonight's repeat of SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). Allergies are a bitch, aren't they?
Oh, and there's a full hour of CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM on HBO, starting at 9 p.m. If you don't watch it and laugh, then you must be brain dead.
TUESDAY, september 3
The final two America's Sweetheart Kelly and Sideshow Bob look-alike Justin compete for the title of AMERICAN IDOL, tonight at 9 p.m. on Fox. Go Kelly.
Buffy gets tough with the Legion of Nerds in tonight's repeat of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.), but not as tough as Willow gets with them later.
Clark finally learns that Chloe has a crush on him and he begins to question how he feels about her in this rerun of SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). Honestly, boys are so clueless when it comes to girls liking them. Sometimes I think girls should just wear signs around their necks that say, "Hey [insert guy's name here]! I like you!"
Monk investigates a murder in which the main suspect is a huge, fat ass who can't even get out of bed in tonight's MONK (USA, 9 p.m.).
Encore has got THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN at 10:30 p.m.
WeDNESDAY, september 4
UPN has THORA BIRCH stars in United Artists Films' dark comedy GHOST WORLD. © 2001 United Artists Films
TNN has got STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN at 9 p.m. I know how you guys love your KHAN.
Starz has got THE PROPHECY at 10:10 p.m. I've never seen it, but any movie with Christopher Walken is at least worth mentioning. Well, except for THE COUNTRY BEARS. Egads!
Oh, and don't forget about SOUTH PARK at 10 p.m., followed by an all-new episode of CONTEST SEARCHLIGHT at 10:30 p.m.
THURSDAY, september 5
The Cartoon Network has got a full hour of the POWERPUFF GIRLS starting at 8 p.m.
Nick tries to determine how a hiker apparently drowned in a desert in this repeat of CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.). I suspect that many fancy scientific terms will ensue.
USA has TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS DEMON KNIGHT at 9 p.m., but I wouldn't go around bragging about it if I were them.
FX has got ALIEN 3 at 8 p.m. (See above.)
Starz has 15 MINUTES at 8:45 p.m. Coincidentally, that's how long it took me to realize this movie was really sucking when I saw it in the theater.
FRIDAY, september 6
There's a full hour of DARIA at 10 p.m.
Sci Fi is airing four back-to-back episodes of STARGATE SG-1, starting at 6 p.m.
Check out the all-new ODYSSEY 5 on Showtime at 10 p.m.
See how it all started. USA is re-airing the pilot episode of MONK at 10 p.m.
SATURDAY, september 7
What's happening, hot stuff? TBS has got SIXTEEN CANDLES at 9 p.m.
The Cartoon A concerned vampire slayer despite her own problems, in "Wrecked." © 2001 UPN
One of the best movies of 2001, GHOST WORLD debuts on the Sundance Channel at 8 p.m.
"Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money." Yep, HBO has got HEIST at 9:30 p.m.
It's late night TV for people that don't like to stay up late. Comedy Central begins airing repeats of LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN tonight at 11 p.m.
SUNDAY, September 8
Both Fry and Bender end up in an asylum for robots after both plead insanity to avoid conviction for a bank robbery they didn't commit in this repeat of FUTURAMA (Fox, 7 p.m.). That doesn't sounds so insane to me. Oh wait, yes it does.
The WB has got back-to-back episodes of CHARMED starting at 7 p.m., while UPN has got a rerun of ENTERPRISE at 8 p.m.
Fox is giving us two episodes of KING OF THE HILL tonight at 7:30 p.m. and again at 8:30 p.m. Ummm, I'd rather have another episode of FUTURAMA.
Homer becomes a cop in this repeat of THE SIMPSONS (Fox, 8 p.m.). Not as funny as when Marge became a cop though.
Connor returns from the hell dimension as a teenager in this repeat of ANGEL (WB, 9 p.m.). Kids grow up so fast these days.
Fox unleashes a full hour of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE at 9 p.m.
Who's the boss? Warrick is in this repeat of CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 10 p.m.).
The Cartoon Network's ADULT SWIM begins at 11 p.m.
Check out an all-new THE DEAD ZONE at 11 p.m. on USA.
Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.
