When headed out to the 'Trailer Park of Terror', we recommend you pack a lunch. Otherwise you may end up dining on the cooking of one Sergeant Stank a mountain of a man with bad teeth and a gift for curing exotic meats.
I was recently locked in a room with hulking chef and figured I'd better interview him before he edged me any closer to the bubbling cauldron of stew that sat nearby:
Rob Worley for Comics2Film (C2F): We're talkin' with...
Sgt. Stank: I'm Stank in the fabulously horrible movie, 'Trailer Park of Terror'
C2F: Tell us about yourself, Sgt. Stank.
Stank: Sgt. Stank! I did two tours in 'Nam, Rob, fighting for the freedom of this country. Now I run a little meat-packin' business. And when I get home, all that freedom I fought for is getting' yanked away from me by this organization called the F.D.A.
Do you know what the F.D.A. stands for in my book?
Fuckin' Damn Assholes.
C2F: How do you even the score against the F.D.A.?
Stank: Keep it all underground.
Stank: Yeah. I got private customers. I put a few out in little convenience stores. All local. No paper trail.
It's good good meat, Rob, but it ain't all necessarily beef.
You know, I don't have normal suppliers and I figured, hell, human meat tastes pretty darn good too.
It's all in the sauce. It's all in the sauce, Rob.
C2F: Er...so there are secret ingredients in your product...
Stank: Oh yeah! I'm an artiste. You oughta see my meat shack. I got all kinda flavorings and seasons. I'm like an artist because I just, you know, depending on how good the meat looks I just go over it...
...I get in my own little wooooorld...
I don't know what it's gonna tastes like when I'm done, but it's always good.
C2F: How'd you get into showbiz?
C2F: Well they made this movie about you.
Stank: Oh, hell! I ain't acting.
They just came by the meat shack one day.
C2F: Rolled cameras.
Stank: Rolled cameras? What does that mean?
C2F: They filmed what you were doing.
Stank: Oh yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, I ain't one a them Hollywood types. I don't know what "roll camera" meant.
Seems to me that'd mix it up, you roll it around like that.
C2F: Do you know the actor Ed Corbin? He's in your movie.
Stank: Oh yeah. He's a pretty good kid. I don't let him out much at shows like this.
C2F: How would he prepare for a movie like 'Trailer Park of Terror'?
Stank: He would go into a makeup trailer and Drac Studios, who has three Oscars under their belts, would spend about three hours with him and when he stepped out, he was Stank.
I ain't fuckin' with you, Rob. There's no acting in this movie.
C2F: Er...I guess this conclude the interiview.
Stank: Ha, ha, ha! Now hold on. A little bit about the movie...
The reason it's so good is that they were smart enough to cast true Southerners for the roles. Three of the main characters were all from the South. There was a chemistry so thick you could taste it. And a lot of the shooting script went out the window.
But it still worked. Improvised.
Director Stephen Goldman was smart enough not to yell, "cut". Some directors you get off-script they get all jiggly and they yell, "cut", but he didn't.
You gonna see that come across in the film.
Good God, he directed 'Broken Bridges', one of his best feature films and he's done maybe 200 music videos. He lives in Nashville. He's won just about ever music video award out there. It was experience in Nashville that made him recognize the true Southern talent of Ed Corbin.
C2F: How does Sgt. Stank interact with Miss China Girl?
Stank: Miss China Girl is also in business. She runs a massage parlor. She brings money to the Trailer Park that way. I feed people and she rubs 'em down. She's prettier than me.
Being that I was a married man, I'm getting' all up in age now. I did two tours in 'Nam. I've had my fill of sowin' them wild oats, so I don't much mess with her on that level. But I respect her as a businesswoman.
C2F: It sounds a bit like Japanese Kobe beef. Massage the product before it's slaughtered...
Stank: It's exactly like that, Rob! I never thought about that.
I'll be damned. That's a hell of an analogy.
Tenderize the meat. They go out happy. She sends 'em over to me. I spice 'em up and fry 'em.
Everything tastes better fried, Rob. You know that.
C2F: Have you read these 'Trailer Park of Terror' comics?
Stank: I really haven't had a chance.
I've lived one. I think that qualifies me more than readin' 'em.
Once we got the ball rollin' and everything I had very little time to read. I was too busy killin' people.
C2F: *gulp*...You actually killed people for the movie?
Stank: If I say that on tape, it'll incriminate me won't it? You smart, Rob. What I'll do is I'll plead the fifth on that.
C2F: I don't want you to get in trouble.
Stank: I don't either.
C2F: Anything else the fans should know about the movie?
Stank: If you don't go see it, you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life.
It really will be one of the best little horror films you've ever seen because, again, we had the best time doing it. That's gonna come across on the film, Rob.
Ed Corbin said he's had some acting jobs in the past that felt like work. Good God! He couldn't wait to get on the set of this one. Not a single day there did he feel like it was work. And they still paid him! Ha ha!
Sgt. Stank serves up giant a bowl of screams in 'Trailer Park of Terror', coming in 2008. Check out TrailerParkofTerror.com for more info and previews. Visit ImperiumComics.com for the comics on which the film is based.