SMALLVILLE - 9.12 - "Warrior" Review -

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  • Title: Smallville
  • Episode Title: Warrior
  • Starring: Tom Welling, Allison Mack, Justin Hartley, Erica Durance, Serinda Swan, Owen Best, Carlo Marks
  • Director: Allison Mack
  • Writers: Bryan Q. Miller
  • Network: The CW Network
  • Series: Smallville

SMALLVILLE - 9.12 - "Warrior" Review

A Fanboy’s Wet Dream

By Joe Oesterle     February 14, 2010
Source: Mania

SMALLVILLE - 9.12 - "Warrior" Review
© Mania

The latest episode in the Smallville saga had all the warning signs of bad television. Completely unbelievable plot, beautiful guest star with no discernible acting ability, and way too much Chloe. That said, I really loved “Warrior.” It’s possible I enjoyed it so much because I took the time to “self medicate” before watching, but more likely still, I liked it because I’m a fan of hot chicks in revealing leather outfits, and curiously enough I’m also very fond of the short shorts, fishnet and stiletto look.

I’m not even grading on my usual “Smallville curve” this week, and this installment gets an “A” grade from me. I am however grading on my “hot chicks in leather and fishnets curve,” so that may have more than a little something to do with the high marks.

As a matter of fact, the only thing that kept this show from getting an “A+” was the lack of Warrior Princess on Magical Hottie full contact Jello pit wrestling.

It seems that Smallville did everything they could to appeal to the 12 year-old fanboy in each member of its male viewership. There were enough Star Wars sightings to satisfy a large portion of this particular audience, including a quick cameo by Emperor Palpatine himself. We were also treated to the feeling most every comic book nerd experiences at some point during his school years - the desire to gain super powers overnight and get revenge on every older bully who ever twisted your skinny arm behind your back and slammed your face into a shut row of lockers right in front of Theresa Valentina outside of Mr. Ackerman’s 3rd period Earth Science class.

There were some nice inside DC references as well; like Ollie’s text to Chloe mentioning the appearance of some “maniac with boomerangs.” Not sure why Captain Boomerang wasn’t pestering the Flash or rather Impulse, but it was still a nice subtle Easter egg. I even enjoyed Chloe’s casual mentioning of the “world’s finest.”

This being Smallville, there was still plenty to complain about; chiefly the fact that there was no costumed girl wrestling matches, but I’m willing to overlook the bad this week, because even without the eye candy, I sincerely enjoyed this episode for some reason. One thing I would have liked to see was better artwork in the “Warrior Angel” comic book itself. It would have been so cool if DC supplied the artwork by someone who could imitate Joe Schuster or Curt Swan. Instead the decision makers at the CW must have grabbed some 1st year art student off of Craigslist to do the comic book illustrations.

Sometimes the lack of a special effects budget on this show can be maddening. In case the Smallville Big Wigs were unaware, the featured character on this program is a guy who can fly to the moon, hurl islands, and drill to China by spinning really fast. Watching the sparks fly off the chain link fence while off camera Clark has used his heat vision to incapacitate the bad guys only made me wish this show had half the budget ABC is pouring into “V.” I did however really like Clark wailing a can of beans at noggin of the final escaping low-level criminal. By the way, here’s another thing I noticed about the city of Smallville. That place has more steam consistently pouring out of the streets than any ten cities I’ve ever visited. I’m guessing Lionel Luthor must have made all his money importing and exporting steam.

To my way of thinking, there was a potential flaw inherent in Bryan Q. Miller’s script. That story could have been terrible had they not cast Carlo Marks in the role of the Warrior Angel. Marks was able to bring a genuine exuberance to the role of the manchild hero. An actor of lesser ability could have easily tanked the entire show, but Marks did a nice job on a tough assignment.

Did anyone else assume Chloe and that kid got it on? I know when I was 12 I thought of two things on a very constant basis. One was to have super powers and the other was having sex with a girl. I’m betting if I gained super powers at 12, I’d be doing my best to make the second part of that fantasy a reality.

Another thing I loved; the reappearance of the famed red windbreaker and blue tee shirt. Granted, it wasn’t Clark who was wearing it, but I got the feeling maybe Tom Welling threw his stand-in a bone.

The Warrior Angel’s similarities to another well-known super powered manchild; Captain Marvel are worth mentioning. Both are young boys who transform into fully-grown men and gain godlike powers with the utterance of a magic phrase. While I did think “Warrior” was a fun episode, it only made me wish we could have witnessed a classic Big Blue Boy Scout against the Big Red Cheese in a battle royale.

And how about the Warrior Angel’s logo? Looked very similar to a certain Amazonian Princess. I would have had to add a couple other plusses to my grade if we had a Wonder Woman sighting. (Although it looks like Lois enjoys some WW roleplay now and then by the looks of her closet. You’re a lucky man, Clark Kent.)

While I’m not really complaining that we didn’t get that Supes vs. Cap showdown, I will rattle off a few things that bugged me this week.

As amazed as I was with much of Serinda Swan, I was not too terribly impressed with her acting chops. It seemed to me she was reciting lines to Tom Welling instead of interacting with her thespian partner. Now I admit I don’t particularly care if Ms. Swan ever gives Meryl Streep a run for her money in any upcoming Oscar nights, especially after she sidled Tom Welling like a seasoned dancer in the champagne room at The V.I.P. Gentleman’s Club. Still I felt it only fair to point out as an actress, acting is not Serinda Swan’s strong suit.

Here’s another thing I didn’t like, but again, liberal amounts of sexy legs and low cleavage allowed me to overlook it - but when Clark spots the comic book under a stack of cartons, Zatanna says, “I always knew you were packing some heavy artillery under that tie, but seeing through walls…. Now that’s a showstopper.”

Maybe I’m being too literal here, but Clark didn’t see through a wall. He saw through cardboard. Now granted, seeing through cardboard is still quite a power, and we all know Clark really can see through walls, but why would Zatanna make the wall comment when he didn’t see through a wall? Who the hell checks these scripts for inconsistencies… I mean except for me, and by that time it’s too late. Shit like that just bothers me.

Now the biggest annoyance in this episode has to be the fact that this script was really gearing up for one big punching each other through buildings, kicking each other over farmland and up choking each other in outer space finale, and we were completely gypped of that. Instead we have the preening prestidigitator making popcorn pentagrams and Clark catching Chloe as she falls off the side of a building. Then our hero thinks it’s a good idea to take a troubled 12-year kid into his confidence and reveal his secret identity to him by taking this kid to his house - a house that reads “Kent Farm” in fairly large typeface.

In the end, Clark saves the day, and the only casualty will be Oliver Queen when he wakes up and realizes he just did it with Chloe.

So that’s a lot of complaints for an A show, but aside from the gratuitous and greatly appreciated T&A, and the disappointment of a suitable ending, I really did like this installment. Of course as I mentioned I was self medicated.



In honor of Valentine’s Day, please check out Joe Oesterle’s animation, “Le Chat de Amore; The Cat of Love. And feel free to pass it along to all those on your Valentine’s Day list.


Showing items 1 - 10 of 21
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redhairs99 2/14/2010 11:44:56 AM

I too noticed the seeing through walls comment and thought, "What?"

Joe, I detect some lingering childhood issues popping up in your review.  Have you sought therapy to help reconsile these feelings?  J/K!

I did feel a bit gyped by the lack of a final super-powered showdown, but then again this is Smallville and they rarely pay-off those super-powered battle royales. 

I definitely like the callback to the red jacket and blue shirt.  Did you notice that the rest of the junior JLA was there with that guy?  I believe there was a guy in GA's outfit, Impulse's, and Aquaman as well with that guy.

I don't think Chloe and the kid got it on.  He was WAY too concerned about playing videogames when he should have been Mackin' on Ms. Mack.  Though, I am quite sure that Ollie introduced Chloe to his watchtower.

And Joe, all the outfits that Clark pulled out of Lois' closet were costumes she had worn in past episodes.  And yes, Clark is one lucky dude!

noahbody 2/14/2010 12:59:31 PM

Easy pickins....

Little kid gets her all worked up and good ol Olie swoops in for the kill!


'Early drifter christmas,' to quote Supernatural, type lovin.


Other than the babes this episdee sucked out loud, IMO


grade D! With double secret extra credit for the skin.

karas1 2/14/2010 2:01:15 PM

Smallville is either really fun or really dull.  This was a dull one.

I didn't like Big when Tom Hanks played the role and seeing it replayed on Smallville didn't do much for me.  And being female myself, the Zatanna outfit didn't do much for me either.  I'd prefer a pretty actress who can act.  Surely there are some of them out there.

I did enjoy the comic book con though.  Seeing comic book and scifi cons on TV shows is always fun.

Kara S

JoeArtistWriter 2/14/2010 2:53:49 PM

redhairs, I didn't catch that the other guys were the other JLA dopplegangers, but I did see the Green Arrow dude walking around the entire convention. I really don't think Chloe and the kid did the nasty... I'd like to think the kid just got tired of Chloe's whining and blew her off.

noahbody, Ollie is going to need one of his "buzzsaw arrows" to remove his arm from Chloe in the morning.

Kara S, yeah, you're probably right - it may have been a bad episode, but the stars alligned for me. A perfect blend of self-medication and skimpy outfits. Maybe the key to enjoying Smallville is lowering your IQ points.  :)    I was stunned at how terrible Serinda Swan was as an actress. She comes off as the girl who locked herself in her bedroom reciting lines from "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" in her giant mirror.

There was no soul whatsoever in that performance.

PAGE 2/14/2010 10:21:30 PM

This episode was cool, but it was a filler episode. It did nothing to progress the established storylines. I was really hoping that the writers would avoid filler episodes but I guess they have to save some of the money for the later episodes. They've had far worse episodes and I loved the homage they had going on in this episode. Maybe it's just me, but I could have sworn they added some of the theme song from the original Superman movie in there. One thing that bothered me was a the end when the kid gave Clark the picture he drew of the blur before he knew what the blur looked like. If he didn't know what the blur looked like, and didn't know what his symbol looked like, how did he draw it so close to the real thing? I'm speaking of the chest area where he had RBB instead of the S. He practically had it drawn pretty accurately for having drawn it before he knew what it looked like. And is Ollie so desperate for love that he has to turn to Choloe?? WTH? And I agree about Serinda Swan. While she was some damn good eye candy, her acting did suck. But. just looking at her in the outift made me not really pay attention to the acting so much. Not sure what to think about next weeks episode. Looks like another filler, but at least the focus is on Lois and Clark. At least that's how it looks in the trailer, so hopefully it will be a fun filler.

samson 2/14/2010 10:39:52 PM

I thought it was a good episode. They gave us Billy Batson without ruining the character and showed us a lonely, isolated side of Chloe without being schmaltzy about it. Chloe doesn't bother me like she does other viewers. I think the character has really evolved into the "driving force" of the show. Even more so than Clark. Also, did anyone notice that Allison Mack directed that episode? Considering she turned, what could have been a trite, throw away episode, into one of the best episodes this season, I think she shows great promise.

The "See through walls... " comment caught my attention also. But, I chalked it up to the character giving comics fans a shout out. Kind of like when someone says, "Faster than a speeding bullet."

As far as Serinda Swan's acting; meh. She's good eye candy and she never has much screen time. She's no worse than the girl who played Super Girl. Plus, she's better looking. I can take her in small doses.

I think Smallville has reached a level where it has a certain charm and, or, cool factor that makes up for most, but not all, of it's short comings.


monelonmonday 2/15/2010 5:02:51 AM

 so samson,you allison's  daddy or boyfriend or somethin'  lol?

ponyboy76 2/15/2010 5:48:52 AM

I thought it was a pretty good episode. Serinda Swan is one mighty fine chick. She can hocus pocus me anytime.That outfit was the biz. I don't thnk that she is a bad actress. I do think she's at least better than Megan Fox and look what she's done.

The similarities to Captain Marvel were pretty much full on and the actor playing the Warrior was pretty good. Although, I do wish that the writers could have developed a better, more original way of introducing him. Catching that object before it crushed Chloe has been done so many times. She must be the most accident prone person on the planet.

Does anyone else feel a little sick that Oliver is going to bed Chloe? Its not that she is unattractive, but it seems to be more of a crime of opportunity than anything thought out. You are a millionare playboy and instead of some hot swimsuit model or even Zatanna, you want Chloe?

On a separate note, I just watched Justice League: Crisis on 2 Earths and it was pretty damn good. Much better than Planet Hulk. Marvel kicks butt in the live action arena but it seems that DC owns animated.

gopherblaster 2/15/2010 6:48:31 AM

Are we sure Ollie and Chole did the nasty? Wasnt this episode origianally planed to run before the 2 hour Justice Society? CW did some shuffling around with their episodes. I only bring it up because we don't see any other hints of them hooking up. Of course they can always write it in, but that would take forsight and character development writing that was thoughtfully planned out at the beginning.  And this isnt that show :).

redhairs99 2/15/2010 9:03:47 AM

If you rewatch Absolute Justice, it would make sense that they indeed got together. Near the beginning of the two-hour movie, Ollie quickly admits that the e-mails between him and Canary were purely platonic as if he was covering his ass now that they hooked-up.


Gopherblaster, it seems like from what I've read about for upcoming episodes that they do in fact hook-up. 

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