Smallville: Icarus TV Review Comments -


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JoeArtistWriter 12/13/2010 9:50:52 AM

... the rest of my review.... again, hate on it all you will, but it's my opinion. I have been more than fair to this show, but this episode showed so much promise I felt cheated... and feeling cheated by Smallville is no small feat. Here we go... you can say you don't agree with the review, but you can't say I didn't actually review it. .......

As Ollie left the surprise party Tess threw for the happy couple, he breaks up a potential mugging/rape but is seen as the bad guy and gets a beat down by the entire population of Metropolis. (Close to a dozen if memory serves.) Hawkman and Stargirl to the rescue, and later we’re joined by Black Canary (who was obviously painted up by Annie Lennox) via the monitor.

All this time Lois and Clark are blissfully unaware of what has happened to Ollie. Lois is contemplating her new last name. OK, here’s another part where my head hurt from the pure idiocy of the writing staff. Here’s Lois Lane; a woman who has probably thought a few times about marrying Clark Kent, and maybe Oliver Queen, and most likely the boy she had a crush on in second grade, and she thinks her hyphenated name would be “Clark-Lane” and not “Lane-Clark?” I’ve never been married, and I’ve never been a woman, but I know you either take the man’s name, keep your own name, or do the hybrid thing with your name first, his name last thing. His name first, your name last is not an option. I wish this were mindless crap. I’m in pain.
Want more pain? You must. You do watch Smallville after all. After Cat Grant (and let’s give it up to the writers for creating a character more annoying than Chloe) turns in Tess, Emil and Lois, she is swayed by Lois in the matter of 3 minutes because Lois claimed The Blur saved her life without Cat ever knowing. This means Lois Lane would have also been able to change the ostensibly long held political beliefs of a woman who just went to the government to turn in her co-worker and boss by telling her Santa Claus gave her presents that she never knew about, so believe in Santa, Cat. Believe. I believe I’m going to puke again.
Oh yeah, and since it was just established not 30 seconds after Lois escaped down Tess’ safety slide – a secret slide that ends in plain view of employees, that the government has used the Daily Planet’s own surveillance system against Lois and company, why is Ms Lane so hard to track? She’s still in the building. Flip on the surveillance camera and locate her. Damn.

In the best scene of the night, Hawkman comes crashing through a window in the Luthor Building and… and … well that’s about it, because if you’re expecting me to believe Carter Hall, a super strength hero who is armed with a lethal mace, and has thousands of years as a battle-tested warrior, and if you’re telling me he can’t take out some one-eyed John McCain looking old dude, then let’s just drop the discussion right here. Even if Slade was suddenly granted some kind of meta powers, I refuse to believe a guy who has been fighting bad guys since before Christ walked the earth and sea gets bested by him. Maybe the Slade in the comics, though I still doubt it, but not this tired old fossil. Did I like the burning wings and the diving heroics? Sure I did, but come on. I can’t forgive the pain they are putting me through. That little special effect does not forgive the blasphemy that went before.

So how does Clark put an end to this threat? He whips out his handy-dandy Super insignia thingy, and I’ll assume banishes Slade to the Phantom Zone. That’s just a guess, but even if I’m right, wouldn’t it make sense to establish that new gizmo at some point in the last two seasons so we have an idea what the hell it is? Ouch, I think I’m having a Smallville induced aneurysm. Can I sue the CW for pain and suffering caused by their stupidity even though I’m at least as stupid for watching this show?

And then they bury him, and then some shiny white pyramid comes out and Lois notices it, and then they’re all lying unconscious. Lucky stiffs. They don’t have to watch the remaining 5 seconds of this shit.

Am I madder than usual this week? Eff yeah I am. This show sucks! I’m sick of it. Kill it. For every decent show they do, they churn out 5 pieces of utter monkey dung. Put Clark and the gang out of their misery before you continue to ruin the brand. There’s no chance the finale is going to tie everything in nice and effective like. It’s going to suck. How do I know that? Because it’s gonna. That’s how. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to puke again.

thecheckeredman 12/13/2010 10:19:29 AM

 This show is so terrible.  Isn't it a waste of your time and effort to even cover it like this?  Do yourself a favor (like I did years ago) and just stop watching this turd.

JoeArtistWriter 12/13/2010 10:23:47 AM

Just for the record, for all of you who think I'm a whiney fanboy.... that seems to be about 90% of you, and from what was printed of my review I'll cut you some slack. Read the rest to understand all the flaws of this particular episode, then you'll see I had legitimate gripes.... I don't want just Superman, I want believable writing, I want credible logic and I want realistic scenarios... that's what I've been rallying for since I started this gig.

I've never heard from many of you who posted today... if this is the first time you've read this column, then I understand where you're coming from... again, this was only half of my article. For those of you who know me better, I hope you understand my frustration at my column being cut, but also and more importantly, at this show... I'm so disgusted by this show, and it has very little to do with how much Lois Lane is in an episode.

The reason I usually hate the Lois scenes is because they raraely write good Lois scenes. That or Durance only delivers 20% of the time... whatever the reason, the Lois scenes are typically the weakest parts of this show. I'll address anyone who has read the whole review (I pasted it in here) But I can't address anyone who has responded to the half review because I'd be saying the same thing over and over.

I am very dissapointed with this show. It just keeps getting dumber.

JoeArtistWriter 12/13/2010 10:31:09 AM

thecheckeredman, I agree. Overall the show is crap. I really thought maybe they'd come through in the last season, but my frustration only grows with each passing ep. I hated this show at first, I tried to enjoy it, and have really liked some episodes, but I have to admit I do have to lower expectations just to kind of enjoy it, and that's no way to be entertained.

It should be so much better than it is, and that's the part I've never been able to forgive. That and the fact that they don't try to correct easily correctable mistakes. This show isn't a guilty pleasure, but the writers are guilty of effing up an American icon.

rvaux16 12/13/2010 10:57:55 AM

Just for the record, Joe was not in any way responsible for the article being cut off. You see, I was drunk and there was this dead hooker and... well, I've said too much. In any case, the snafu was on my end, the article should have gone through completely, it didn't, my bad. So sorry about that. You may now resume castigating Joe solely for hating the show. Thanks!

Rob Vaux

LocoLobo73 12/13/2010 11:01:11 AM

Alrighty Joe , even if you hate the show which you do , its cool with me how ever a few points here, Deathstroke absolutely would be able to take out Hawkman, in fact Deathstroke has taken out almost every major hero at some point in time.  Deathstroke is the anti-Batman a brilliant tactitian, and a fearless warrior, he has has a DC version of the super solider serum in him, that coupled by being superly enhanced by Darkseid I think Hawkman has more then his hands full. Also strictly speaking from comic book stand point it I think it fits fine, Now here is my point to this , most of the people who have held on to watching this show have done so for love of the characters and mythos, Now that being said why is that the Fanboys have come to terms with and really dont care about the fact that this show has nothing, absolutely nothing in come with the current Earth Prime characters. So Please Get Over this crap about beloved characters that this show is messing up, mainly because, for one reason they are not those characters.  I personally from the end of the first season have always thought of Smallville as a Elsewhere version on Superman, which is exactly how it should be preceived.  

Now as far as the episode goes and I can understand the issue you have with the writing but I will say this I have never judged this show against anything but its self , unless when comparing it to other shows of like genres, such as Heroes, and Mutant X.  So when grading the episode I grade it in comparison to other episodes in the series and I have to say this is one of the better episodes.

My other question would be this Joe do you read Superman comics , cause they are not well written they never have been in fact I believe it is one of the worst titles out there, I say this mainly because after reading and collecting for over 30 years, I have maybe a hand full of books that would be considered great out of my Superman collection. Storyline wise and character developement wise this character has always been stale, hence the reason we cant get a great superman movie, but people flock to the idea and we are waiting for another one of those great moments.   How do you make a character who is basically undefeatable human, you dont , you load him up with human problems , things he cant fight with his hands or his powers. See you all see Clarks biggest challenge as the people he fights during the shows when I see his greatest challenge is being everything but Super. His greatest foe is Himself. I think that has been the main plot line since the series started Is how does a boy grow up being raised as a human deal with the responsiblity of having the powers of a God. How does that boy deal with becoming a man and deal with the fact he is not that God, and what happens when that man just wants to be like everyone else but knows destiny wont let him. Its the same as spidey, Peter Parker really doesnt want to be Spiderman, but He is the only one who can be and he knows that its his responsiblity to be Spiderman, the same is true of Big Blue

JoeArtistWriter 12/13/2010 11:25:32 AM

LocoLobo, excellent points, and thank you for not calling me names because I happen to think a show you like is crap. Talk about fanboys (and girls) Geez people, ease off on the personal attacks. I have no problem spewing back to you, but I think it's better to go about our discourse like Lobo and I here.

Yes, I know all about Deathstroke in the comics, but since it hasn't been addressed what this version of Slade is, I'm not sure he beats Hawkman. Here's my guess.... Slade has only recently become this meta power, and I'll give you he is a meta because of his rolling and agility.... that said, I'd imagine Hawkman's is at least as strong and fast, and his 2000 years of hand to hand combat should have dwarfed Slade's 3 week Darkseid seminar. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I see that.

I enjoy the Elsewhere comics, but I don't see this show as an extension of that. Again, it's fair of you to point that out, but that's hardly my beef with why this show fails so often.

As for the Superman comics, again, you're right. There are more bad stories than good ones. It is very difficult to come up with plausible stories on how to defeat a god week in and week out. That said, it's not impossible and the Animated Series did it amazingly well.

To sum up, the problem with this show is its disdain for logic, sloppy writing, and (some) laughable acting.

I can conceed a freshly powered Slade may be able to take out Hawkman, but again, I'd assume he's a much better fighter than Slade at this stage.... I'll even say these characters aren't the characters I grew up on in the comics, and I fully understand the problem of writing stories that challenge a god. These are real problems, and you don't solve them with weak scripts, poor acting, cloying dialogue and lapses in logic.

JoeArtistWriter 12/13/2010 11:27:22 AM

Oh, and Rob Vaux, that hooker was alive when I sent her over to you. You now owe me one living hooker.

Scribeoz 12/13/2010 11:48:14 AM

Joe, while i disagree with your disgust with the show, I do thank you for posting the rest of the review. As I said in the begining, even if the review is unfavourable, its still better than a rant.  You brought up valid points and you're right there's a hell of a lot of sloppy writing and Clark's proposal to Lois in terms of Welling's acting was weak. Still, Smallville is a guilty pleasure and as illogical as the thing may sometimes be, its better than the Dawson crap we'd been getting for the first eight years.Its certainly not perfect but its fun to watch heroes that will never get a live action showing anywhere else.



Badger 12/13/2010 11:58:45 AM

Ya know, I see this all the time with my wife.  If any part of a show or movie deals with hospital settings or diagnosis she just can't stand the show, because without question they always get it wrong.  I understand your issues with the plot, and to a large degree I agree with you.  Fortunately for me, since I deal with logic all day long, shutting down the logic portion of my brain for a few minutes to enjoy a show is rather easy.

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