About the Blog
The Resistance has you.
The Resistance has you.
Tags
blog retreat note to the adoring public college heroes video blog fat women in comics spoilers ignore her and shell go away vlog dobie weight school classes lanmark fat chick dont feed it dear itll want to stay feminism disappointment runaways dialogue mall theater nico charlotte spiderman miscellaneous crap chase stein civil war sleep nico minoru movie personal felicia hardey crushing depression i love bitchy selfrighteous punctuationless 41yearold commenters movies joss whedon obesity chase
blog retreat note to the adoring public college heroes video blog fat women in comics spoilers ignore her and shell go away vlog dobie weight school classes lanmark fat chick dont feed it dear itll want to stay feminism disappointment runaways dialogue mall theater nico charlotte spiderman miscellaneous crap chase stein civil war sleep nico minoru movie personal felicia hardey crushing depression i love bitchy selfrighteous punctuationless 41yearold commenters movies joss whedon obesity chase
Behind Enemy Lines
NINJAS!
(Wed 05/30/2007 09:02am)Prime reason I love Runaways: its dialogue is the new Spiderman dialogue. Ever since Spidey got all wangsty, there's no wisecrackin'! But Runaways has stepped up beautifully to fill in that blank.
Ex:
(The Runaways have to steal some piece of crap.)
Nico: He said be at his office by first light. We got just enough time to hop out of state till we figure out what we're gonna --
(Crowd of ninjas appears)
Nico: --ninja.
Chase: That's a lot of ninjas.
Nico: It's a bunch.
Chase: That's more than the usual amount of ninjas.
I WUB YOU JOSS WHEDON, FANK YEW FOR NOT KILLING ME FAVORITE SERIES MUCHLY
Phat?
(Tue 05/29/2007 11:00pm)Interwebs, I feel there is something I must tell you.
I'm fat.
At 5'8'', 200 pounds spreads out more than you'd think it would. But I'm still a size 14. My hips are 50 inches in circumference. My bust is over 38 inches around, and it's not because I'm a DD. It's because I have a fat back.
I felt I had to tell you this because at least three different people have hit on me directly in the past few days and I don't want you to hope that there is some hot, lithe young thing at the other side of the keyboard.
No, friends. It's a fat chick.
I'm so sorry.
Believe me, this isn't what I wanted for either of us! I wanted to be skinny! But my love for Thin Mints and fried chicken just won't let it happen, and if I had to pick between the world's adoration and another slice of New York cheesecake? I think I know which side I'd go for. And I know you'll understand that, given time.
I'm being honest when I say it's not you, it's me. I'm the fat one. Of course, you're the one with social constructs, but we're not going to argue about the this or that of natural selection now.
I hope we can still be friends.
Moving Along, Nothing to See Here, Moving Along...
(Mon 05/28/2007 08:14pm)Things found in room this time:
1. Length of silk cord
2. Copies American Gods (2)
3. High school diploma (things get buried very quickly)
4. Other high-heeled Mary Jane, pair lace-up ankle boots, pair lace flats
5. Novelty packages of Nutella (2)
6. Blue duct tape
7. Electric kettle
8. Captain D's Seafood Kitchen paraphernalia (water bottle, keychain, miniature soccer ball)
9. Fourth grade yearbook
10. Wire snips.
Truly, the Lands of Charlotte are desolate and strange indeed, with many eldritch creatures borne of miscellaneous crap.
So, rooms cleaned today: .5 Showers taken today: 0. Average floods averted: .75?
I suppose the flood can still be at least delayed if I try being really filthy. It worked in the Dark Ages.
What? Feminism?
(Thu 05/24/2007 04:43pm)Dost mine eyes deceive me, Internet? Did I really find a feminist moment in the T&A-laden Civil War series?
It wasn't main Civil War. It was Spiderman's series. But it was there, I swear!
Okay, so, for those playing at home, Spidey has this super-ex, the Black Cat, whose every motivation is basically "wah wah I can't have Spidey, so now I am sex-driven hellcat woman!" or something along those lines. Everybody knows it. It's the reason she runs around in a catsuit unzipped to there while banging everything in sight.
BUT.
She had a Realizaiton. And you know me, I'm mightily fond of the lighbulb moment.
She tracked down Rhino, a Spiderman villain who hadn't been able to get all his punches in and was subsequently drunkenly terrorizing New York. Black Cat's realization was basically this: just because Rhino didn't get closure doesn't mean he has to be a drunken lout (which she explained to him with an actual result), and just because she didn't get closure doesn't mean she has to be a crazy ex-girlfriend.
Just because she didn't get her love on... she doesn't have to be crazy. She can, you know, move on. Like women in comics never do, because comics are written by people who at least appear to believe that women are inherently emotional characters who can't let go of anything.
Felicia Hardey got over a man. And what's more, she didn't do it by getting under a new one. She got over it on her own merits and she talked a drunk villain out of violence without using violence of her own.
The pacificistic, feminist flower child that is one of my many inner voices is pleased indeed.
Heroes Review: "How to Stop an Exploding Man"; or, "Plot Holes, Plot Holes, How Do I Adore Thee?"
(Tue 05/22/2007 07:32am)In the interest of actual content, let's review Heroes. (Ahem. SPOILERS.)
I'm disappointed in this finale. Sure, there were some great scenes: you can't get better than Claire completely bitching out Nathan and Mrs. Petrelli, and Peter's dream sequence was great, except that the actress who plays Simone has one mood she can play, and that's high-strung suspicious. I honestly thought she was being sarcastic when she said "you're the real hero" or whatever while trying to be complimentary.
But the rest of the episode... yeeagh. Why could D.L. sit around with a belly wound for twenty minutes, then walk all over the place... then stand up for the final battle under his own power? I don't know if you've been shot recently, but I'm not sure that's really on anyone's playbook after taking a bullet. How'd he get his hand back if Linderman lost his brain? Does he have brain-hand now? Because it sure didn't look like it. I call bullshit on Heroes physical law.
Second, and this is the real pisser, what the frick, Nathan? Your motivations were all over the map this episode. First you're hell bent on stopping the bomb because it's the way things have to be and so you can be there for the American people afterwards. You've got this all sorted out in your head. And then you just sort of... show up at the end! Oh yes, Peter, even though CLAIRE CAN TOTALLY SHOOT YOU AND IT WILL ALL BE FINE, YOU COMPLETE DUMBASS. The only problem with Claire shooting him was that she just didn't want to. Oops, Uncle Peter, I don't think I can do it. How about Daddy flies you into space where HE WILL DIE, whereas the only thing I would've faced is GUILT and then you would've been fine because
PETER
CAN
FUCKING
REGENERATE.
WHAT THE HELL, SCRIPTWRITERS?
And since when does Syalr let people run at him from like ten feet away to skewer him? Matt SHOT him, and Sylar just turned the damn bullets around! Bullets go a LOT FASTER than little Japanese men! It's not like he hasn't thrown Hiro across long distances before! He did it THAT VERY EPISODE! But no, Hiro got to charge for a second and a half while Sylar stood there like a dork, WAITING for it.
I was glad to see him crawl down the sewer, though. Mostly because I do love me some Sylar, and also because it'll lend some consistency to next season, since there WASN'T ANY THIS SEASON.
And when Molly and Micah did the little kid-flirt, I almost threw up in my mouth. Does anybody remember being ten? Boys had cooties. Girls were weird. Nobody wants a little boyfriend or little girlfriend before puberty. If the show makes them grow up and get married, you best believe it's getting a punch to whatever gland will be most painful.
And hey, Molly! You just got a blood transfusion! What are you gonna do now? "Well, gee, Charlotte, I don't know, maybe show as much energy as your average ten-year-old on speed?" Gee whiz, Molly, seriously? Even though you just got laid flat after a sudden bout of your magical illness that can be cured by any ol' man-on-the-street? "Sure thing! Who needs to rest after losing all strength? Not me! I'm good to go!" Well, okay, Molly, if you insist!
And hey, Candace! You talked about being fat last episode, but when we knocked you out, who did we see? Skinny li'l Candace! Well, maybe she can use her power in her sleep, or something. I don't know. That wasn't top of my list by any means. But God, woman. Learn to throw a punch.
And Matt. I hate to repeat anything evil Company execs said, but seriously. I don't want to hear another goddamned word about your pregnant wife. In all honesty? I'm kind of glad you're dead, so now you can't mention your wife and unborn child ever again as justification for doing something completely stupid.
Oh God, though. Favorite exchange ever:
Sylar: Do you think I'd die that way? Stabbed by a silly little man?
Ando: Hiro isn't silly!
Oh, Hiro. Yes you are.
1
