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- TV Series: Spartacus: Blood and Sand
- Episode: Legends
- Starring: Andy Whitfield, John Hannah, Lucy Lawless, Craig Parker, Viva Bianca, Manu Bennett, and Erin Cummings
- Written By: Brent Fletcher
- Directed By: Grady Hall
- Network: Starz
- Series:
Spartacus: Legends Review
Surrender to Negative Grades, Spartacus. By
Rob Vaux
February 08, 2010
Spartacus: Blood and Sand
© Starz/Bob Trate
I'm not sure whether to applaud Spartacus's earnest attempts to tell a story this week or run shrieking from the abject failure which results. They're clearly not set up for that kind of heavy lifting and their child-like efforts feel almost as embarrassing as that "we're trying to depict the historical accuracy of ancient Rome, so get off our case about the gratuitous nipplage" warning at the beginning of every episode. Spartacus never embraced its status as de facto porn with the required gusto, and its effort to constitute genuine drama this week lends it a sad and deflated air.
Granted, horndogs will still appreciate the scene where two slaves couple for the amusement of gathered dinner guests, as well as some risqué shots of Lucy Lawless in a revealing toga.
Lawless proves herself absolutely fearless not only in her willingness to flash her bod, but in a rather surprising shot in which she pulls off her wig to reveal a shaven and not-at-all flattering pate beneath. Whatever issues I have with this show--and the list grows longer by the day--credit its most noted star for laying it all on the line.
Despite that, the nudity has been downplayed this week; the remainder of "Legends" compensates with copious bloodletting, as Spartacus (Andy Whitfield) experiences his first battle in the arena. Through a bit of sneakiness, he arranges to face off with his nemesis Crixus (Manu Bennett), despite the fact that no one has ever beaten the man. Their stand-off constitutes the final quarter of the episode, prefaced by whispered rumors about Crixus's prowess and interminable training sequences in which Spartacus endures various scatological fetishes intended to teach him some manners.
Director Grady Hall attempts to develop various connections between the characters, as Lawless's Lucretia spars with her society-gal friend (Viva Bianca) and John Hannah's Batiatus keeps his various financial plates spinning as best he can. Down in the pits, Crixus lusts after a nubile young slave girl (Lesley-Ann Brandt) while Spartacus continues his burgeoning friendship with the curly-locked Varro (Jai Courtney). Unfortunately, none of them attain the slightest bit of resonance, hobbled by stone-faced delivery and the same sort of Shakespeare-by-way-of-Andrew-Dice-Clay screenwriting which Spartacus has embraced in a death grip. The drama evokes far too many snickers to take seriously, reduced to marking time in between gladiatorial woofing and the next bit of NC-17 humiliation racked up for our hero. It's hard to take a given exchange seriously when the participants are up to their chests in human excrement, or when their nearly naked bodies shine brighter than a row of showroom Buicks (they order baby oil in 50-gallon drums on this show).
One bright spot--besides Lawless and her yard of guts--concerns the gladiatorial trainer Doctore (Peter Mensah). The bulk of the episode relegates him to bad-ass drill sergeant duties (with a dash of sadism thrown in to keep the show's premium cable credentials up to snuff). But a little more depth emerges towards the end, as he notices potential in Spartacus he hadn't seen before, intermingled with pity that such potential may be snuffed out before it comes to fruition.
It hardly constitutes high art--I'd hesitate to assign it any status above routine competence--but it does show signs of something better than the swill this show has dished up so far. With so many inherent problems and few prospects for correcting them, an acorn like that feels like a mighty oak. Whether it ever translates into genuine drama has yet to be seen, though the soft-core cocktail of derivative mayhem and bronzed bodies provides enough guilt-laden titillation to keep tuning in to see what happens. Spartacus requires you to cling to such flickering lights of hope: like its titular hero, we're trapped in an ugly situation and just trying to make the best of it.
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From what I have seen of this series it looks like a money grab using elements of ‘300’, ‘Gladiator’, ‘Rome’ and of course trying to tie it into the tale of ‘Spartacus’… and the results (for each clip or show I have seen) have been less than low. I may check it out if a friend gets the DVDs but as far as I go I think I'll just keep passing it by.