STARTLING STORIES: THE MEGALOMANIACAL SPIDER-MAN #1

By: Arnold T. Blumberg
Review Date: Friday, April 19, 2002

Don't get me wrong, I love Peter Bagge's work. HATE is without a doubt one of the funniest and best comic books of the last twenty years (and still dearly missed), and Bagge's rubber-band approach to anatomy and severely cynical take on life enlivens any reading experience. The man is one of the sharpest social commentators of our time, and now he's turning his attention to one of the most beloved icons of the superhero universe, the wall-crawler himself. How Marvel and Bagge came together is a mystery for another time. Suffice to say it's a joy to see the House of Ideas embracing such divergent approaches to their cherished characters. It just makes me feel all the more apologetic that I couldn't enjoy this experimental one-shot as much as I thought I would...but it's still damn good!

Maybe it's my enduring affection for the character, particularly that glorious period in the late '60s and early '70s that serves as Bagge's jumping-off point in this acidic "What If?" riff. Maybe it's that undying devotion to the innocence of poor, departed Gwen Stacy that prevents me from accepting her as the washed-out, jaded wife of a balding and equally jaded Parker. For whatever reason, I was surprised to find that I was resisting Bagge's version of the web-spinner at nearly every turn. Fighting that apparently involuntary reaction, I still managed to enjoy the issue for what it was and also allowed myself to indulge in some moments of pure hysteria (the good kind). This is still Bagge, after all, and he's a master at cutting through the sentiment and examining the underlying angst. Who knew Uncle Ben had such a past?

This extremely atypical (and rest assured, out of continuity) one-shot proposes that in 1968, Peter uncovers a sordid secret that basically fouls up his entire "Great Power/Great Responsibility" origin and leaves him a disillusioned shell. Gwen tries to comfort her poor baby in a way that countless fans would doubtless appreciate, but Peter's having none of it, silly bastard. Instead, he sublimates his sexual frustration into a serious of endless Freudian encounters with his many enemies (the scene with Doctor Octopus is almost uncomfortable but strangely insightful as well), but the answers aren't there. It's time for Peter to chuck all that selfless garbage and start cashing in. And that's just what he does.

The rest of the story takes place in 1984, when Peter is head of Spider-Man, Inc., a corporation built around his superhero persona. Parker is a despicable tyrant, lording it over his employees, including former Daily Bugle editor J. Jonah Jameson! But when fate decrees that Spider-Man must appear one more time at a Presidential speech, a horrifying assassination spells the end for our hero and his fortune. Cut to the present, where a very bitter but settled Peter Parker has made peace with his past...and still gets some action with Gwen! Who says this isn't the Marvel Age of Happy Endings?


So, minor nostalgic reservations aside, I liked this change-of-pace tale, even if Bagge's unrelenting acidity sometimes clashed with my rosier view of the good old days. We need to be shaken out of our complacency from time to time, and I can think of no better person than Bagge to do that for us. Kudos also to the folks at Marvel for allowing this to happen at all!