Movie Review

Maniac Grade: F-

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Rob Zombie's Halloween

September 04, 2007

SPOILERS! If you can call them that.

" I will crawl over there, and I will skull-f^** the Sh!t outta you!"

Yep, this is where I started really regretting watching this movie. I love the Halloween franchise, I even watch the sequels, no matter how horrible they are. However, Rob Zombie's Halloween is just retarded and useless!

The movie starts with a young chubby michael myers in his room playing with his pets, you know he will kill them....as this will be his decent. However, the whole back story on how Michael Myers because a sadistic killer is uninteresting. He kills his pets, he kills cats and then he kills a boy at school. Yet, he is "pushed" over the edge because he cannot go trick or treating? MACARONI AND CHEESE that is dumb. He was already pushed. He was gonna kill them no matter what, didn't matter if it is halloween or a bar mitzvah, he is gonna kill them! I have to admit, I did not expect much from the acting since this is a Rob Zombie film, but seriously, Rob needs to learn how to capture emotion. I read and hear how rob Zombie is a huge fan of the old horror movies, yet I do not see any of that on the big screen. Every death in this movie is boring, not scary and unimaginative, but it is mostly GROSS...fun. We know who is going to die next and we know how. Knife or hands.....mostly knife. I am not saying make the deaths like Final Destination, but give us some surprise. SCARE US! I have seen blood, and I have seen a person's inside, that is not scary it is gross....TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

As for the movie, there is not much to it. MM kills more people as a child in the re-imaging. What makes me laugh is that MM is growing up with a stripper mom and a step-dad who is disabled and and a fouled mouth prick (actually, almost everyone is foul-mouthed) in a nice neighborhood? How is this? If they are growing up in a slum then how did this slum become the perfect neighborhood in the future? Doesn't make a lot of sense. Also, after MM kills his sister, her "boyfriend" and his step-dad, he is protective of his baby sister? Then goes after her, and knows EXACTLY who she is when he escapes. How? Are they using the telepathic thing from the sequels? Another issue I have with this movie is that MM being analyzed and shown "why" he because what he because makes the movie less scary. What is scary about the original is that it was a mystery on why he killed his sister. He just did it. And then never talked again. Then, MM breaks out of prison at night and no one knows how. Freaky stuff. The way he breaks out of prison in RZ version sickens me. The rape scene was uncalled for and horrific. It made me want to puke. It had no rhyme or reason to it. RZ wanted to see a chick get raped and he put it in there.....kinda sick.

One great thing Zombie added was the masks, I liked the idea of how he became obsessed with masks. I did not like the new mask, though, just didn't feel right. Another thing that made me laugh? Is when Laurie Strode is studying with her friends and she sees MM Standing outside looking up at them. Does Laurie say anything? Nope, she is like whatever....Yeah right. I would be like guys look at this freak....looks psycho! The music was the same, but I did like how RZ did not use it at the beginning, but used it as an emotional point. But that could have been the composer, who knows.
Malcolm McDowell was a horrible choice for Loomis. I like him, he is a great actor, but he didn't even try in this movie, he just wanted it to be over with. Laurie Strode is not even a main character and that is irritating. How do we get attached? Because I sure as hell not gonna feel sorry fro MM. Honeslty, the foul and inappropriate language was just sad. Who talks like that? Seriously? Even when you are with your friends, no one is that vulgar. Anyone can write the F word or call someone a bitch. But is it necessary in a movie that is already about death? What does the profanity and the vulgar rape scene add to this movie? NOTHING!

Anyone here like nudity? ME TOO!! But I do not like nudity when I see a bloody chick running around for ten minutes. I hated those scenes. RZ has a twisted sexual desire. One more thing RZ, do not cast your WIFE anymore. She cannot act, she used to be pretty, and the suicide scene? YAWN! What is it with RZ and Trailer trash? the whole attraction of the ORIGINAL Halloween is that MM killed for NO reason. He was Pure evil. Not bread this way, BORN this way. That is what is appealing in John Carpenter's version. If I could give this a -0 times a billion, I would, but sadly it is A-F. I give it an F-----------, but Mania only provides F-.

I am sorry, but this movie was not scary and uninteresting. It was gross and over the top and it has to be the worse film I have seen all year. I had to wait an hour to see MM. This was unacceptable. And they way MM dies is laughable. Oh, and the box office 'Record" is a bunch of crap. If Spidey 3 or Transformers opened over Labor Day Weekend, you better believe it would be in the 100 millions, but Halloween barely scrounges up 26 mil and it is a success? Talk about low expectations. I paid 12 bucks for my ticket, it went up from 10 at the beginning of this year to 12. So yeah, less people, but such high ticket prices, more money. Good job RZ.

I had to watch the original Last night just to wash my eyes of the crap that was laid upon me. I forgot just how good the original is. Thank goodness the Original cannot be taken away. I would rather watch Halloween: Resurrection than this Garbage. That is the honest truth.

tC

Click here to read the staff review by Mania.

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

themovielord 9/4/2007 9:17:21 PM

"I would rather watch Halloween: Resurrection than this Garbage", I am right there with you. I put Halloween 3 in my Netflix because that has to be better than Rob Zombie's.

mckracken 9/8/2007 3:09:08 PM

did Halloween Resurrection get a theatrical distribution? I dont even remember this flick being released...EVER. I looked up Halloween on IMDB and found that they made another sequel after H:20 and I knew nothing about it.... but please... for the love of God and ALL that is sacred.. take Halloween III Season of the Witch off your netflix que... it sucks... its a horror movie bearing the Halloween title... why? i dunno... its really bad and I cannot see how Rob Zombie's remake could be more horrible than that one. I'd still like to see this as a double "grind house" feature with Hatchet!

Phetus 9/8/2007 4:02:55 PM

Okay, let me preface this by saying I respect your opinion and your right to share it, because after all, a review is a review, good or bad. But to refer to a movie as "retarded and useless" and then later in your review point out that zombie's vision did have redeeming qualities, is just poor journalism and you probably shouldnt be reviewing anything. First and foremost, I know you're probably a big fan of the original two films, that make up the story for zombie's "re-imagining" in the original, young michael's first killings, and incarceration amount to about 15 minutes of prolouge and as you are well aware 90% focuses on "the night HE came home" now this version flips that premise and gives you a look at who Michael was, it extends the prologue and the main plot of the original is reduced to about 45 mins. Its the same movie, but things are switched around to extend michaels back story. So for Laurie not to be a main character would make sense, because the original was about Laurie Strode and her reaction to the night Michael Myers returned. Zombie's version is strictly about Michael Myers, and Laurie Strode is a background character. So essentially they're both character pieces, the same story told from different points of view. As far as the gore being disgusting and pointless? Welcome to 2007. It's been nearly 30 years since the original, and while I do agree that the lack of imagination in horror films in lieu of a bloodfest is overdone nowadays, its zombie's style. While you may have seen this film only because it was "Halloween" you obviously knew this was a Rob Zombie film, and anyone who's seen his previous two films knows ahead of time that they will be gory, so to villify the films for this fact is just pointless. To say that its retarded that myers killed because he couldnt go trick or treating is also pointless because you dont take notice of the fact that while the original left a little to the imagination, the original once again providing the backstory for Myers, obviously he killed before he couldnt go trick or treating. In Zombie's film his stepfather was bound and murdered, before he killed the sister and her boyfriend. So he couldnt go trick or treating? thats not a motive for killing his stepfather. If you pick up on the dialogue a little, you'll have noticed that the character mistreats myers and taunts him for killing the animals, "make you feel like a big man? real badass killer motherfucker?" basically yes, he killed animals to have power over something he again kills not because he couldnt go trick or treating, but because he steps it up a notch, he wanted to have power over those people who wronged him. If he had killed for "no reason" as you previously stated, its probably safe to say that his mother would've died too. You seem to just tear this movie down without a simple understanding of modern film making. The point of most movies is to get people to buy a ticket. This film had 2 built in fanbases from the beginning. The orignal fans of carpenters version, and the Rob Zombie fans. Now Im sure that amounted to most of the breaking labor day crowd, but every film has to have a way to appeal to a larger audience. Those who are going to see a "horror" film nowadays expect more, they expect blood, they expect little plot, they expect minor character glitches, its just the way it is. If you want to pick this film apart based on the original thats just ascenine and pointless. Its NOT Carpenters version, its ZOMBIE's, and its your problem if you expected a carbon copy. The movie was well done for what it was, its not gonna hold a candle to the original and I really doubt that anyone who saw the original expected that, except apparently, for you. And as far as your theory that "Transformers" and "spiderman 3" would've made more money? Even an idiot could see that? Both those films have a much wider built in audience simply because they were NOT horror films. The horror market is a niche market. There was no excessive blood in transformers or spiderman 3, so children could go see them, both movies were PG or PG-13 at the worst. To argue that these films wouldve outdone a major tent-pole release that just happened to be rated R on a 4 day holiday weekend is just redundant. As far as your bitterness for overpaying for ticket prices? what theatre did u go to? its your fault you CHOSE to overpay to see a film you obviously expected to suck beforehand, now that's what I call "Retarded and Useless"

GentlemenDeath 9/8/2007 8:42:42 PM

Phetus....You the man! You just said everything that I have been trying to convey, so thank you! I liked the film and I have posted so in the Halloween breaks memorial day record, or whatever. And since I said I liked it I got bashed for having shitty standards...Oh fuck off! I thought the film was awesome and I have seen it twice in theatre. Better then the original. Of course not, but still pretty damn good. People keep on bringing up, "Oh, I knew it was going to suck anyway!" Two things for you guys: If you go into a movie thinking that it is going to suck, then more then likely you will not like it, duh! And second, why would you pay to go to a movie you do not even want to see?!?! That strikes me as Retarded and Useless! Like Phetus said, I respect people's opinions of the movies they watch, hell I liked Battlefield Earth, okay. But to slam people for liking this particular movie, when there is much, much more out there that is far worse, is pretty sad, my friend.

mckracken 9/9/2007 12:35:59 AM

Swansong, ok first I finally saw this tonight... I too LOVED IT... better than Carpenters version? Possibly. All I can say is that I'm VERY happy to have Rob's version sitting on my DVD shelf next to Carpenters version... I like them both just the same and am glad that Rob decided to give us more of a backstory on Michael Myers as a character, since he really doesnt do much but kill people on "The night HE came home" to get a little insight behind him first was really a nice touch. Anybody who says this: 1) "I would rather watch Halloween: Resurrection than this Garbage. That is the honest truth." or 2)"...need to rewatch the original again to get the bad taste out of my mouth" or 3) "I put Halloween 3 in my Netflix because that has to be better than Rob Zombie's [version]." just flat out doesnt know what they just watched or doesnt understand what pure unadulterated crap actually is... this IS a masterpiece compaired to Carpenters original, and if you feel like renting Season of the Witch.... you can just go and waste your rental money! Shit... theCollector and theMovieLord go watch Gus Van Zant's version of Psycho, ok??... go watch Halloween III... go watch Day of the Dead 2 or Creepshow III if you think this movie sucks so bad... and then you'd be justified with all your little snide stupid comments! Have I made my point???? Please stop bashing this masterpiece... I loved it, I though it was a GREAT remake. I just didnt appreciate the two proud parents (and their lack of parenting skills) that took their two 5 year old kids to see it. Its a GREAT flick, but its rated R for a reason, stupid assholes.

GentlemenDeath 9/9/2007 3:41:23 PM

Agreed to the fullest mckracken. To have people say they would rather watch Halloween III then this is pretty....sad....And good point with slamming them liking Gus Van Zant's version of Psycho better....That movie was horrible, just bad. But, one of the reasons I posted again was that you brought up a disturbing point mckracken which is I also had parents in the theatre who brought kids as little as 10 in with them...It is sick and there needs to be a new law against that.....It actually kinds of scares me a little knowing that the parent is letting their kid watch something like that....

theCOLLECTOR 9/9/2007 4:36:53 PM

Phetus, Did I say I was a journalist? Am I getting paid for these reviews? Your name captures your mentality perfectly. Welcome to 2007? Because gore is disgusting and useless? Now, where in that sentence did you conjure up anything that was coherent? Because it is 2007, we have to expect less and think less? It is called being original. the ONLY original premise in that movie was the masks, and even that was borrowed from Japanese horror. Hitchcock said it best: "There is no terror in the bang; only the anticipation of it." Rob Zombie is not a good director nor writer. It shows. The movie was retarded and POINTLESS. Can you tell me why the rape scene was there? What did it add? How did it help the story? Or why a girl is running around half naked and alive for 15 minutes? So MM doesn't want her to die? The reason and back story on how he became a monster has no depth. where is the logic in trailer park trash people growing up crazy? This surprises no one. You seem to not understand why I mentioned the Labor-Day record, probably because of your name, but any who, the reason is that people are making a big deal out this movie making money. LESS people and higher prices should NOT determine if a movie is huge are not. ------------------------------------------------------------------- swansong, I honestly do not care if you liked the movie or not. I do not bash what other people right. I do want them to back up what they say. That is all. If you loved it, GREAT. Then can buy the DVD, HD-DVD or Blu-ray. Have a ball. I liked Battlefield Earth and I read the book. No reason to bash people's opinions, I agree. However, Phetus does not needs to act that way. ------------------------------------------------------------------- mckracken, What makes a story great is that there is mystery. No one wants to know how Vader became Vader or how Hannibal became Hannibal. The joy is not knowing and having a mystery. If you are going to do it, do it RIGHT. Not half-assed like RZ. Also, please get your quote right, I never said "...need to rewatch the original again to get the bad taste out of my mouth" I stated this "I had to watch the original Last night just to wash my eyes of the crap that was laid upon me." Now if Movie Lord said this, then whatever. I highly doubt, I only say this because phetus will rip you or your journalistic skills. How are those paychecks by the way? Blank? You are calling Halloween a MASTERPIECE? That is a bit too much, don't you agree? Seriously, what does Gus's Psycho and HIII and DOTD2 have to do with anything? I hate those movies. Did I state I loved them? Maybe I should clear this up. When I mean Halloween series, I mean the movies that ACTUALLY HAVE Michael Myers. Halloween III is not in that equation. Please do not tell me what I have or have not watched or what I do or do not understand. I can dissect a movie like no other. Don't think so? Read my reviews. I know EXACTLY what I watched. Yes, parents bringing their kids to this movie is appalling! Someone needs to make laws as suggested and get that taken care of. talk about warping a child's mind. I am going to end this with a little thought. IT IS A MOVIE. People are trying to bash me for a review that is about a movie. Will not change anyones life. I never once bashed any of you, show the same respect. If you want to debate the movie, PLEASE DO! However, bashing me only shows that YOU do not have real knowledge of what you watched and are angry that I put down something you liked. I stand by my review and grade. It was movie that should not have been made, and since it was, should not have been called Halloween, "Hell's Retards: Devils Rejects II" would have suffice. K, it is 2007, so I am gonna go watch mindless gore. Have a great day.

mckracken 9/9/2007 6:47:21 PM

Collector, I am not talking specifically to you and you alone, my post was addressed to "anybody" who has made these statements... #2 was actually pulled off the Yahoo User Comments, it was not quoted from this site, but oddly enough its very similar to your comment. and Movielord hated the first two Rob Zombie movies... of course he isnt going to like this remake, even if he does love the Halloween series. seems to me, both of you idiots are bias against Rob Zombie personally remaking a movie that you held so close to your heart, you hate him for that and are will to write really negative reviews to push your opinion on others. Let it go. it wasnt nearly as bad as you made it out to be, it added to Carpenters version and spotlighted on Michael... not Laurie Strode... maybe thats what pissed you off.. I dunno.

theCOLLECTOR 9/9/2007 9:57:06 PM

mckracken, I have asked you nicely to cut the name-calling. Is that clear? Have I called you a name? Secondly, I am not holding anything dear to my heart. Again, it is a movie. You are the one getting upset and name-calling. If you want to talk about the movie, then please do so. The movie is horrible, that is why I do not like it. Again, read the review and you will know. It is simple. Now you calling me an idiot is specifically directed towards me. I do not appreciate it. It is unwarranted and just shows how you let one persons review get to you. If anyone should let it go, it is you.

Phetus 9/10/2007 11:34:28 AM

COLLECTOR, let me first apologize to you for offending you with my opinions, it was not meant to come off that way. All media will forever be debated, and I for one, believe thats a good thing. It offers a point/counterpoint that iniates a dialouge. I would like to point out that I never once called you a name. I was just using your own words to point out what I feel are flaws in some of your reasoning. For you to say things like "your name captures your mentality perfectly," when I said nothing about you personally, is what is uncalled for. Then for you to later say "cut the name calling" is hypocritical. It just seems to me, that everyone seems to be hopping on the "I hate Rob Zombie" bandwagon following the release of his version of Halloween, and since I cant respond to the major reviews, I'm happy that mania offers an oppertunity to comment. You obviously weren't a Rob Zombie fan before you saw this film, and had a preconcieved notion of what your opinion was going to be. I'm curious as to whether you went into the theater already dead set against liking the film, because it would appear that way. If thats the case, why see the film at all? Perhaps you did go in with the intention of giving it a chance, and just ended up agreeing with your original assumption having now seen it for yourself. If this is the case fine. I just dont agree with your abusive "retarded and useless" comments. It seems that with your comments, your review becomes more like an Anti-Rob Zombie [as a filmmaker] review than an argument against his version of Halloween. Obviously the movie wasn't entirely "horrible" as you so stated in your recent rebuttal to mckracken, because in your review you offered up a counterpoint of redeeming qualities. I withdraw my previous statement about "poor journalism" because after all, most of us are amateurs here, and I applaud your attempt to find a silver lining in something that was, in your eyes, an awful film. I agree that the rape scene may have been unecessary, but again i will reiterate that its zombie's style, he IS over the top in just about all aspects. To truly capture the scope of his work, I guess we'll just have to see his "non-horror" offerings that will result from his new deal with dimension. In your opinion, he obviously can't do horror any justice, so maybe he'll do better with another genre of film. That doesnt make him a bad filmmaker. As for the level of gore, and blood? The reason i said "welcome to 2007." is that I was simply commenting on the fact that things change. It wasn't going to be anything near the original thats why it was a remake. Personally, I believe that with all the sequels/remakes that have come (and the hundreds more that are probably on the horizon) Hollywood itself is lacking originality. Its sad that nothing much is original anymore. You pointed out that, even the masks element was borrowed from Japanese horror. Nothing original about that, just as the entire Star Wars saga was borrowed from Samurai films and other Japanese cinema. And you are right, most people who are fans of the original films don't want to see the backstory, (ie vader becoming vader, hannibal, etc.). Hannibal Rising was an awful film, a movie based on a book that probably wouldve never been written had the first three films not done well, but even "Red Dragon" was a remake of "Manhunter," (and while not necessarily better, it was a well done update, one of Ratner's few enjoyable films) Maybe its todays society thats unoriginal, or need something more literal to scare or at least capture their attention. Its an update for a new generation, much like the star wars prequels. (which as a matter of fact you stated in your recent blog that you liked despite public villification of the films). Neither the SW prequels or Hannibal Rising did it right, so it wasn't just RZ who messed up. They all offered a backstory that probably never really needed to be told. What was unique about the original Halloween is that unlike the films in the slasher genre that followed, up until now, myers didnt have a backstory. The Elm Street and Friday the 13th films, offered up backstory in their first installments and revisited it repeatedly throughout the sequels. And before you say anything, I said "what was unique about the original Halloween," not whether the absence of a backstory was good or bad, just unique. Again, the new generation of film goers seem to need that "bang" to satisfy them, and the anticipation of such is just not enough anymore. Again, things change, sadly that is a fact of life. I believe, that while Carpenter's original can't be touched, Zombie's version again, was not the original, and thus was not intended to be as such. It was an update for the newer generation. With all the horrors going on in the real world, there is little in film that will scare anymore, and as such, the "realism" of blood and gore needs to be shown to "flesh out" the horror a little more. This is what happens when people get murdered or assaulted. They bleed, they die, they run around nude trying to escape such a fate. Who knows? maybe had Carpenter created the film today instead of 30 years ago, it may have included several of the elements you so hated about Zombie's version.

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